DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, nor the Lord of the Rings.
REVIEWS: Thanks to stasa for her reviews.
Well my beta cannot help me to correct the fic because her computer's damaged. So if anyone else wants to offer for the job, I'd gladly accept it!
NEED
By:
Anne( v )79
Chapter XVIV:
Vulnerable
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength
Corrie Ten Bom
Her hair was tight in a high bun. Her face was emotionless. She looked drained. She followed the Fellowship as its last member. When she had arrived, the hobbit's curiosity of her wereabouts was stopped by the blanc and empty stare she had given them. They did not dare to speak. No one could blame them. Her appearance had disturbed the haflings and worried the rest of the Fellowship's members.
Her face had been deadly pale. Her wet hair moving slightly in her shoulders. Her clothes were as wet as her hair. But no one dared asking what had happened to the slayer. She had silenced them fast with one stare. Not even the elf who had been looking for her everywhere after she had left him, seemed wanting to demand any anwsers. His heart had been shut down by the cool icy stare she had directed him.
It was as if something that had comed with the memories, had finished by destroying whatever she had left of her bruised heart. She moved slowly, paying attention for every sound. She had tightened up her hair as she had arrived to the Fellowship's company. She did not bother changing her damped clothes. A shilly wind made the whole group shiver. She pulled up her hood.
"Stay close, young Hobbits! They say that a great sorceress lives in these woods, an Elf-witch, of terrible power. All who look upon her, fall under her spell...and are never seen again" She heard the dwarf saying ahead of her. She shook her head, letting some light straps of hair loosen up and falling in her face. She finally heard a sound she was waiting to hear. But the fellowship ahead of her did not hear. Not even the elf.
"Dwarf" She heard the soft of deadly warning from the elf.
"Well, here is one Dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!" The swarf continued without paying attention to the warnings. As consequence an arrow, notched, appeared before his face.
In a second other bows at the ready appeared around the Fellowship. Legolas had his own bow out, pointing it at the owners of the other weapons. The Fellowship looked around, alarmed, all but the last figure.
"The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark" A golden haired elf said. He then walked closer to the company. "Mae govannen, Legolas Thranduilion" He greeted.
"Govannas vîn gwennen le, Haldir o Lórien" Legotas answered softly, bowing his head slightly. The march warden of the Golden Woods then turned to Aragorn.
"A, Aragorn in Dúnedain istannen le ammen" He greeted courtly.
"Haldir" He answered.
"So much for the legendary courtesy of the Elves! Speak words we can also understand!" Gimli yelled terribly annoyed.
"We have not had dealings with the Dwarves since the Dark Days" The marchwarden said dryly.
"And you know what this Dwarf says to that? Ishkhaqwi ai durugnul!" The dwarf said growing angrier by the second.
"That was not so courteous" Aragorn muttered with a small smile.
"You bring great evil with you" Haldir said not paying attention to the dwarf's comment. "You can go no further" Aragorn approached with Legolas to Haldir.
"Boe ammen veriad lîn. Andelu i ven!" Aragorn hushed angrily.
"We cannot take you with us" Haldir whispered softly.
"That's bullshit and you know it Hal!" A strong known voice said harshly. "Is this the way you guys greet foreigners?"
"My Lady" Haldir said with his eyes opened wide, his head bowing sightly at Buffy who had pulled down her hood and walked towards him with a stern look on his face. "Sut Del'...?"
"It would be best not to speak a language not everybody can speak" She said softly. His eyebrows frowned at her appearance.
"You shall come with us, Galadriel, the Lady of Light will determine your fate in this realm" He concluded as he directed himself to the whole Fellowship. "Follow us" Haldir stated simply. He went closer to Buffy and he took his light coat and put it over her shoulders without demanding her permission. This did not go unnoticed to the Mirkwood elf. "You are wet" He said as they begun walking with the scort of soldiers.
"I know" She said softly.
"What has happened?" He asked.
"Too many things in a short time..." She answered. "Mithrandir fell" She muttered.
"It is a great lost" He said comfortably laying a hand on her small frame. "But you know I didn't-" He was interrupted by her empty stare. "You worry me" He confessed.
"Don't... it's not worth it" She finished her eyes glancing ahead of her. "We're here" She announced softly. Haldir turned to look at the rest of the Fellowship.
"Caras Galadhon...the heart of Elvendom on earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and of Galadriel, Lady of Light" He announced as they entered into the glowing citadel.
"Your home is beautiful Buffy" Pippin said as he approached her giving her a wide smile. She did not have the heart to deny his definition of her "home".
They ascended to be greeted by the Lady and Lord of the Realm. They stood all lined up being watched by the Lords of Lothlorien. The strangers to the realm tried to absorve as much beauty as they could.
"The Enemy knows you have entered here. What hope you had in secrecy is now gone. Nine there are here, yet ten there were, set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf?" Lord Celeborn asked breaking the silence.
"He has fallen into the Shadows" Buffy said loud enough for everyone to hear. Galadriel gave her a worried glance.
"He was taken by both Shadow and Flame: a Balrog of Morgoth" Legolas extended. "For we went needlessly into the net of Moria" Gimli's head gazed full with guilt the floor.
"Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life. We do not yet know his whole purpose. Do not let the great emptiness of Khazad-dûm fill your heart, Gimli, son of Glóin." Galadriel said consoling. "the world has grown full of peril. And in all lands, love is now mingled with grief"
"As it has been always" Buffy said loudly. Galadriel's glance fixed in the slayer.
"Heril en' Noste, oom onin dosstan a' morin forie enta" The voice of the Lady of Light sounded in Buffy's mind only. "Eller sa calim iale nonar i re' caela methed"
"What now becomes of this Fellowship? Without Gandalf, hope is lost" Celebron announced fatalist. Buffy smiled bitterly. She noticed the Lady of Light glancing at each member of the Fellowship with a lot of atention.
"The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all" She determined at last. She looked at Buffy as though to see through the slayer's apparently dead eyes. "Yet hope remains while the company is true" She continued glancing particulary at Sam, who unlike some memebers of the Fellowship could hold the Lady's stare. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace" She smiled and walked directly to Buffy as the Fellowship started to gather to leave.
"Buffy are you coming?" Pippin asked as he saw the slayer not walking with them.
"I..I need to discuss some matters with the Lady... I will go later to your ... chambers" Buffy replied absently. Legolas gave her one last curious glance as he descended the stairs.
"You are motive of many worried minds Lady" Galadriel said after her husband had excused himself, and they were left to themselves.
" I know..." The slayer said emotionless.
"Would you mind walking with me?" The Lady of light asked politely.
"Can't you make a conversation without wandering off in your gardens?" The slayer asked dryly. The elven lady limited to smile and led her to her personal gardens.
"What did you see?"Galadriel asked.
"What did I see where?"The slayer asked.
"I am aware of your dreams slayer" The queen replied with the same tone. "I am aware of the flashes you get from your former life.. some of your future also"
"It comes with the slayer's package" The slayer muttered. A cold breeze reminded the slayer the state of her still wet clothings. "I think we should leave this conversation for another time Galadriel..." She said as she motioned her clothing.
"You know where to find me Heril en' Noste" The Lady of Light said giving her a last worried glance. "Do not push away those who want to reach your heart Lady Audial"
"The problem is.. I don't think I have a heart to reach anymore" The slayer finished as she stepped off the clearing.
She hurried to her old chambers. As she found the main door closed she sneeked in by one of the windows. Her throat was filled with a knot. And she controled the urges of crying. She washed herself quickly as she could and used one of her old dresses. She saw a small note. She had been expecting something of the sort.
Mellon,
After you rest I would like to see you… there's someone you should know.
Ellian.
A small smile graced her lips. She left her chambers, before she'd go to the Fellowship, she would made a little detour. As she arrived the talan of her friend she knocked softly. She heard hurried steps going to the door. And it opened, the slayer was received by the welcoming arms of Ellian. And Buffy felt another round belly.
"You are pregant again?" she asked shocked and the mother to be smiled widely.
"Oh yes!" She replied. "I am so glad you are back"
"How much time do you...?"
"Five months" The mother announced. "But enough of this, there's someone I would like you to meet" Ellian said grinning, avoiding to show how she noticed the tired and almost dead eyes of the slayer. One of the many things Buffy had teached her was that happiness, like some diseases is absolutely contagious. They entered in a version of a nursery. They did not cross anyone in the road. Ellian went directly to the crib and carefully pulled up the baby in it. The slayer saw with saddened thoughts the tender look Ellian gave to her baby. She tried brushing away the feeling, but she only managed to brush it to the back of her mind. "This is my baby... I've waited for you to name him"
"F-For me?" The slayer stuttered surprised.
"Rumil and I have chosen you as his Malirn" The she-elf said approaching to the slayer with the small bundle of life in her arms.
"A-As his Malirn?"
"Really Aduial, you seem to not understand of what I speak" Her friend teased.
"I d-do" The slayer muttered. "I just don't understand why?...why?"
"I thought it was obvious!" She answered chucking. "You would be his protector in case of Rumil's or my abscense"
"I can't be his guardian... it is ridiculous" The slayer said stepping back. "Is this a twisted joke?" The slayer muttered with her eyes wide open.
"Mellon.. I did not mean any offense by it" Ellian replied quickly her eyesbrown frowned worriedly. "Are you alright?"
"I'll problably die before he can walk!" Buffy cried. "What a wonderful protector would I make!"
"Aduial-"
"Stop calling me by that name!"The slayer interrupted abruptly. Both she-elf and slayer stayed in silence. "Sorry..." The slayer muttered at last. "I just.. I don't think this would be a very good idea"
"I understand A-Buffy" Ellian said softly. "Would you like for us to talk?" She asked letting the baby in her crib. "Maybe you would feel better..."
"Maybe some other time.. I need to clear my thoughts" Buffy said leaving the nursery. She opened the main door quickly and before saying goodbye she heard the she-elf's voice.
"You worry me"
"I'm sorry" She muttered fleeing from the talan. She just wanted to be bak to her chambers. She wanted to leave this place. She wanted to be back in Sunnydale.
"A Olórin i yaresse…
Mentaner i Numeherui
Tírien i Rómenóri…
Melme nóren sina
núra ala
Eäro…
Buffy heard the laments of the elves around. She did not dare to continue and stayed in one of the gardens, sitting alone in the shadows. She closed her eyes slowly, taking in all she heard and felt surrounding her. The felt the voices of the elves slowly fade away.
"This place's so beautiful Buffy" Her eyes snapped opened. She could have sworn she heard Willow's voice. She looked around, for the presence of the red headed witch. She sighed as she found nobody.
" I thought you would go visiting the rest of your crew" Haldir said as he entered into the gardens.
"I want to be alone Hal" She mumbled.
"May I ask if your troubles concern the prince of Mirkwood?" He asked directly. She glanced at him. "I have never been close to the Prince, not particulary..." He explained. ".. but we have never argued... his behavior has changed dramatically as he noticed our particular relationship... he might have misunderstood our friendship"
"Him and I... we are not involved if that's what you are asking" She muttered leaning her head in the palms of her hands. "..not anymore at least"
" I do not need to tell you-"
"If you've comed to preach me, don't... just don't" She interrupted frustrated.
"I am your friend over all Buffy..." He replied softly. "I believe you are as you say.. a big girl I don't need you to preach you as you think" He stared at the small frame worried. "What has happened to you?" He asked. "...the little hope you had gained during your residence in here, you have lost it entirely"
"I did not loose hope as you say" She hissed dryly. She stood up. "I just remembered what I am... I'm not going to get some ridiculous ideas just because... I have to be realistic" She turned and hurried herself out of the gardens... She stopped suddenly as she heard the horns of the city... Caras Galadhon was being attacked.
He had heard the horns as so had the rest of the Fellowship. He questioned Aragorn with a stare and the ranger agreed to colaborate in the citadel's attack. Gimli went with them and so did Boromir. They had managed to convince the halfings to stay behind, a task Pippin and Merry did not seem to apreciate fondly.
The crew followed some guards they had found in the gardens. It seemed that the citadel was being attacked by not only orcs and humans as it was used to. But also a Balrog. No body understood how a Balrog had managed to go out in the surface.
They found the slayer already giving instructions to some of the soldiers. She looked outstanding with her navy blue dress. Legolas had to swallow his feelings as they approached to Haldir and Buffy.
"I'll take him!" They heard the slayer hissing. "You take care of the orcs and the humans"
"That would be suicide" Aragorn said announcing their presence. The slayer just rolled her eyes.
"We should get going" Haldir said. He commanded some orders and he mounted his stallion. Buffy took her own and demanded to an elf to brign some others for the Fellowship members. All but Gimli apreciated her efforts.
"If you want Gimli, you may come with me" She offered and he nodded uncertain. He went up her black stallion.
"Now hold on... we are late" Buffy said before starting leaving without a word the rest of the fellowship members waiting for their stallions. As she arrived to the milicy's gathering. "You think you can stay here without killing any elves?" She muttered to the dwarf behind her. He nodded quickly and jumped off the stallion. She smiled. "Don't get killed Gimli" She recommended, before galloping forward. She stopped as she saw with her kin eyes at far the orcs advancing. There were no signs of a Balrog. She returned to the elves gathering point.
There seemed to be a big fuzz over something. She aproached to the center of the issue.
"We told you not to leave the chambers" She heard Aragorn saying.
"We are not children!" She heard Merry snapping. She descended from her horse and broke through her way to the middle of the conversation.
"You should not be here!" Boromir preached.
"We are part of the Fellowship!" Pippin said. "We might as well help!" He said glaring at the human lords.
"I think it would be convenient for them" Buffy interrupted. She saw Aragorn who was about to refute her words. "Like it or not, they are with us... it might be well for them to practice a bit"
"Practice?" Legolas scoffed. She looked directly into his eyes with surprise. "War is no practice for them, if they make a mistake... they will pay it with their lives.. or worse with the rest of Middle Earth"
"They will do fine! They will not screw things up" She exclaimed convinced. "They did well enough in Moria didn't they?" At this Pippin and Merry nodded wildly.
"If we forget who was the one who warned the orcs we were there..." Boromir snapped glancing at Pippin. The hobbit in question blushed deep red.
"They would have found out eventually" Buffy replied. "I give them my permission to fight... I will make sure they stay alive" She said sternly. "The only person who can denie me my permission is no longer alive... so you will just have to deal with it because the orcs are getting closer... we don't have time to loose any longer"
The elven soldier aligned. The fellowship mixed with the rest of the elves. She got her place between both hobbits.
"Don't worry we won't let you down" Merry muttered as they waited for the attack.
"If something comes up... run" She muttered back. "I don't want any hero acting.. run"
The orcs arrived.
Buffy quickly went in the front killing as many creatures she could. After twenty minutes of intense fighting the orcs kept coming... humans had appeared here and there. No Balrog. She was growing worried. She had been cut by an arrow on her side. She watched the Haflings when she could. They were still alive. Fighting and kicking.
As she stabbed her sword in an orc's chest she felt her heart's thumbing loudly in her ears. She turned and watched the hobbits who were doing still fine. Then she saw the Balrog who walked soundly taking trees down at each step. She made her way through the mass of people. She stabbed here and there, she slashed, she kicked and punched until she saw him clearly. And then a short vision of Ori's own Balrog a shill went down her spine.
Vengance...
The word flew into her mind.
Take it it's yours...
The whistle-like voice glissed in her ears softly. She pulled out her other sword and went straight to the creature of fire. She understood almost inmediately she could not fight it off as easily as an orc. The creature was made of fire, her skin should be prefereably not touching it. She tried slashing the balrog's abdomen to find she could not hurt him. The creature slammed a hammer-like stick he had in her frame. She was trown far away from him. As she stood up stumbling she saw the creature slamming his weapon wildly, not differencing orcs from elves. The Eldar started to retreat. The Balrog continued to swing his weapon.
You can do it...
She saw the hobbits running towards a group of Eldar, they hit orcs here and there to make their way. She heard Haldir screaming at her to retreat with the rest of them. She saw Legolas shooting at the orcs near her. She made her way easily.
Open up your soul slayer...
She managed to hit the hammer looking weapon with her sword splitting it in two. The Balrog threw the rest of his weapon away. He focused for the first time only on her. He tossed a ball of fire directly at her. She rolled on the group to avoid being hit by it. She was running out of options.
Wish for his death...
The voice was not helping. She could not perfectly focus to in the Balrog. She was getting sloppier. The last ball of fire had managed to bruise her. She still heard the shouts of the elves. Of the fellowship.
Taste it...
She remembered of Ori. As he fell. Slowly. Her eyes glared with hatred at the Balrog. She ran towards him at full force. She wanted him -the Balrog- dead.
Long for it...
The Balrog managed to throw two balls of fire at full speed, one managed to hit straight in the chest at Buffy. Everyone feared the worst as she was tossed into a tree. Her beautiful dress now completely ruined. Her fingers moved slowly, as in slow motion. She tried raising but it was too painfull. Her ribbs hurt, her legs hurt... Her whole body hurt. She felt her mind growing numb by the second. She raised again leaving behind her pain... she left everything behind. The orcs felt the change in her... they backed off filled with fear. The Balrog stopped walking towards the elves. He focused on her again. The elves all felt darkness feeling the air as thick as steel. A shill went into everybody's eyes. Buffy's forme walked slowly a few steps. She opened her eyes. They were blood red.
"Eller sa calim iale nonar i re' caela methed": There is light even after the day has ended.
A Olórin i yaresse… "(Olórin who once was…)
Mentaner i Numeherui (Sent by the Lords of the West)
Tírien i Rómenóri… (To guard the Lands of the East…)
Melme nóren sina (Our love for this land)
núra ala (Is deeper than the deeps)
Eäro… (Of the sea…)
I am posting a new story, it's been in my head for some weeks now and I want to try it. If you are an HP/ Buffy fan... it might interest you.