Dr. Katz Treats Characters From Naruto
Chapter One: Cereal
By: Cornel Kennedy
Dr. Katz, a bald man in a dress shirt and a tie sat across a round table to his son, Ben. Dr. Katz put down his morning coffee and looked at his 25 year old son who shoveled his morning cereal in the shape teddy bears near the area of his mouth. Wait, why morning cereal? This was different from his lunch cereal and half the amount of his evening cereal. "Today's going to be an interesting day, Ben," he spoke.
"Hmm-hmm," Ben replied dipping milk and crumbs from his mouth. His eyes were on a toy offered from the cereal. He spoke to himself: "Cool, forehead protector."
"I'm getting new patients," Dr. Katz started.
"I'm glad, really glad," Ben raised his voice, "to see that the amount of people that are in need of professional help is climbing."
"Get this," he ignored his son's sarcasm, "they are ninjas."
"You mean the ninjas that do back flips and carry around swords?" Ben asked.
"Yes, just to clarify that I am not talking about the ninjas that slack off at home every day and watch television," Dr. Katz retored with a chuckle. "These are trained machines of mass murdering."
"You can't really train a machine to do anything," Ben corrected his father. "They are built the way they are suppose to work. Machines don't have to go to schools to learn anything."
"The media friendly," Dr. Katz performed air quotes for 'friendly', "term for ninjas is machines of mass murdering. Should I have said that ninjas were trained to be machines of mass murdering instead?"
"Now you got it," Ben stated. "Do you think it is in your best interest to treat these machines of mass mudering for mental illnesses?"
"Their credit cards were approved," Dr. Katz said, "if that is what you are asking."
"Now that is how you judge a man," Ben said. "'Have you ever killed a man?' 'Yeah, in colder than absolute zero blood.' 'Do you think your aggressive behaviour was caused by mental illness?' 'I would bet on it, but my credit rating is good.'"
"Man, we're out of cereal," Ben shook the box and over his tilted head and crumbs fell into his face and hair. "We need more cereal."
"For today, for a change..." Dr. Katz started.
"Why change perfection?" Ben asked.
"Sometimes some imperfection denotes whole perfection," Dr. Katz.
"That doesn't make complete sense to me," Ben said.
"Of course not." Dr. Katz agreed. "If it made perfect sense to anyone, then it would not be perfect. What I am suggesting is that you buy a grown-up cereal."
"Great, I would then able to go to the can more than once a day." Ben said.
The blonde hair ninja in his orange jump suit stood in front the desk of Laura who rested her head in her hands. "Is the quack ready to see me?" Naruto said with a smile and closed his eyes tightly. "If he takes any longer, I'll be Hokage by then and will not be able to play the rapist with him."
"Please, sit down," the red haired woman told him, "he's with another patient."
Naruto shook his fist at the door, "It had better not be Sasuke. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. The girls are obsessed with him. Sasuke is my rival. He's my anti-ramen. You know how annoying it can be when people around you keep on talking about Sasuke?"
"People? No." She admitted. "Person? Yes."
Dr. Katz came on the intercom: "Please send in the next person."
"Yipee!" Naruto jumped into the air with a fist pointed to the ceiling. "I'm recognized."
Dr. Katz sat on his chair and Naruto rested on the couch.
"So tell me about your childhood." Dr. Katz beat the end of his pencil on his lips. "Oh, you're still a child. Didn't really notice that."
"Notice it! Notice me!" Naruto leaned to the edge of the couch and pointed to himself.
"You have a problem with neglect," Dr. Katz pulled out from Naruto's subtle hints, "tell me about it."
"Yes, finally, back to me. It was hard to get people to recongize me. Well, they knew me, but they knew me because I had a demon sealed into me." Naruto said lifting up his jacket and black t-shirt to reveal his seal.
"You have a demon sealed in you?" Dr. Katz said. "You're going to have to be charged extra for that."
"WHAT?!?" Naruto yelled with his hands around his face and mouth wide open.
"I'm joking," Dr. Katz said. "Maybe not the best time for that. Now back to business. Which is you."
"As I had said," Naruto started, "everyone recognizes me."
"I know what you said," Dr. Katz mentioned, "why is it a problem that everyone acknowledges you?"
"It's not! You weren't paying attention to me!" Naruto shouted. "I told you the problem was that people don't pay attention to me! Oiroke no Jutsu!"
In a gust of smoke, Naruto was turned into a sexy blonde haired girl who blew a kiss at Dr. Katz which knocked him and his chair back propelled by two streams of blood comig from Dr. Katz's nose. Naruto put a long slender finger on his pouty lips.
"He recognized me," Naruto said in a soft female voice and giggled. "Oh no, I can't get out of this."
At his chair behind his desk, Dr. Katz picked up the phone in his office. "Hello, Dr. Katz speaking."
"You are now under my ninja technique." The voice on the other end said. "This call is costing you five more cents a minute."
"Hey, Ben," Dr. Katz replied.
"Yo, Dad," Ben laid on the couch with the phone resting between his shoulder and neck. "What's up?"
"You ever wonder if someone leaves my room completely changed?" Dr. Katz answered. "I had one of those moments."
"I knew you could do it," Ben had two action firgures in his hand that resembled ninjas and crashed them together. "Did you know, ninjas are just a bunch of people who dress up in black and carrry swords and take jobs like cutting the lawn or finding a cat."
"How do you know anything about ninjas?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Research." Ben explained. "I was thinking about getting a new cereal, and though, 'Hey, why can't we pay someone to go get it?'."
"We?" Dr. Katz questioned. "I think you should get your cereal for yourself."
"Yeah, we." Ben sharply stated. "I looked up in the phone book and saw an Ad for ninja services. We ask them to buy us cereal and they go do it. They are like the boy scouts. I'm going to go spy on them; do you want to see a ninja chop the head of a person who has thought he could go through the express lane with one item over the limit?"
"That," Dr. Katz said, "I would like to see."
A quiet boy in a gray overcoat and a black fro sat across the room from Laura. "Can you stop doing that?"
The boy wearing round lensed sunglasses looked at her. "Doing what?"
"I don't know." She confessed. "You're, I don't know, somewhat freaky sitting there."
"Where should I wait?" Shino asked in his very deep and elderly voice.
"I don't know," she laughed, "go wait in the closet."
"Sure," he didn't realize her humourous nature intended for that command. He opened the door and closed it. "Is this to your liking?"
"I can't tell if you are being serious," she told him. "You don't have to be in there. You can wait out here. I'm not all that weirded out by seeing you."
"If you don't want to look at me, I can turn invisible." The door opened and closed.
"Hey, where are you?" She asked and put her legs on the chair and held them to her chest. "This is even stranger."
"I was kidding," Shino said stepping out of the closet.
"You need to work on your delivery." Laura suggested.
"Thank you for your opinion," he bowed down to her, "I will take it under as much seriousness as it permits."
"You don't have to be sarcastic about it." Laura said.
"I apology again," he said. "How can I make it up to you?"
"You're not kidding, are you?" She asked. He nodded. "Here's how you can make it up for me. After your done with Dr. Katz, can you take over my position, taking calls for the doctor and admitting patients."
"Yes, it would be my greatest honour to serve your most important needs." Shino said.
Dr. Katz came on the intercom: "I'm ready for my next patient."
Dr. Katz opened the door for Shino and when he came into the room he kissed the floor. "Please, take a seat, Shino."
Shino walked over to Dr. Katz's chair. "The other one, Shino."
Shino picked up the pillow and fluffed it up before putting it back down on the chair. Out from his large coat, he pulled out a picture of water and filled the glass of Dr. Katz half way. "Thank you, Shino," Dr. Katz took a seat. "Hey, why only half way?"
"Lao Tzu wrote: 'A fill a cup to its brim and it is easily spilled'." Shino remarked.
"I think he meant that as a metaphor and people should not be excessive about anything." Dr. Katz said. "Like being overly polite."
"You are completely right and wise." Shino praised him.
"You are not going to lift up my ego with your comments about me to avoid talking about your problem." Dr. Katz stated. On his notepad, he wrote and underlined: "I am completely right and wise."
"I would conclude a man of your intellect and virtue would not fall for such a trap." Shino said. Dr. Katz had a thought of Shino bowing down to him as he brushed his teeth. Dr. Katz smiled and buzzed Laura. "Cancel all my appointments for the rest of the day." Dr. Katz pulled his finger off the button. "Why else do you find great about me?"
"Your observance of yourself." Shino said. "You don't really care if you contradict yourself after ten seconds of saying anything."
"Oh, you're being sarcastic." Dr. Katz said.
"Your receptionist came to the same conclusion." Shino revealed. "Was she second in marks in your class after you? My problem? People don't realize I'm being ironical with them."
Example clip: (All impersonations are done by Shino)
I sit at a table with an empty bowl of ramen and have an unhealthy green tint of my face.
The ramen girl came up and stood on the other end of the bar. "Great ramen, huh?"
"Sure, greatest in the universe," I have to duck under the bar (sound of vomitting come from Shino), "if there is any food I would eat before dying, it would have to be your ramen."
End of clip:
"Can't she tell that if I ate her ramen again, it would be the thing that kills me?" Shino asked.
"Well, some people like you to tell them how it really is?" Dr. Katz.
"That is the stupidest advice I have ever heard."
"You could have suger coated that." Dr. Katz told him.
"People don't want to hear it as it really is. One of my teammates, Hinata, she's always troubling me with questions." Shino changed his voice to a whinny shy girl. "'Oh my god, if I pair up with Neji, should I fight him?' Yeah, knock yourself out; he'll give you a hand. He's from the same clan as you, as all the abilities of you, but trains harder. I can see a great out come for you. But here is the dumbest question she has ever asked me."
Clips: (All voices done by Shino)
Hinata walked up to me. "Can I bug you? Tee-hee, I made a funny."
"What is it?" I ask.
"Do you think that Naruto likes me?" She asked.
"How should I know?" I ask her.
"Well, you're both boys." She concluded with valuable insight. What kind of comment is that: "Well, you're both boys."
End of Clip
"If that comment was true then who cares which boy you go out with. How does she think wars start up." Shino added.
Clip:
Two dictors are sitting having a drink at a bar.
"Hey, I'm a dictor, your a dictor. We don't disagree with anything. You want to go to war with me, what do I want?" One dictor said.
"We'll let the men fight, they wouldn't object to being used as tools for our amusement. They're guys, we're guys. We all agree!" The second dictors said. The two click glasses and the second one toasted: "To the death of millions of consenting men!"
End of Clip
A jazzy soft music played.
"Oh," Dr. Katz said. "You know what the music means?"
"Great, I thought you were in denial about it." Shino said.
"Actually, I believe it is the alarm that we have gone five minutes over," Dr. Katz said, "I'm going to have to charge you for this new full hour."
"Excellent," Shino relaxed back on the coat, "I have so much more to complain about."
"Okay, it was the ending tune," Dr. Katz confessed. "Now you don't have to go home, but you are also not welcomed here for the rest of the day."
Ben walked into the front room of his father's practice. He looked over to Laura at her desk with her arms crossed and peered over to where she was looking. "Wicked." Ben nodded his head at the naked blonde girl sitting on a seat with patches of cloud. Ben walked over to Laura. "I predict a forecast of partial clouds in the day and at night a clear sky seen on my bedroom."
"Sure," Laura said. "Why don't you go talk to her?"
"You think I have a chance with her?" He asked.
"I'm positive that you have as much chance with that girl as the hottest guys on the planet." She declared. "Go and buy her ramen."
"Maybe some other time," Ben said. He looked over at Naruto and she looked down in shame. "So the game begins."
"It has already started for me." Laura said.
"Is my dad getting out soon?" He asked.
"No, he has to see the patient over there again."
"I'm going to spy on some ninjas." Ben said. "Interested?"
"No."
"See you tomorrow."
"Not if I poke my eyes out tonight." She remarked.
"But if you poke your eyes out, then I could still see you here tomorrow."
"If I poke my eyes out," she asked him, "would I really come in tomorrow?"
Ben waited at the corner of the alley for the cereal in the supermarket. A short haired pink girl accompanied by a girl with black hair wrapped in buns on the sides of her head looked at a note and searched the boxes of cereal. "Why do we have to do this, TenTen?" Sakura asked.
"All the other missions involved fighting," Tenten sighed. She picked up a box. "Okay, got it. Let's go pay for it."
"Wait, wait," Ben walked up to them. "You're ninjas, right? You know, I want to see some flips."
"But we are only buying a box of cereal." Sakura remarked. Ben tore the box away from Tenten and put it back on the shelf.
"That is the way my grandma buys cereal." Ben stated and pointed at a box on the top shelf. "This is a ninja mission, not some girly frolic in the enchanted fairy forest owned by pink ponys with flowers in their tails reigning over mystical fairies and a legion of fruity boys who you are attracted to with their dark personalities and stand offishness. So make with the flipping, you, you, tools of tactics."
Dr. Katz with his notepad over his eyes had Naruto in girl form in his office.
"I can't stop them, everyone is glaring at me. Can't they leave me alone?" Naruto's soft feminine voice peaked in tone.
"When you first came here, Naruto," Dr. Katz said. "Naruto. That is what you want to be referred to in your form right?"
"Of course!!!" he tried to sound angery but failed cutely. "It is better than 'Hey, chick!'; 'Yo, Mama.', or 'Come right, babe'."
"Well, when you first came here, Naruto, you wanted to be recognized. And now that you are, you can't get enough of it. Have you heard of the Lao Tzu saying: 'Fill the glass to the brim, and you get fully billed.' Well, something like that. Anyways, you have too much attention and couldn't like it." Dr. Katz explained. "Not all attention is good and you have to be able to moderately enjoy your time when you aren't in the spotlight. Your master, Kakashi gave me this scroll to underchange you. He told me to tell you that you can't say he never did anything for you."
He put down his notebook. Dr. Katz eyes intensified and he performed some hand seals. "Reverse technique!"
A flash of light emmited from his eyes and it filled the room. Dr. Katz tried to speak but his mouth ejected a picture of Naruto in his girl form. "What was that technique?" Naruto said, then reformed back into his former self. "Hey, it worked!"
"I wonder why a picture was taken." Dr. Katz stated as Naruto left the room.
Naruto's teachers, both grey haired men, Kakashi and Jiraiya stood against a railing in the Naruto world near a portal that goes into Dr. Katz's world. Jiraiya, an older man with hair that went down to the ground, jumped up and down. "When is it going to develop?"
Kakashi reached under his blue face mask that covered his mouth and removed the picture. The two huddled over it, with Kakashi with a hand over his mouth, and his uncovered eye surrounded in red, while Jiraiya drooled.
Ben came into the living room with two black eyes and swollen cheeks with red on them that looked like part of a hand. He put down the box of cereal on the coffee table and threw his beaten body on the couch beside his father. "I hate ninjas," he said. "Wouldn't even do a back flip to get a box of cereal."
"Ben, did you piss off the machines of mass murder?" Dr. Katz asked.
"No, I showed the girls a great time and at the end of the night I suggested the customary ninja way of saying that you had a great time with a little ass whimping." Ben groaned.
"Did the first date thing, huh? Took them out to a defenseless village, murdered the parents, and enslaved the children. No ninja can resist that." Dr. Katz laughed lightly.
"And a moonlight stroll along the roof top of a feudal lord. My charm was on tonight." Ben laughed calmly. "On a serious note dad. You know the political correct way of referring to a ninja?"
"Machines of mass murder. Yes."
"Well, don't call them the politically incorrect term." Ben suggested.
"I'll take the note down," Dr. Katz said. "What is it?"
"Tools of tactics."
"That ninja union has really being busting balls over that." Dr. Katz concluded.
Next patients: Sasuke and Shikamaru
Chapter One: Cereal
By: Cornel Kennedy
Dr. Katz, a bald man in a dress shirt and a tie sat across a round table to his son, Ben. Dr. Katz put down his morning coffee and looked at his 25 year old son who shoveled his morning cereal in the shape teddy bears near the area of his mouth. Wait, why morning cereal? This was different from his lunch cereal and half the amount of his evening cereal. "Today's going to be an interesting day, Ben," he spoke.
"Hmm-hmm," Ben replied dipping milk and crumbs from his mouth. His eyes were on a toy offered from the cereal. He spoke to himself: "Cool, forehead protector."
"I'm getting new patients," Dr. Katz started.
"I'm glad, really glad," Ben raised his voice, "to see that the amount of people that are in need of professional help is climbing."
"Get this," he ignored his son's sarcasm, "they are ninjas."
"You mean the ninjas that do back flips and carry around swords?" Ben asked.
"Yes, just to clarify that I am not talking about the ninjas that slack off at home every day and watch television," Dr. Katz retored with a chuckle. "These are trained machines of mass murdering."
"You can't really train a machine to do anything," Ben corrected his father. "They are built the way they are suppose to work. Machines don't have to go to schools to learn anything."
"The media friendly," Dr. Katz performed air quotes for 'friendly', "term for ninjas is machines of mass murdering. Should I have said that ninjas were trained to be machines of mass murdering instead?"
"Now you got it," Ben stated. "Do you think it is in your best interest to treat these machines of mass mudering for mental illnesses?"
"Their credit cards were approved," Dr. Katz said, "if that is what you are asking."
"Now that is how you judge a man," Ben said. "'Have you ever killed a man?' 'Yeah, in colder than absolute zero blood.' 'Do you think your aggressive behaviour was caused by mental illness?' 'I would bet on it, but my credit rating is good.'"
"Man, we're out of cereal," Ben shook the box and over his tilted head and crumbs fell into his face and hair. "We need more cereal."
"For today, for a change..." Dr. Katz started.
"Why change perfection?" Ben asked.
"Sometimes some imperfection denotes whole perfection," Dr. Katz.
"That doesn't make complete sense to me," Ben said.
"Of course not." Dr. Katz agreed. "If it made perfect sense to anyone, then it would not be perfect. What I am suggesting is that you buy a grown-up cereal."
"Great, I would then able to go to the can more than once a day." Ben said.
The blonde hair ninja in his orange jump suit stood in front the desk of Laura who rested her head in her hands. "Is the quack ready to see me?" Naruto said with a smile and closed his eyes tightly. "If he takes any longer, I'll be Hokage by then and will not be able to play the rapist with him."
"Please, sit down," the red haired woman told him, "he's with another patient."
Naruto shook his fist at the door, "It had better not be Sasuke. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. The girls are obsessed with him. Sasuke is my rival. He's my anti-ramen. You know how annoying it can be when people around you keep on talking about Sasuke?"
"People? No." She admitted. "Person? Yes."
Dr. Katz came on the intercom: "Please send in the next person."
"Yipee!" Naruto jumped into the air with a fist pointed to the ceiling. "I'm recognized."
Dr. Katz sat on his chair and Naruto rested on the couch.
"So tell me about your childhood." Dr. Katz beat the end of his pencil on his lips. "Oh, you're still a child. Didn't really notice that."
"Notice it! Notice me!" Naruto leaned to the edge of the couch and pointed to himself.
"You have a problem with neglect," Dr. Katz pulled out from Naruto's subtle hints, "tell me about it."
"Yes, finally, back to me. It was hard to get people to recongize me. Well, they knew me, but they knew me because I had a demon sealed into me." Naruto said lifting up his jacket and black t-shirt to reveal his seal.
"You have a demon sealed in you?" Dr. Katz said. "You're going to have to be charged extra for that."
"WHAT?!?" Naruto yelled with his hands around his face and mouth wide open.
"I'm joking," Dr. Katz said. "Maybe not the best time for that. Now back to business. Which is you."
"As I had said," Naruto started, "everyone recognizes me."
"I know what you said," Dr. Katz mentioned, "why is it a problem that everyone acknowledges you?"
"It's not! You weren't paying attention to me!" Naruto shouted. "I told you the problem was that people don't pay attention to me! Oiroke no Jutsu!"
In a gust of smoke, Naruto was turned into a sexy blonde haired girl who blew a kiss at Dr. Katz which knocked him and his chair back propelled by two streams of blood comig from Dr. Katz's nose. Naruto put a long slender finger on his pouty lips.
"He recognized me," Naruto said in a soft female voice and giggled. "Oh no, I can't get out of this."
At his chair behind his desk, Dr. Katz picked up the phone in his office. "Hello, Dr. Katz speaking."
"You are now under my ninja technique." The voice on the other end said. "This call is costing you five more cents a minute."
"Hey, Ben," Dr. Katz replied.
"Yo, Dad," Ben laid on the couch with the phone resting between his shoulder and neck. "What's up?"
"You ever wonder if someone leaves my room completely changed?" Dr. Katz answered. "I had one of those moments."
"I knew you could do it," Ben had two action firgures in his hand that resembled ninjas and crashed them together. "Did you know, ninjas are just a bunch of people who dress up in black and carrry swords and take jobs like cutting the lawn or finding a cat."
"How do you know anything about ninjas?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Research." Ben explained. "I was thinking about getting a new cereal, and though, 'Hey, why can't we pay someone to go get it?'."
"We?" Dr. Katz questioned. "I think you should get your cereal for yourself."
"Yeah, we." Ben sharply stated. "I looked up in the phone book and saw an Ad for ninja services. We ask them to buy us cereal and they go do it. They are like the boy scouts. I'm going to go spy on them; do you want to see a ninja chop the head of a person who has thought he could go through the express lane with one item over the limit?"
"That," Dr. Katz said, "I would like to see."
A quiet boy in a gray overcoat and a black fro sat across the room from Laura. "Can you stop doing that?"
The boy wearing round lensed sunglasses looked at her. "Doing what?"
"I don't know." She confessed. "You're, I don't know, somewhat freaky sitting there."
"Where should I wait?" Shino asked in his very deep and elderly voice.
"I don't know," she laughed, "go wait in the closet."
"Sure," he didn't realize her humourous nature intended for that command. He opened the door and closed it. "Is this to your liking?"
"I can't tell if you are being serious," she told him. "You don't have to be in there. You can wait out here. I'm not all that weirded out by seeing you."
"If you don't want to look at me, I can turn invisible." The door opened and closed.
"Hey, where are you?" She asked and put her legs on the chair and held them to her chest. "This is even stranger."
"I was kidding," Shino said stepping out of the closet.
"You need to work on your delivery." Laura suggested.
"Thank you for your opinion," he bowed down to her, "I will take it under as much seriousness as it permits."
"You don't have to be sarcastic about it." Laura said.
"I apology again," he said. "How can I make it up to you?"
"You're not kidding, are you?" She asked. He nodded. "Here's how you can make it up for me. After your done with Dr. Katz, can you take over my position, taking calls for the doctor and admitting patients."
"Yes, it would be my greatest honour to serve your most important needs." Shino said.
Dr. Katz came on the intercom: "I'm ready for my next patient."
Dr. Katz opened the door for Shino and when he came into the room he kissed the floor. "Please, take a seat, Shino."
Shino walked over to Dr. Katz's chair. "The other one, Shino."
Shino picked up the pillow and fluffed it up before putting it back down on the chair. Out from his large coat, he pulled out a picture of water and filled the glass of Dr. Katz half way. "Thank you, Shino," Dr. Katz took a seat. "Hey, why only half way?"
"Lao Tzu wrote: 'A fill a cup to its brim and it is easily spilled'." Shino remarked.
"I think he meant that as a metaphor and people should not be excessive about anything." Dr. Katz said. "Like being overly polite."
"You are completely right and wise." Shino praised him.
"You are not going to lift up my ego with your comments about me to avoid talking about your problem." Dr. Katz stated. On his notepad, he wrote and underlined: "I am completely right and wise."
"I would conclude a man of your intellect and virtue would not fall for such a trap." Shino said. Dr. Katz had a thought of Shino bowing down to him as he brushed his teeth. Dr. Katz smiled and buzzed Laura. "Cancel all my appointments for the rest of the day." Dr. Katz pulled his finger off the button. "Why else do you find great about me?"
"Your observance of yourself." Shino said. "You don't really care if you contradict yourself after ten seconds of saying anything."
"Oh, you're being sarcastic." Dr. Katz said.
"Your receptionist came to the same conclusion." Shino revealed. "Was she second in marks in your class after you? My problem? People don't realize I'm being ironical with them."
Example clip: (All impersonations are done by Shino)
I sit at a table with an empty bowl of ramen and have an unhealthy green tint of my face.
The ramen girl came up and stood on the other end of the bar. "Great ramen, huh?"
"Sure, greatest in the universe," I have to duck under the bar (sound of vomitting come from Shino), "if there is any food I would eat before dying, it would have to be your ramen."
End of clip:
"Can't she tell that if I ate her ramen again, it would be the thing that kills me?" Shino asked.
"Well, some people like you to tell them how it really is?" Dr. Katz.
"That is the stupidest advice I have ever heard."
"You could have suger coated that." Dr. Katz told him.
"People don't want to hear it as it really is. One of my teammates, Hinata, she's always troubling me with questions." Shino changed his voice to a whinny shy girl. "'Oh my god, if I pair up with Neji, should I fight him?' Yeah, knock yourself out; he'll give you a hand. He's from the same clan as you, as all the abilities of you, but trains harder. I can see a great out come for you. But here is the dumbest question she has ever asked me."
Clips: (All voices done by Shino)
Hinata walked up to me. "Can I bug you? Tee-hee, I made a funny."
"What is it?" I ask.
"Do you think that Naruto likes me?" She asked.
"How should I know?" I ask her.
"Well, you're both boys." She concluded with valuable insight. What kind of comment is that: "Well, you're both boys."
End of Clip
"If that comment was true then who cares which boy you go out with. How does she think wars start up." Shino added.
Clip:
Two dictors are sitting having a drink at a bar.
"Hey, I'm a dictor, your a dictor. We don't disagree with anything. You want to go to war with me, what do I want?" One dictor said.
"We'll let the men fight, they wouldn't object to being used as tools for our amusement. They're guys, we're guys. We all agree!" The second dictors said. The two click glasses and the second one toasted: "To the death of millions of consenting men!"
End of Clip
A jazzy soft music played.
"Oh," Dr. Katz said. "You know what the music means?"
"Great, I thought you were in denial about it." Shino said.
"Actually, I believe it is the alarm that we have gone five minutes over," Dr. Katz said, "I'm going to have to charge you for this new full hour."
"Excellent," Shino relaxed back on the coat, "I have so much more to complain about."
"Okay, it was the ending tune," Dr. Katz confessed. "Now you don't have to go home, but you are also not welcomed here for the rest of the day."
Ben walked into the front room of his father's practice. He looked over to Laura at her desk with her arms crossed and peered over to where she was looking. "Wicked." Ben nodded his head at the naked blonde girl sitting on a seat with patches of cloud. Ben walked over to Laura. "I predict a forecast of partial clouds in the day and at night a clear sky seen on my bedroom."
"Sure," Laura said. "Why don't you go talk to her?"
"You think I have a chance with her?" He asked.
"I'm positive that you have as much chance with that girl as the hottest guys on the planet." She declared. "Go and buy her ramen."
"Maybe some other time," Ben said. He looked over at Naruto and she looked down in shame. "So the game begins."
"It has already started for me." Laura said.
"Is my dad getting out soon?" He asked.
"No, he has to see the patient over there again."
"I'm going to spy on some ninjas." Ben said. "Interested?"
"No."
"See you tomorrow."
"Not if I poke my eyes out tonight." She remarked.
"But if you poke your eyes out, then I could still see you here tomorrow."
"If I poke my eyes out," she asked him, "would I really come in tomorrow?"
Ben waited at the corner of the alley for the cereal in the supermarket. A short haired pink girl accompanied by a girl with black hair wrapped in buns on the sides of her head looked at a note and searched the boxes of cereal. "Why do we have to do this, TenTen?" Sakura asked.
"All the other missions involved fighting," Tenten sighed. She picked up a box. "Okay, got it. Let's go pay for it."
"Wait, wait," Ben walked up to them. "You're ninjas, right? You know, I want to see some flips."
"But we are only buying a box of cereal." Sakura remarked. Ben tore the box away from Tenten and put it back on the shelf.
"That is the way my grandma buys cereal." Ben stated and pointed at a box on the top shelf. "This is a ninja mission, not some girly frolic in the enchanted fairy forest owned by pink ponys with flowers in their tails reigning over mystical fairies and a legion of fruity boys who you are attracted to with their dark personalities and stand offishness. So make with the flipping, you, you, tools of tactics."
Dr. Katz with his notepad over his eyes had Naruto in girl form in his office.
"I can't stop them, everyone is glaring at me. Can't they leave me alone?" Naruto's soft feminine voice peaked in tone.
"When you first came here, Naruto," Dr. Katz said. "Naruto. That is what you want to be referred to in your form right?"
"Of course!!!" he tried to sound angery but failed cutely. "It is better than 'Hey, chick!'; 'Yo, Mama.', or 'Come right, babe'."
"Well, when you first came here, Naruto, you wanted to be recognized. And now that you are, you can't get enough of it. Have you heard of the Lao Tzu saying: 'Fill the glass to the brim, and you get fully billed.' Well, something like that. Anyways, you have too much attention and couldn't like it." Dr. Katz explained. "Not all attention is good and you have to be able to moderately enjoy your time when you aren't in the spotlight. Your master, Kakashi gave me this scroll to underchange you. He told me to tell you that you can't say he never did anything for you."
He put down his notebook. Dr. Katz eyes intensified and he performed some hand seals. "Reverse technique!"
A flash of light emmited from his eyes and it filled the room. Dr. Katz tried to speak but his mouth ejected a picture of Naruto in his girl form. "What was that technique?" Naruto said, then reformed back into his former self. "Hey, it worked!"
"I wonder why a picture was taken." Dr. Katz stated as Naruto left the room.
Naruto's teachers, both grey haired men, Kakashi and Jiraiya stood against a railing in the Naruto world near a portal that goes into Dr. Katz's world. Jiraiya, an older man with hair that went down to the ground, jumped up and down. "When is it going to develop?"
Kakashi reached under his blue face mask that covered his mouth and removed the picture. The two huddled over it, with Kakashi with a hand over his mouth, and his uncovered eye surrounded in red, while Jiraiya drooled.
Ben came into the living room with two black eyes and swollen cheeks with red on them that looked like part of a hand. He put down the box of cereal on the coffee table and threw his beaten body on the couch beside his father. "I hate ninjas," he said. "Wouldn't even do a back flip to get a box of cereal."
"Ben, did you piss off the machines of mass murder?" Dr. Katz asked.
"No, I showed the girls a great time and at the end of the night I suggested the customary ninja way of saying that you had a great time with a little ass whimping." Ben groaned.
"Did the first date thing, huh? Took them out to a defenseless village, murdered the parents, and enslaved the children. No ninja can resist that." Dr. Katz laughed lightly.
"And a moonlight stroll along the roof top of a feudal lord. My charm was on tonight." Ben laughed calmly. "On a serious note dad. You know the political correct way of referring to a ninja?"
"Machines of mass murder. Yes."
"Well, don't call them the politically incorrect term." Ben suggested.
"I'll take the note down," Dr. Katz said. "What is it?"
"Tools of tactics."
"That ninja union has really being busting balls over that." Dr. Katz concluded.
Next patients: Sasuke and Shikamaru