A/N – Er...hey...miss me:grins weakly: Yeah...been a bit busy lately...but between homework, tests, family, computer problems, homework, school 'til four, five, or six every night, and, oh yes, homework, I really haven't had all that much time to write. Then there was the small problem of losing the beginning of the chapter, and having complete computer shutdown...but, all excuses aside, I"M SORRY: ( I really, really am. But anyways, here it is, the long-expected, long-awaited...Valentine's Day chapter! Yay: )
IMPORTANT - Two quick things I want to say before you read this chapter – anyone remember Lily anymore? No, didn't think so…well, she's the fluffy white dragon that Sirius and James somehow managed to create back in chapter 5. And this chapter takes place on February 13th (the day before Valentine's Day). Thanks sooo much for your patience (Patience, you say? What patience? ;)), and hope you enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 23
February 13th
"Brilliant." said Sirius proudly, stepping back and crossing his arms to admire his handiwork. Peter edged around him, frowning in confusion.
"Um, Sirius?" he said cautiously, furrowing his eyes, "It doesn't look any different."
"The wards are invisible, Peter." said Remus patiently, before Sirius could respond. "You can't see them."
"Are you sure?" said Peter, looking between Sirius and the door. "The ward I cast on the snack stash wasn't."
"That's because you did it wrong and set the stash on fire." said Sirius, giving the door one last, appreciative glance before bounding over to Remus' trunk. "The many-talented Sirius Black, however, does not mess up. Remus, where's the spare parchment?"
"Would it be asking too much to have you use your own parchment for once?" asked Remus, wincing slightly as Sirius dug through his trunk, tossing robes and textbooks aside haphazardly.
"Among the Marauders, Remus, possessions are universal." said Sirius haughtily, finally yanking out a rather crumpled piece of parchment. "Perfect…now for a quill…"
"Does that mean I can borrow your set of gobstones, then?" asked Peter hopefully.
"No. Where's the big eagle feather, Remus, the chewy one...?"
"Bottom left corner." said Remus resignedly. Sirius pulled it out, looking triumphant.
"Brilliant." He flopped down onto Remus' bed, yanking Remus' battered and dog-eared copy of Magical Drafts and Potions towards him and laying the parchment down on it with a flourish. "Alright – time to write some love poetry."
ooooo
Your hair is as bright as a shiny new quaffle
Your eyes are like green pits of slime
Sirius paused and looked up. "What rhymes with quaffle?"
"Waffle?" offered Peter, who was sitting at the foot of his bed, looking thoroughly confused as Remus tried to explain to him their Transfiguration homework.
"I like waffles." mused Sirius thoughtfully, sucking the end of the quill. "But the question is, how do they do they apply to Lily?"
Remus glanced up from the notes that were spread out across Peter's bed. "James is going to kill you for this, you know."
"Nah, he won't know it was me." said Sirius dismissively. "I'm going to blame Peter."
"What!" yelped Peter, looking a bit frightened. "But I didn't –"
"You came up with 'waffle.'" reminded Sirius, brandishing his quill remonstratingly at him. "So, how does this sound – 'your hair is as bright as –'"
"SIRIUS!"
"'– a shiny new quaffle,' " continued Sirius, appearing thoroughly unconcerned by the loud banging coming from outside their door, "'Your eyes are like green pits of slime…,'"
"How long are you planning on locking James out?" asked Remus, staring with mild interest at the large wooden door, which was now rattling slightly as James continued to pound on it.
"Until I finish this."
"That long?" asked Peter anxiously.
Sirius glared at him. "Poetry is a science, Peter." he said, lowering his voice dramatically. "It is not quite as easy as I make it seem…"
Remus snorted. "You've been working on it for two hours, Sirius."
"Well, you try writing a love poem to Evans." said Sirius peevishly. "There's nothing good to say about her!"
"You haven't seemed to mind insulting her so far." said Remus, stretching. "Now can we please open the door; I'm starting to get a headache…"
"And let James in? No. And, for your information, my poem is lovely and complimenting. Quaffles are red, her hair is red. Slime is green, her eyes are green. They're beautiful whatever-you-call-em's."
"Metaphors?"
"Exactly. Beautiful, romantic metaphors."
"Right."
"Well, you try then!" said Sirius, annoyed. He wadded up the piece of parchment and threw it at Remus – Remus ducked, grinning, and it went soaring past his head, colliding with Lily's cage, which was perched precariously on the edge of a spare chair. Lily it seemed, had been attempting to sleep, and with a furious squawk she woke up, batting her wings furiously against her cage and screeching indignantly. Sirius winced, covering his ears with his hands and glaring at her. "Annoying, screechy, useless…" His voice trailed off suddenly, and then, without warning, he bounded off of Remus' bed, dashing over to Lily's cage.
"Um, Sirius?" asked Peter nervously, watching with wide eyes as Sirius stuck his hand into Lily's cage, trying to wrest the scrap of parchment from her, "What exactly are you doing?"
"What – does it look – like I'm doing!" hissed Sirius, his eyes narrowed as he grappled furiously with Lily, who had somehow managed to get the parchment stuck in her mouth and was whipping her head about furiously, screeching shrilly and biting down sharply on Sirius' hand when he tried to grab it from her. "I – ouch! – am trying – to get the parchment – argh! – away from – the bloody dragon!"
Remus rolled his eyes. "Accio parchment." Now looking sorely woe-begotten, the soggy, balled-up beginning of Sirius' poem obediently wrenched itself free of Lily's mouth and soared lifelessly into Remus' hand. Remus wrinkled his nose, staring at it with obvious disgust.
"Stupid…brainless… annoying… dra- where'd the parchment go?" Sirius stared around in obvious bewilderment, forgetting to pull his hand out of Lily's cage and yelping as Lily sunk her teeth into it again. Remus sighed.
"Many-talented genius, hmm?" he said, flinging the squelchy, foul-smelling wad of parchment at Sirius and looking very glad to be rid of it.
"Many-talented dragon-slaying genius." corrected Sirius loftily, making a great show of wrapping his apparently bleeding right hand in James' spare Montrose Magpies' pillowcase.
Remus, clearly deciding it was better not to say anything to this, looked out the window and began to hum under his breath, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Peter, however, stared at Sirius in confusion. "Doesn't slay mean kill?" he asked uncertainly. Remus let out a snort of laughter which quickly turned into a suspicious-sounding bout of coughing – Sirius ignored both of them and, flopping down next to Peter, laid down the parchment and began to scribble furiously.
"Done!" he said triumphantly, jumping to his feet. "I – agh!" He lost his balance, and, arms flailing wildly, toppled off of Peter's bed. "I'm done with it!" he finished brightly, rubbing his head where he had bashed it against Remus' still-open trunk. "Want to hear it?"
"No, not really." yawned Remus. Peter, however, was wringing his hands anxiously.
"You didn't use waffle, did you?" he asked worriedly. Sirius smirked.
"Being the incredibly talented poetic genius that I am…no."
"Oh, good." said Peter, sounding relieved. "Then you aren't going to blame me?"
"Did I say that?" asked Sirius indignantly. "Of course I'm still going to blame you…now, do you want to hear it or not?" Remus and Peter glanced at each other – a moment later they leapt simultaneously from the bed towards the door, a look of mutual resolve on their faces.
"Petrificus totalus!" said Sirius, sounding rather annoyed. Both fell to the ground with a crash – flipping over Peter, who had fallen flat on his face, Sirius hopped up onto the nearest bed and, clearing his throat, began to read. "'Your hair is as red as a shiny new quaffle…'"
ooooo
"You didn't let me in last night because you were studying for an astronomy test?" said James disbelievingly, his eyes narrowed as he gazed over the flagon of orange juice at Sirius and Peter. "We don't have an astronomy test until next month."
"We don't?" said Peter blankly.
"No," said James, turning his head to glare at Remus, who was sitting next to him, "We don't." Remus shrugged.
"Don't look at me, it was his idea." he yawned, waving a half-buttered piece of toast at Sirius.
"What was his idea!" asked James impatiently. Remus opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by Sirius.
"Nothing, nothing." said Sirius airily, glaring covertly at Remus. "Nothing you won't, ah, find out in a minute or so…"
"But I thought we're having an astronomy test next week!" said Peter anxiously, his face turning slightly green. Everyone ignored him.
"Have I mentioned," continued James, his voice becoming somewhat muffled as he stuffed a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, "That I really don't like any of you?"
"Yep," said Sirius cheerfully, looking upwards as hundreds of owls streamed into the Great Hall.
"Twice now." added Remus, grinning as he glanced over at Lily, who was sitting three seats away from them. "Er, Sirius…"
"What?" asked Sirius, sounding slightly annoyed; following Remus' gaze, he broke into a wide grin. "Ah…brilliant…"
Three seats away, a large, fluffy, hot pink owl had landed in front of Lily Evans, something resembling a limp, jet black ferret held firmly in its beak. It hooted once, dropping its parcel on the plate of Lily's friend (who promptly screamed and leapt off her seat, crashing into a passing Slytherin), and took off again. Immediately the entire table fell silent, staring at Lily – who, for her part, looked rather bewildered. A second later, however, her eyes narrowed, and she turned to glare at Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter.
"What is –" she began, but was drowned out as everyone nearby gasped. What had at first appeared to be a dead black ferret was now slowly unfolding itself and standing up, and, were it not for the large, neon pink scrawl across it which said (in rather messy handwriting that everyone recognized as Sirius') "Snuffles", would have resembled a small black pillowcase on stilts.
Lily froze, James froze, Sirius laughed, and Remus and Peter braced themselves as "Snuffles" cleared his throat. Now standing fully on its two thin, twig-like legs, it took an awkward step forward…and promptly fell over. Grabbing onto a nearby glass of orange juice, it pulled itself to its feet and took another valiant step…but, once again, without avail.
Finally, after five minutes, the now bacon-and-egg-covered "Snuffles" reached Lily's plate. It cleared its throat again, causing Peter to squeak and cover his ears with his hands – Remus, apparently seeing the wisdom in this, shortly followed suit.
"Ladies and gentlemen," cried "Snuffles", in a voice that everyone nearby recognized as Sirius' bad attempt at a French accent, "It is vith great joy and love zat I dedicate zis poem to ze, er, beautiful, and, eh, vonderful madam, Lily Evans, on ze behalf of ze great and noble gentleman, Mister Potter." Lily choked as "Snuffles" bowed, nearly falling over onto a plate of sausages. "So, vithout further ado…"
"Your hair is as red as a shiny new quaffle
"Your eyes are like green pits of slime
"You're annoying and screechy and make me feel queasy
"Oh darling I vish you vere MINE!"
And, with one last, flourishing bow, "Snuffles" crumpled into a heap and was silent. For a long moment nobody said anything – and then, simultaneously, the entire table erupted in laughter.
Lily, her cheeks burning and her eyes flashing dangerously, whipped around to glare at Sirius, who was sniggering heartily, and James, who appeared completely thunderstruck. "You…," she snarled – a second later she leapt from her chair, her eyes gleaming with a sort of maniacal pleasure as she flew into Sirius and knocked him off of his seat.
"But, Evans, didn't you hear Snuffles?" choked Sirius, still laughing uncontrollably even while Lily was attempting to strangle him. "It 'vas ze vonderful Mister Potter, not ze lowly Mister Black…!'"
A/N - Hehe...If I were James I'd be in there helping Lily right now... You know, I think that's the first chapter in a while that I've actually liked. Weird. But I think James is definately in need of some payback now...:grins and cackles evilly:
Alright, on to my kind, patient reviewers! I love you guys:hugs:
Misthea - Don't worry, I have absolutely no intention of just letting this story go (although it is starting to wrap-up, as you may have noticed). You're right, having Sirius asa student would be awful. :grins: . Poor Jamsie now, I think. Glad you liked the cat bit, and, as always, thanks for reviewing!
Spork Princess - Wow...your name-changing has really gotten me confused. First Celebrean, then Viresse Lotte, then Spork Princess...argh! But, anywho, I'm glad you found it...amusing... ;)
brennQT - A serious Sirius? lol - nope, don't think you're going to be seeing that very soon. And rambling is good! lol.
hikki116 - lol. Ah, yes - the joys of friendship... :laughs:
fidget - Yay, it's Fidge! Wow, we haven't talked in...forever...oh, you're reading the beginning chapters:ducks head and hides in embarassment:. Yeah, I hate those chapters now...but anyways, about your question - the screams/howls were caused by Remus, not James, Sirius, and Peter. Remus had already been in the Shack once by the time the four went exploring, so the villagers would've already heard the screams. Thanks for reviewing:hugs:
julia :sigh: Yeah, I know my Lily acts like Hermione...I'm just not quite sure how to characterize her. Hopefully she was slightly better in this chapter : ).
Alrighty - thank you everyone! I hope you liked the chapter, and expect the next one...sometime in the distant future...
Bye!