You guys blew me away with your replies! Seriously. Thank you so much! This is, unfortunately (or fortunately?), the last chapter. Elzed is once again owed my gratitude for putting up with my neurotic questioning. Thank you! I owe you.

As always, certain lines belong to Fox and Josh Schwartz.

This is rated R.

Ryan began to put his things away into the little shelves behind the bed. After he was done, he turned around and looked around. He'd been spared for a little while, but he knew his time here was limited.

Ryan settled onto the bed, waiting for Seth's inevitable arrival. He heard him before he saw him as he awkwardly stumbled into the pool house. His presence was oddly welcoming and familiar.

"So you're back!"

"For now, at least."

"Ah, don't think like that! Negative vibes will do us no good." Seth steepled his hands and raised them against his chin. He rocked back on his feet. "Ryan, I have a premonition that things are going to work out. I'm optimistic. Psychic, maybe. Some might even say clairvoyant, even. I've seen the future, my friend, and it looks bright. "

"Sure," Ryan said.

Seth's enthusiasm was almost contagious. Ryan would have been infected with it had he not been thinking rationally. Seth was a dreamer. Ryan was realistic.

Ryan looked at Seth, wanting and scared all at once. It was like Ryan had once said: Seth couldn't save him. Right now, though, he wished he could.

It happened when they were playing video games. It was a typical day, nothing was really different. Breakfast, comics and then video games leading all the way into lunch. That had become their routine.

Inseparable. That's what they had become. Seth sometimes got the impression that Ryan didn't want to be alone; that he'd been alone enough in his life. It worked out fine for Seth because he'd spent the first sixteen years of his life alone. He enjoyed the company. Ryan was still quiet and brooding, but occasionally, when he didn't know Seth was watching him, he could be caught smiling.

Seth hoped that the private investigator his father had hired would skip town and never come back so Ryan wouldn't be sent away. He wasn't sure he could go back to the lonely person he had been before he'd met Ryan. In fact, he was positive he couldn't.

Ryan was crunching on ice beside Seth on the couch, trying to manipulate his man on screen to do what he wanted him to. The ninja game was one they both enjoyed. Ryan had quickly picked it up, but still wasn't quite at Seth's skill level. "Dude, you're, like, really bad at this game. Like, seriously? You suck so bad." Seth's jaw dropped when the weight of the words hit him. He turned to Ryan. "Um, no pun intended there. I didn't mean... I meant the game. You're horrible at this game. I didn't mean... 'Cause I wouldn't-"

And then it happened. Ryan leaned over, looking him in the eye. Seth stared back, questioningly. Ryan continued forward, pressing his lips against Seth's.

Seth wasn't sure how to respond. Weird, was what it was. It was an odd thing to wait for something to happen, something you want that you think you're never going to have and then it just does and you have it.

Seth's heart was beating a jillion times a minute -or, at least, it felt like it was. He was halfway convinced it was going to pop out of his chest, shoot across the room, land on the floor and then flop around like a jellyfish until it stopped working all together. Either that or he was going to have a heart attack. Either option was just as likely to occur.

At first Ryan's lips were stiff, and maybe even a little uncertain, but then something changed. Ryan relaxed into the kiss at the same time Seth did.

The kiss was chaste but powerful. It might have been what heaven felt like. Because there was something divine about the kiss. Something bigger than the two of them.

The game controller fell out of Seth's hands as he grappled with Ryan's shirt, trying to pull him closer. Seth spread his hands over Ryan's back, feeling corded muscle and heat through his thin t-shirt. There was an intensity brewing under the surface of Seth's skin that he'd never felt before. He felt heady, drunk.

Seth felt Ryan's tongue prodding his mouth. He opened for him, his eyes closed so tight he could see stars. Ryan's tongue was cool from the ice he'd been sucking on. A shiver went down Seth's spine. On instinct, he responded. Seth was a mess of flailing limbs as he tried to uncross his legs to get closer. His leg shot out knocking over a bowl full of chips. He felt dizzy and great and awkward.

Ryan broke away, resting his forehead against Seth's.

The only sound in the room was the trippy background music, the swoosh of swords generating from the unattended game and their ragged breaths. Seth could hear the battle cry as his player surrendered to a bloody death. The smell of Doritos and Ryan's soap was an odd combination. A decidedly wrong combination.

Seth knew he had to say something, anything, to break the silence. Because it was stretching between them and the stillness of the room was growing uncomfortable. The problem was that his brain was still focussed on the kiss and his tongue couldn't wrap around words to form a sentence. "Whoa! Kissing. Huh, that's...that's- We've never really-I've never really... just whoa."

The corners of Ryan's mouth turned up in a confused smirk. "You're not making much sense." Ryan settled back into the cushions and drank a few mouthfuls of Coke.

Seth nodded vigorously, watching as Ryan's teeth ground a piece of ice into minuscule shards. "Yeah, I do that sometimes." Seth touched his lips. They still tingled. "But, dude, that was..."

Ryan rested his head against the back of the couch. He rolled his shoulders and looked at Seth. "What?"

Seth decided it was best not to drag the topic any further. It was just something that had happened, and Ryan didn't want to talk about it, certainly didn't want to analyse it. The best course of action to take-if Seth wanted it to happen again-was to just shut up.

"Uh, Nothin'. You, uh, you wanna play again?"

Seth picked up the controllers from the floor where they had fallen and handed one to Ryan. Even as he tried to stop it, a smile formed on his face. Ryan had kissed him.

Things were a little shaky around the house, but going well. When Ryan wasn't brooding he appeared happy. And that made Seth happy. Which, in turn, made Kirsten and Sandy happy.

But underneath all the supposed happiness there was tension. It could be felt in the air when Ryan and Kirsten were in the same room. If they weren't careful they were all going to choke on it.

Kirsten made it no secret that she didn't like the boys being alone together and had, once or twice, sent Rosa to the pool house to collect the laundry just to check up on them.

The nights were longer than normal and Kirsten often found herself getting out of bed and checking to make sure Seth was still in his. He always was. That eased her mind. A little.

It took three days to locate Dawn. Kirsten had spent the time observing Ryan. After Sandy had confided in her, after she'd learned the truth, it was hard not to judge Ryan, not to want to protect Seth. She didn't say anything, just carefully watched and waited. But three days was not enough time to get to know Ryan and, in the pit of her stomach, she was a little relieved to know that Ryan's mother had been found.

The private investigator Sandy had hired followed lead after lead until he tracked her down in a grocery store in Fresno where she'd been a cashier for the past two months.

Sandy went down personally to extend an invitation to the house. He broached the subject of Ryan carefully. The exchange went well and Dawn had agreed to meet at the house. She had said all the right things, expressed the right amount of concern for Ryan. There didn't seem to be a reason to worry.

A special dinner had been ordered. Kirsten always steered clear of the kitchen, especially when they were having company. It was one thing to poison her family, but poisoning strangers was unacceptable.

Everyone was on edge. They waited on baited breath. Sandy held Kirsten's hand as they stared at the clock on the wall. Seth stared at Ryan when he wasn't focussed on the floor.

Dawn was late.

An hour and ten minutes late.

The only person in the room that didn't seem concerned was Ryan. He sat back on the couch like he knew what was going to happen.

When the doorbell rang, everyone got to their feet except for Ryan.

Kirsten didn't know what to expect when she opened the door. Dawn Atwood was a Mary Kay explosion combined with thrift store cheap cleavage.

"Kristen, right?"

"Kirsten."

"Right!"

"Come in," Kirsten said, smiling graciously.

Sandy came up behind Kirsten, placing his hand on the small of her back as he waved Dawn inside. "Dawn, hi, how are you?"

Kirsten detected the scent of alcohol as Dawn walked past.

"It's hotter than hell out! The A/C in my car is busted. I spent the whole drive over with my head practically out the window."

Kirsten could see Seth's eyes bug out. If she knew her son like she thought she did, he had a few choice jokes on the tip of his tongue.

Dawn surveyed the house, her eyes scanning every corner. "Swanky pad," she said and let out a low whistle.

"We like it," Sandy chimed in. "Come. Sit. Oh, this is our son, Seth."

"Hi, nice to meet you." Seth offered his hand and managed to conceal any judgements he was making at the time.

"Mr. Manners, this one."

Again, Kirsten could see her son's brain at work. She shook her head behind Dawn warning him not to go there.

"Ryan." Her voice softened as she said his name. "Have you missed me?"

"Sure, mom," Ryan answered, though, he didn't sound very convincing.

Ryan finally stood and allowed his mother to wrap her arms around him. The whole exchange looked tacky and uncomfortable.

Ryan, Dawn and Seth sat lined up on the couch. Kirsten and Sandy each sat in a chair. The silence stretched.

Sandy cleared his throat. "Maybe we should eat."

"That sounds like a good idea." Kirsten stood, clasping her hands together. "The food's probably cold. Just give me a minute and I'll heat it up in the oven."

Seth snickered. "Mom, the oven? Are you sure you can handle that?"

Sandy joined Seth and chuckled. "Maybe the microwave would be better, honey."

"I can handle the oven!" she protested.

"Ah, there's nothing like righteous indignation over an oven. Might I remind you of the TV dinner escapade of '99, mother?"

Kirsten tilted her head to the side, remembering. The oven had to be replaced after that incident. It was just after that that Seth and Sandy had practically banned her from the kitchen. They'd made a pact and they'd gone out of their way on occasion to honour it. "Right. No, you're right, the microwave is probably a safer bet," she conceded. "Sandy, why don't you come help me."

"Sure. Does anyone want anything to drink while I'm up?"

Kirsten took the opportunity to catch a glimpse of Ryan. He appeared emotionless.

"I'll take a 7&7," Dawn said.

"Mom!" The way Ryan clenched his jaw didn't escape Kirsten's attention

Dawn turned her attention to Ryan. "What? He offered."

Sandy paused at the doorway. "I'll, uh, I'll see what I can do."

Kirsten piled food on plates to heat it up in the microwave. She took a moment to look at Sandy. "So, that's Ryan's mom." Returning to her task, she added, "huh."

Sandy skirted the island and came to her side. "What, what're you thinking?" he said in a hushed voice.

"She's an...interesting woman."

Sandy shook his head. "I've got a better word for her besides interesting. We can't send him back with her. There's no way!"

"Sandy." He was riled up, passionate. Kirsten had always loved this side of him, but not when it involved keeping a boy they barely knew in their house where Seth was easily accessible and liable to be influenced.

"7&7!" he continued, becoming more animated. "She's drunk all ready by the looks of it!"

Kirsten pointed a pair of tongs at him. "Keep your voice down!"

Sandy shook his head. "I just don't have a good feeling about this."

Kirsten sighed. She picked up a plate, opened the microwave door and placed it inside. "She's his mother, Sandy. We've done enough."

"Have we? The second we let him out of this house, his life changes. What kind of opportunities is he going to have with a mother like that? He'll spend the rest of his life taking care of her."

"You don't know that."

"I've seen it enough," he mumbled.

Kirsten took the salad out of the refrigerator and dumped it into a bowl. "Everything you're saying is probably true, but t's not up to us to decide if she's good enough for him."

"We'll maybe it should be!"

Kirsten looked up. She saw the fire in his eyes, the spark that had made her fall in love with him. It made her feel like the bad guy. "Grab some plates."

Kirsten crossed the room, set the salad in the middle of the table and then continued on to the living room. "Everything's ready. Why doesn't everyone come sit down?"

Dawn stood, grabbing her purse from the floor. "Thanks for everything, but Ryan and I can't stay. I have to work the late shift tonight."

"Oh, okay," she said, surprised. Kirsten tried to catch Ryan's eye but he wouldn't look up. Turning her attention to Seth, she realized he was looking at her and his eyes were pleading. She really hated being the bad guy.

Sandy came back into the room. "You're leaving?"

"Dawn has to work," Kirsten supplied.

"Oh. That's...too bad."

Ryan stood. Dawn slung her arm over his shoulder and nudged him against her side. "Let's go grab your stuff, Kiddo."

"Uh, wait. We should exchange addresses. So the boys can stay in touch," he said. Sandy left them. He returned a moment later with a pad of paper and pen. Peeling off the first paper, he handed it to Ryan. "I put the house number, my work number and cell phone. You know, just in case."

"Thanks." Ryan's mouth was tight. He barely opened it wide enough to get the word out.

Seth had remained seated up until that point. Slow to stand, he bypassed Dawn. "See ya, man," he uttered, offering his hand. Ryan accepted and they shook. Kirsten looked past the lingering touch, the way they held on just a little too long. She was doing the right thing, she reminded herself. It was what any mother would do.

Ryan should have known. She was drunk or, at least, had been drinking. She was always drunk. He didn't know why her behaviour surprised him anymore. He watched as his mother looked at everything in the pool house.

"This is a nice place." She picked up a vase from one of the small tables. "You think this is real crystal?"

Ryan spared a glance at it. He shrugged. "I guess. Probably." Ryan grabbed his duffel bag, pulled his clothes off the shelf and started shoving them into it.

"I went to see your brother the other day."

"Uh-huh." Since he'd returned to the Cohen house, he'd been weighted down with the feeling of dread. He knew sooner or later he was going to have to go back to Chino and that his time at the Cohen house was just a short reprieve before the inevitable. It had been the driving force that made him kiss Seth. And now, with his mother standing six feet away, waiting for him to pack so she could take him back to her miserable life, Ryan felt like his stomach was so twisted up in knots he'd never be able to undo them.

She was still talking. "... He's doing good. The guards said he's staying out of trouble. He wouldn't see me, though. "

Ryan didn't want to know about his brother. He didn't want to know what was going on in his own mother's life, either. It didn't matter to him. It had nothing to do with him. Ryan stopped what he was doing and faced his mother. "Why now?"

"What?" she said, startled.

Ryan dropped the bag onto the bed and approached her. "Why do you want me now? Why do you care now?"

Dawn smiled. Ryan felt his stomach roll. "I've always cared. I haven't always been the best mother, but I've changed." Dawn moved closer. She let her hand snake out and touch Ryan's cheek. He recoiled. Dawn let her hand drop to the side. "Look at me, Ry."

Ryan forced his eyes to meet hers. "It's because they have money, isn't it? Got some debts you want them to pay off?"

"Ryan, that's not fair!"

Ryan felt his anger swelling. He couldn't take it any longer. "Screw fair! And screw you!"

Ryan felt the sting of her hand against the side of his face before he had time to move out of the way. His head snapped back. A familiar sensation trickled down his neck.

Ryan stood in shock.

Dawn pointed her finger at him. "Don't you dare talk to me like that! You better adjust your attitude right now; I won't raise another troublemaker."

"You never raised either of us. We took care of ourselves!" he fired back.

"You think you're better than me now, is that it? Found yourself some rich people to take you in and now you think you're at their level?" Her lips trembled with the anger of her words. "Let me tell you something, Kiddo, you'll never be at their level. I saw the way their son was looking at you."

"Just stop it." There was no reason to bring Seth into their family crap.

Dawn snickered. "They don't want you in their house corrupting him. You've always been good at that, haven't you, Ry?"

"I said stop it! Let's just go." Ryan reached down and grabbed the duffel bag from the bed. He started toward the door when Dawn yanked on his arm, pulling him close. Ryan breathed in her stale, sour breath. It made his stomach churn.

"Don't walk away from me! Tell me. Did you lure him into your innocent little trap? Just like with Mike and AJ and that teacher-lady down at the YMCA."

"I didn't... It wasn't my fault. "

Ryan felt tears prick his eyes and willed them not to fall. He hated that she could turn him into a child again with just the simplest of words. She was his mother, she knew how to hurt him the most. She always aimed straight for the heart and never missed.

"You expect me to believe that AJ just decided-"

She'd crossed the line. It was too fucking much. "He raped me!"

Dawn made a disgusted noise. "Stop it, you're not even a girl!"

"What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Don't," she warned.

"Let go." Ryan pulled back his arm with enough force to cause Dawn to stumble back.

"You brat!" she said and slapped him again. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion.

It stung worse than the first one. The throb worked its way through his jaw and settled in deep into the tissue. There was going to a bruise in the shape of her hand print for a week. Ryan cupped his cheek.

Kirsten, standing in the doorway, took the opportunity to clear her throat. Dawn pivoted around and scoffed. "You see what kind of kid I got?"

Apparently she was under the assumption that they were comrades in a battle with their children. She was wrong.

Her question fell on deaf ears. Kirsten looked past Dawn to Ryan. His head was bowed, his shoulders slumped. Through the gaps between his fingers braced over his cheek, she could see his face was painted an ugly red. Yeah, she saw what kind of kid Dawn had. "Are you okay, Ryan?"

Ryan looked up. He looked terrified. Suddenly Kirsten could see the seventeen-year-old kid that had been hiding from everyone since he'd arrived in her home. Everything was laid out in his eyes: his vulnerability, his fear. She couldn't do it. She couldn't let him go with her. Not when this was how Dawn treated him. She wouldn't sentence him to that kind of life.

"Yeah," Ryan answered, his voice gruff. Underneath the red hand print on his face, his cheeks were stained a darker red from embarrassment.

Kirsten stood straight. Pulling her eyes form Ryan, she looked at Dawn. "I think you'd better leave."

Dawn nodded. "I think you're right. If I'm late for work again, that's it. Come on, Ry."

"He's staying here," Kirsten said, resolute.

Dawns eyes turned cold. "You can't-"

"You touch him again and I'll call the police and have you escorted off the property." Kirsten felt her body shaking from adrenaline. She'd never been a fan of confrontation, but tonight, she would embrace it. Dawn was not leaving with Ryan. No matter what.

"You can't just steal my son!"

"He's not leaving with you." Kirsten wasn't backing down. She wasn't going to let Dawn intimidate her.

It became a stare down. An uncomfortable minute passed before Dawn shifted her eyes to Ryan.

"Keep him. He's useless anyway," she said, sneering, and then turned without a look back, walking out of the pool house.

Kirsten released a breath.

Ryan looked at Kirsten through his eyelashes. "She didn't mean those things. She gets like that when she's drinking," Ryan muttered, ashamed. It was bad enough she'd read about the abuse he'd had to go through when he was a child, but seeing it for herself was ten times worse.

Kirsten nodded, her eyes sympathetic. "How often does she drink?"

"All the time." Ryan tried to laugh it off but the effort was forced and it sounded hollow.

Kirsten didn't speak again for what felt like a long time. He could feel her looking at him, probably feeling sorry for him and his bruised face and his shitty life. Finally, she sighed. "I'm sorry, Ryan. I was wrong."

"About what?"

"About you."

Ryan flushed, his eyes dropping to examine his shoes. At the rate he was going, his face would never return to normal colour. "No, you weren't."

"Yes. I was." She took a step forward, close enough so he could smell the soft fragrance of her perfume. "I judged you unfairly. And I'm still not okay with everything. I think it will take time before I can really, truly, trust you, but I couldn't let you go with your mother. Do you understand? "

Ryan looked up, squinting at her. "No, not really."

Kirsten attempted a smile. "I'm asking you to stay with us. It's your choice, of course. You'll have to promise you'll stay out of trouble. You'll have to go to school and, and counselling wouldn't be a bad idea, but I won't force you. And you'll have to promise me... you won't do anything that will hurt Seth."

"I wouldn't." Kirsten wasn't like any other woman he'd ever encountered. There was a sense of control about her, like the whole world could come tumbling down and somehow she would know how to repair and rebuild it. There was something else in her eyes, something weathered with understanding and compassion.

She seemed to know what her role was in this family, and that no matter what, she would always be there for them. If she accepted Ryan, even with all his faults, everything else would fall into place.

"I believe you wouldn't." After a minute, she said, "I know you and Seth have...feelings for each other, but I don't want... You're both so young. You have plenty of time. I don't want the two of you to rush into anything again."

"No sex. I know."

Kirsten blinked, flustered. "Ok-ay. Should we tell Seth and Sandy the good news?"

Ryan nodded. Kirsten led the way to the main house with Ryan following behind.

Ryan paused at the doorway. "Kirsten?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm-" Ryan stopped, shook his head to gather his thoughts. "What I said and did to you at your father's party? I didn't mean it."

Kirsten tilted her head to the side. Her eyes were a warn blue when she looked at him, soft, like how she sometimes looked at Seth. "It's okay."

Ryan believed her. Not everything was okay, but it was going to be.

There was so much ugliness in the world...so much ugliness in people, that sometimes Ryan forgot that there could be beauty buried amongst the masses. He'd been so blinded by his fear.

Made a legend out of someone that was, at the barest level, a flawed woman. She...they, all the ghosts of his 't hurt him anymore. But they would always be with him. People like Sandy, Kirsten and even Seth, were different. He'd tested them and tested them. There was no ulterior motive, no plan to exploit him. They didn't want to hurt him. They wanted to help.

They couldn't change his past, but they could change his future. So maybe he could be saved after all.

The End.

Thank you to everyone that stuck with this fic even though I sometimes took forever to update. Heh. There are various reasons I chose to end this here. Mostly, the fic was based on my initial reaction to the Pilot. I could just see these characters a little more flawed and I thought the writers should have worked up to Ryan becoming so 'tame.' The Ryan, Seth and even Kirsten we know evolved a lot post-pilot, so all those things that were hinted at kind of got lost. Dawn has, of course, been embellished significantly to use for my purposes. So this was me writing a harsher reality of how Ryan came to live with the Cohens, but still keeping it along the same lines. If that makes any sense... I also wanted to incorporate various lines from the show and spin a different angle with them. So, Ryan's in the house and anything beyond that would be an entirely different story. I hope you've enjoyed this fic! Thanks again for reading. Your replies have been so awesome! I really appreciate everyone that took the time to write me a review.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Feel free to e-mail me or leave a review, please. ;)