Ten Lessons in Love
Chapter 2
The monk grinned in amusement after watching the hanyou dive into the well with precipitation. The damn fool had been pacing back and forth for a good hour or so contemplating whether or not he would actually follow through with Miroku's advice. Every time Inuyasha seemed as if he were about to jump into the well, he would fall into a storm of doubt, and quickly amble off into the opposite direction.
By the time Inuyasha had neared a decision, the sky had already turned to night, and the glittering in the clouds marked the shining of the first stars. Miroku had gritted his teeth, twitched- an instinctive reaction that came from Sango, of course- and had calmly told Inuyasha that he should get a move on. What was it that he had said again? Ah, yes. He remembered it now.
"If you don't jump into that damn well, I'll throw you down there myself!" Miroku snapped at the hanyou, his brows knitted together in a stern expression of disgust and irritation.
When the half-demon made no move to acknowledge or heed the monk's words, Miroku had actually tried to shove him over the well's edge, hoping that if the hanyou's legs hit the side of the dilapidated stone wall, that he would trip and fall in. Unfortunately, he hadn't really taken into account how much stronger Inuyasha was than him, so he had spent several moments sweating in exhaustive- not to mention futile- efforts to actually push the stupid idiot a few centimeters forward.
It was to Miroku's dismay that he realized Inuyasha had not moved an inch. So, being the clever man that he was, thought of something that he knew would get the hanyou moving.
Jealousy.
"You know, it's actually best if you didn't see her tonight," Miroku commented casually, resting his hands back by his sides.
Inuyasha's head snapped back around faster than lightening. "What? Why not?" He glared suspiciously at the monk, his golden eyes solemnly anticipating the worst.
"Because her friend Hojo is going to visit her," the monk shrugged.
"What!" Inuyasha roared. "That prissy boy? What the hell is he going to be doing there! How do you know?"
It was all Miroku could do from grinning. He suppressed his amusement at the hanyou's temper, shrugging again. "Well, she mentioned something about it to Sango, and I just 'happened' to overhear. Kagome said something about it being a study-date?"
Date.
That one single word struck a nerve for Inuyasha, never mind that it was attached to the word "study". His fingers balled up into a shaking fist. "He...that little..I'm going to kill him!"
And with that, he had taken off, crossing through to Kagome's time period. Boy would he be pissed when he realized Miroku had lied to him. Oh well. It had already been a major waste of time for Inuyasha to just sit around, anyway, Miroku thought to himself. Inuyasha and Kagome would probably end up kissing up a storm if all things went well, especially because it was his tip.
Inuyashas couldn't possibly end up screwing things further than he already had. Miroku rolled his eyes, wondering how in the hell Inuyasha had gotten himself so tangled up in stupidity that he had failed to catch Kagome's ill-concealed biting tone, and after all, the hanyou had those super-sensitive ears; how could he not hear what everyone else could?
Miroku groaned. Maybe Inuyasha could make things worse. He was a heck of a lot more stubborn than anyone he'd ever met before. Well, except for Kagome. And Sango, too. He paused, deep in thought over the whole matter.
Now that he thought about it, even though Inuyasha was quite stubborn, he could not match the stubbornness of Kagome. There was no way that the hanyou's physical claws could do more damage than Kagome's sharp tongue. Those two were perfect together, Miroku grinned, shaking his head.
Delving further into the matters of who was more stubborn, one name came to mind. Sango. The fiery demon exterminator never backed down from a challenge, nor was she ever on the losing side of a fight that she was in involved in. He frowned, thinking carefully. It seemed that her anger never exploded without taking Miroku down with it. But she appeared all the more irresistible when she was furious, the monk mused in a trance, unaware that his lips had curved into a half-formed, deliriously lovesick smile.
"Is he gone?" Shippo asked from beside him, startling the monk out of his thoughts. All his images of Sango fluttered from his mind, leaving nothing but a desolate wake behind. Miroku grimaced at this, glancing subconsciously back towards Kaede's hut. Could Sango really stay mad at him for that long? He sighed and turned back to Shippo. The kitsune had been strangely silent all night, having uttered not a word- except to occasionally insult Inuyasha, that is.
"That he is," Miroku replied.
"Hmmph," Shippo snorted. "It took him long enough."
Miroku paused, lifting a brow at this remark. "Is something the matter then, Shippo?"
The kitsune bristled before kicking at the soil with the tip of his foot. "Nah," he muttered.
"I see." The monk tapped his chin distractedly, struggling to decode the kit's actions and demeanor about the recent events. "So. Now that you know the first lesson of love, is there anyone that you have in mind to try it out on?" Miroku smiled, teasing the kitsune slightly in an obvious subject change.
Shippo stiffened, nearly tripping, and blushed before restraining his emotions. "N-no way! Love is gross!"
Miroku sighed deeply. "Ah, my friend. You have much to learn about love."
"I do?" Shippo blinked.
"Indeed. But you're still young." He paused to rumple the cub's hair. Shippo stuck his chest out crossly at being treated like a child, only causing Miroku to chuckle with mirth.
Shippo paused for a moment. "Have you tried them out on someone?"
"Not yet," Miroku replied nonchalantly.
"Are you going to?"
Miroku smiled, thinking that it was an innocent question. "Sure."
"You mean Sango, right?"
"Sango?" Miroku blinked several times, his pupils lined with confusion. Sango. The name started a flutter in his chest. He cleared his throat. "Well, I-"
"And what did you mean when you said that you cared about her as more than a friend? You mean like a brother?"
"That's not exactly what I-"
"You like her, don't you?" Shippo grinned, pointing a finger at the monk, as if he were accusing him of being guilty of a crime. Yes, Miroku was guilty all right. Guilty of loving Sango and being too cowardly to admit it. And yet, people like them did not so easily confess to things such as this. Love was an intricate knot, and he was not sure that he could untangle it so smoothly.
"You do like her! I knew it! Why haven't you told her yet? Huh?" Shippo squealed, hopping up and down in excitement.
"Beca-"
"Does she like you back?"
The monk coughed. "Well, I-"
"And if you do like her, how come you hit on all those other women?"
Silence. "...It's complicated."
When had the cub become so inquisitive?
The kitsune scratched his head thoughtfully. "You hit on Sango a lot more than any of the other women..."
"Well, that's because..." The monk was at a loss for words. "...she's...we're just friends..."
"And you're always spying on her, just like Inuyasha spies on Kagome..."
"I..."
"So that must mean..." Shippo frowned, trying to connect the dots. Then the kitsune gasped. "You must like her! No! You lo-" Miroku clamped his hand over Shippo's mouth.
"Shh! She'll hear you!" He glanced towards Kaede's hut, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
"So?" Shippo scrunched up his face, frowning at the monk. Love sure was messed up.
Miroku grinned nervously. "Well, you have to wait until just the right moment to tell them."
"Why?"
Miroku slightly felt the grin slide off his face. Man, was the kit annoyi- err...inquisitive! He'd make sure to make Inuyasha pay for leaving him alone so long to explain this to a cub alone. "You have to wait. Otherwise, they'll think you're joking. You know women. If it's not the right moment, they tend to...become angry."
"And slap you."
"...Right."
Shippo huffed indignantly, crossing his arms. "Well, how am I 'sposed to know? I'm just a kid."
Laughing, the monk patted the cub on the head. "Of course." He was glad that was over. And so they sat in silence, Shippo chewed absentmindedly on a blade of glass. The monk raised a brow at the kitsune's behavior. On first appearance, Shippo didn't seem out of the ordinary, but his attention was obvious being distracted with something. Miroku waited patiently for the kit to speak up about what had been bothering him.
"Inuyasha's so stupid. I bet he'll screw things up again with Kagome," the kitsune remarked impulsively out loud.
Miroku blinked.
"All he ever does is screw up. At least I know how to say things to her without offending her."
"Shippo, are you jealous?" Miroku suddenly smirked. Ah, it suddenly made sense now. Perhaps it was just the feeling of automatic protection that came with Kagome being the fox demon's surrogate mother, but Miroku loved to push onto the more...interesting side of these affairs.
The kitsune froze, and a blush rose over his cheeks. "W-what! No! I'm not j-jealous! Why would I be?"
"I think you have a crush on Kagome."
"I-I do not!" His cheeks grew redder.
"Ah, budding love. Denial's only the first stage, you know." Miroku placed a finger on his chin as he thought about the situation. "You might have a problem with Inuyasha being in love with her too, you know. With him being a hanyou and all. He'd kill you if he knew how you felt about Kagome. But don't let that get you down! Competition, war, and blood are what love is all about."
He didn't seem to see Shippo, who was jumping up and down, waving his arms, and yelling, "I don't like her!"
"Hmm. What to do about Inuyasha being in the way? A duel to the death seems fit. I'll hold him down for you, and you can do the rest. Or maybe I could just kill him for you. Of course, I don't think that Sango would approve. Or the rest of the world. I'd have to go into hiding, but I'm sure I could live off of berries for...a day or so."
Shippo sweatdropped. Was Miroku serious?
The monk blinked, realizing that he was scaring the living daylights out of the young one and chuckled. "I'm only teasing you, Shippo. But you do like Kagome, don't you?"
Shippo blushed furiously, and hung his head low, focusing on the blade of grass he was playing with. "...Maybe a little..."
"That's what I thought," Miroku replied, sighing.
"You won't tell her, right? Or Inuyasha?" Shippo suddenly squeaked.
"No, of course I won't tell them."
"Good."
Just then, the sound of heavy footsteps caught their attention, and both the monk and the kitsune glanced up to find a disgruntled Inuyasha. There were leaves and twigs snagged in his hair, and he looked slightly ruffled and abashed, as if he had been caught doing something that he wasn't supposed to be doing...
"Back so soon?" Miroku asked, lifting a brow. "Either that means that things went well, or..."
"...It means you screwed up!" Shippo intervened, scowling at the hanyou. "You better not have done anything to upset Kagome!"
Inuyasha growled at Miroku. "You lied! And your stupid lesson didn't work!"
"Well, what happened?" The monk asked, amused.
The hanyou lowered his head in shame. "...I got caught."
Miroku groaned, rolling his eyes at the same time. This was going to be much harder than he had expected. "Please don't tell me you told her what you were doing outside of her bedroom window."
"Hell no! Are you out of your damn mind? I ran for it!"
"Oooooh. Kagome's going to kill you the next time she comes!" Shippo declared triumphantly. He couldn't help being pleased with the news just a little bit, even knowing that Kagome did like Inuyasha back. Even he wanted the two to confess their feelings for each other- but he wouldn't forget that he had also had a crush on Kagome ever since she took him in.
Miroku and Inuyasha were still talking.
"So what do you plan to do if she acts suspicious on her next visit?"
"I don't know!"
"That's where Lesson Number Two comes in."
"Really? What is it?"
"When ever in doubt- deny, deny, deny. That, my friend, is one of the most important lessons that you'll learn in your entire life."
Inuyasha's ears twitched. "Really? Denying everything really works?"
Miroku nodded, crossing his arms. "Try it. I assure you that you won't be disappointed with the results."
Inuyasha sighed. "I hope you're right. So...how do I deny? Isn't that like lying?"
"Not at all!" Miroku replied. "Listen, Inuyasha. It's easy to deny. Any idiot can do it. All you have to do is say, 'You've got no proof!' or 'I have no idea what you're talking about' every time Kagome accuses you of something. Try to vary the phrases every now and then; it helps keep them from getting too suspicious."
Inuyasha nodded, remaining silent for a little while as he practiced the lines in his head.
Miroku couldn't help but feel a swell of pride at his idiotic- or enthusiastic student. Where else could Inuyasha find a better instructor in the mysterious ways of women? Of course, even if things went horribly wrong like they did tonight, at least he would get a few laughs out of it. Ah, the joy of laughter before being beaten up by the furious hanyou. Sometimes amusement came with a painful price.
Inuyasha glared at him suspiciously. "What are you smiling about? It's creeping me out."
Miroku laughed loudly. "I was just thinking of how happy you and Kagome will be with my help. I am proud you came to me with your questions, Inuyasha, and were so desperate for my advice."
Inuyasha growled. "I was not desperate! You forced me into this!"
The monk chose to ignore this. "Anyways, when Kagome comes, I know everything will be just fine."
"They'd better be," the hanyou snarled, "or I'll kill you."
As the hanyou leapt off towards the forest to hide from Kagome until her expectant fury had cooled down, Miroku's smile faded a little. Uh oh.
(A.N.: Yes, after months of delay, I have finally updated! Because I'm in a rush to post, I'm not going to write much, but for more details on my disappearance, please read the note in my fanfic First Time, Last Chance. I am very, very, very sorry to all my readers, but would still like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for continuing to review and e-mail me in my period of absence. Thank you so much! Much love goes out to all of you!)