100 Goats

Season: Any

Spoilers: Don't think so. Nothing major anyway.

Summary: Jack's miscommunication leads to a transaction at the expense of Sam and Janet! Literally. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I wish I wish with all my heart... Darn! Still doesn't work!

A/N: Well, I was actually in the mood to write something angsty, but this came to mind instead. Should be a lot of fun though. Hope you enjoy!

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General Hammond walked briskly down the hallway with a slight smile on his lips. The base was secure, the infirmary was empty, no enemies were threatening Earth's very existence. Life was good.

"Keep up the good work, airman," he nodded appreciatively to the security guard.

"Yes, sir!" replied the young man with a stiff salute.

Must be new, he thought to himself.

Entering the control room, he looked at the scene before him. People bustling about looking important and controlled, computers being tapped on, papers being written on. He beamed. This was a group he could be proud of.

Then one of the computers started beeping.

"Sir, we're getting an offworld gate activation."

Well, that wasn't unusual. They did have a few teams off world.

"Who is it?"

"Receiving SG1's iris code, sir."

"They're a little early. Let's hope it's because their contact with the Allians went well."

"Yes, sir. Uh, sir? This is strange, according to the computer, there are quite a number of incoming travelers. Five, eight, ten."

"Get a medical team to the gateroom. Perhaps they were under attack."

"Yes, sir."

General Hammond then turned and walked quickly down to the gateroom.

And stared in shock, his perfect world shattered.

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"General, sir?"

"What is going on?"

Daniel and Teal'c were looking anywhere but at the General.

"Sir?"

"Jack!"

"Um, well, you see, sir, um, these are my goats."

"What?!" he looked down to see a goat nibbling at his shoe. Another grabbed at his sleeve.

"It seems goats are a sign of power on Allia, sir. I've got 100! I named this one George," he said proudly motioning to the small kid he held cuddled in his arms. "He reminded me of you, sir."

"He wha...? Jack! Where are Major Carter and Doctor Frasier?"

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Sam and Janet stood holding pails in the middle of a field of what would be Earth's equivalent of cows. Their new owner's wife was looking very intent and pointing sternly in the direction of one of the cows, repeating the same word over and over.

"Beeta! Beeta!"

"What do you think she's saying," Sam hissed next to Janet while keeping her confused gaze on the woman in front of her.

"I think she wants us to milk it."

"How?"

"Well, from what I can determine, you see those things right there?"

"Eww! I'm so going to kill the Colonel!"

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There we go! Next chapter will be longer, I promise. Hope you enjoyed. Let me know!