A/N: This is going to be the last "slow" chapter in the fic. Really, I just wanted to establish the kind of life Naruto leads, as well as his relationship with his kids. Things are going to start progressing MUCH faster in the next chapter (which I am going to start working on like, now, actually). The next update will come in the next day or two, I hope.

There will also be a ton of SasuNaru and GaaraNaru moments to come, for those who are only reading this for one of those two pairings. Although, I do have to warn you that it is SasuNaru in the end.

In response to questions asked in reviews... Role playing is something that can be done either online or in real life, where you get together with a group of other people and essentially build yourselves new personalities. Then, you get to interact with one another and maintain those different personalities. It has the potential to be both fun and scary.

Also, Sasuke really will be living in a tent in this fic. Not online, but for real.

Reviews will make the crack come faster. Much, much faster, actually. They also make the author happier than you guys could imagine.

Warnings: AU, drama, character bastardization, yaoi, het, language, infidelity, potential lemon, complete and utter stupidity. It's supposed to be funny, in a really omgwtf kind of way.

Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for any implosions of brains or bashing of heads that occur as a result of reading this fic. I don't actually do this stuff. I just record it (and snicker at it). Also, I don't own Naruto. But I'm sure you could have guessed that, since I'm about to bastardize the characters three ways from Sunday for my own (and your) amusement.

..........................................................................................................

As it turned out, Udon was the crying child, although Moegi wasn't far behind him judging by the scrunched-up look on her face. Both of their attention was focused on Konohamaru, who was standing on the couch with the remote held as high above his head as he could manage.

"Give it back, Konohamaru!" Moegi shrieked, climbing onto the couch and standing unsteadily next to her older brother in a vain attempt to reach the control. "We were WATCHING that!"

Briefly, Naruto glanced at the television screen. He had enough time to see that the current program was definitely NOT something that had been parentally condoned before a dull thump and a new round of sobbing brought his attention back to the kids.

Konohamaru was on the floor, clutching his head and sobbing. Moegi had scrambled off the couch to retrieve the forgotten remote control, beaming triumphantly as she fumbled with the buttons. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that she had pushed her brother off the couch. With a small growl, Naruto started forward, making his presence known.

A quick check ensured that Konohamaru was not seriously injured, much to Naruto's relief. His immediate concern gone, he turned on the three kids, frowning darkly. "How many times do I have to tell you three not to fight? Especially not over something as stupid as a television remote!"

"But we were watching a show and Konohamaru changed the channel," Moegi protested, tears welling up in her too-wide eyes again as she stared at her father.

The innocent act would have worked on most people, but not Naruto. He had seen it too many times to be affected. "That was no excuse to push your brother off the couch," he reminded her pointedly. There was no way she was getting out of this without a punishment.

She opened her mouth to protest, but Naruto never gave her the chance. "To your rooms, both of you."

"Udon bit me when I tried to take the control," Konohamaru piped up between sniffles, glaring at the younger boy as he held up his arm for inspection. It was indeed red. The blonde closed his eyes and prayed briefly for patience before refocusing his glare on all three of his children.

"Udon, too, then. All three of you to your rooms. Now."

Surprisingly, they didn't argue. They trooped into their rooms obediently while Naruto followed a few steps behind. He could kill two birds with one stone and give Konohamaru and Moegi some school work to do while they were on time-out. That would keep them busy for the better part of an hour, at least.

The youngest, Udon, actually curled up next to his sulking brother on Konohamaru's bed and snuggled in as though for a nap, an unexpected break for Naruto. Not only did a sleeping Udon pretty much ensure that he and Konohamaru would refrain from fighting, but also it freed Naruto from having to find something non-television related for the young boy to do.

It didn't take long to get all three of them settled in, but Naruto still hurried back to his computer. He was anxious to see what Sasuke had said in his short absence.

The first thing he noticed was that Sasuke had responded to his question. The second thing he noticed was that Sasuke logged off of the MUD as Naruto sat down at the computer again. Damnit.

The blonde couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt at having left his companion alone for so long without so much as a warning of his absence, but more than that he felt strangely sad that Sasuke was gone. He realized with a start that he had actually been looking forward to spending some time getting to know the other man a bit better. He had never actually seen Sasuke alone before, and now he regretted the loss of that time.

With a slightly heavier heart, he turned his attention to the words on the screen that Sasuke had left for him, blinking rapidly as he read.

"I want to get to know you better. I really do. I have seen the way you act both in character and as your real self, and I have to say that I am intrigued. Perhaps our characters could develop a relationship. I know that I wouldn't mind. I know that my girlfriend would not see you as a threat since you're a male. What do you think?"

And then, after that: "Hello? Are you there? Well, think on it. I have to go for a while, but I'll be back in a little bit. Tell me what you want to do."

With a sigh, Naruto flopped backward into the comforting embrace of his chair. He didn't know so much about the dating a stranger online thing, but now more than ever he was sorry that he had missed the chance to spend some time with Sasuke.

Besides, if he got to know the other man a bit better they wouldn't be strangers, now would they?

The thought put a smile on Naruto's face as he sat in the silent heat of the trailer and contemplated.

There really wasn't much of a question. The more Naruto thought about it, the more he realized that he was beyond eager to learn more about Sasuke in all of his depth. He had never been quite so excited about the prospect of getting to know anyone. What was so different about Sasuke, the boy that he had only known online for a few weeks?

Naruto highly suspected that he was going to find out.