Day Eight: Jack (FCOL)
I'll kill him. A slow and painful death. No wait, that's too good for him. I mean, here I thought all along that he was a friend. Amazing how wrong you can be about someone. See, cause I know that a friend, that knew I was stuck on another planet, bored out of my mind with 2 scientists and 2 aliens, would never, ever send me Barbie: Pet Rescue.
I sat in the corner staring angrily at the game boy screen blinking at me. There before me stood 'Barbie' dressed as some sort of rescue ranger, and behind her was a kitten stuck in a tree. I shut off the game boy, distressed that what was supposed to be my salvation from boredom had turned into something nightmares were made of.
Scrubbing my hands roughly over my face I try desperately to scrub away the pictures of the game running through my mind. Ferretti was SO a dead man when we got back. I had 2 more weeks to spend planning every meticulous detail of the demise of Major Louis Ferretti. I grinned.
There were oh so many things to pay the Major back for. There was the most serious, the sacrilege against all gamedom with Barbie: Pet Rescue, and then there was the coffee incident. I still can't believe that Ferretti had changed the coffee in Daniel's stash, especially after everything that had happened to Daniel. I mean the man almost takes a header off his balcony and Ferretti thinks that it would be smart to put him into caffeine withdrawal on top of the withdrawal we were all already experiencing? I shook my head. Oh I will definitely show Ferretti the errors of his ways.
Daniel had avoided me all morning, contenting himself with sitting by the coffee pot, making one cup after another. He apparently was trying to make up for the caffeine he had not consumed when drinking the decaf coffee. It wasn't my fault, I hadn't even thought to tell Ferretti not to do it. I didn't think I had to tell him. I would never deprive Daniel of caffeine in a situation like this on purpose. It was just once again an example of lady luck biting me in the ass. I don't know what I did, but whatever it was, it must have been something bad to have her so pissed off at me.
I watched as Carter set about asking Daniel for a cup of coffee. Everyone, including Teal'c had been keeping their distance as he hadn't quite gotten the caffeine level in his blood back to normal. He was still a little short tempered and it didn't take much to piss him off. Everyone was being extra nice to the keeper of the coffee pot, lest he decide not to share with the lowly hoards that would be the rest of us.
"Hi Daniel."
"Hey Sam."
"How are you feeling?"
"Better...now that I have real coffee." He glares in my direction, and I'm tempted to yet again protest my innocence but know it will fall on deaf ears. I can deal with this...as long as I have my thoughts of revenge to sustain me.
"Would you like some coffee Sam?"
"Sure." She holds out her cup and Daniel's, slightly less shaking hand, pours her a cup. She grins and walks back to study the light while Daniel wraps his hands around his cup of coffee. He is glancing every now and then around him and I think the caffeine withdrawal must have been worse than we thought because I have to say the boy looks like he's waiting for some imaginary foe to jump out and steal the pot from him. The pot that he now has his hand hovering over.
"Stop looking at me!" I honestly think he's lost it at this point, until I realize that he's talking to me.
"What do you mean?"
"You're looking at me, watching me."
"I didn't know I wasn't allowed to look at you." I smirk. He's almost at the stage where he's fun to tease again. He was too pissy before and before that he was too sick. Soon...ah yes, very soon I would have more than my revenge to entertain me.
"Well you're not. And don't be looking at my coffee either because you aren't getting any of it after what you did."
"Dammit Daniel, for the last time. Ferretti switched the bags, not me."
"Who told him to do it?"
"I thought he would have clued in after everything that happened to you that causing you to go into added withdrawal would have been a no-no."
"Well obviously he didn't."
"Obviously."
He rolled his eyes, turning slightly so that he was facing more towards the pot of coffee than to me. I stifled a response and instead turned my eyes back towards the game boy. It was a sin to even have this game inside the machine but there was quite literally nothing else for me to do.
I flipped the power back on, turning the sound off, refusing to listen to the noise someone had deemed music. As I began to move the wildly disproportioned woman down the street, Loran walked over, sitting down beside me.
"Hey."
"Hello." The kid was staring, mouth slightly opened as he watched the figure on the screen reach out and pluck the kitten from the tree. I didn't know if he was gaping because of the game or because of the distorted Earth view of a perfect woman. Contrary to popular opinion I do not fall into that category of men. Sure, I suppose, in some way I understand what is so appealing about the blonde doll but honestly I've always been more the natural beauty type. I prefer my women to be real and not manufactured.
"What's that?"
"This, is a game boy. Very important piece of Earth technology."
"A game boy?"
"Wanna try?" I, under normal circumstances would be reluctant to give up my game boy but Barbie: Pet Rescue did not fall under normal circumstances.
"Sure." I showed Loran the basics on how to play and the kid caught on quickly. Soon he was entranced by the low glow of the game boy screen and I knew that we wouldn't hear from Loran until the batteries died.
I stood up and made my way over to Daniel and the pot, deciding to risk it all and pry a cup of what the military deemed coffee away from the not quite caffeinated enough archeologist.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting a cup of coffee, what does it look like?"
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"And just who made you King of the coffee bean Dr. Jackson?"
"This is my coffee Jack."
"Correction, this coffee belongs to the US military...so ergo, it belongs to me." He looks at me, blinking. I think perhaps the 'ergo' has thrown him. He reluctantly lets me take the pot of coffee, pouring myself a cup. I hand it back and sit beside him.
"How're the eyes?"
"Peachy."
"That good? Look Daniel, I'm sorry alright? I didn't think Ferretti would have switched your coffee after everything that happened, and I'm sorry about the two black eyes. I didn't mean either one..."
"Sigh I know Jack. It's alright. Of course, you do know that I am going to have to kill Lou when we get back."
"I'll help." We both grin at this and sit, quietly contemplating our revenge, when I hear what I am assuming is the equivalent of a Jaffa curse, coming from Teal'c. "Something wrong T?"
"Erica Kane did not get to have her nuptials O'Neill."
"What?" I look over at Daniel who shakes his head in that 'you don't wanna know' manner. Turning back to Teal'c I see he is reading something. "What are you reading Teal'c?"
"Major Ferretti was kind enough to send through my issue of soap opera digest O'Neill."
"Soap Opera...ForCryinOutLoud T, please, please tell me you aren't hooked on soaps?!"
"Indeed, I am not O'Neill." A noise comes from Daniel, a noise that sounds very much like a snort. I turn back to Daniel, seeing him biting his lip.
"He is, isn't he?" Daniel just manages a nod before we hear a 'YES!' coming from the corner. We turn and see Loran, now a full fledged gamer, grinning as he obviously manages to save some poor pet in need of rescue.
"I can't believe you're letting him use your game boy...you usually won't let anyone near it."
"Yes, well, I usually have a 'real' game to play...not some...Barbie: Pet Rescue." The words are bitter in my mouth. Dead...the man was SO dead.
"We could always get the SGC to send through Monopoly."
"True...or we could get them to send through some cards. We could play gin."
"I'm not good at gin."
"I know." Winking at Daniel I stand and head over to the MALP. Ferretti must have sent through something better than that thing Loran was playing. What's this? I smile, thinking just maybe Ferretti had redeemed himself...slightly. At the bottom of my bag is a package of M&M's. There must be 2 lbs of M&M's here!! Now it's just a matter of...do I share them?
"What are you smiling about Jack?"
"What? Oh...nothing Danny."
"Right, what's in the bag?"
"Nothing...I'm uh...thinking of a joke Teal'c told me."
"Ok, now I KNOW something is in there. What else did Ferretti send you?"
"He only sent what you've seen." I try to close the bag, but a caffinated Daniel is a quick Daniel and he's grabbing for the bag before I can move it from his reach.
"M&M's! He sent you M&M's!!!" Daniel is grinning from ear to ear, then...he isn't. "You weren't going to share?!?!" Uh oh.
"Of course not...I mean...Of course I was going to share. Would I keep all of these for myself?"
"Yes." Damn Skippy.
"Hey! I would not."
"Yes you would."
"Wouldn't!"
"Would!"
"What's going on?"
"Jack wasn't going to share the M&M's Lou sent him with us."
"Sir?!" Double uh oh
"I was too Carter!"
"Then why were you trying to hide them?" Hmmm...good question.
"I wasn't...I was...It was going to be a surprise." Surprise...yeah that sounds good.
"What was going to be a surprise O'Neill?"
"He has M&M's Teal'c and wasn't going to share."
"OhFor...I told you already Daniel that I WAS going to share."
"You would keep all the M&M's for yourself O'Neill?" OK, never, ever keep chocolate from Teal'c. He likes M&M's almost as much as he likes ice cream.
"No...I wasn't T. I was saving them."
"For what Jack?" Argh! Shut up Daniel!!!
"Well, since you already know about them, there is no point in even mentioning the surprise. Anyone want some M&M's?" I smile sweetly at the three members of my team, who all look as if they have murderous thoughts running through their minds. Daniel reaches out, grabbing the bag that has MY M&M's in it. "Hey! Those are for everyone Daniel."
He passes the bag to Carter, after having taken a huge handful. The boy has freakishly long fingers. Carter and then Teal'c take some, giving the bag, not to me, but back to Daniel. Daniel heads towards Loran, Placing a pile beside him. The kid's eyes barely leaving the screen of the gameboy. In between rescuing helpless animals he snatches the candy from beside him, stuffing it into his mouth.
When the bag is finally handed back to me, there is little more than a handful of my M&M's left. They ate 2 WHOLE POUNDS of MY candy!!! I will not kill them, I will not kill them. "You ate 2 lbs of M&M's!!!"
"We left you some."
"Some? There's barely enough here to feed a bird!"
"Birds do not eat M&M's O'Neill."
"I know that! How could you eat all my candy?!"
"I thought it was for everyone Jack?"
"Well it wasn't!! All my candy is gone...gone....what a world, what a world."
"Stop being so dramatic Jack."
"That's it!" I lunge for Daniel, and feel myself being lifted off the floor as Teal'c grabs me, stopping me from strangling my pain in the mik'ta archeologist. "Let me go Teal'c!"
"I will not. You will not harm Daniel Jackson O'Neill."
"Oh, but I will...just as soon as you let me go!!!"
"I think I'm going to go take a walk outside. Wanna come along Sam?" Run, run little man.
"Sure Daniel."
"We'll see you later Jack." Oh you can count on that Daniel.
"Bye Sir."
"Will you behave yourself O'Neill?"
"I'm not a child ForCryinOutLoud. Let me down Teal'c." He places me back on my feet and I glare at him. Taking my measly handful of M&M's I walk over to the corner and plop down on the floor. Just as I begin to place the first few candy in my mouth there is a shadow in front of me.
"Hi Jack."
"Hello Loran."
"Can I have some more of those things Daniel gave me?"
I sigh, holding the bag out to the smiling kid before me. I know when I'm beat. That damn lady luck is just pissing on my parade this week. Now...how to make amends so the next 13 days don't kill me.
I'll kill him. A slow and painful death. No wait, that's too good for him. I mean, here I thought all along that he was a friend. Amazing how wrong you can be about someone. See, cause I know that a friend, that knew I was stuck on another planet, bored out of my mind with 2 scientists and 2 aliens, would never, ever send me Barbie: Pet Rescue.
I sat in the corner staring angrily at the game boy screen blinking at me. There before me stood 'Barbie' dressed as some sort of rescue ranger, and behind her was a kitten stuck in a tree. I shut off the game boy, distressed that what was supposed to be my salvation from boredom had turned into something nightmares were made of.
Scrubbing my hands roughly over my face I try desperately to scrub away the pictures of the game running through my mind. Ferretti was SO a dead man when we got back. I had 2 more weeks to spend planning every meticulous detail of the demise of Major Louis Ferretti. I grinned.
There were oh so many things to pay the Major back for. There was the most serious, the sacrilege against all gamedom with Barbie: Pet Rescue, and then there was the coffee incident. I still can't believe that Ferretti had changed the coffee in Daniel's stash, especially after everything that had happened to Daniel. I mean the man almost takes a header off his balcony and Ferretti thinks that it would be smart to put him into caffeine withdrawal on top of the withdrawal we were all already experiencing? I shook my head. Oh I will definitely show Ferretti the errors of his ways.
Daniel had avoided me all morning, contenting himself with sitting by the coffee pot, making one cup after another. He apparently was trying to make up for the caffeine he had not consumed when drinking the decaf coffee. It wasn't my fault, I hadn't even thought to tell Ferretti not to do it. I didn't think I had to tell him. I would never deprive Daniel of caffeine in a situation like this on purpose. It was just once again an example of lady luck biting me in the ass. I don't know what I did, but whatever it was, it must have been something bad to have her so pissed off at me.
I watched as Carter set about asking Daniel for a cup of coffee. Everyone, including Teal'c had been keeping their distance as he hadn't quite gotten the caffeine level in his blood back to normal. He was still a little short tempered and it didn't take much to piss him off. Everyone was being extra nice to the keeper of the coffee pot, lest he decide not to share with the lowly hoards that would be the rest of us.
"Hi Daniel."
"Hey Sam."
"How are you feeling?"
"Better...now that I have real coffee." He glares in my direction, and I'm tempted to yet again protest my innocence but know it will fall on deaf ears. I can deal with this...as long as I have my thoughts of revenge to sustain me.
"Would you like some coffee Sam?"
"Sure." She holds out her cup and Daniel's, slightly less shaking hand, pours her a cup. She grins and walks back to study the light while Daniel wraps his hands around his cup of coffee. He is glancing every now and then around him and I think the caffeine withdrawal must have been worse than we thought because I have to say the boy looks like he's waiting for some imaginary foe to jump out and steal the pot from him. The pot that he now has his hand hovering over.
"Stop looking at me!" I honestly think he's lost it at this point, until I realize that he's talking to me.
"What do you mean?"
"You're looking at me, watching me."
"I didn't know I wasn't allowed to look at you." I smirk. He's almost at the stage where he's fun to tease again. He was too pissy before and before that he was too sick. Soon...ah yes, very soon I would have more than my revenge to entertain me.
"Well you're not. And don't be looking at my coffee either because you aren't getting any of it after what you did."
"Dammit Daniel, for the last time. Ferretti switched the bags, not me."
"Who told him to do it?"
"I thought he would have clued in after everything that happened to you that causing you to go into added withdrawal would have been a no-no."
"Well obviously he didn't."
"Obviously."
He rolled his eyes, turning slightly so that he was facing more towards the pot of coffee than to me. I stifled a response and instead turned my eyes back towards the game boy. It was a sin to even have this game inside the machine but there was quite literally nothing else for me to do.
I flipped the power back on, turning the sound off, refusing to listen to the noise someone had deemed music. As I began to move the wildly disproportioned woman down the street, Loran walked over, sitting down beside me.
"Hey."
"Hello." The kid was staring, mouth slightly opened as he watched the figure on the screen reach out and pluck the kitten from the tree. I didn't know if he was gaping because of the game or because of the distorted Earth view of a perfect woman. Contrary to popular opinion I do not fall into that category of men. Sure, I suppose, in some way I understand what is so appealing about the blonde doll but honestly I've always been more the natural beauty type. I prefer my women to be real and not manufactured.
"What's that?"
"This, is a game boy. Very important piece of Earth technology."
"A game boy?"
"Wanna try?" I, under normal circumstances would be reluctant to give up my game boy but Barbie: Pet Rescue did not fall under normal circumstances.
"Sure." I showed Loran the basics on how to play and the kid caught on quickly. Soon he was entranced by the low glow of the game boy screen and I knew that we wouldn't hear from Loran until the batteries died.
I stood up and made my way over to Daniel and the pot, deciding to risk it all and pry a cup of what the military deemed coffee away from the not quite caffeinated enough archeologist.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting a cup of coffee, what does it look like?"
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"And just who made you King of the coffee bean Dr. Jackson?"
"This is my coffee Jack."
"Correction, this coffee belongs to the US military...so ergo, it belongs to me." He looks at me, blinking. I think perhaps the 'ergo' has thrown him. He reluctantly lets me take the pot of coffee, pouring myself a cup. I hand it back and sit beside him.
"How're the eyes?"
"Peachy."
"That good? Look Daniel, I'm sorry alright? I didn't think Ferretti would have switched your coffee after everything that happened, and I'm sorry about the two black eyes. I didn't mean either one..."
"Sigh I know Jack. It's alright. Of course, you do know that I am going to have to kill Lou when we get back."
"I'll help." We both grin at this and sit, quietly contemplating our revenge, when I hear what I am assuming is the equivalent of a Jaffa curse, coming from Teal'c. "Something wrong T?"
"Erica Kane did not get to have her nuptials O'Neill."
"What?" I look over at Daniel who shakes his head in that 'you don't wanna know' manner. Turning back to Teal'c I see he is reading something. "What are you reading Teal'c?"
"Major Ferretti was kind enough to send through my issue of soap opera digest O'Neill."
"Soap Opera...ForCryinOutLoud T, please, please tell me you aren't hooked on soaps?!"
"Indeed, I am not O'Neill." A noise comes from Daniel, a noise that sounds very much like a snort. I turn back to Daniel, seeing him biting his lip.
"He is, isn't he?" Daniel just manages a nod before we hear a 'YES!' coming from the corner. We turn and see Loran, now a full fledged gamer, grinning as he obviously manages to save some poor pet in need of rescue.
"I can't believe you're letting him use your game boy...you usually won't let anyone near it."
"Yes, well, I usually have a 'real' game to play...not some...Barbie: Pet Rescue." The words are bitter in my mouth. Dead...the man was SO dead.
"We could always get the SGC to send through Monopoly."
"True...or we could get them to send through some cards. We could play gin."
"I'm not good at gin."
"I know." Winking at Daniel I stand and head over to the MALP. Ferretti must have sent through something better than that thing Loran was playing. What's this? I smile, thinking just maybe Ferretti had redeemed himself...slightly. At the bottom of my bag is a package of M&M's. There must be 2 lbs of M&M's here!! Now it's just a matter of...do I share them?
"What are you smiling about Jack?"
"What? Oh...nothing Danny."
"Right, what's in the bag?"
"Nothing...I'm uh...thinking of a joke Teal'c told me."
"Ok, now I KNOW something is in there. What else did Ferretti send you?"
"He only sent what you've seen." I try to close the bag, but a caffinated Daniel is a quick Daniel and he's grabbing for the bag before I can move it from his reach.
"M&M's! He sent you M&M's!!!" Daniel is grinning from ear to ear, then...he isn't. "You weren't going to share?!?!" Uh oh.
"Of course not...I mean...Of course I was going to share. Would I keep all of these for myself?"
"Yes." Damn Skippy.
"Hey! I would not."
"Yes you would."
"Wouldn't!"
"Would!"
"What's going on?"
"Jack wasn't going to share the M&M's Lou sent him with us."
"Sir?!" Double uh oh
"I was too Carter!"
"Then why were you trying to hide them?" Hmmm...good question.
"I wasn't...I was...It was going to be a surprise." Surprise...yeah that sounds good.
"What was going to be a surprise O'Neill?"
"He has M&M's Teal'c and wasn't going to share."
"OhFor...I told you already Daniel that I WAS going to share."
"You would keep all the M&M's for yourself O'Neill?" OK, never, ever keep chocolate from Teal'c. He likes M&M's almost as much as he likes ice cream.
"No...I wasn't T. I was saving them."
"For what Jack?" Argh! Shut up Daniel!!!
"Well, since you already know about them, there is no point in even mentioning the surprise. Anyone want some M&M's?" I smile sweetly at the three members of my team, who all look as if they have murderous thoughts running through their minds. Daniel reaches out, grabbing the bag that has MY M&M's in it. "Hey! Those are for everyone Daniel."
He passes the bag to Carter, after having taken a huge handful. The boy has freakishly long fingers. Carter and then Teal'c take some, giving the bag, not to me, but back to Daniel. Daniel heads towards Loran, Placing a pile beside him. The kid's eyes barely leaving the screen of the gameboy. In between rescuing helpless animals he snatches the candy from beside him, stuffing it into his mouth.
When the bag is finally handed back to me, there is little more than a handful of my M&M's left. They ate 2 WHOLE POUNDS of MY candy!!! I will not kill them, I will not kill them. "You ate 2 lbs of M&M's!!!"
"We left you some."
"Some? There's barely enough here to feed a bird!"
"Birds do not eat M&M's O'Neill."
"I know that! How could you eat all my candy?!"
"I thought it was for everyone Jack?"
"Well it wasn't!! All my candy is gone...gone....what a world, what a world."
"Stop being so dramatic Jack."
"That's it!" I lunge for Daniel, and feel myself being lifted off the floor as Teal'c grabs me, stopping me from strangling my pain in the mik'ta archeologist. "Let me go Teal'c!"
"I will not. You will not harm Daniel Jackson O'Neill."
"Oh, but I will...just as soon as you let me go!!!"
"I think I'm going to go take a walk outside. Wanna come along Sam?" Run, run little man.
"Sure Daniel."
"We'll see you later Jack." Oh you can count on that Daniel.
"Bye Sir."
"Will you behave yourself O'Neill?"
"I'm not a child ForCryinOutLoud. Let me down Teal'c." He places me back on my feet and I glare at him. Taking my measly handful of M&M's I walk over to the corner and plop down on the floor. Just as I begin to place the first few candy in my mouth there is a shadow in front of me.
"Hi Jack."
"Hello Loran."
"Can I have some more of those things Daniel gave me?"
I sigh, holding the bag out to the smiling kid before me. I know when I'm beat. That damn lady luck is just pissing on my parade this week. Now...how to make amends so the next 13 days don't kill me.