Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and its characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Viz Video, and a bunch of other people. Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and probably the same other people. Etc, etc. you know how this goes.
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The day was a day like any other. It began with the sun rising over the small district of Nerima located in the aptly named Land of the Rising Sun. Birds sang their songs among the branches of the trees as they always did, while the people of the town were just rising from their beds to go about their daily rituals and routines that were standard in society. They showered, groomed themselves, dressed nicely, ate a hearty breakfast, and quickly left for work or school. There was one individual, however, that was a bit of an odd ball when it came to this commonplace activity of the morning. One particular man whose morning routine was a far cry from the norm.
"HAHAHA!! What a haul! What a haul!" Happosai cackled, waving a particularly scandalous peace of feminine undergarments over his head wildly before snuggling against it and shoving it into the large sack on his back. A scream of horror and anger rang out from the home Happosai was standing on top of as a variety of objects from soap bars to barbells were hurled at him in an attempt to enact vengeance against the diminutive panty thief. Happosai merely cackled again and was off, running across shingles, fences, walls and telephone poles as he journeyed from window to window, snatching all the laundry of the feminine variety that he could get his shriveled little hands on.
"Ah, this is the perfect morning! I've made more finds today than I have all week, nothing could ruin my good mood now." Happosai said with a smile on his face, foolishly tempting the angry fates that kept a constant vigil on the small district of Tokyo as at that very moment, a certain 16-year- old martial artist with a pigtail happened across the old man.
"Hey you old goat, stealin' panties so early in the morning. Don't cha have a shred of decency in that old mummified body of yours?" Ranma Saotome said with annoyance, stopping his fast paced journey toward the local high school by landing on the small head of the old man he was talking to, smashing it into the shingles and severely damaging the roof. Happosai stood without much trouble, dusting off his small Gi and taking out his pipe. He lit it and took a few kick puffs before looking up at the teen that was still perched on his skull.
"Ah Ranma, what brings you here?" Happosai said, completely ignoring the fact that the boy that was at least 4 times his height and weight was using his head as a stool while he gazed upward, smoking is pipe. Ranma was frankly at a loss of words, usually the initial insult followed by standing on him would have egged on a fight, but instead he was smoking his pipe and asking a question Ranma had thought he already answered.
"Um...just...heading to school..." Ranma said slowly, shifting his weight nervously as Happosai's eye twitched briefly, unhappy about the sudden motion on his bald head.
"Well you best be off, don't want to be late. I need to get back to work now, so goodbye." Happosai said, putting his pipe away and picking his sack back up as he jumped off again.
'What's up with him? Why is he acting so nice?' Ranma thought to himself, still perched upon Happosai despite the sudden movement of his chair. The fact that the old goat had blown off his attempt at a fight without even getting mildly steamed really annoyed Ranma, as he was suddenly determined to get Happosai mad at him. With this sudden thought in mind, Ranma cocked back his fist, and brought it down on the old man's face with the force of a 10-ton wreaking ball. The results were quite similar to what one might expect, as Happosai was suddenly hurled through a concrete slab at least twice his own thickness. Ranma landed with ease and picked up Happosai's sack before pulling some lighter fluid and a match box from seemingly nowhere as he went about dousing the large supply of female underwear.
"RANMA...how dare you strike your master!" Happosai shouted, jumping through the him-shaped hole in the wall to see Ranma marinating his precious silky darlings in a highly flammable fluid.
"R...Ranma! What are you doing?" Happosai asked, fear in his voice as he saw the boy strike a match.
"No! Don't! I beg of you!" Happosai pleaded, getting on his knees as Ranma held the match over the pile of soaked clothing.
"Don't what? What don't you want me to do?" He asked, faking innocence as he dropped the match, causing the sack and its contents to violently burst into flames.
"Oops! I'm so sorry! Were those yours? Here, you can have mine." Ranma said, miraculously removing his boxers without first taking off his pants as he shoved the sweaty shorts down Happosai's throat before sealing his mouth with an entire roll of duct tape and drop kicking him back through the concrete wall he had previously penetrated.
'Heh, if that doesn't get him going, nothing will.' Ranma thought as a giant fiery aura of death disintegrated the wall, allowing a very angry Happosai to stalk towards the pig-tailed boy.
"RANMA!!!! YOU WILL PAY DEARLY FOR THIS!!!!" Happosai bellowed, growing to twelve times his previous size and roaring at Ranma. Ranma, for his part, was hardly amused or interested, having seen the trick preformed various times before.
'This should be easy enough to defuse, and I might as well add injury to insult.' Ranma thought, pulling a small stone from his pocket and heating it with his Ki while Happosai came closer.
"Look! It's a women with very large breasts wearing nothing but a red silky bra!" Ranma shouted, pointing behind Happosai as he readied the red-hot rock with his other hand. Happosai immediately turned around, looking feverishly for the women in question when he suddenly felt an intense burning in his back. Ranma had hurled the rock at Happosai while he wasn't looking, striking him in the center of his back, directly above his shoulder blades.
"OW! HOT! Damn you, Ranma! There was no woman back there! Prepare to die!" Happosai screamed before rushing at Ranma and punching Ranma in the face with all his strength. He was horrified to discover, however, that Ranma was unmoved, unharmed, and didn't even flinch.
"How does ultimate weakness feel, Happosai? It seems that your height isn't the only thing you have equivalent to a baby." Ranma said with an evil smirk before punting Happosai into the stratosphere, missing the vow of vengeance that was hurled back at him.
"Heh. That should teach him. I'll remove it in a day or so, maybe then he'll learn to be nicer." Ranma muttered to himself, completely forgetting he had intentionally tried to anger the old man before he turned and ran towards Furinkan High, being very, very late.
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Incarnated
Chapter 0
Happosai's Vengeance
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Happosai sat in his small room, digging through his possessions in a desperate attempt to find what he was looking for.
"Ah ha! Here it is! My last pack of Super Soba!" He said with joy, grabbing the package of noodles and hugging them to his chest.
"With these, I'll become super strong! But with the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion, it may not be enough. Arg! But there must be some way to get back at him! If only I had the chart Cologne took from me..." Happosai said to himself, clenching his fist in anger.
"RANMA NO BAKA!!"
WHAM!
Happosai looked through the window and watched Ranma sail into the distance, briefly wondering what horrifically strong creature could possibly lay a blow on him when he looked to see Akane with her mallet breathing heavily. That's when it clicked.
"Of course! Ranma never dodged Akane's blows! If I give Akane the super soba and get her mad at Ranma, she'll pound him like last time. But a mere beating isn't enough. I want to break him! I want him to feel a pain that he can't even imagine. There must be some way to make Akane stronger...the Dogi! What did Soun do with it?" Happosai suddenly remembered a call to the second hand store as he laughed evilly, his plan coming together in his mind.
-1 week later-
It was close to 6 AM and Happosai was currently sitting outside Akane's window with a small bag on his back. He quickly looked around to ensure the coast was clear before crawling through the open window and slowly entering Akane's room, stealthily making his way to her bed as he slowly pulled her covers back and pulled a simple pair of shorts and a shirt from his sack before using his quick clothing swap technique to remove Akane's pajamas and dress her in the clothes, not even disturbing her sleep.
"Alright, you know what to do. And keep the pyrotechnics to a minimum, I don't want to wake her up." Happosai whispered into the bag as Do-Chan crawled out and nodded, leaping onto its master and beginning the flashy transformation sequence as the spare clothes Happosai stuck on Akane were shredded and the Dogi took their place. Happosai then quickly redressed Akane in her pajamas, concealing the Dogi completely as she continued to sleep, a slight movement of her head the only sign that she had noticed anything at all.
"And now for the final touches, a dose of liquid super soba injected directly into the blood stream!" Happosai said in a whispered shout, pulling out a syringe and quickly injecting Akane before putting her covers back over her and sneaking out of the room, heading towards Ranma's room for the second phase of his plan. He sat on Ranma's chest and waited an hour before he slapped his fist into his palm, finally discovering a way to wake him up despite the weakness Moxibustion.
SPLASH!
"SWEETO!"
"ARG!! GET OFFA ME, YA OLD FREAK!" Ranma-Chan screamed, punching Happosai off of her and heading to the bathroom to change genders before returning male and rather annoyed as he struck out at the diminutive master, missing by a mile at every attempt.
"Damn it! Hold still!" Ranma shouted, swinging and missing again and again as Happosai jumped back and about every time, laughing madly.
"I may be weak, but I haven't lost an ounce of my speed, Ranma! Try and catch me all you like! HAHAHA!" Happosai shouted, jumping over Ranma's head and quickly planting an object into Ranma's back pocket, the pigtailed boy none the wiser as he continued trying to hit the old pervert.
"What's all that Racket?" Akane said groggily, walking down the stairs to see Ranma chasing Happosai around.
'Heh, and now to put my plan into action.' Happosai thought evilly, as he dodged again, putting Ranma between himself and Akane.
"So Ranma, how was your date with Shampoo last night?" Happosai asked, Ranma faltered and crashed into the wall as Akane's eye started to twitch.
"You went on a date with Shampoo?!" She screamed, her aura glowing brighter than usual.
"What? Of course not! The old freak is lying!" He shouted, trying to bash Happosai again.
"Come now Ranma, no need to be ashamed of your sexual victory! Taking the virginity of an Amazon warrior is a feat that should be held with pride." Ranma ran through the wall that time while Akane practically exploded, her battle aura filled the room and noticeably raised the temperature several degrees.
"A...Akane, it's not true. You gotta believe me." Ranma muttered, backing away from the girl who suddenly became much more intimidating. Happosai gave an evil smirk, finally deciding to use his trump card as he leapt over Ranma and snatched the object he had previously planted in Ranma's pocket, revealing them to be a pair of panties.
"Why Ranma, I never expected you to be the type to keep trophies. And they're even soiled! You make your master proud!" Happosai said, holding the panties with crocodile tears in his eyes as this piece of evidence was the last thing Akane needed to damn Ranma to a world of absolute agony. Her aura raged with such a fury that Ranma had to strain his eyes just to see, the room had become uncomfortably hot and the paint was actually being stripped from the walls by the intense aura.
"RANMA..."Akane growled inhumanly, manifesting a mallet made of solid steal as she cranked it back.
"NO..." Ranma was sweating profusely as he suddenly realized his end was near. If he let this hit him like all the other times, he would surely be killed.
"HENTAI!!!!!!" Akane swung the mighty hammer as Ranma used every last bit of his defense and even a Ki shield to dampen the blow as it him square in the chest. The mallet was reduced to powder from the force of the blow and Ranma created a sonic boom that shattered all the windows throughout the neighborhood as he flew, hitting the roof with such a force, that his body tore a large portion of the second story off the Tendo home and reduced it to a shower of splinter and sawdust that rained down upon the neighborhood. Nabiki was rudely awakened by what seemed like a bomb going off and seeing that she wasn't far off, as more than 80 percent of her room was now missing, nothing left but a gaping hole and jagged wooden edges. Ranma was nowhere to be found, his body seemingly vanishing after impact from the speed he had gone at. Happosai was absolutely giddy to see his plan had worked like a charm and quickly struck the button in the front of Akane's suit and injected her with a liquid antidote of the super soba via a blowgun, removing her increased strength quickly. Akane didn't notice any of this as she just looked through the hole. Her room had essentially been atomized, since it was directly beneath the area where Ranma exited at high speed, and virtually nothing was left. A small chunk of a barbell here, what was once her carpet over there, and a single item that slowly floated to the ground that caught Akane's eye. It was a leaf with a piece of paper attached to it with Akane's name written on it. Akane suddenly remembered the festival she and Ranma went to, and the warning the man gave them about what would happen should one of the slips be lost or destroyed. Akane had kept it hidden in her closet ever since, making sure she never lost it. Now this half was all that was left, the side containing Ranma's name most likely obliterated like the rest of the house. Akane stared at the leaf for a long time before she fell to her knees and began to cry, sawdust and wood chunks hitting the ground around her.
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Kagome leaned against the fence during PE and watched her friends playing baseball with a dejected look on her face. She was still rather annoyed about the way Inuyasha dumped her in the well, and had begun to wonder if she would ever go back.
'It's been three whole days. Why doesn't he come and get me?' She thought to herself, still looking a bit depressed as she watched the game.
"Kagome! Guess what? Hojo has been looking all over the place for you." A black haired girl said as she and two others approached her. She noticed the boy in question coming her way as the three girls quickly left, not wanting to interrupt the two.
"How have you been feeling these days, Kagome? Are you any better?" Hojo asked as he got close enough, causing Kagome to look away from the game and pay more attention.
"Huh? Yeah...I guess." She replied, a little confused.
"That's great! Then how about going to see a movie with me this Saturday?" He asked hopefully.
"This Saturday?" Kagome asked, sounding a bit surprised.
"Yeah. I'll bring a therapeutic back pad for you. Or, have you made other plans already?" He replied, sounding a bit hesitant on the second part.
"Well, not exactly." Kagome said, before thinking, 'Inuyasha will come for me by then, won't he?'
"Just say yes! You totally blew him off on your last date, right?" One of Kagome's friends asked, having been hiding behind a bleacher.
"How do you know that?!" Kagome responded, sounding a bit surprised. The three girls then stood up and dragged Kagome away, wanting to talk to her personally.
"What's with you Kagome, Hojo is a total hunk! Do you like someone else?" The lead girl asked as they dragged Kagome a decent distance away.
"What? Of course not!" Kagome insisted, not knowing what her friend was talking about.
"Then what's the problem? Take your chances when you can! Cute boys aren't just gonna fall out of the sky, you know." She said, before a strange whistling sound caused everyone to look skyward.
"LOOK OUT!"
"RUN FOR IT!" Students shouted as they cleared the baseball field, looking in shock as a red and black blur struck the center of the field with such force that an impressive crater was created as well as a dust cloud 12 feet high as the object that hit skipped and hit the ground again before bouncing and once again striking the ground and skidding to a stop, looking very much like a rock being hurled across the surface of a pond as the dust from the impacts cleared and the craters were clearly visible, as well as the object that created them.
"It's a person!" Someone shouted in surprise as everyone gathered around the downed teen. He looked a bit older then the student body and was wearing some severely damaged red and black Chinese clothing. His dirty black pigtail lay limply beside his face as the female students present easily noticed his handsome features.
"Hey, it's a cute boy!" One of Kagome's friends said, before turning to the previous speaker.
"A cute boy fell out of the sky. Quick, say something else. Maybe you can make it rain money." Before the girl could try a similar comment, everyone was silenced as the boy groaned and tried to get up just to collapse again and pass out. It was then that members of the crowd noticed a slightly darker color of red staining his shirt from the inside, and getting larger.
"Oh my god, he's bleeding! We have to get him to the nurse!" Kagome said, pulling open his shirt to gasp in horror at the sizeable hole in his chest with a large, jagged piece of wood sticking through it. No one had noticed the hole in the back of his shirt, or the piece of a support beam that was imbedded there.
"Screw the nurse, this guy needs am ambulance!" One of the boys said, pulling out a cell phone and quickly calling the paramedics. Throughout this Kagome was trying to stop the bleeding with the boy's shirt while looking at his face in shock. A sudden sense of déjà vu overcame her as she suddenly imagined the boy without the pigtail and much longer hair, wearing clothing made from Fire rat fur.
'He looks just like Inuyasha...' She thought to herself as time passed and a pair of paramedics rushed onto the scene and put the boy on a stretcher.
"He's been impaled, looks like it punctured his lung." The paramedic said as they took him towards the ambulance.
"We'd better get moving, he wouldn't last long with a wound like that." The other one said as they put the boy in the back of the ambulance and drove away, leaving Kagome to stew in her thoughts.
- - - - - -
He looked about himself without much care, he had a lot to think about as he suddenly felt himself reconsidering his decision. He shook his head and firmed his gaze. He'd go through with it, if it meant he could be with her. Suddenly his danger sense exploded as he jumped to the side and looked in surprise as three arrows imbedded themselves into the tree he had previously been standing in front of. He turned towards his attacker intent on ending their miserable life when he gasped in shock at who it was. The beautiful black haired woman dressed as a Priestess with a bow in her hands and a look of pure hatred in her eyes. The sight made his blood run cold, as he suddenly felt his heart being ripped in half and torn to shreds. She had betrayed him! How dare she!? After he said he was willing to give up his very being for her, she turned around and tries to kill him? Another volley of arrows flew his way as he dashed off into the trees, feeling nothing but bitter hatred and despair at his own stupidity. He should have known better, it was too good to be true. He only had one choice left, and he could forget his troubles in a single, swift movement. He rushed into the village and ran through the guards without bothering with them. He saw his target and quickly broke through the doors, grinning maliciously as his eyes fell upon the spherical jewel that would take away his pain. He grabbed it and dodged a hail of arrows before knocking over the lamps in the room and jumping through the roof, letting the exploding building below him to hurl him towards the forest as he ran at full speed. At last he could do what he has dreamed for his entire life. Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't hear the whistling of the air as the arrow tore through it and struck him in the left lung. He gasped in pain and surprise as the small arrow lifted him off his feet and pinned him to the go-shinboku, causing him to lose his grip on the jewel in the process. His gaze fell upon the one that had fired the arrow to see it was the same woman that he had trusted his life to, the one that betrayed him. His vision began to blur all of a sudden, making the distinct features of the forest around him become dirty combinations of random colors. He wasn't sure if his hindered vision was due to the tears that began to fall from his eyes, or the fatal wound that was slowly killing him. All he knew was absolute agony, and complete despair. The woman he loved had betrayed him, she had killed him. A single word came to his lips as he struggled to speak before his life was cut short, but the blackness came before he could speak.
- - - - - -
"Kikyo..." Ranma moaned as he came to. He blinked a few times and wiped the tears from his eyes to see that he was sitting in a hospital room. He wasn't quite sure how he got there, but he had a feeling it had something to do with the mother of all hammers on a crash course with his torso.
"God...when did she get so strong? I think she broke some of my ribs." Ranma said as he looked down and saw the bandages wrapped around his chest and assumed he was correct. He didn't notice the bloody stake sitting in a trashcan on the other side of the room as he got out of bed and stretched a bit, wincing as he aggravated his wound.
"Hurts more than a broken rib. Maybe she ruptured something." Ranma muttered, feeling the cast like bandages covering his chest and wondering what the hell she did to him. It was then that Ranma heard a gasp as he turned and looked at a nurse, who looked like she was about to have a heart attack.
"Sir, you shouldn't be walking around! You just got out of surgery, you need to let your wounds heal." The nurse said as she tried to direct Ranma back to the bed.
"Surgery? What the hell are you talking about?" He asked as he was pushed back into the bed.
"You were found in the fiend of the local school with a piece of a broken rafter impaled in your chest. You're lucky to be alive. Half a centimeter to the left and your spine would have been severed." Ranma looked absolutely shocked at this as the nurse started to leave, at which point he ripped his bandages off.
"Sir! What are you..." The nurse stopped and her jaw dropped in shock as she saw Ranma's torso. There was nothing left but a jagged scar on his chest.
"How did you...No one can heal that fast! Your operation was only 4 days ago!" the nurse said in shock, feeling Ranma's chest to ensure that it was in fact real.
"What? Four days, that'd make today Sunday. I gotta get home!" Ranma said as he quickly put his clothing on and rushed out the door, leaving the nurse completely stupefied as she stared at where he once was.
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TBC
(Author's Notes)
Next time, Ranma and Kagome will meet up again. And what's all this talk about Reincarnation?
Ryo-wolf