Title: The Greatest Man I Never Knew

Rating: PG

Spoilers: "Meridian" Season Five

Season: Between five and six - Daniel is dead but Jonas isn't around yet

Summary: How do you tell someone you love them when it's too late?

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to Stargate SG-1 and I mean no infringement by using the characters, I'm just writing to entertain, so please don't sue me. I don't own any rights to "The Greatest Man I Never Knew" sung by Reba McEntire either. I only own the plot.

Author's Note: Just a little thing I thought of after listening to Reba McEntire for three days straight and having a pretty bad social day with friends. I hope you like it.

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I can't feel my body. That's normal for me though - every time I've been in this position I've felt this way. With my mom, with Daniel...but I never thought I'd been standing here for him. I can feel a single tear slide down my cheek but no one notices - it's raining too hard for anyone to notice.

The minister finishes his passage and people begin to approach the six-foot deep hole - dropping roses or shedding a tear as they pay their last respects. I stand here, Teal'c strong and sturdy at my side, and stare into the hole - completely distant.

Finally nearly the entire crowd has dissipated - all heading for the wake - when I approach. I look down into the hole at the shiny coffin and stare at it long and hard before my eyes migrate up to the headstone.

Col. Jonathan O'Neill
Loving father and Commanding Officer
He will be missed
1952 - 2004

I stare down into that hole and realize how that should be me. I should be the one. Technically Jack isn't in that box - he's...he's out there somewhere. I watched him fade as I held him in my arms. With his dying breath he reached up to touch my face but his fingers never made it - he suddenly exploded like a star and I sat facing a glowing ball of energy. His face faintly appeared in it - floating just below the surface. He smiled at me before ascending. Then he was gone.

I turned back and found Teal'c standing there - waiting for me. We're the only two left. I know that he's feeling the same things I am - guilt, loss, and lost. Guilt for not getting to Jack in time, loss because damn it he wasn't just our commanding officer but our friend, and lost because now we were all that was left. We both knew that the SGC would fix that - SG-1 would once again be a four-member team - but never again will we be a family. But I know Teal'c isn't feeling one thing that I am. He isn't feeling a darkness eating though his heart - not like I am.

I never got to tell Jack how I felt about him. Not really. Even while he lay dying he wouldn't hear it. The things that were never said.

I turn back and head to the car. Teal'c follows behind me.

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After I dropped Teal'c off at the mountain - at his request - I head home. When I get there I find my empty, echoing house. I walk to my couch and drop into it and just sit in the dark, silent house for a long time before I can't take it anymore. I get up and turn on my radio before going back and sitting down.

The greatest man I never knew
Lived just down the hall
And every day we said hello
But never touched at all
He was in his paper
I was in my room
How was I to know he thought I hung the moon?

The greatest man I never knew
Came home late every night
He never had too much to say
Too much was on his mind
I never really knew him
And now it seems so sad
Everything he gave to us took all he had.

Suddenly the tears start pouring and I can't find the remote fast enough to stop the stereo. I couldn't hear anymore. It was just too much. Jack was the greatest man I never really got to know. His quarters on base were just a few doors down from mine. Every morning when we first saw each other we always greeted each other - our eyes burning slightly for the need...the want to touch the other but we couldn't and we both knew that. He'd go to his office and pretend to write reports and I would go to my lab to work on my "doohickeys". I always thought that maybe...just maybe he felt the way I did but after six years I convinced myself that that's what I had done - just convinced myself of his feelings, nothing more.

Jack really was the greatest man I never really got the chance to be with. We'd get home late from a mission or head home from O'Malley's and he wouldn't say much. Sure a few sarcastic words here and there but nothing huge. He always played dumber that he really was. I worked side by side with him, day after day for six years and I never got to know too much about him - we always need boundaries. If I had known...if I had only known that he wouldn't be around long enough...I would have done something differently. He gave his life for Teal'c and I.

My tears still wont stop - I don't think they will anytime soon either.

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After Thought: What did you think? I know it's a lot darker then my usual stuff but please stick with it - I have another part that will hopefully even everything out. Please review!