Hello again! So, second try to upload something... But now I've got a beta- reader so I hope removing won't happen again I didn't know my English was THAT bad that they just remove it... (Actually I read worse fics than this that hadn't been deleted....) So again to the plot: It's X and Zero, and it's yaoi, and my first try and anything (except for a Houshin Engi Fanfic...) Normally I write humour or parody stuff, guess I'm better at that than romance... anyway, Since I wasn't able to upload anything until now, I already wrote 3 more chapters... but they have to be beta-read first. Please review! It's X's POV.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's just another boring day at HQ. Nothing special happening or so I thought. I just decided to look for Zero to ask him go to the city or something when I hear a voice, a female voice. Iris. I shiver. I don't know why though. She didn't do anything to me but it seems that I'm not too pleased with her around. She's even a nice and polite girl. I don't tease her or anything like that like Zero always does, but I try to avoid her. I think Zero could be nicer to her, but all the same he was dating her. I just don't get it! She's been at HQ for half a year now, and she takes every single chance to get around him. Could that be what's bothering me? Because of her, I had less time with my best friend. Or maybe I'm just... jealous? I shake my head although nobody sees me anyway. He's just my best friend. And IF I'm jealous that's just fine. That's normal for friends. It's not like I'm in love or something right? I'm laughing loudly as if to prove the fact to myself. I suddenly stop. That was Zeros voice! I'm very quiet now. I don't want to spy, but I just can't help it...

"How about tonight? I know you're free Zero!" That was Iris... "No Iris, you're wrong! I'm so busy tonight you can't even imagine! You know... Paperwork and... stuff..."

It's so obvious he's got nothing to do tonight... Jeez, I'm actually feeling sorry for her. I know she likes Zero very much. But nevertheless, somehow Zero's answer calms me down. I think I can walk over to them now.

"Hey X!" Zeros face lights up as he sees me. I smile. "Hey Zero." "Hello X..." Iris doesn't sound very happy. "What's wrong?" That was just me! Why did I just say that?? I know pretty well what's up and I force her to tell it. On top, I don't really want to hear it... "Oh it's... nothing. Just Zero seems busy tonight..." "OH about THAT... hum... Screw that paperwork, let's go out!"

What?? Did Zero just say that?! My eyes widen. "But I thought – "I cut off myself. I couldn't say this or they knew I overheard them. Iris suddenly smiles, very wide.

"Oh Zero, really?? That's soooo wonderful!!! I'll be ready at seven!" She smiles even more, and then kisses him on the cheek. I suddenly feel the urge to shove her off of him... But she's already gone... I must have been in some kind of trance for a few seconds, because when I finally hear Zero call me he must have called already a couple of times.

"X?? Hello?? Can you hear me? What's wrong?" He's still smiling. "Hum. Er.. So you're going out with her tonight?" "Yes. Do you have a problem with that? Hey if you have something urgent to do tonight, just tell me and I cancel the date!"

There's something in his look I don't really know how to interpret. Could it be he wanted me to just say so? To provoke me? Hm. No, why should he? I rather think he's just making fun. His smile suddenly vanishes.

"Hey X, something wrong?" He kind of wakes me up with that. "AH Yes! I—I mean no! Everything's just fine! Haha...." I think I'm blushing. Better get going fast. "Sorry Zero... Lots of paperwork waiting for me. Alia will kill me if it's not done tomorrow... See ya..." and with this I'm rushing away, not daring to take another look at Zero.

Now I'm all alone again, in my room. It's 7:30. Zero must be out somewhere with Iris now. Hope they're having fun...or not? What's just going on with me? He's my best friend of course. But is it that bad he's spending time with her? Better take a walk. If I just stay here I'll eventually go crazy!

As I stride through the hallways and outside, I head straight for a little forest. I like this place. I often come here to think. I have some places no one knows except for Zero. I go there when I need to think, mostly after battles. As I walk on, I suddenly hear some rookies talk. Females, giggling and babbling. I really dislike that for some reason. Giggling girls. I don't know why...

"Yes, I'm telling you!! They kissed!!!" Ah, just great, they're talking about another girl they know and her date or something. Better get away... "Really??? I know Zero's known to get into bed with many girls, aw, he's just so adorable isn't he? But kissing?? I mean – wow! That's not just an affair then!"

I stop at once and nearly fall over by the sudden movement. Did they just talk about Zero? I just have to know... So I hide behind a tree and listen. Second time for spying on people today... Isn't one of my best days I guess... I hear another girl talk.

"If I'm telling you!! Iris herself told me! As we already know they're dating for a couple of months now and of course did it lots of times... and as well, kissed!" "Never!" the first girl replies. "Really! Last week! She couldn't believe it herself, she was just sooo happy! Oh it must be sooo great to have Zero as a boyfriend!" The girls all sighed.

That's too much! I run off. Off to one of those places nobody knows – except Zero. But he won't come anyway. Not today. Maybe never... Those girls were right. Zero was well known for his affairs and getting everyone laid who was willing to, and almost everybody was. No wonder, he sure is attractive... Handsome... Hey, what am I thinking??

For about 10 minutes I'm just standing there at the cliff. Then it just occurs to me. Who am I kidding? It's pretty obvious. It has been a long time now and I just didn't want to admit it to myself all along. I'm going crazy right now knowing Zero is with her at this very moment instead of being with me. And it's tearing my heart apart when I think of what I just heard.

They have kissed. It's right. Kissing is something else than, well, what Zero usually does. I don't like to think of that as well, but that's nothing that involves feelings. At least not necessarily. But kissing... You wouldn't kiss anyone you don't really love, would you Zero? I wouldn't... It's just so obvious. I fell in love with my best friend and I'm dying of the thought he's in love with... Iris... and they're together right now.

Suddenly I feel tears running down my cheeks. Great, now I'm even crying! I sit down at the edge and watch the sunset, silent tears still running. I don't care.

...

It's already dark now. What time might it be? I don't bother to check on it, I just don't care. The darkness is somehow soothing, like a blanket, that's giving me protection. And still... I'm feeling lonely... How many hours might have passed since I sat down here?

"Thinking again?" I turn around, frightened. Zero! Of course, nobody except him knows I'm going here...

"Zero...? How long have you – " "Long enough X." He sits down next to me. "Did something hap – did you cry?!" As he talks to me I look into his eyes, and mine still must be teary. Damn! Hastily I wipe them and try to laugh the fact away.

"Haha, me? Crying? Why should I? Guess I just got something in my eye!" "In both?" "Hum, yes!" Silence. "Ooookay then... I just pretend I believe you for now okay?" I know he doesn't but I'm thankful he's not going on that.

"X, why did you come here. What's wrong?" "Nothing." "Man X, I know you! You don't come here unless something's wrong!" "No, really, it's okay. I was just... Hum... Bored." "Really? What about all that paperwork?" "I lied." "YOU lied?? Now I'm sure something's wrong! You never lie!" "Oh Zero, really! Just let go okay? I DID have some paperwork to do! Really!"

At least, this wasn't a lie. I HAD paperwork to do but didn't do it anyway. I wouldn't lie, he's right...

"I thought you lied when you said that?" Zero looks pretty confused. So I continue to talk myself out of it somehow. "I just didn't want to hold you back from your date so I stated that paperwork stuff to leave you alone okay? Anyway, how was it?" Hey, I'm sounding really unconcerned! I'm proud of myself! Or better, I'm delighted my voice just didn't break in...

Zero shrugs. "Ohhhh so that's it! This leaving us alone stuff, talking nonsense... You're jealous right?" I cough. "What??" How could he figure that out so fast?? "Of course not!! Okay I admit I get a little few time with my best friend the last couple of months, but despite that – "

"You're jealous!" He's chuckling!! I can't believe this. Furious I get up. "If you can't be serious we don't need to talk about anything. If you don't want to tell me how your date with Iris went, my pleasure! I'm going to bed now! Good night Zero!" And with this I walk away, very quickly.

Damn, I think I even blushed when he mentioned that jealousy thing. But I'm sure he didn't notice; it's dark after all. However, I'm happy he didn't answer. I don't really want to know how their date was... I wonder if he's following me... I stop and turn around. No Zero anywhere. I sigh. "Ha, nobody cares for me anyway. Where I am, what I do. Nobody would notice if I just jump off that cliff..." Why am I saying that aloud? Nobody's here...

"What the hell are you talking about?" "GAHHHH!!!" I fall over, shocked. Zero must have appeared right behind me when I turned to see if he followed me. Now I'm sitting on the ground, my back hurting. "ZERO!!! Do you have to frighten me like that??"

"Sorry pal, I didn't know you were so jumpy." He offers me a hand and pulls me up. "I just thought it wasn't good for you to walk back to HQ alone at night. I could have been a maverick you know?" He's grinning. I will never really know him I guess... I sigh again.

"I'm fine okay? It's not like I never fought mavericks or suddenly was confronted with an unexpected situation." "Yeah, but as far as I remember I was always around to take care of you right?" "That's not true! Of course I had to deal some situations like that by myself!" "Like which? Name one." "AH, Zero, you're annoying! See, there's.... That one day at... No, you were there as well... But at... No... "

That's not true is it? Zero really has been around in such situations. In every single one! I can't believe it.

"Got me..." Zero smiles victorious. "So, and that's why I'm escorting you back to HQ straight into your room to make sure my best friends gets to sleep alright! C'mon!" I shiver as he puts his arm around me to guide me back. "Freezing?" "What? Err.... N- no, just... oh forget it..." I lower my head. This can't just be my life, can it?

...

"Okay... Hum... Thanks... I guess..." We're at my room. I wonder why the way had to be that short when he removes his arm from my shoulders. "Good night, X!" He turns to leave. "And remember; don't walk around at night when I'm not around, k?" I look at him. "Promise!" He suddenly has a strangely serious look on his face. I don't even dare to contradict. "I promise. Good night Zero." He smiles and walks away.

As I fall down on my bed I try to think of what had happened this day. It was all so confusing. I don't want to think about it any more and try to sleep. But I can't...