The ZADR Parody

...That's a ZADR. The only one and official full-length feature story ZADR! There's been so many short parodies, but this is a FULL story, which will actually be updated, because I enjoy these things. For ZADR-haters and lovers. I LOVE ZADR, peoples, so take no offense, just enjoy. Also take no offense I am aware alot of things in this fiction were in ALOT of other fanfics that are actually very good, but I had to parody these things because they get redundent. I am in no way insulting the actual GOOD authors that write things with storylines such as this. I'm really parodying the people who can't write for crap and things I just think are stupid and over-done.

Chapter 1. I Was SUPPOSED To Save You...

Dib Membrane was walking through the rainy streets of a Symbolic-Represented-American-City I will now dub Americanasville. No one else was out except the random hobos sitting around.

His trenchcoat whipped behind him, he still wears that y'know. Except now he's grown, and he's sexy. He's 17 now, y'know. You'd think after 17 years of living he'd realize his last name is NOT Membrane...

...Oh well. Anyways, for some reason Dib was depressed so instead of just walking to his dorm (he's about to turn 18, in college now...) he decided to walk down a random alley.

Very smart of Dib.

He ventured down the alley, he wasn't really lost, but I think he was trying to get himself lost.

'Not like anyone would want to save me anyways... they all hope I die..' Dib thought all ANGSTY as he reached into his trenchcoat pocket about to put on some emo glasses then realized he was already wearing some.

Suddenly, some bullies pop out of a random TRASHCAN. Yes, a TRASHCAN! They grabbed Dib by his shirt collar and slammed him against the alleys brick wall.

Dib looked quite calm.

"GIVE ME YOUR MONIES." the "leader" bully screamed.

Dib just yawned,

"Maybe later."

"Don't play smart, or you'll have to answer to this!" the bully said, sticking his hand down Dib's pants feeling around.

Dib was sent into shock, and kicked the bully off of him onto the opposite wall in the alley, he flipped over kinda of cool like and landed neatly on the ground.

"Dude! I will give you a dollar or something later, no reason to go and RAPE ME, I'm kind of depressed and BROODING right now!" Dib said. The bullies stared at Dib.

"My, my, what a predicament we have gotten ourselves in, Dib- human..." a mysterious voice from behind them said. They all turned around as they saw a figure slink out of the shadows.

"ZIM!" Dib said.

"Yes, it is I, stink-beast." ZIM said, coming out from the shadows completely to show his alien-figure. NOW TIME FOR A VERY LONG DESCRIPTION OF HOW SEXY ZIM HAS GOTTEN. I mean, no one cares about how sexy Dib has gotten, all they ever say is he still wears his trenchcoat, is older, and taller. But they all care about ZIM, so here we go, FOR THE PEOPLE!: ZIM was wearing tight letter pants, that showed a nice view of his ass, which we all know Dib wanted to fuck silly but he was in denial. But that's not important right now. Or wait, it is, isn't it? That's all you want to hear. Forget actual PLOT-POINTS and character-devolpement you just want to see them screw.

I don't blame you.

Anyways, as I was saying ZIM was very sexy. His hair was now scraggly and not Elvis-Eseque. He wore his normal Invader-t-shirt, but now wore long- sleeves under it and some sexy-tight gloves. Woah.

He had a CD player in his pocket and liked ROCK 'N ROLL and PUNK ROCK. I never thought ZIM would like ANY music but now he does.

Ever notice how ZIM or Dib ALWAYS like the same bands the author likes?

What? You don't. Well you should start noticing...

Though seriously, the author of this fic likes Dave Matthews Band. Can't you see ZIM dancing around singing "CRASH INTO ME" or "EVERYDAY"? K. Maybe you can't but I can. PIIICKKK ME UP LOVE, EVERYDAY...LA LA...

K so he also wore Hot Topic boots, lots of zippers and crap that you didn't know what were for.

The bully eyed ZIM sarcastically as he picked Dib back up and slammed him against the wall.

"K I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE. You just don't wanna make peace and be all like King George so forget this we're going to WAR!" Dib said as he, once again, kicking the bully. The other bullies in the gang started to attack him and he fended them all off.

ZIM stared in amazement.

"Hey, uh..."

KICK!

"Do you.. uh.."

PUNCH!

"...Need my.."

SLAM!

"...Help?"

Dib did a freaky karate kick and kicked one of the bullies' balls. The bully grabbed his crotch and fell over.

"Nah. WOAH ZIM LOOK OUT!" Dib screamed.

ZIM turned behind him to see a bully punch him on the head and knock ZIM unconscience.

"...STUPID." Dib said as he started running towards the bully full force, tackling him over and punching him several times until he was passed out cold.

Dib looked around the ally to see all the other bullies, indeed, passed out cold.

"Hmmm.... OH CRAP. ZIM. You know, I'm supposed to get this fiction off to a do-goody start and take care of ZIM but you see I'm lazy." Dib said as he picked ZIM up and carried him to the Emergency Room.