Disclaimer: Haven't you asked this before?!? NO, I DON'T OWN THEM! Would you please stop bugging me about it!
JUST ANOTHER: WEEKEND AWAY FROM THE OFFICE
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"Agent Hopkins! Agent Kingsley!" Skinner's voice boomed.
Scully snickered, looks like the two were finally caught. It was only a matter of time. I mean, don't they have cameras in them?
"Yes…yes, sir." She heard Hopkins say, his voice cracking. He knew he was in trouble.
"Just what the hell do you think you're doing? That is government property you are corrupting!" He sighed, "but, it is the weekend, and I can not deal with this! Now, pull up your pants and your carebear boxers and get out of my sight!"
Scully stifled a laugh as she heard the zipping of a zipper and then heavy footfall running away from the close proximity of Skinner's voice. She calmed herself down and opened the door of the stairs, where she came face to face with a very red Skinner.
"Good afternoon, sir. Has anybody ever told you that red is your color?"
He beamed, "many times before, Agent."
"It brings out the shine of your head. It becomes you, sir."
"Thank you, Agent. Have a nice weekend."
"Of course, sir."
"Oh, Agent."
"Yes, sir?"
"I've recently received information about Agents Fowley and Spender, had you heard anything about a relationship between them that was more than just…platonic?"
"Well, sir. I have seen the pictures."
"Ah."
"Who knew Spender had it in him, eh? It's sad he had to stoop down so low as to being involved with somebody like Fowley, but then again, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it, sir?"
"You think there's something between the smoking man and Fowley."
"I've got 35 dollars in the office pool that says I do. We all know she's been in cahoots with him for some time now, why do you think he hasn't killed her yet, her looks? Ha, that's a joke if I've ever heard one. Oh yeah, he's been screwing her. That's for sure."
Skinner thought this over for a second, then shuddered. "That brings a worse mental picture than what I just witnessed in the elevator."
"Agents Hopkins and Kingsley? Yeah, the two are an unattractive couple, unlikely one, too. I mean, Hopkins is very short and wimpy, he's not much to look at. Hard to imagine what Kingsley see's in him, but then again, Kingsley isn't a very smart man when it comes to matters of the heart, you know, I think he and Krycheck had something going on for a while there, he was devastated when Krycheck left for the syndicate. I didn't think he'd ever get over him. It was so sad watching him mope around, devastating."
Skinner grimaced, "well, thank you for that, Scully. I'll try not to think about those images while I sleep tonight."
"Sorry, sir. Guess I just got lost in my train of thought."
"Do you know what Mulder has planed for the weekend?"
"Nope, he didn't tell me. I bet he'll be on that damned game the whole weekend long. Ever since I stole…er…bought him that new laptop he's not been off it. It's all fine and dandy if you ask me, as long as I don't have to go to some damn ghost town and search for aliens and all the social outcast of the world."
"I've been wondering why he hasn't asked for an assignment, now, which game is that?"
"Oh, 'The Sims', sir."
"Ah, I've got that game. Very time consuming."
"Yes it is, sir."
Skinner looked at his watch, "well goodbye, Agent. And, make sure Mulder gets out of the office for at least a few hours of the weekend, and that's an order."
"Yessir."
Skinner turned to walk down the hall and in turn walked straight into Agent Hopkins, who blushed furiously.
"Er, sorry, Sir."
"HOPKINS! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT." The redness in his bald head was starting to return.
"Wow, sir. Red is really your color." Hopkins told him.
Skinner started to thank him for the compliment before he realized that Hopkins was gay, and no longer looking at his face but another part of his anatomy.
"It's really, really your color." Hopkins said, staring downwards.
"EW! EW! EW!" Skinner screamed (very girlishly) as he ran down the halls and away from Hopkins as fast as he could.
Hopkins blew on his nails then rubbed them against his shirt (in victory). "Well, that was a whole hell of a lot easier than I thought it would be." He noticed Scully standing a few feet away laughing her ass of. "Oh, Scully. Have you seen my bitch…eh…I mean, Agent Kingsley in the last 10 minutes?"
She shook her head through her laughter, but couldn't manage a "no".
"Damn, there goes my weekend." Hopkins muttered, "I'll have to go find Robertson."
'Robertson?' Scully thought. 'Damn, how many guys in this damn building are gay?'
"20." Hopkins said.
"Huh?"
"Not counting myself of course, so that'd be 21. But, out of the 20 others, only 5 are good in bed. And trust me, I know."
"What?"
"There are 20 other guys in this building that are gay."
"I didn't ask how many there were."
"But, you were thinking it, weren't you? And before you ask, no, I can't read minds. It's just most of the women in the building wonder about that whenever I mention one of my many lovers. Kingsley and I don't have a steady relationship. We just like to screw in the elevators. To bad that can't happen here anymore. We could always go to another building, I guess. Anyway, you were thinking about it, no?"
"Yeah, I guess I was."
"See. Now, about Robertson?"
"I think he's still in his office."
A smile appeared on Hopkins' face. "Perfect." He said while rubbing his hands together, then he ran off down the hallway.
Scully started to laugh again. She was still laughing when she reached the basement (after walking down all four flights, don't ask why she was on the fourth floor to leave, not even she knew). Mulder looked up from his game at his very red partner.
"What's so funny?"
She calmed, "Mulder, did you know that there are 21 homosexual males in this building? I wonder if I've ever asked one of them out…"
Mulder's eyebrows raised.
"I mean, metaphorically. It's not like I've ever asked any of the men in this building out." She spat out quickly, hoping to fix her mistake.
'Damn it, he's not supposed to know I've got a life!! If Dana was here I wouldn't have said that.' She sniffled thinking of Dana.
"Well, I knew about Hopkins, Kingsley, Robertson, and Turner." He shuddered, "they invited me to a slumber party once, thankfully, I was busy that night with Agent Daniels." He thought about what he said, "oh, not that Agent Daniels and I have dated or anything…she, ah, needed help fixing her shirt…the buttons…er…fell off?"
Scully blinked, "ok, Mulder."
Mulder blinked, "you believe me?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
A smile spread across his face, "oh. No reason, of course. What was it you wanted?"
"Skinner ordered me to take you out, get you away from the office for a little bit. So, grab your coat. We're going to get dinner."
"Scculllyyy, I'm not done with my game yet."
"You don't get done with that game, Mulder. It goes on forever. Now save the damned thing, I want Chinese!!" She yelled.
"Alright, alright. PMS much?"
"Actually, no. I'm just bitchy by nature."
"That's for sure." He mumbled as he saved his game.
"What did you just say?"
"Huh?" Mulder said, 'that's right, Mulder' he thought, 'feign innocence.'
"Huh?" Scully was confused again, what had she been talking with Mulder about? She was a bit scatter-brained.
"What?" Mulder said in frustration. He was trying to save his game!
"Damn it, Mulder! Just get off the damn computer!"
"You didn't say, 'what?', Scully, you've got to say what!"
"Fine, 'what?', there you happy now?"
Mulder smiled, "yes. Very." His game was saved and he shut down the computer. "Now, about that food."
"You're paying."
"Damn."
a/n: ok, so I know it's not as funny as the other one was, but, bare with me, it'll get better as I go along. Anywho, review!
JUST ANOTHER: WEEKEND AWAY FROM THE OFFICE
----------
"Agent Hopkins! Agent Kingsley!" Skinner's voice boomed.
Scully snickered, looks like the two were finally caught. It was only a matter of time. I mean, don't they have cameras in them?
"Yes…yes, sir." She heard Hopkins say, his voice cracking. He knew he was in trouble.
"Just what the hell do you think you're doing? That is government property you are corrupting!" He sighed, "but, it is the weekend, and I can not deal with this! Now, pull up your pants and your carebear boxers and get out of my sight!"
Scully stifled a laugh as she heard the zipping of a zipper and then heavy footfall running away from the close proximity of Skinner's voice. She calmed herself down and opened the door of the stairs, where she came face to face with a very red Skinner.
"Good afternoon, sir. Has anybody ever told you that red is your color?"
He beamed, "many times before, Agent."
"It brings out the shine of your head. It becomes you, sir."
"Thank you, Agent. Have a nice weekend."
"Of course, sir."
"Oh, Agent."
"Yes, sir?"
"I've recently received information about Agents Fowley and Spender, had you heard anything about a relationship between them that was more than just…platonic?"
"Well, sir. I have seen the pictures."
"Ah."
"Who knew Spender had it in him, eh? It's sad he had to stoop down so low as to being involved with somebody like Fowley, but then again, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it, sir?"
"You think there's something between the smoking man and Fowley."
"I've got 35 dollars in the office pool that says I do. We all know she's been in cahoots with him for some time now, why do you think he hasn't killed her yet, her looks? Ha, that's a joke if I've ever heard one. Oh yeah, he's been screwing her. That's for sure."
Skinner thought this over for a second, then shuddered. "That brings a worse mental picture than what I just witnessed in the elevator."
"Agents Hopkins and Kingsley? Yeah, the two are an unattractive couple, unlikely one, too. I mean, Hopkins is very short and wimpy, he's not much to look at. Hard to imagine what Kingsley see's in him, but then again, Kingsley isn't a very smart man when it comes to matters of the heart, you know, I think he and Krycheck had something going on for a while there, he was devastated when Krycheck left for the syndicate. I didn't think he'd ever get over him. It was so sad watching him mope around, devastating."
Skinner grimaced, "well, thank you for that, Scully. I'll try not to think about those images while I sleep tonight."
"Sorry, sir. Guess I just got lost in my train of thought."
"Do you know what Mulder has planed for the weekend?"
"Nope, he didn't tell me. I bet he'll be on that damned game the whole weekend long. Ever since I stole…er…bought him that new laptop he's not been off it. It's all fine and dandy if you ask me, as long as I don't have to go to some damn ghost town and search for aliens and all the social outcast of the world."
"I've been wondering why he hasn't asked for an assignment, now, which game is that?"
"Oh, 'The Sims', sir."
"Ah, I've got that game. Very time consuming."
"Yes it is, sir."
Skinner looked at his watch, "well goodbye, Agent. And, make sure Mulder gets out of the office for at least a few hours of the weekend, and that's an order."
"Yessir."
Skinner turned to walk down the hall and in turn walked straight into Agent Hopkins, who blushed furiously.
"Er, sorry, Sir."
"HOPKINS! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT." The redness in his bald head was starting to return.
"Wow, sir. Red is really your color." Hopkins told him.
Skinner started to thank him for the compliment before he realized that Hopkins was gay, and no longer looking at his face but another part of his anatomy.
"It's really, really your color." Hopkins said, staring downwards.
"EW! EW! EW!" Skinner screamed (very girlishly) as he ran down the halls and away from Hopkins as fast as he could.
Hopkins blew on his nails then rubbed them against his shirt (in victory). "Well, that was a whole hell of a lot easier than I thought it would be." He noticed Scully standing a few feet away laughing her ass of. "Oh, Scully. Have you seen my bitch…eh…I mean, Agent Kingsley in the last 10 minutes?"
She shook her head through her laughter, but couldn't manage a "no".
"Damn, there goes my weekend." Hopkins muttered, "I'll have to go find Robertson."
'Robertson?' Scully thought. 'Damn, how many guys in this damn building are gay?'
"20." Hopkins said.
"Huh?"
"Not counting myself of course, so that'd be 21. But, out of the 20 others, only 5 are good in bed. And trust me, I know."
"What?"
"There are 20 other guys in this building that are gay."
"I didn't ask how many there were."
"But, you were thinking it, weren't you? And before you ask, no, I can't read minds. It's just most of the women in the building wonder about that whenever I mention one of my many lovers. Kingsley and I don't have a steady relationship. We just like to screw in the elevators. To bad that can't happen here anymore. We could always go to another building, I guess. Anyway, you were thinking about it, no?"
"Yeah, I guess I was."
"See. Now, about Robertson?"
"I think he's still in his office."
A smile appeared on Hopkins' face. "Perfect." He said while rubbing his hands together, then he ran off down the hallway.
Scully started to laugh again. She was still laughing when she reached the basement (after walking down all four flights, don't ask why she was on the fourth floor to leave, not even she knew). Mulder looked up from his game at his very red partner.
"What's so funny?"
She calmed, "Mulder, did you know that there are 21 homosexual males in this building? I wonder if I've ever asked one of them out…"
Mulder's eyebrows raised.
"I mean, metaphorically. It's not like I've ever asked any of the men in this building out." She spat out quickly, hoping to fix her mistake.
'Damn it, he's not supposed to know I've got a life!! If Dana was here I wouldn't have said that.' She sniffled thinking of Dana.
"Well, I knew about Hopkins, Kingsley, Robertson, and Turner." He shuddered, "they invited me to a slumber party once, thankfully, I was busy that night with Agent Daniels." He thought about what he said, "oh, not that Agent Daniels and I have dated or anything…she, ah, needed help fixing her shirt…the buttons…er…fell off?"
Scully blinked, "ok, Mulder."
Mulder blinked, "you believe me?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
A smile spread across his face, "oh. No reason, of course. What was it you wanted?"
"Skinner ordered me to take you out, get you away from the office for a little bit. So, grab your coat. We're going to get dinner."
"Scculllyyy, I'm not done with my game yet."
"You don't get done with that game, Mulder. It goes on forever. Now save the damned thing, I want Chinese!!" She yelled.
"Alright, alright. PMS much?"
"Actually, no. I'm just bitchy by nature."
"That's for sure." He mumbled as he saved his game.
"What did you just say?"
"Huh?" Mulder said, 'that's right, Mulder' he thought, 'feign innocence.'
"Huh?" Scully was confused again, what had she been talking with Mulder about? She was a bit scatter-brained.
"What?" Mulder said in frustration. He was trying to save his game!
"Damn it, Mulder! Just get off the damn computer!"
"You didn't say, 'what?', Scully, you've got to say what!"
"Fine, 'what?', there you happy now?"
Mulder smiled, "yes. Very." His game was saved and he shut down the computer. "Now, about that food."
"You're paying."
"Damn."
a/n: ok, so I know it's not as funny as the other one was, but, bare with me, it'll get better as I go along. Anywho, review!