A/N: Hello Everyone!
Where to do I begin? Well, I suppose a proper explaination as to why I've kept you all waiting would be a good place to start. Truth be told, the delay was largely due to a simple and quite common problem: writer's block. I've had the idea for this chapter and the one subsequent to it floating around in my mind for some time now...the problem was simply getting started. And once I did, I found that I couldn't even settle on a proper opening for the chapter. As time passed, embarassingly almost 3 months worth, I started to question whether it was good enough to have kept you all waiting for so long-I do so very much want to be worthy of your praises; which is what ultimately led to my procrastination.... Uncertainty can be a most dangerous thing. Please forgive me for the lateness of this update.I'm truly sorry that I've left this story for so long...my mind has been wandering and I daresay that new plots for new stories have begun to bloom-but I won't abandon this story, as I've said many a time. This story will know an end. I beg for your patience and though this chapter is shorter than the one preceeding it, take solace in knowing that the next chapter is being written as we speak and you needn't wait nearly as long for an update.
On another note, it seems that I have befuddled some of my lovely readers with regards to the happenings of last chapter. I don't know whether to attribute this confusion to my rather weak writing abilities (a very likely cause) or perhaps, I was so very brilliant (snorts with laughter) in my expression of Kaida's internal conflict/confusion that I managed to displace her emotions upon my dear readers (so very, very unlikely). I prefer not to explain my writing but rather have it speak for itself...I hope that any confusion that occurred will be remedied in the next few chapters.
Now, please bare with me, as I thank the lovely readers who took time out of their busy schedules to review chapter 24:
elvesmagic010: Firstly, thank you so very much for reviewing! And I do suspect that you will be seeing much more of Severus than in previous chapters. Thank you again and I do hope you will enjoy this chapter.
This Parrot has ceased to be: Goodness! To have my words compared to the wonders of chocolate is quite an honor! Thank you so much for the kind words, you have no idea how much they truly mean to me. I do hope you will find this chapter to your liking and thank you for reviewing.
Bitter Twilight: Thank you so much for your kindness. Your compliments are very touching and I do hope that you will not be disappointed with what awaits in this chapter. Thank you for reviewing and for keeping me going.
KaliedescopeCat: Yes, Kaida is in a bit of trouble. But truth be told, she has no intention of toying with hearts and hopefully it will become apparent as to what her goals/choice will be. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I do hope that this chapter will not disappoint you.
Aerandir:The"bold" Kaida can be a mite difficult to bear, and unforetunately you will be seeing a bit more of her in this little chapter. Thank you for your kind words and I do apologize for theunnaturally long wait.
angelriseng85: I'm so glad that you still find my story intresting...but after such a long wait...I wonder if that is still the case. Thank you very much for the lovely compliments, I hope you will find this chapter worth the wait.
Neoma: You never fail to brighten my inbox with your lovely reviews. But I daresay that you may be to generous with your praises. I thank you kindly for your compliments and hope that this chapter does your praises justice.
dragonsgrl: Where do these ideas come from, you ask? To tell you the truth, I haven't the foggiest! They seem to just happen...I just stumble across them during my frequent trips into the blissful world of reveries. I do hope you'll enjoy this chapter and I thank you for your lovely review.
Riaelfgirl: Thank you very much for your patience and understanding. I do hope that you do not find your confidence in my abilities to be misplaced with this chapter. I hope you enjoy it and find it worth the wait.
The Grim: Dear Grim, I daresay that you do not give yourself enough credit! You are a brilliant writer, I stand in your shadow with awe at your brilliance. I am truly flattered that you have continued to read my meager story and hope that you do not find this chapter to be a disappointment.
EyesofEmerald: Thank you very, very much for those words of encouragement, I do hope you'll enjoy this chapter and forgive me for the wait.
Lillei:You needn't apologize for your absent reviews; I realize that life canbe most draining.But I am glad to see that you've returned to reviewing as I do so love to hear from my readers. Thank you very much for your kind words and I do hope that this chapter will be to your liking.
wotchertonks: Thank you for those lovelywords of encouragement. I am sorry that Kaida's feelings were a bit "mucky" last chapter but truth be told, I don't think that even Kaida herself knows exactly how she feels about either Severus or Remus. This is all foregin to her, but hopefully in the next few chapters all will be explained and clarified. Thank you once again for reviewing.
Chantal J: Thank you very much! I do hope that this chapter falls into the category of "keeping up the good work".
AstaraelUndomiel: I've taken your words to heart and with a sharpened impliment of writing have managed to drive off the fates for the moment. I do hope that you'll enjoy this chapter and find it worth the wait. I'm very flattered that you enjoy my story. You, yourself have quite a way with words; have you graced us with a story of your own? If you haven't, I daresay you should!
Why Do You Stare? fan: How incredibly flattering, a fan! And to have my chapter compared to a song by Linkin Park seems too good to be true! Thank you so much for the lovely compliments; I do hope that I haven't driven you away with the rather long wait.
Flower of Scotland: You have no idea how much your compliments mean to me; you are such an accomplished writer that I find myself envious of your abilities. I hope that you find this chapter to your liking.
unmasked: Thank you so very much for the lovely compliments. And you needn't thank me for reviewing your stories-which by the way are far from helpless! They are truly brilliant and I daresay you under estimate yourself! Once again thank you for the kind words and I do hope that you find this chapter to be worth the wait.
missmee: Thank you very much for the kind review! I hope you enjoy this little chapter.
kiwaussi: You need not ask for forgiveness, as I take no offense. And I thank you for the kind words. It is quite a relief to know that my writing has not gotten stale and that you still reader my meager chapters. Thank you very much! And you needn't worry that your review will be adding too much to my plate-I daresay, there is no such thing!
Unauthorized Cuddler: Thank you very much! To have portions of my chapters referred to as poetry is truly flattering. I do hope you enjoy this chapter!
I-Love-Moony: Welcome to my meager story! I'm quite flattered that you like my story, being that you yourself are quite an excellent writer! I hope this chapter is to your liking and that you find it to have been worth the wait.
EripMav: I'm trying not to...it's getting a mite bit harder now, being that I don't want to disappoint any of my readers. I thank you kindly for reviewing and hope you hear from you soon!
esta-gr: You needn't worry about story abandonment. I would never leave my readers hanging! I thank you kindly for your concern and kind words and hope that this chapter was worth your patience.
Fethenwen: I daresay you'll make me blush if you keep going on like that! You are truly too kind! I hope you'll find this chapter worth the wait and I welcome you to my meager story!
I thank you all for kindly reading and reviewing my story and hope that the long wait has not driven you from it.
Ninde Annare
Chapter 25:
Only moments ago he held my gaze with sympathetic eyes….
Only moments ago I longed for his heart to be mine…
And only moments ago he stood before me as prey….
But now all that lingers of my quarry is the warmth of his body upon the cool night air…and the emptiness of his scent…
The delicious aroma of copper leaves ghostly kisses upon my lips-a haunting reminder of what could have been….
I blush furiously at the thought-a feeble attempt by my body to shed the loathing I feel towards it, to flush out the remnants of the demonic mask that had tried to possess me. To think that only moments ago, I would have willingly donned this mask, that I would have surrendered to darkness in exchange for a promise made by a savage seductress!
And yet I cannot deny the pleasure I felt…the power…the knowledge that for that brief instant his life was mine to do with as I wished. I would have happily donned its dark mask; used it to shield my eyes from the face of an incestuous crime… a vampiric rape. I would have all too happily torn open his skin and stolen a kiss from his virgin blood, all to satisfy my hungered lust….
I allowed myself to be governed by temptation…to be led a stray once again by my senses. The sensuality of this world will be my undoing, for even now, my senses tingle with anticipation…anticipation of the feast before me…a feast worthy of a monster… Before my feet a small crimson pool of Severus' essence awaits like an unwitting sacrifice laid upon an altar for a sanguine goddess. She lies within my cadaverous temple; biding her time…waiting for a moment of weakness…for my senses to betray me once again and awaken her from her slumber to partake in the grisly gift.
Repulsed by the offering, I gather the heavy cloth of my robes in my fist as I draw myself away from the edges of the treacherous pool. But as I do my hem glances over its surface, sending a soft scarlet shower across the innocent ashen face of the stone walls surrounding me-anointing them with the gentle fragrance of mortality.
At the mere whisper of blood, the beast stirs. I can hear it purring softly as its sullied form brushes against my heart, as it slowly claws at my lungs. Yet, I remain still, afraid that the drawing of my unnatural breath may awaken it from its forced sleep. I feel it rise and fall…hear its breath flicker as it awakens from its lull.
A soft, empty laughter resounds
Foolish child! Do you truly think that your will could ever be a match for instinct?
Never…
But I'm sure that you will soon learn the folly of your silly heart…
The once soft, empty laugh rises until it is little more than a series of malevolent cachinnations
The gentle dance of candlelight suddenly melts into a fevered fit-madly thrashing as foreboding winds tear at its fiery heart. Silently I watch and wait…I watch as a frenzy of shadows swoop down upon me, feasting on the fleeing forms of panicked light…. My head swims in a sea of trepidation…. Slowly I tilt back my weary head, resting it upon the stone walls-upon the satisfied belly of darkness. Closing my eyes, I allow myself to be consumed by the sound of nothing…to find sanctuary within myself. For within the darkness only one sound remains: the soft murmur of my…two hearts? I hold my breath as I strain to hear it once more. Yes…two hearts beating…I hear my own call out to the void and unmistakably there is a reply, another…thump….
A doppelganger. It rests betwixt my breasts, shadowing my heart's abnormal beat with its own unnatural coo. How odd that its heart speaks with a richer timbre than my own…perhaps it is because mine serves only to mimic life, where as, its heart is heavy with an ambitious hunger for existence. With each beat, I feel it grow stronger…more defined…with each beat, I feel a new wave of terror wash over me.
Why am I frightened?
I am immortal…I lie beyond death's grasp…
Oh, but there are things far worse than death…
Yes…
Far worse…
With baited breath, I stand-body rigid in anticipation. Baring the quality of stone, cold and stiff; my body slowly becomes enveloped in the languor of mortal numbness. As each nerve slips into torpidity, an odd sensation engulfs me…a sensation reminiscent to one I felt as a mortal.
Gradually the memory unfurls, becoming horribly clear…this feeling of numbness was the last sensation to fill my mortal body before I crossed the twilight of timelessness…before I became a vampire. I can almost feel my body dying around me again, as the silent darkness sucks the youth from each pallid cell like Adalais did so many years ago. A muted warmth begins to fill my chest-perhaps it is the inane mortal memories of my body, thrown into a fit of remembrance of what it was to be alive. It is a tainted bliss to relive my conversion…to know that I am beyond feeling….
The biting embrace of senseless memories is suddenly torn in two, as the gentle warmth within me becomes a blistering heat. The icy crypt of my veins feel as though they have been thrown open to the sun, liquid rays of light licking at their walls, lapping up my strength with a feral hunger.
The soft hiss of a cold (and oddly amused) voice full of mock-sympathy breaks the silence
Don't you want it to stop?
This pain?
Wouldn't you like to end this feeling of death?
Of torment?
Yes.
Then do what you've always been meant to do…
Fulfill your destiny…
Satisfy your secret desires and…
Surrender…
The pain will stop.
I promise.
Bloody tears cloud my vision, bathing all I see in a crimson glow. Jagged shards claw desperately below the surface of my skin leaving conflagrant gashes in their wake. My blood boils with pain and fury; I loathe myself for flinching in gaze of mortal pain. I long to scream out my anguish and shake this beast from my chest; drive her away with a deafening cry but before my words can take form, blood rushes up from the depths of my body and fills my mouth with its muffled howls of indignation.
Swallowing my blood, I bite back my words to find that silence has once again blanketed me, its looming form hanging heavily around my still body, as these painful shards of my savagery continue to rake my skin…tearing into my flesh…into my veins with a maddening fervour.
The chaos that surges through the pit of my body has spilt over into my mind. It writhes with thoughts and feelings that are not my own. Images of blood pouring from open wounds flow into the darkness of my mind-a fountain of life bore from death.
Why do you insist on playing the martyr? On silently suffering for these blithely ignorant mortals?They will never understand the throes of immortality.
Time grants them the gift of salvation, for they will know an end to their anguish…
But you…
You will never know such comfort.
You will suffer until the end of time-all in the name of dying cause!
Do they care that you endure this anguish all for their sake?!
No.
They would love nothing more than to watch you burn in the infernal light of the sun- to smile maliciously into the hollow eyes of your chard skull!
Drink, dear child.
Drink and end your torment…
Show them the true face of suffering…
And I shall end this pain….
As suddenly as the pain fell upon me, it vanishes. Like fleeing harpies they leave my crumpled form to wallow in the memory of their assault; to remember that for an instant I was theirs…that my heart lay floundering in their tight grasp….
Clutching my chest as though to make certain that my heart has not abandoned me, I gasp hungrily for air, drinking in their coolness; desperately trying to relieve the burning remnants of my body's betrayal. The candlelight has returned to its silent waltz along the once shadowy walls, swiftly sweeping over their irregular face with formless feet, only occasionally stumbling over droplets of blood…
A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed that. I know it is significantly shorter than the previous chapter but I hope you will find that what it lacks in length it makes up for in exposition. Rest assured that the next chapter is on its way and should be posted very soon. Thank you very much for reading and I do hope you will review. Remember that reviews tend to sway my hand and have a wonderful way of presuading me to update sooner. Many thanks.
Ninde Annare
P.S. I like to quickly remind you all, especially new readers, that you are more than welcome to email me with regards to the story; questions, comments or words of encouragement to get me writing, what ever tickles your fancy. All emails are welcomed:)