Akito/Shigure one-shot fic that alternates between both characters' points of view. Contains shounen-ai elements. Don't like? Don't read. I will not acknowledge any flames for the pairing. Kind of OOC (out of character), sorry. With that said, please continue and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or any of the characters. Suing me would do very little good because I am a high school student and have no money or valuable assets.
Last Days
Akito P.O.V.
"I came to see you…because you are most important, my dear Akito-san…"
It seems like so long ago that he spoke those words, so soon after he had broken through my defenses. That was probably the first time anyone had come to me not out of a sense of duty or to ask a favor…just because he had really wanted to see me.
For 18 years prior, no one loved me; no one had ever taken the time to stop and say a kind word to me. Perhaps it was because of my behavior – my cruelty had, I admit, at times been a bit unfounded. Or perhaps that lack of love and affection is the reason I am cruel. Nonetheless, after almost two decades of waiting and praying for a lover, there is one who has broken down my defenses, penetrated the mental and emotional walls I had erected to keep others out, and found a dear place in my heart. His name is Shigure.
I cannot be certain when it started. You see, it isn't as though we met recently. No, I have known him all my life, for we are cousins. But at some point in the last few months, something between us changed. We grew closer – emotionally and physically – and soon were exchanging words and touches full of longing and passion. Though no one else knows about it yet, if they did, most people would perceive our relationship as wrong because of our relation and the nine year age difference (Shigure is 27), but we don't care. Even if the world around us crumbles and no one else is left, we will still have each other, and that is enough.
Even now, as I sit alone in the doorway watching the birds, I can hear his voice. I feel his arms around me and my mouth still savors the way he tastes. Somehow, even the knowledge that this, my newfound happiness and my consciousness itself, will all come to an end soon does not deter me from loving him. They say, "Live every day like it's your last." 'Tis a good phrase for me to live by, since it very well may be, and if it is, I would want to spend it with him. Strange, how one person can make me so emotional and change the color of my life from a thick, disheartening black to that soft rose that lovers often see. I spend my days waiting not for death, as I used to, but for him.
I am pulled out of my thoughts and wonder if my eyes deceive me now as I see his figure coming down the long pathway, approaching the step where I sit.
Shigure P.O.V.
"His health is declining rapidly, and there's nothing else I can do. He's dying, Shigure."
Death - Synonyms: Perish, Decease, Expire, End.
End…it just doesn't seem real. Three days ago, Hatori told me that Akito had
maybe a month to live. I can't believe that there's only one month left for us to spend together. It seems like yesterday that I first held him and told him how I felt. As one of the "inside" family members, I, of course, knew about his tendency to fall ill and his weak immune system. I knew that he wouldn't live as long as the rest of us. But now that his time is upon us…it's like a bad dream, and I can't quite grasp the reality of the situation he is in. I wonder how he feels about it all, but I can't ask him. He may be trying to forget and I won't bring him more pain.
The rest of the family calls him cruel…heartless…a monster. I have seen past that. I have seen his true heart; I have seen the serene look on his face as he sleeps soundly…that serene look and the soft smile reserved just for me. The dream I had when I was young about the one I love – it must have been him. In the dream, something bad was happening and I was powerless to stop it. There was nothing I could do, just as there is nothing I can do now, as he stands at death's door. If I can do nothing to strengthen his body, I will at least try to strengthen his will to live. I'm not sure if he returns my feelings to the extent I would like, but I will at least be sure to tell him of mine often, in the hopes it will raise his spirits and make him want to stay on this earth longer.
With that said, I am on my way to the main house. I have spent a great deal of time there lately, which puzzles Yuki and Kyo, who know not of our intimate relationship. As I turn into the drive and step out of the car, I secretly wish that Hatori is on an errand. He may be one of my best friends, but Akito and I could really use this time alone. Walking up the long dirt path that leads to the porch, my heart flutters slightly as I see my beloved entertaining a pure white dove perched on his finger, as I have seen him do so many times before. He slowly raises his eyes to meet mine and tilts his head a bit to the side before smiling sweetly - which, now that I think of it, is ironic: I never would have used "sweet" and "Akito" in the same sentence not long ago. With a flick of his wrist, he sends the dove off to fly to a nearby tree. I approach and take a peek into Ha-san's office to see that he is not present, then sit next to Akito on the step.
Akito P.O.V.
My heart is light as Shigure slowly lowers himself to sit next to me and wraps an arm around my shoulders. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, sure that the expression on my face shows all-too-clearly my feelings. No words are exchanged for a while as we sit here, and I listen to his soft breathing, deriving a sort of comfort from it. Finally, he turns his head to look into my eyes and speaks, and I am stunned by the magnitude of the emotion in his voice, obvious though the voice itself is low and soft. "You can't die…"
I ignore the pain in my chest, caused by my illness but increased by the pain I know he is feeling, and try to respond without sounding bitter. "Shigure…you know as well as I do that my early death is part of our curse. The same curse that affects you, Yuki, Hatori, and the others affects me as well. You need not mourn for me; we all knew this was coming, and now is as good a time as any…"
He gasps at my last words and tries to interject, "What –" But I place a finger over his lips to stop him and continue my explanation.
"When you think about it, it's really for the best that I go now, before we get more attached. Imagine if I died instead a year from now; if we were still together like this, we would have grown closer and you would feel worse at my passing. Anyway, you will find someone else," This last part is spoken with a tinge of jealousy, and I'm not sure if he detected it or not; either way, I don't mind. Somehow, I am having more trouble breathing now, but I attribute it to my current emotions and try not to wheeze. I trail my fingers down his chin and slowly let my hand fall, allowing him to speak now if he so desires.
"Akito…how can you say that?" He kisses me softly on my left temple then straightens his back to rest his chin on top of my head and holds my hand, while sliding the other arm down around my waist, pulling me closer. "You know that I want to be with you for as long as possible," he sighed. "I've waited so long to finally find that one person whom I can say with certainty is my true love. And now that I'm in danger of losing you, you expect me to just say, 'Oh well' and move on to someone else? My, it seems you greatly underestimate me."
Shigure P.O.V.
"Shig – " He begins to reply, but is interrupted by a wave of painful-sounding coughs. I don't know what to do, and so I just sit there dumbfounded. He pulls out of my arms and doubles over, holding his abdomen.
"Are you okay?" Okay, so that was pretty dumb of me. Here the guy is hacking up a lung, barely able to breathe, and I ask him if he's okay. Of course he's not okay! Sometimes, I confound myself. Because of his inability to respond vocally at the moment, he makes a hand gesture that looks slightly like the wave I am so prone to, but I don't understand what he's trying to get across.
Suddenly, he takes a sharp, deep, wheezing breath and lays down on the floor. I watch him laying there, eyes closed, with his chest rising and falling sporadically as he attempts to catch his breath. Since it seems as if the fit is over for now, I speak, "Is there anything I can do? Something I can get you, or… I know! I'll call Hatori! He'll know what to do!" I position my hands on the floor to push myself up, but feel a hand grasp my wrist harshly.
"Don't go…not now…" says a quiet, raspy voice from below me. That's when I notice the thin trail of blood trickling out of the corner of his mouth.
"Akito!" I say in alarm. However, what frightens me even more than the blood is the fact that his lips slowly curve up into a smile. Not the malicious grin that I, along with much of the family, have seen many times, but a soft smile, his eyes alight with love and, strangely enough, peace.
"It's time." Those two words are enough to fill my eyes with tears and render my arms limp. My torso gently falls to the floor next to him and I stare at him in disbelief. No. Not now. Not ever! I shake my head slowly, eyes still wide. He can't leave me now; I love him too much, despite what anyone says about him.
"No…no! It's not time, and I won't let you die. Besides, your coughing has stopped," I say, trying to look on the bright side of things.
He just lays there, smiling much too happily for one who knows he is at death's door. Breaking the moment of silence, he speaks softly, without any anger or sadness in his voice. "If you really want to make me happy, stay with me."
"But – " I start, gesturing towards the phone. I really need to call Hatori. He needs to know what's going on; he needs to help!
"Just hold me. Hold me until it's over," he says through half-lidded eyes. I give in. If these really are his last moments, I will do my best to make them good ones. With some hesitation as not to hurt him, I drape one arm over his chest and pull him closer. His silky raven hair tickles my chin as his body moves to fit mine, and in this moment, I think I speak for both of us in saying that we have almost forgotten our circumstances, lost in each other. He's so warm…so….alive.
His other hand grasps my free one and he raises his head from my chest to speak. I look into those deep sapphire blue eyes that I have come to know so well, unable to fathom that after today, I may never see those gems again.
"Goodbye, Shigure."
I swallow, not wanting to say, but knowing I must. "G-Good-Goodbye." He smiles.
"I love you."
I gasp softly. It's the first time I've heard him say those three sweet words. "I love you, too."
His grip on my hand relaxes and his eyes close painstakingly slowly. I want to do something. Call an ambulance or Hatori, see if there is some medicine in the house for the cough, try to wake him up, just anything. But I don't. I just hold him, as he requested. Hold him and try to savor this last embrace. His body goes limp in my arms and I know that it truly is over.
"I love you, Akito, and I always will."