DISCLAIMER: Goobly Gop! I live in a shoebox give me a break.

Pickles... Don't you love 'em, because I know I do! Well anywho I AM THE MOST POWERFUL WIZARD IN THE WORLD!!!! Wait, hold on a second... checks genitals Excuse me WITCH IN THE WORLD MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!

"What in the bloody hell are you talking about?"

"Shut up Steve!"

"And who the hell is Steve?"

"Erm... Sorry Severus. I tend to call you Steve when I fantasize about you in the shower, I MEAN No. no I don't fantasize about you at all....."

SEVERUS stares with wide SEXY eyes and runs away CRYING or PINING for the HEADMASTER.

"Well I must say that went well." I'm smiling proudly with hands on my voluptuous hips, cape billowing in the wind. Cheesy super hero music is playing in the background, yes life is good. UNTIL... dramatic pause Just kidding life is still good, or is it? Oh geebus I don't even know anymore! Dammit now I have to jump in the stupid volcano. Wait, what am I talking about, I can't leave Steve... uh I mean Severus, he would be heartbroken everyone knows I'm the center of his being! The love of his life, the cream cheese on his bagel, the...

"NO YOU ARE NOT!"

"Uh, Severus how long have you been standing there?"

"The whole time, tell me were you making this up as you went along or have you planned a bit?"

"Uh, I have no idea what you are smutting about..."

"Did you just say 'smutting'?"

"...No.."

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"YES you did, look four lines up and you can read your own idiocy!"

"That wasn't me..."looks around IT WAS HIM! points at a potted plant

"You're daft woman."

To be continued .... No, probably not, so I wouldn't get your hopes up. Sorry kids! hands out Slytherin lollipops