Chapter 18: Dull Blades

A/N: So now that I've managed to write three chapters in two days, and have notes all set to go for the next one, I'm pretty sure the world must be coming to an end. Hope whoever is out there enjoys, and please feel free to leave me some reviews!

Disclaimer: What do I look like to you, an evil villain who wants to take over the world by making money on fanfiction? *lightning, thunder, cat* Ok, that was just really bad timing, I swear it! Onto the story!

Holding my breath I noticed a few things about being underwater: I apparently wasn't buoyant anymore, the water didn't sting my eyes, and I could see everything for miles. Peaking over the edge I finally saw something that momentarily shocked me.

Hyrule. Letting out a yelp of surprise I was forced to breathe in, only to discover that I can now apparently breathe water. Leaning out I realized something was wrong about this place. Everything was frozen in time, the castle, the endless fields, even the water falls in the pond seemed frozen. To top that off everything was in black and white. Everything felt wrong as I stood there staring at the ancient family's royal crest. And somehow, everything seemed right. Looking out at the frozen fields I realized I knew them from my dreams. After looking at Paddy, who seemed a bit too happy to see my surprise, I pulled myself together and jumped out of the boat.

"Now Snape, I can't tell you where we are bu-"

"Hyrule castle," I interrupted.

"…but I'll tell you later. Go get the item you nee-"

"Magical sword used by the ancient hero, better known as the Master Sword." I watched as he flip-flopped between shock and annoyance. "I spend most of my time reading large ancient books written mostly before this place was destroyed. You think they didn't mention all of that in it?"

"Maybe that's why you're so pale; all this sun has undoubtedly been good for you. Now just get inside and go to the basement already." Paddy grumbled as I went up the short flight of stairs and entered the castle.

The inside was much like the outside; black and white, and frozen. This time it was worse however, there were at least thirty of the biggest and meanest enemies I had ever fought. Moblins and Knights stood frozen in patrols all around the great hall. Moving forward I saw that the only other door was blocked by lasers, and there was no obvious switch. Looking down I noticed three large stone triangles. Nearby in the floor were several large triangle shaped indents. Giving myself a small pat on the back I walked down to them and tried to push one.

It swiveled around one point instead of going straight forward. With a groan I heard Paddy speak up. "Listen, you have to be somewhat intelligent to make it into the basement. Get this all solved and the door will open for you." Rolling my eyes I began the long and annoying process of trail and error.

After finally getting the freaking blocks pushed into their proper slots I realized I had a slight problem. I was trapped in the middle of them and they had locked into place. "Peachy." There was a slight rumbling before the stones suddenly lowered into the ground, which was now glowing yellow, allowing me to see that a door had appeared from underneath the large statue of the Hero of Time. The only similarity between us was our bad fashion sense. "Hey Paddy, what was his real name, the hero that is?"

"Gilderoy Lockhart, a great man. A fraud, but a great man." Paddy's voice sounded almost wistful to me.

"A fraud? How did he become the great hero of legend?" I looked up at his perfectly shaped and chiseled face.

"Well he took credit for doing stuff, so we made this of him." Paddy sighed.

"That doesn't ma-wait, we?" I began walking down the stairs to the basement, forgetting my annoyance that someone could take credit for doing all the junk I just did.

"Figure of speech Sniv, geez!"

I stood looking into the basement as the pirate charm stopped glowing. It was a large circular room with five knight's statues surrounding the master sword. Slowly walking over to the sword I noticed several stained glass windows depicting the six sages of old. Finally unable to resist I ran forward and yanked the sword from the stone, in a very I'm-not-going-to-be-king-of-Britton way. Once in my hands I felt the urge to swing it around several times, and after almost cutting my own hand off I stopped. Grinning madly I ran back up the stairs to discover that everything was now in color.

Moments later I was flying through the air after something had hit me in the back of the head. Getting to my feet I discovered all of the enemies had come to life. Gulping I turned tail and ran to the entrance, only to get blown backwards from the shock of electricity. Pulling out bombs I simply began tossing them everywhere I could. Smoke, explosions, screams, but most importantly green rubies dropped to the floor for me to collect as the moblins disappeared.

The Knights were the real problem. Taking a deep breath I quickly ran around each one and cut off their armor before zipping back to the front door. As they all got closer to me I dodged out of the way, allowing them to run head first into the zapper of death. The few that weren't instantly killed I took my time to go stab. "Easy as pie," I declared to the now empty hall. After the lasers stopped I went through and back out to Paddy. "Got the sword, let's go!"

"Well," he looked surprised, "well good job there. Didn't actually expect to see you back alive." Paddy began to drift us back towards the circle of light.

"Wait, you knew they were going to start moving again, didn't you?!" I hissed as he nodded.

"I had an inkling-OW! Hey, watch it tosser!" Paddy jerked as I slammed my shield into the back of his head.

"What did I tell you about warning me?" I demanded as we traveled back to the surface of the Great Sea.

"Well, fine, we're going to hit Cyclos on the way up to the Forsaken Fortress. Shoot him with your bow. Don't hit me! What if I had splintered? Or worse, been broken? Be careful or you'll have to swim your way around!" With a huff he set us sailing quickly enough to knock me onto my butt.

After several hours of sailing I discovered that something miraculous had happened. Paddy had done what'd I'd asked him to do, and had given me fair warning in advance of a dangerous situation. Too bad I hadn't believed him.

As Paddy's hull locked in place near the giant cyclone I heard a distinct froggy laugh. "Foolish creature who doesn't fear the gods! To the end of the sea with you! Let the winds of Cyclos's wrath blow you away!!!" I squinted with all my might into the swirling waters and could see him. A red frog sitting on a cloud, he looked rather pleased by the whole affair.

Pulling out my bow I looked at my three arrows and decided that it was a better chance than me surviving a trip in a cyclone. Taking careful aim I shot all three arrows at once and watched with disappointment as they missed the frog completely. "Oh brilliant work Sniv! I warned you, and now, we are going to die. Last time I ever warn you of anything, ever!" I decided to ignore the black boat's rambling and watched my arrows with detached interest. As shoddy semi-physics took over, the arrows turned back around in the extreme wind and struck the frog right in the back. "I had faith the whole time in your abilities."

"Oh shut up." I grumbled as the red frog suddenly flew right up into my face.

"That's a heck of an arm you got there!" He laughed.

"I wasn't throwing any-"

"And what an eye! No one's ever seen me in there before!" The frog continued.

"Well, it was rather skillful-" I tried to sound modest but he interrupted me again.

"You obvious have mastered the air; you must be the new wind waker!" He cackled.

"Er no, I accidentally, not on purpose or anything, kinda threw it deep into the ocean, in a not trying to ruin everything way…"

"…oh. Well, all the same. So my young…eh…"the frog looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Potion Maker," I filled in.

"Right, well my young Potion Maker, you can use my adorable little cyclones to get around. They'll be so happy! Yesh dey will, who's so happy? Yesh you! Yesh you!" He cooed while looking and pointing at the cyclone. "Just play this little ditty." He suddenly zipped down, then right, then left, and then up. "And then you can get around like the wind!"

"Are you related to Hagrid?" I asked eyeing the cyclone suspiciously.

"No, why?" Cyclos looked confused.

"No reason. Thanks for the help I suppose." I waved and hoped he would simply disappear.

"!" He screamed while zipping off.

I hated those frogs, and if I never saw them again it would be too soon. Zephos had been too slow and Cyclos had reminded me of a kid with a sugar rush. Deciding that riding in a cyclone still sounded dangerous to me I turned to look at Paddy who was shocked into silence from the odd encounter.

"O…kay, off we go to the fortress." Paddy said and threw us back into the wind.

After making it all the way over to the stone structure, I realized that I had to still get in. After thinking a moment Paddy helpfully raised the cannon out and began making pew-pew noises. I rolled my eyes and tried to sound miffed by the prospect, "Well there goes our element of surprise! And for what?"

"A hot pocket?" Paddy supplemented as he drifted closer to the wooden doors.

"No, that would actually be much better than what I'll be getting." With the grin I'd fought so valiantly spread wide across my face, I grabbed a hold of the cannon.

After aiming I simply began lobbing everything we had left at the door, which was destroyed by the assault. With a grin I sailed us in and hopped out onto the stone ledge. It was time for some revenge!