Rating: G
Summary: Dumbledore and McGonagoll unite to send Snape and Black to Wizard Anger Management and Control classes. Very light-hearted.
Note: Post OotP. Sirius is still alive. Voldemort has been defeated – but that has nothing to do with this.
'You both know why I have summoned you here,' Dumbledore said with glittering eyes, 'do you not?'
'Dumbledore, what is this idiocy? Where has your latest mood taken you?' Snape snapped.
'Severus, stay calm, please. Minerva has told me about your countless and endless arguments – that I have witnessed myself, I must add. We both feel that you perhaps have some – anger – in you, and need to get it out,' he paused and observed the scowling pair, 'So we have bought you admission into WAMC classes.'
Snape looked perplexed but Black jumped up with a fresh glower, 'Dumbledore, you cannot make me go there!'
'Oh, but my dear young man, it is good for you. For both of you.'
'Dumbledore! No! I refuse. And moreover, I refuse to go with Snivellus!'
'Ah yes, the fond nicknames,' Dumbledore intoned. Snape was so furious with both that he did not know where to turn.
'What is this folly?' he managed to spit.
'Wizard Anger Management and Control,' Black said dully, 'Dumbledore, no. I will not go.'
'All up to you, of course, my dear gentlemen,' Dumbledore smiled widely back, 'however, considering Minerva and I have already bought you admission, you might find two not extremely gentle wizards sweeping down on you. I will leave you to decide. Good day.' He got up and walked briskly out of the Staff Room, humming softly to himself.
The pair leave behind were speechless with fury.
'I won't go. I refuse to go,' Snape said finally, smoothing down his robes and making for the exit.
'Oh, get a life, Snivellus. If you don't go two very harsh wizards – or perhaps witches – will make you. You decide which is better for your snotty pride. I am going to go ask Minerva just how many sessions they paid for.' He looked at Snape, wondering whether he should wish him a good day (as they recently had taken to saying frostily) and decided against. He left, slamming the door, which yelled 'Manners!' after him.
With wrath like never before, he got up and followed Black.
O
'Two.'
'What! Minerva, why? WHY?'
'Oh, Sirius, calm down. You and Severus have to sort out your differences.' Snape stopped shortly and listened.
'What do you mean, sort our differences? Our differences cannot be sorted.'
'You two climbed the wrong tree.'
'What?' Black asked incredulously.
'The wrong tree, Sirius, the wrong tree.'
'I heard you but I completely miss your meaning. Talk in English.'
'You walked down the wrong lane.'
'Miner- oh, I give up. I don't care if we climbed the wrong tree, walked down the wrong lane, or swam down the wrong river. That's not the point. The point is, Minerva, is that neither of us want to go, and that you and Dumbledore have been incredibly rash in suggesting we do.'
'Don't you see, Sirius? You two have already agreed on one thing. Now, be a good boy and go,' she smiled, 'I'm not taking my money back. And trust me – it costs a fortune.'
'Have I reached a dead end?' he said dejectedly and somewhat fondly.
'Yes, Sirius,' she patted his shoulder, 'just go. It's only two sessions.'
'Make it one and I'll go quietly.'
'No. You'll go quietly anyway, you know you will. You've got your pride to lose. To have all of Hogwarts knowing you're going to WAMC or a little secret between us four? You'll go quietly.'
'You'll be the death of me, Minerva, you know that?'
'Likewise, my dear boy, likewise. Now go, I have papers to mark.' Snape clenched his fists and walked quickly to the dungeons.
'Good day, Minerva,' Black said as he walked out.
'You too, Sirius.'
Feedback? If this is popular, I will continue it. The next chapter will be the first session of WAMC. Enjoy.
Lady Agatha