A/N: Let me begin by explaining myself. Always a good place to begin, wouldn't you say?

Why I chose to rewrite Van Helsing

By Jessie Majere

First off, let me say that Van Helsing was a damn good flick. Seragwen, my most beloved muse, and I quite enjoyed ourselves. However, the movie was decidedly lacking in "parts". And ladies, you all know what I mean by "parts". You know. Those great moments when they almost kiss. All that nice, tasty sexual tension. Great stuff, "parts". Quite lovely.

And the movie had such potential for "parts". I mean, Dracula was friggin hotter than a fat man at an all you can eat buffet.

So, after much detailed discussion with Seragwen, I have decided to undertake this monumentous fanfic.

To rewrite the ending of Van Helsing.

Now let me tell you - don't read this if my changing some stuff around is going to bother you. There will be no OC's rearing their ugly heads. Hopefully, heaven help us, there will be no slash.

What there will be is a healthy dosage of "parts" and a just a weeeee little bit of parody now and again. (I have an odd sense of humor, yes I know - please bear with me).

That being said:

Setting: We're picking this bad boy up right at the part where the Count and Anna are dancing like crazy in the ballroom.

hushed silence

XX

The garish ballroom filled with opulent dancers mingled with crazed, nightmarish visions from an opiate's dream. Waiters balanced precariously on cycles bearing trays of champagne from which no one drank. Contortionists writhed on elevated platforms, bending their bodies into impossible positions. Nothing in the room seemed real. A haze surrealistic stagnation hung heavy over the glittering crowd.

Don't you just live big adjectives?

The orchestra, barely heard above the din of the crowd, played a haunting melody. After a moment, the sound was joined by a skilled soprano. Their music combined, rising with inhuman clarity.

Anna blinked her eyes, desperatley trying to clear away the heavy blanket of confusion that clouded her mind. She was held in the arms of a stranger, dancing under his direction. There was no sense of time or place. No sense of how or why she was there. Her mind felt burdened with ennui - had she always been there dancing ?

Her partner watched from beneath the feathered mask he wore, his dark eyes glimmering in secret amusement. Van Helsing?? her mind whispered once before the thought was snatched away, crushed out of her mind.

Her partner removed his mask. She followed suit. His powerful arms pulled her close against his chest, pressing her tightly against him before lowering her into a deep dip. Anna offered no resistance when he covered her mouth with his own, claiming her lips in a searing kiss. Desire raced through her body. Closing her eyes, her grip tightened on the man's shoulders, clinging to him for strength. Blinking, she gazed into the eyes of her lover. The cloud slowly starting to lift from her mind, she found herself staring into the eyes of her mortal enemy.

"Dracula," she hissed. He still held her lowered into a dip. There was no way for her to even attempt to escape him.

The count lifted her back up with ease only to forcefully spin her away at arms length, his hand carefully gripping her wrist. His hand felt like a steel band around her skin. There was nothing human in his grip.

"How are you enjoying my little gathering, my dear?" His voice was low, yet she had no trouble hearing him over the music. It was almost as if his voice echoed inside of her mind.

Everything came back to her - the frantic race through the Carpathian mountains, Gabrial's wounding, the death of her poor brother . Their plan almost worked, but they had underestimated Dracula. In the end, Van Helsing had control of the monster while he had Anna. Damn, how she hated him!

He was watching her now, perhaps reading her mind as the memories came flooding back. An odd little look of amusement appeared in his eyes. He pulled her in closer, still guiding her through the intricate Barovian dance. All around them couples danced, surrounding them in a sea of ghastly masked faces. Anna had no choice but to dance with him. A child of five would have as much chance as she to escape Dracula's power. Anna's lips still burned from his stolen kiss. How dare he touch her like this.

"I despise you," she grated in disdain. Effortlessly, he twirled her around so that her back was against his chest, arms encircling her body. His bare hands glided across her waist, up the bare skin of her arms and shoulders. Desire still coursed through her body, an after effect of his enchantment that fueled her temper. "You make my skin crawl," she spat.

Dracula lowered her head, lips inches away from the delicate skin of her neck. A strand of his dark hair tickled her shoulder. Anna could feel his powerful body pressed against her own. It would be so easy for him to kill her right now. So easy for him to do anything he wanted. Anything at all.

He dipped his head lower, inhaling her scent. Intoxicating. Even now, he could smell no sign of fear from her. How enchanting. Perhaps he would have to change that. "That's not all I could do with your skin," he whispered. His lips moved to lightly caress her neck, teasing her neck with a feather light kiss. Anna closed her eyes, unable to keep her body from responding to his touch. She hated herself for it, but couldn't keep from sighing.

Dracula twirled her roughly away, pulling her back in to stand face to face. The gloating look of triumph in his eyes made her want to scream. She supposed it was too much to ask for to hope that he hadn't heard her sigh.

"You can't win this," she spoke with more defiance than she felt. "Gabriel would never been foolish enough to trade the monster. He won't come for me."

His pale hand moved to her neck, caressing her exposed neck. The scarlet red ball gown Anna wore was as stunning as he knew it would be. He was glad her chose it. "I have no intentions of trading you, my dear. I find you much too amusing to let you go so easily. Besides, you know little about the hearts of men if you believe he will not come."

His grip on her neck tightened, guiding her face to his own. His lips hovered over her own. Again, Anna was stuck by the sheer power in the arms that encircled her body. There was no way to fight him. He stared into her eyes, ensnaring them with his own. She could feel his mind pressing into her own, probing her secret thoughts and dreams. Dracula quickly and easily stripped away the last of her defenses.

His eyes widened, a mocking smile tugging at his lips. Anna tried to turn her face away but his hand wouldn't allow it. "Look at me, Anna," he commanded softly.

Before she could stop herself, she obeyed. As soon as her eyes locked with his, an image projected in her mind. She was lying naked on a bed of satin, her hair spilling out around her in a sea of black curls. He was there, kissing her, touching her, tasting her.

"No," she whispered frantically, tearing her eyes away from his. The extreme effort of breaking her mind away from his left her weak. All the strength fled from her body. If not for the count's nearness, she would have collapsed completely. Holding her carefully, he dropped her again into a low dip.

"Imagine it Anna. You face death tonight, but I could give you a life unending. Imaging what a beautiful couple we would make."

His dark laughter provoked her anger. She turned her head, following his gaze. Across from them stood an enormous gilt mirror reaching from floor to ceiling. In it, Anna could see herself reclining in the count's invisible arms - he himself cast no reflection. the sight startled her so badly, she sucked in breath to scream. Dracula jerked her back up before the sound could escape her throat. His arms imprisoned her against him, her hands pressed against his chest.

A look of horror crossed her face. "You have no heartbeat," she whispered, gazing into his strange eyes. That was her doom. As soon as their eyes locked, her recaptured her in his gaze. The cloud returned in Anna's mind, covering her memory, stealing away her very will to resist.

Lovingly, Dracula leaned her back in his arms. Anna's head fell backwards exposing the pale flesh of her neck. Cradling her carefully in his arms, he caressed her stomach, letting his hand travel slowly upwards, exploring the warm skin of her body. He moved slowly, taking his time. Enjoying the softness of her skin, the curve of her chest, the sensitive valley between her breasts. Gabriel would come, he believed that firmly. But for now, he would have this bit of entertainment.

"Perhaps," his silken voice whispered, "it is only because it needs rekindled." Dracula's lips pulled back revealing razor sharp teeth. "One moment of pain, followed by an eternity of pleasure." Anna reached out, wrapping her arms around his neck. Closing her eyes, she guided him down to her exposed neck.

Suddenly, someone bumped into the vampire from behind, setting his back aflame. He roared in fu ry releasing his grip on both Anna's body and mind. She fell to her knees then quickly stood to back up.

"Anna," her name was shouted from above. Before she could even fully jerk her head around, all the air was knocked out of her lungs. Gabrial snagged her, swooping her up into the air in a very heroic, if a bit predictable, escape. Flying through the air with the greatest of ease, the daring young man on the flying trapeze managed to swing safely onto the balcony overlooking the ballroom without dropping either himself or his lovely rescuee.

Anna blinked her eyes, still trying to clear away the miasma from her mind. Taking matters into his own hands, Gabriel grabbed her by the shoulders, giving her a good shake or two for good measure.

"Snap out of it, Anna. We've got to find out way out of here before old extra crispy heals himself."

As if on cue, Dracula's voice drifted from below. "Gabriel... oh Gabriel..."

Van Helsing closed his eyes and sighed in a good natured I'm-the-handsome-hero-and-I'm-really-put-out kind of way. "Too late," he groaned in his gravelly voice.

"Gabriel..." the count summoned again.

Rolling her eyes, Anna shoved Van Helsing from behind, nudging him towards the balcony edge. Looking down, even she had to admit the vampire was looking rather splendid at the moment, considering her was a human torch only moments ago. Everything about his attire was immaculate down to the shine on his Hessian boots.

From the crowd, a child shouted...

Note #1

On Little Children and their Necessity in All Cool Vampire Stories

It's been documented that all cool vampires have at least one little kid underling to do their bidding. Lestat made Claudia, Armand had that little kid who drove his carriage, the cool guy in Lost Boys had Danny - that weird little kid who never said much, Blackula had.... Well anyways, you get the point, right?

"Master, master," the child shouted. "They've found him. They've brought the monster."

Everyone in the room turned to see Frankenstein's monster wheeled into the ballrom tied to a giant vegetable cart.

"Argh! Grr! Revenge! The 23rd Psalm and stuff! Grr!" muttered the monster half heartedly. His weird little head sparked little green bolts of energy. "Get behind my Satan! Double double boil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble. Grrrr."

"Can't someone shut him up?" Dracula hissed. At his command, an army of evil oompa loompas threw themselves bodily on Frankie's head, effectively silencing his ranting.

"Mmmpf... mmpff... argh!!"

The vampire sighed, pulling a lock of his raven hair back behind his ear. "Where was I? Oh yes, I remember - your death. I never got the chance to offer you a proper welcome, Gabriel. You see, this is my summer palace."

From his elevated position, Gabriel looked down upon the crowd, one eyebrow raised. He threw his head back, striking a pose. "Nice place. Did you get a nice deal, I hope?"

"What?!" Dracula frowned in disgust. "No, you moron. This is my castle." He gestured with one hand. "And these are my servants."

Van Helsing nodded, deep in thought. "I see. You're trying to tell me something here, aren't you. Yes, I see it now - I've been terribly rude, haven't I?" He waved down to the crowd, smiling. "Hello everyone. Sorry we crashed the party, but I had to save the little lady here." He turned around trying to locate Anna. For some bizarre reason, she was backing away from the edge, a look of terror on her face. "Oh come on now, my dear. We shouldn't be rude. Come say hello to the count's guests."

"Dear God," Dracula muttered. "He's too dumb to allow to live. What if he muddies the gene pool?" He gestured with one elegant hand. "Kill him."

Finally cleared for service, the masked guests tore away their disguises revealing their true vampiric forms. Gabriel slowly turned around, his mouth slowly forming a shocked O. He turned, grabbing Anna's arm. She was struggling to remove a decorate mace from the wall.

"Come on, Anna. You can't kill a vampire with that," he cried. "We've gotta get out of here."

"It's not for the vampires, you idiot. It's to smack some sense into you."

They raced down the hallway, searching for an exit. Apparently, Gabriel was so concerned about finding Anna, the thought of successfully escaping with her had never occurred to him. At some point in their frantic search, Carl - the happy friar - joined up with them.

"Guys, guys!" he panted, trying to keep up. "I just figured out how to use this little weapon I made for no apparent reason other than the fact that it might eventual become useful. Want to see?"

"No time," Gabriel growled gruffly. "We must jump out of his impossibly tall window into the raging sea bellow. Come Anna." He tried to yank her towards the window, but she resisted. The large man's momentum was too great to stop. Anna had to shield her eyes from shattering glass as Gabriel crashed through.

From behind her, Carl fiddled with his device, setting of a beam of light equal to the strength of the sun, effectively killing all the unnecessary vampires in the castle (save two). "Master," he cried as he headed towards the now open window. "Wait for meeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Anna ran to the window, watching the sea swallow them up in a resounding crash several hundred feet below.

"A very brave thing they did, but they are nevertheless too late. Even if they survive the fall, Gabriel will never reach my ship in time to stop it from setting sail."

Anna didn't have to turn around to know who stood behind her. Dracula's dark voice whispered from behind, his presence turning her heart to lead. She slowly moved to stand before her ancient enemy, face to face. Her family hunted Dracula for hundreds of years, yet never before had Anna truly seen his face. He stood before her now, his dark cloak pulled back revealing the black suit underneath. He radiated power, dominance, strength. It shocked her to realize how magnificent he was.

It angered her to admit she could ever think that.

He took a step towards her, holding out his hand. "Come with me child," he whispered, his seductive voice beckoning her forward. "I have no wish to see you foolishly throw yourself upon the rocks below."

She backed away from him, edging closer to the broken window. His mind attacked her, desperately trying to summon her away from danger, but she resisted.

"You've a strong will, Anna. I would hate to break it." He inched closer to her. Again she stepped away. The window was directly behind her now. One false step...

"I would rather..."

"...die. Yes, I know. People always seem to say that around me."

A garbled scream that sounded suspiciously like Gabriel echoed from the ocean below. Anna turned too quickly, losing her balance. She didn't even have time to draw in a breath before toppling out of the window. Air rushed all around her, screaming in her ears. Just when she feared her body would crash into the ocean, arms encircled her body. All at once, she was no longer falling. Wind still rushed by her face, but it was gentle now.

Her eyes were still squeezed tight, in her fear she was too terrified to open them. She forced them open now, only to stare right into Dracula's eyes. The vampire held her gently cradled against him, his dark cloak swirling around their suspended bodies. Peeking past his shoulder, Anna was horrified to see the vast ocean several hundred feet below. She clutched him tightly, praying that he wouldn't take it into his mind to drop her.

"I won't let you fall, kislány," he whispered, as if reading her thoughts. Perhaps because of the stress of the situation, the guards on Anna's mind faultered. In her weakened state, it was easy for the vampire to lull her sleep. Cradling her sleeping form against him, Dracula flew through the night.

XX

A/N: Please, please, please review! Flames, while not encouraged, are allowed. As long as you can find a sense of humor, however, I hope that there will be none... flames that is....

: )