Over the Edge by Lily Watters

Summary: OOTP SPOILERS--Harry loses himself and Hermione is the only one to find him. One-shot fic.

Setting:

I didn't really write this fic with a time in mind…so think of it as either after Sirius's death in the beginning of 6th year or some other appropriate time! J

One-shot songfic

A/N: This is my first try at a songfic. The song is titled "Understanding" by Evanescence. Enjoy!

PLEASE R&R!!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own any songs by or performed by Evanescence of Wind-Up Records or BigWig Enterprises. No copyright infringement is intended.

However, I own the idea/plot. Please be original with your fictions and don't take any ideas!

Song lyrics are bold/italicized.

Over the Edge

"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the imprint is always there."

the pain that grips you

the fear that binds you

He was gazing out into darkness of the night. The wind coolly played with his unkempt black hair. His eyes showed no sign of life or love. He was alone.

Harry Potter was outside looking out from the Astronomy Tower. His arms were hanging over the tower's banister and his head was down. He was still in mourning for his godfather's death and wouldn't talk to anyone. The stars were twinkling with delight and the moon cast an ethereal glow over the Hogwarts grounds. Although it was an absolute beautiful night, Harry didn't see the beauty in anything. Harry knew that he was destined to kill or to be killed. It was all too illusory. Yet, in some reality, he wanted to die. Everything he loved always slipped away from him. He was alone once again. No parents…no godfather…no love. Harry looked up at the moon with a tearstained face and held his face in his hands.

A gentle breeze brushed away a few strands of his hair, revealing a few tears left to shed. He felt another presence. He just knew. Hermione. He immediately cursed her actions. He wanted to be alone. And he could learn to be alone.

He was still looking out onto the grounds, not wavered by her presence.

"Hermione," Harry said miserably, his head down, "you shouldn't have come…"

"No, Harry… I had to," Hermione replied, as Harry turned to face her, "You aren't Harry anymore…"

Hermione saw Harry's tearstained face and his disheveled hair and knew that Sirius's death was taking control of his life. She moved closer to him, so she could get his full attention. He stepped closer as well and stared into her eyes.

releases life in me

in our mutual shame

we hide our eyes

to blind them from the truth that finds a way from who we are

"What kind of friend am I?" her wavering voice said, searching for the right words. "I can't even help you…"

Harry got closer. He took her face in his hands. He whispered, "Hermione…No one can help me."

Hermione started to shed silent tears, still looking straight in Harry's eyes. "Don't go over the edge, Harry….There's still hope…for everything, for everyone…" she managed to say. Harry put his head down and he slid his hands down from Hermione's face to her shoulders.

"I'm already over the edge, Hermione. Please don't make this harder for me or for you…" he said briskly. He started to break down. Hermione came closer and enveloped him into a firm embrace. Harry held onto Hermione very tightly, as if he never wanted her to leave. Both of them were crying for everything that was lost.

please don't be afraid

when the darkness fades away

the dawn will break the silence

screaming at our hearts

Harry gently let go of Hermione and took her hand. He led her to the highest part of the tower and sat down on a stone bench. He still held onto her hand.

"It's so beautiful…isn't it?" Hermione said weakly, looking to the stars and gripping Harry's hand tighter.

He just stared.

"Don't you see it?" she said, her body shaking in silent sobs, "The sky is so perfect…Why can't everything be like this, Harry? Why do we have to be in the dark?"

He didn't reply.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry that I hurt you Hermione." Harry said, looking over at her.

"I should've treated you better. You and Ron are all I have…" he said, his heart breaking all over again.

my love for you still grows

this i do for you

before i try to fight the truth my final time...

At his remark, she got even closer to him and held him tightly. She couldn't bear to see him hurt anymore.

"Harry…" she whispered. "Please, please…Tell me about the prophecy…That's bothering you too, isn't it?"

"Hermione, if I couldn't stand to know this, you couldn't…its way too much…" he confessed, as he ran a hand through his tousled hair.

She squirmed out of his warm embrace, turned toward him, and looked into his eyes.

"Harry. I have to know," she said with resolve. She didn't break her gaze with Harry.

"Fine, then…" he said, beaten, "As you know the prophecy was about Voldemort and me. It said that 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...'" Harry started, keeping full eye contact with Hermione. As he was unfortunately expecting, her eyes got wide and tears started to fall.

"No, Harry, you don't mean that, d-do you?" she stammered out.

"Hermione…'Mione, please let me finish…" Harry said, picking up her hand and playing with her fingers. "The Prophecy said that I am his equal. That I have some power that he doesn't. That I can defeat him—only me." He started to caress her cheek with his other hand that was free.

"But, that's not just it. There's a bit more that I didn't want to tell anyone," he admitted, "The only way I can live, or rather he could live is if the other is dead. It's either him or me, 'Mione…"

She was at a loss of words. Just like in first year, her lip trembled and she threw her arms around Harry…although this time, he didn't resist. He only hugged her harder.

He could feel her sobbing against him and could soon feel the wetness of the tears through his school robe. "I can't fight fate, Hermione…" he mumbled into her hair, "But I don't want to leave you…"

can't wash it all away

can't wish it all away

can't cry it all away

can't scratch it all away

They both stopped hugging at the same time and they looked at each other. It was like magic. They didn't know who made the first move, but his lips were on Hermione's and they were sharing a truly passionate kiss. Her hands reached around his neck and his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. They weren't aware of time, space or matter. They only were aware of each other. A few moments were past and they broke apart, each regaining their composure and air.

Their hands joined again after their kiss and they looked longingly at each other. He rested his back against the cold stone wall of the tower and slid his body down to the ground, so he was sitting on the cold stone floor. He brought Hermione down with him. There was a perfect view of the ethereal moonlight and the starry sky. He turned toward her.

"Hermione, sweetheart…" Harry whispered in her ear, "If there was any chance of love for me left…it'd be you."

"Oh, Harry…please don't leave me…" Hermione said to him, "I want to be with you so much, yet it seems that everything is working against us."

"This isn't the greatest time for a love confession, is it?" Harry asked, smiling for the first time in weeks.

"No, I guess not, Harry…" she responded with a small smile. He leaned over and kissed her on the lips lightly once more.

"I'll do anything to be with you, Hermione. I love you so much," Harry whispered.

Hermione looked into his eyes and said the same. "Same to you, Harry…same to you…"

lying beside you

listening to you breathe

the life that flows inside of you

burns inside of me

hold and speak to me

of love without a sound

tell me you will live through this and I will die for you

cast me not away

say you'll be with me

for I know I cannot bear it all alone

They both comfortably put their backs against the wall and held each other for a long time until Hermione spoke up.

"Harry…"

"Yes, 'Mione," he replied, holding her tighter as they both gazed at the sky.

"Do you, do you think that you'll make it? That y-you'll kill him?" Hermione asked, trying to fight back little tears that wanted to fall.

Harry stopped breathing for a second and thought very carefully about his response to such a sensitive question.

"I hope so. I really do. But I care for your safety more than mine, Hermione," Harry started, "I-I'd die for you, Hermione. You know that?"

She started to cry again, but to Harry's surprise, she replied to him.

"I'd die for you, too, Harry. I'd die if you do…"

can't fight it all away

can't hope it all away

can't scream it all away

it just won't fade away…

Harry just smiled. It wasn't sad to him. He had just confessed his deepest feelings for his best-friend. 'At this point', he thought, 'nothing could get better'.

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?" she sleepily responded

"Stay up here with me?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course, Harry…" she whispered.

He bent down and kissed her again. He let her head rest on his warm chest and held her close as she slowly got more tired.

"Love you…" he whispered tenderly into her ear.

"I love you, Harry…" he heard from somewhere near his chest.

He leaned his head back, smiling, and closed his eyes to drift off into sleep.

"But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."
"Because I'll die if you do."