SSF and Yaoichi: Kanpai!

Yaoichi: Congratulations on your first Naruto fic!

SSF: Doumo. Never thought I would really write it down though.

Yaoichi: Yeah, and I never thought you could be so perverted.

SSF: Yaoichi! (To the readers): Sorry, that was my poring. But I'm gonna replace him with a Yoyo as soon as I get a taming item. Anyway, as Yaoichi said, this is my first Naruto fic. And this is my first semikindasorta perverted fic ever! I hope you enjoy yourself somehow. 'Coz I sure did enjoy writing this wild fantasy of mine down. Well there you go. Douzo!

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Everybody Loves Naruto!
ShinSeiFuji

"Man, I'm beat," Naruto sighed as he seated himself on the ground. It was a hot summer day and our blonde whiskered hero was catching his breath while seeking shade from a big tree. Not too far from him also sat a pretty boy of raven hair and pale skin, whose top is rather missing, and panting too from what appears to be exhaustion.

Now then, that's two boys rapidly breathing, and one is also topless, if I may add. A yaoi fangirl would quickly jump to delicious conclusions, but unfortunately, our two heroes' relationship isn't that quite developed yet. Yet.

"All that cat chasing wore me out," Naruto said sloppily. Sasuke never ceases to be amazed at how he could still talk at a time like this. "Just where is Sakura and Kakashi-sensei? We've been trying to catch that darn cat for half a day now, and I haven't seen those two anywhere."

Sasuke snorted. Just how clueless could his dobe be. Then again, he wouldn't be too adorable without being like that. Adorable. Sasuke shook the thought away. No way did that thought just entered his consciousness. Naruto is not in a million years adorable, or so he thought.

"We shouldn't be doing missions like this in the first place. After all I'm gonna be—"

"—Hokage one day." Sasuke continued in a sarcastic tone. "We've all heard that dobe nonsense from you. Now quit whining and give me some rest."

"Heeey, it's not nonsense. And I'm no dobe!" Naruto glared at the boy sitting beside him. Sasuke's eyes remained closed and made no further motion however, which left Naruto mumbling to himself, oblivious to the fact that the raven-haired boy is enjoying every second that he got him mad.

"What a jerk," Naruto pouted. He was about to make another I-Hate-You-But-It-Makes-Me-Love-You-More comment when he noticed something lying beside him. He picked it up and saw that it was a bottle of some sort of purple liquid inside. Strange enough, the bottle has a blank label. Looking at it reminds him of something, or maybe someone, he wasn't so sure. But somewhere in his head he swore he could hear some hisses.

Curious as he always he is, he removed the cork. A strong and tempting smell filled his nostrils. "Sa— hmmm…" he was about to ask Sasuke what he thought of the mysterious thing but his clueless look was soon replaced by an evil grin.

This must be one of those energy drinks I saw in those ads. Multiplies your stamina by 200. Hehehe… if I'm gonna drink this then Sasuke-tachi will be amazed. Soon enough they'll recognize my incomparable strength and I'm gonna be Hokage. Just you wait Sasuke...

With this thought, Naruto drank the liquid all the way to the last drop.

"Aaaah… tastes somewhat like ramen." Naruto said.

"What's that dobe?" Sasuke said, opening one eye and looking at his direction. Having freshened up a bit, Sasuke picked up his shirt and put it on.

"Hmm… I don't feel any different though," Naruto said, disappointed as he let the empty bottle go. "Mou… too good to be true."

Sasuke was about to ask another question when a familiar figure came in sight. It was Kakashi-sensei.

"Yo, caught the cat yet?" Kakashi said with a grin one couldn't see yet would instantly recognize as naughty.

"You tell us, sensei," Naruto pouted as he stood up (Sasuke smirking in the background, he just loved how the dobe pouts), "You were missing all this time."

The two were expecting another one of Kakashi's infamous excuses, but found themselves dumbfounded when their sensei just stood there with a look of god knows what, it's just so not Kakashi.

"Sensei… daijoubu ka?" Naruto asked.

Just then, the un-Kakashi look was replaced with a sharp stare the air around Naruto just felt a hundred times hotter.

"Maa, maa, Naruto, aren't we hot today?" Kakashi said, slowly closing the distance between them.

At this Sasuke stood up, eyeing his now suspicious teacher. He could however sense that it is the same person, except that he was staring at Naruto. His Naruto.

"Eh?" was Naruto's only expression.

Kakashi kept on walking stopping only a few inches from the hot fox screaming for attention.

"Now then, why don't we make it just a little bit hotter?" Kakashi closed in and whispered to Naruto's ear, "Na.Ru.Chan!"

Naruto shivered. "S-sensei? What's gotten into you?" He stepped back until he felt the tree behind him. Kakashi extended one hand to the tree, pinning Naruto onto it.

Sasuke stood. Stared. Stood. Stared. What the hell was he supposed to do? It seemed like their teacher is making a move on his dobe. Then again, what if this is some sort of test? And what if he was wrong? It would be overreacting. Then everybody would know that he actually found the dobe too adorable to let anybody else touch him.

"Saa, hajimemasho ka?" whispered Kakashi in his low, sexy voice. "Come, come, paradise. My Naru-chan," was his last words before he bit Naruto's ear and used his free hand to feel Naruto's thighs.

Now Sasuke panicked. This was no test. And Kakashi IS hitting on his dobe. His. His. And only his.

"SENSEI!" two angry voices chorused.

Sasuke, at hearing another voice join his, looked at the other source of anger. A very angry Sakura came into picture, with fire blazing in her eyes, walking in large, heavy strides. Sasuke felt his anger dissolve and be replaced by a bewildered Wow-This-Is-One-Scary-Girl feeling.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Sakura said. Or more likely screamed to the whole world. It was as if Inner Sakura came to life.

Kakashi released Naruto and faced the kunoichi. "Err… I couldn't help it. Naru-chan is just being too cute today."

Sasuke and Sakura shivered. Kakashi was making an apologetic gesture while Naruto kept scratching his head.

"N-naru-chan? NARU-CHAN?" Everybody could feel Sakura turn into a big ball of blazing fire. "You call him pet names? And CUTE? Just when did this idiot become cute? Naruto is…" Sakura looked at the innocent fox pointing to himself.

"Naruto is…" Sakura's look of anger transformed into a familiar look Sasuke witnessed earlier. That look of God knows what, it's just so not Sakura.
"…is a bishounen."

Sasuke's jaw dropped. He wanted to laugh. Cry. Scream. Just what the hell is going on?!

Naruto on the other hand, blushed, and let out a shy laugh. "Really now Sakura, I didn't know you thought of me that way."

"Ah, but you know very little about what I think of you, Naruto-ojisama."

Sasuke was about to faint. Great. Now Sakura is hitting on his Naruto.

"Why, you're sweating, ojisama, let me wipe it for you," Sakura said softly as she tore a piece of her dress, but before she could place the cloth on Naruto's skin Kakashi pulled it away.

"Move it, kunoichi. You have a lot more to learn about a guy's sexy sweaty body."

"Urusai! You just want to have ojisama for yourself!"

"So what if I do?! I can please him in more ways than you ever can, amateur!"

"I'm the one he likes!"

"But I'm the one he desires!"

The student and teacher kept exchanging fuming words that they didn't notice Sasuke sneak up to Naruto.

"Now's our chance," Sasuke caught Naruto by his collar. "Let's run for it!"

"Aaaah! Sasuke's running away with Naruto-ojisama!"

"Hey you! Follow you teacher! Stop! I said stop!"

For the second time in this fanfiction, we find our two heroes panting. Unfortunately again, this was not due to what we fangirls would have thought have happened. But at least, Sasuke was dragging Naruto across town, just to make sure they were far enough from Sakura and Kakashi.

They finally stopped on a rooftop, terribly tired from all the running. "O… kay… just… tell me what happened there." Sasuke said, still catching his breath.

"Beats me," Naruto said.

Sasuke eyed the poor boy suspiciously. "You did something, didn't you?"

"Did not!" the fox boy protested.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"You were enjoying it!" Sasuke said, flustered at the thought.

Naruto stopped and looked away. "Well, yeah… somewhat."

Sasuke felt his head swell. He was angry. But he didn't know why. Somewhere in his stubborn head he knew he was jealous, but was too proud to admit it. Even if he had been unconsciously calling Naruto "his".

"But that doesn't mean I did something to them!" Naruto looked at Sasuke again, his eyes too sincere that he was about to cry if Sasuke was still not to believe him.

Sasuke turned away. He could feel his cheeks burn and his heart was beating more rapidly than they were running.

"You still don't believe me?" Naruto held the end of Sasuke's sleeve, wanting the boy to look at his direction.

Sasuke blushed again, but then sighed. "All right, I do. But something must've happened." He was still looking away. "Think, Naruto. What could have possibly caused this?"

"I have no idea," Naruto released the end of Sasuke's sleeve and looked down at the tiles below him.

Sasuke felt sorry for his dobe. He turned to face him and said, "Well, didn't you notice anything suspicious before they came to us?"

"Not really…" Naruto scratched his head. "Wait… I remember drinking something!"

"A drink?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah, it was colored purple and it tasted like ramen. I thought it was an energy drink though."

Sasuke shivered at the mention of the color purple. It reminded him of something, or maybe someone, but he didn't want to know what or who.

"And you think it caused all this?'

"Well, I remember nothing else suspicious than that, except for Kakashi-sensei and Sakura disappearing on our mission."

"You're hopeless." Sasuke really wanted to laugh. He loved just how clueless Naruto was.

"So you think this purple thing caused them to react that way?"

"Maybe it attracts people to me or something." Naruto said, blushing a bit.

"That's impossible," Sasuke commented.

"How come? You saw what happened." Naruto faced Sasuke.

"Then how come," Sasuke inched his face closer to Naruto, "it doesn't affect… me?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed and he shifted his gaze onto the tiles once more. "Yeah, how come it doesn't affect you?" he said in a low tone.

Sasuke was startled. Was it just him or Naruto was sad about it? He looked away once more, down to the empty streets below them. A few minutes have passed and they remained like this, not knowing what to tell each other, until something caught Sasuke's eye. The Hyuga clan's princess was walking alone.

"Hey, there's Hinata," he said.

Naruto looked to the direction where Sasuke's eyes were. "Yeah, it's her."

"Hmm… I have an idea," Sasuke said. "Let's see if this potion of yours really works. Why don't you go approach her and let's see what happens."

"You're right. I'll go see her," Naruto said, jumping down from the rooftop. "Yo, Hinata," he said as he approached her.

"N-Naruto," Hinata said shyly, blushing at the sight of the one she loves so dearly.

"So… uh… what's up?" Naruto asked, waiting for any unusual reaction.

"Well… nothing… much really…" Hinata said, gripping the small basket in her hands.

Naruto noticed this and said, "So what's in the basket?"

"Oh… I'm making a plushie." Hinata said, blushing again.

"Really, can I see it?" Naruto asked, pulling the cover of the small basket in Hinata's hands.

Hinata quickly shoved the basket away from his sight. "It's not done yet," she said nervously. "S-sorry, I really have to go now," she bowed her head and started running away.

Naruto just scratched his head. It was a short glimpse but he saw a doll with blonde hair and a somewhat orange clothing inside the basket. "Just from what anime is that?" he thought.

"So…?" Sasuke said as he landed beside Naruto. "I saw her running away."

"Well, nothing happened. Hinata was just being Hinata, I guess" Naruto said, still puzzled by the kunoichi.

"Told you it wasn't that thing you drank, maybe those two were just playing tricks on us."

"Yeah, so we wouldn't get mad because they suddenly disappeared on us!"

But for a joke, Sasuke thought,That wasn't really funny.

"Hey isn't that Ino?" Naruto said, pointing towards a jolly blonde girl just about to approach them.

"Shoot," Sasuke said, "Here comes one of my fangirls. Better run now."

But before Sasuke could take a step away, he heard Ino shout in what could pass for a melody, "Narutooooooooo My loveeeeee"

"Eh?" Naruto exclaimed as Ino glomped him. "Hold it Ino, what's going on?"

"What's going on? Why, we're making a baby tonight, love," Ino said rubbing her face onto Naruto's.

Sasuke almost choked on this. He turned to see what's going on. And then he saw it again. That look of God knows what, it's just so not Ino.

Just as Naruto is breaking away from Ino's tight embrace, he felt someone poke him from behind. This time it was Gaara, exclaiming, "You have a cute butt."

Sasuke gasped. On Gaara's face was the same. A look that was so un-Gaara.

"Sasuke… tasukete…" Naruto said barely breathing with Ino holding him so tight and Gaara… err... rubbing his face onto Naruto's behind and saying, "Ooh, firm."

"Naruto!"

"Naruto-ojisama!"

"Naru-chan!"

Sasuke could hear the voices multiply as more people come towards their direction. Panicking, he decided to use what he thought the only thing that could divert everyone's attention.

Sasuke pointed upwards and said, "Look! A cloud!"

Strangely enough, it worked. And while everybody was looking up, he grabbed Naruto by his collar and started running for their lives.

And for the third time, we see our heroes resting on a tree branch on a late afternoon, panting not for the reason we fangirls want it to be.

"Alright, maybe this purple potion thing does have something to do with it," Sasuke said.

"Did it say anything?"

"No, the label was blank," Naruto said, his face down on the branch.

"Baka. Then why did you drink it in the first place, you dobe!" Sasuke said.

"But I thought it was an energy drink!" Naruto protested at the cruelty of Sasuke's words.

"Energy drink? We lost all of our energy because of that stupid purple thing! Anyway, do you have the bottle?"

Naruto seached his pockets. "No I think I left it to where we rested before this whole thing happened."

"Great," Sasuke smirked. "Now we have to run and get it again."

"Mou dame da!" Naruto said, his arms and feet hanging loosely upon the branch.

"Hey, do you want to end this or not? That might be our only clue on how to solve this problem," Sasuke asked, irritated.

"Up there!" a voice said from below.

"Shimatta, they found us!" Sasuke said. "Oi Naruto, let's move it! We're gonna be dead if they catch us! Oi!"

This time, Sasuke caught the fox boy's hand and dragged him along, running as fast as they could, to where all this started. The two boys' ears suffered from all the shouting and screaming, as if everyone was a fangirl.

"Naruto! Let's make love!"

"Naru-ojisama, let me serve you!"

"Naru-chan, let's continue what we started!"

"Naruto! Come here and I'll give you my pantie head protector!"

For a moment, everyone stopped and looked at the only person who could've said that: Chouji.

"What?" an annoyed Chouji said .

"I… I won!" Ino exclaimed. "It IS pantie!"

"Oh shoot," Shikamaru fumed. "And all this time I thought it was a brief."

"Hey, they're running away!" Sakura exclaimed and everybody went back to chasing the fox.

By now it was only a few seconds before dark enveloped Konoha and it would be harder for everyone to continue the chase. Luckily, Sasuke finally found the tree where it all began. And under it shone an empty bottle.

"Just a little more, Naruto. We're almost there." Sasuke said. The bottle was almost in his hands when he felt his companion stumble, causing him to fall down along with him.

"I… I can't move anymore…" the usually highly energetic Naruto said.

"Naruto… you can't give up. We're almost…" Sasuke tried to reach for the bottle but Naruto's weight was hindering him.

"NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Sasuke could feel everyone else closing in.

No. No way I'm gonna let you have him… NO!!!

And the raven-haired boy gathered all the strength he had left. He hugged the fox tightly in his arms, wishing that it was enough to drive all the Naruto-crazed people away. He could feel everyone about to attack him, but he wasn't going to let go of his dobe. Never… Never…

Silence. Sasuke wasn't sure if all that shouting and screaming made him deaf. A few more seconds and still, silence.

Sasuke loosened his grip and looked at everyone around him. Everyone was lying on the ground, and they all seemed to be… sleeping. He looked at Naruto and he was doing the same. Puzzled, he reached for the bottle on the ground. No wonder, Naruto didn't know what it was for, the label was printed facing the inside of the bottle. It read:

POP STAR POTION

Make everyone fall for you! Have the fame you've always wanted.

Warning: Effective only until sunset. This potion has also been tested not to have an effect on people who already loves the person who drinks this.

"What the…" Sasuke mumbled. "No wonder… " he blushed. He didn't want to continue the thought the last sentence the warning said. Barely readable and inscripted in purple ink are small words at the bottom part of the label. Sasuke read it:

To my favorite boy toy and his koi,

A gift from your neighborhood bad-ass lover. I hope you like it.

Love and hisses,
Orochimaru

Sasuke shivered. Now he was sure who it reminded him of. There can only be one person who loves purple that much.

Sighing, he looked at the fox sleeping on his chest. He looked around him and thought, well, it wasn't that bad after all.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke heard a whisper from not so far. He turned to see Sakura sleeping close to their teacher, who in turn, had his arms around the pink-haired kunoichi.

"Yep, everything seems back to normal," Sasuke said. "Now then, I'm gonna take you home." With that, he carried the blonde boy on his back and started walking.

Tired as he already was, Sasuke actually found the boy light, and he seemed like he was enjoying himself.

"Sasuke… tasukete…" the sleeping Naruto said under his breath.

"Sssh… everything's alright now," Sasuke whispered. "I'm taking you home."

Half awake, Naruto asked, "Was it really the energy drink?"

"Aa," Sasuke answered.

"Then how come… it didn't affect you?" Naruto asked again.

"Because I hate you, dobe," Sasuke answered, delighted at what he just said.

Silence.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked again.

"Hn?"

"Do you really hate me that much?"

At this Sasuke stopped and motioned to put Naruto down. He let Naruto's body lean on a post. Naruto tried to open his eyes but can only see Sasuke's figure vaguely. He was leaning towards him.

Sasuke then answered, "Yeah…"

Naruto felt a hand on his chin, drawing him closer… closer… until his lips met something soft, damp, and sweet… Whatever it was, it tasted better than ramen. Much, much better. And he was sure to taste it again, one day. He swore to chase that taste… that feeling once he gets better. But for now, he can only close his eyes, and rest in bliss.

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Yaoichi: Gee, fangirls' fantasies… how pathetic. The characters were so damn OOC!

SSF: Hidoi yo, Yaoichi! Anyway, turns to the readers again, how was it? Please review 'coz I dunno if I should stop writing stuff like this down. Ahehe… I'm not really much of a KakashiSakura, I dunno I'm really more of a LeeSakura, but then, I just wanted to experiment on those two. Aa, sometimes, I am so puzzled by my own mind.

Yaoichi: Sorry, she always rants like this. She's planning to write, God forbid, a sequel, and it's all up to you reviewers. Now then, we're out!