# Hey people. This is kinda like my other storie. but i'm changing a lot. just keeping the same chracters. . lol. Its Jesse's POV(point of view) not his point of view from what happen in the other storie. forget the other storie I had even happened. Hope ya guys like it. Please review with your honest opinion. I will warn you now, there is some kissing, so if you don't want to read about that, don't continue. lol. anywayz hope ya like it ;)

Jesse's POV

"Jesse, I love you," Querida said to me as she started kissing my neck. As much as I really did love it, and believe me I would want nothing more than it, she had to stop. We had to stop. Any human being that is even close to being alive could walk by and see Querida kissing the air in front of her at the graveyard. I wouldn't want to bring the laughing and pointing of a young child's fingers to her. Or any person in that matter. That would be quite embarrassing.

"Susannah," I said to Querida as she was still kissing me. I always had to remember to call her by her proper name Susannah, but I sure knew that I might of let Querida, the Spanish word for dearest, slip out a couple of times while saying her name. I'm sure she doesn't know the meaning of the word though. She doesn't know a word of Spanish that I know of. I wanted to say let's stop before one of us gets hurt, but I couldn't find myself to. The woman I loved ever since our last kiss just confessed her love to me, and all this time I thought she was in love with Slater. Paul Slater, the man I hated most in this whole entire universe. The man that tried to kill Querida, and sleep with her too. I wasn't to sure on the sleeping part. They might have done it. She might have willingly done it. I didn't know. All I knew is that I wanted him dead. More than dead, I wanted him gone forever. I never wanted to see his face again, because if I even come close to him, I swore I would kill him this time. Not only put him in the hospital like I did a few days ago, but also have him gone forever. So Querida would never have to worry about him again. So I wouldn't have to worry about him again. I still don't know how she felt about him though, she might not even be close to worrying about him. She might love him for all I knew. It didn't seem like that now, but I couldn't help but feel horrible about my actions the other night, because there was still the fact that it could of hurt Querida. I wouldn't ever want to hurt her by my actions to others. I was happy to no end he was injured though, for myself at least. I just wish I knew how she felt about Slater, if she only loved me, and not him also. I could ask her later though, if there is a later. Now I must tell her how I feel, as I know she has been waiting to hear this for ages, well that would be the matter if she didn't like Paul. "I love you." I told her. Then she looked up to me, and into my eyes. Her beautiful emerald eyes staring into mine. How dare Slater even come close as to touching her. I really wanted to say goodbye to her then, as it would be to hard to later, but I still couldn't find myself to. "Lets...lets go to your place." I said, while having no clue what to expect. Was it right to ask a young woman to her house? I don't know how those words came spilling out of my mouth, but they just did. And then I ran my hands through her silky chestnut brown hair. My hands were still shaking like they were before. I was scared to death. Even though I knew I loved her, and she loved me in return, I still had this great feel of the fact I might be rejected. There was still the fear of finding out her true feelings with Slater. She spent time with him, and who spends time with people they don't like? Even though at the moment, it felt like she didn't even know he existed. Instead of answering, she grabbed my hand, and hers were shaking too, just as much as mine were. It made me feel warm inside, that she was nervous too. That she was shaking, just like me. Then I saw her eyes slowly close shut, and I did the same as her. We were standing together, holding each others hands, waiting for something to happen. I wasn't sure what she was trying to do, but I was trusting her on this. I knew she knew a lot more than she gave herself credit for.

"Jesse..." I herd her voice say quietly to me, and I opened my eyes and noticed I was in her room, standing beside her bed, with her in front of me. We were close, very close, and I was feeling nervous. I wanted to hold her in my arms, and be with her forever, but I was doubting myself. I was dead, and she was alive. Why hurt myself even more than I already am from this? Then she put her arms around my neck, and started kissing me. I felt shivers going up and down my spine, and it felt great. My heart was beating faster than lighting. Querida was kissing me, and I knew we should have stopped. I didn't want to stop, I wanted to keep kissing her, but I was scared of having to leave her later. It was tearing me up inside.

"Querida..." I said to her while getting a breath. I don't think I was giving her the signal that we shouldn't be kissing anymore. It wasn't even right for someone as myself to even kiss a woman I didn't even have hand in marriage to, and now, I'm a 20 year old man who has already passed away kissing a young lady who is 16 and alive.

"Jesse" she sighed, and then I felt like I was burning in my pants. To hear her say my name like that. I wanted to keep on kissing Querida, it felt great, but I still had that fear of her feelings about Slater, and the fact I would have to leave her, still sitting in my mind. I was about to say that's enough for tonight, but she open mouthed kissed me. I think the kids called it making out from what I've seen in those magazines she reads. We were making out with each other. It was new to me, but I seemed to know exactly what I was doing, I couldn't really control myself. It was like when I was fighting with Slater, once I hit him one time, I couldn't stop, once I kissed Querida once, I couldn't stop kissing her. It was passionate, this kissing couldn't have been better. I was with the woman I loved, kissing her. Then I felt her hands going down my waist, and then I felt her beginning to pull my shirt up. I knew I really had to do something then, like "Querida, I love you, but how far could this really go?" but I still couldn't find myself to. Just continued kissing her and then she pulled her face back and I lifted my arms up to have my shirt completely taken off. I had chills all over my body. Chills I've never had before with somebody. It was the first time I have ever had my shirt taken off since I was alive, and Querida was the one to take it off. She stared at my chest, it was quiet. All I could hear was our breathing, it was perfect, better than the other time to stop. To stop this guilt I had, but instead of telling her that it can't go any further, I pulled her head close to mine and continued kissing her. She kissed me back and then moved apart from me and sat of her bed. I looked at her, sitting on her bed waiting for me and the chills came back. I still couldn't control myself. I was horrible. Simply horrible, I was no better than Slater at the moment. I went on her bed and kissed her back, I even leaned on top of her. So I was a man that had already passed away, with no shirt on, making out with a young lady that was alive on her bed. Could I do any worse? Yes I loved her, but I must stop. I must I must I must. My brain had been telling me this the whole time and yet I haven't listened, but somehow, just somehow, I need to gain control again. I just had to. There was nothing stopping me though, like there was when it came to killing Slater. There was nothing stopping myself at all here. But I did find self control. I hated having no control.

"Susannah, I love you, but how far could this really go?" I found my self saying while looking into her eyes. She then took a deep breath. I could tell she was taking it the wrong way. Like I didn't want to be with her. But I did want to be with Querida. I loved her, I just didn't want to get any one of us more hurt because there was no possible way to be together. So I leaned back up, and so did she and we were sitting next to each other on her bed. With nothing to say to each other. I felt horrible. "I'm sorry." I said to her, to break the silence, and it was true, I was sorry. Sorry for everything.

"No no, we shouldn't of even gotten that far in the first place." She said while taking a rubber band off her wrist and putting her hair up.

"No, its not just that Susannah, I'm sorry for everything. About me being dead, about Paul in the hospital-"

"Paul in the hospital!?!" She interrupted me with a harsh tone.

"Do you love me, I mean really love me, and not Slater?" I asked, praying that she would say no, so I could hold her in my arms again.

"Of course I don't love Paul," she said to me looking concerned, "what ever gave you that idea?" she asked me, even though I could come up with a whole list of things that could possibly mean that Querida likes Slater. There were so many I couldn't even begin to think about it. There was the time he came in her room when I was about to confess my love to her. He came in with her hair clip and said she left it on his bed. I felt like was being slapped in the face. She went on his bed, IN HIS HOUSE! Maybe that's why I think you like him Querida, did you ever come to think of that? And the fact that Slater said "does she sigh when you kiss her too?" That meant they kissed, they kissed even before we had kiss like that. I had every right to think she might like him.

"Well the house Querida. You went to his house." I told her, while looking into her eyes. I always knew doing that could make her answer me truthfully. Even though now that I come to think of it, maybe I don't want to know the truth about Querida. It hurts to have to leave the love of my life knowing that she likes Slater. I'm not like him, I actually have feelings.

"It was nothing Jesse," she said while putting her hands on mine, and then scooting closer to me, "it was nothing at all. The kiss-don't get mad that we kissed, but the kiss, it meant nothing. I don't love him, I hate him...well I hate him just as much as you hate him." She told me. So it was true, she had to of liked him, at one time she did, because they kissed. To hear that coming from her mouth, felt like a million knifes were being stabbed into my heart. I never felt so hurt. I wasn't mad, I just felt like giving her one last kiss and to leave forever. It would be easier this way, we both knew it. But to hear that she hated him, and as much as I hated him, was a shock to myself.

"Then why didn't you just let me kill him?" I said to confusingly, if she didn't care about him, why couldn't I just kill the bastard. Have him gone forever, and have her not having to worry or see him again. I would want nothing more than that right now. To have him gone, and gone for good.

"Because, I don't want a murder on my hands Jesse. Believe it or not, there is some good in him." she said while putting her hand on my cheek and then a tear ran down her face. She was crying. "I don't love him, but I don't want him dead." She said and then moved her hand away and then layed her head on my chest and started crying even more. I wrapped my arms around her for support, but I knew I should have followed my instincts from before, and left earlier. I felt like crying too. Lately I have done nothing but love Querida, but it was getting harder and harder for us, and I knew I had to leave. Leave and be gone forever. I was about to say "Goodbye Querida," but I saw something appear in her room. It wasn't something, it was a someone, a ghost! Querida didn't know the ghost was there because she wasn't looking, but I sure did. The thing is, I think I even knew who this ghost was!