Mary Sue and Spike 4-ever! - a parody
Summary: A beautiful, perfect girl comes to Sunnydale to make things right. This is a parody of those fics where a new girl comes and "rescues" Spike from mean, old Buffy. This takes place sometime between Wrecked and Dead Things. M/F.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, even Mary Sue.
"You're an evil, disgusting thing!" Buffy pushed herself away from Spike. After five hours of wonderful orgasms, it was time to go, because she was a user.
Spike sat, tears falling down his face, as he watched the girl he loved leave him like yesterday's trash. It must be true, he sniffed. How could a girl like Buffy love a monster like him?
He attempted to straighten his crypt, because she had no respect for his things and always made a mess. A crash came from outside. He could hear the sounds of a fight and ran to see if there was anything he could do. Maybe there was a human in need of rescuing, because that was his true reason for fighting vampires.
The sight that he beheld almost made his undead heart beat. The most beautiful woman was fighting three vampires with grace. Her long, wavy, chestnut hair danced in the moonlight as she killed the vampires one by one.
Spike stayed back, because he didn't want her to kill him, too. He was an evil, disgusting thing. Buffy said so. The girl looked up, and Spike saw the most beautiful green eyes.
"You're a vampire," she said, slowly walking towards him.
He flinched like a woman from a Lifetime movie and waited for her to call him an evil, disgusting thing. A tear fell down his cheek.
"But, you have a lot of good inside of you." She softly touched his cheek, wiping the tear away.
"Who are you?" Nobody had ever been this understanding.
She took his hand and looked into his blue eyes. Somewhere an owl snuggled his mate.
"My name is Meriwerious Suithiana, but you can call me Mary Sue for short. I'm a slayer from the Bludah dimension. My watchers told me that my help was needed here."
"Help with what?" Spike tilted his head and looked at her with awe. How could such a small, fragile looking creature hold such responsibility? It was unlike anyone he knew.
"The Gooian clan plan to take over the world next week."
Spike pulled her through the cemetery. "We must tell the others, then."
When they got to the Magic Shop, he was surprised to see Giles. "You're back!" Spike was happy to see Giles.
Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them. "Yes. I have been informed that something is going down next week. We haven't figured it out yet, and with Willow not doing magic, I don't know if we will be able to figure it out." He looked at Mary Sue and smiled at her sweet face. Just looking at her made his worries lighten. "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name."
Spike pulled Mary Sue towards Giles. "This is Mary Sue, and I think she has information on what's going to happen next week."
Giles sighed with relief. Even though he didn't know anything about this girl, he knew she would solve the problem. "Why don't we wait until the rest are here, then you can explain everything."
One by one, the rest of the Scoobies came in and were introduced to Mary Sue, except for Buffy, who was late, because she's selfish. They couldn't get over how beautiful she was or how her hair flowed around her like a soft curtain. Dawn smiled at how Spike looked at Mary Sue. She hoped they would get together. He needed someone and really needed to get over her bitchy sister.
Buffy came in the store and didn't notice Mary Sue, because she's conceited. She stomped over to Spike. "What are you doing here? I told you to stay away from me! You evil, disgusting thing!"
She pulled back her fist to punch him in the nose. Spike cowered in fear. However, she was stopped by a petite girl with superhuman strength.
"Don't you dare hit him!"
Spike looked at the girl in gratitude. The rest of the gang looked at Buffy with disapproval.
"Buffy, this is Mary Sue." Giles gave Buffy a stern look. "She has information that may help us next week."
Mary Sue looked kindly at Giles. He reminded her of her father. Giles thought she was a nice, polite girl, like the surrogate daughter he never had. She explained to everyone that she was a slayer from the Bludish dimension who was sent to help them.
"This book should have all the information you need on these demons." She handed a large, old book to Giles.
"No research? I like you already!" Xander ran to give her a hug.
"Where are you staying?" Spike asked her.
"You can stay with us," Dawn jumped, excitedly.
Buffy didn't like this Mary Sue. Spike was looking at the other slayer more than her, and because Buffy was mean.
"Can she stay with us?" Dawn asked.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Fine." She stomped out of the shop and went home.
Later that night, Buffy couldn't sleep. Mary Sue, Willow, Tara, Anya, and Dawn were making too much noise in the living room. They were having a sleep over.
She stomped down the stairs to see Mary Sue showing them some magic.
"If you concentrate like this, you shouldn't be addicted anymore," she said to Willow.
"Oh, thank you! I'll try that."
Tara looked at Willow with approval and lovingly kissed her.
"Aw, they're back together," Dawn wiped a tear from her eye.
"Now, you need to talk to Xander about his fears," Mary Sue turned to Anya. "He's scared to death."
Anya nodded and jumped up. "I'll call him right now."
"Dawn, is there something you need to tell us?"
Dawn looked to the ground, blushing. "I've been stealing things."
Everyone gasped.
"It's just that my father left when I was young, then my mother died, and now Buffy hasn't paid any attention to me ever since she came back from the dead," Dawn cried.
Willow, Tara, and Anya turned to Buffy and shook their heads in disapproval.
Mary Sue took Dawn's hand. Everything was going to be better, now. "I know how you feel. My parents died when I was young, only they died in front of me in a very tragic way." Tears fell down her face. Everyone, except Buffy (because she was uncaring), looked at her with sympathy. Oh, how could such a horrible thing happen to someone like Mary Sue?
Buffy wondered if Mary Sue could help her with one of her many problems. Because of her father, Angel, Riley, and Giles, she had a fear of men leaving her. She had a job at a fast food place that sucked, and she couldn't expect to get a better job in the future because she was the slayer. Since the age of fifteen, she, alone, was responsible for protecting the world from evil. When she thought she was finished, she was dragged from heaven by her friends. Now, she had to live in a harsh, bright world, not knowing if she would be dragged back if she died again. This was on top of the fact that she was responsible for her little sister and couldn't go to her mom for help because she was dead. Oh, and three geeks were making her life miserable.
"Buffy, you need to pay more attention to Dawn. She's been through so much." Mary Sue stroked Dawn's hair.
Buffy, because she was a bitch and not because she also had been through a lot, stomped back upstairs.
A few days later, everyone was gathered at the Magic Shop to go over the plan for next week. This consisted of Mary Sue doing the actual fighting, and the rest of the gang standing around.
"Are you coming to the barbecue tonight?" Willow asked Buffy after the meeting.
"What barbecue?"
"The one at Spike's."
"He's having a barbecue at his crypt?"
Willow rolled her eyes. "No, silly. At his new condo." When Buffy looked at her in confusion, she continued. "The one he can afford now that he's teaching English at the University?"
He never told me that, Buffy thought fuming. She searched for him to tell him off, because she was a bully. At the back, she saw him kissing Mary Sue. Jealousy reared its ugly head, and she ran away. As she ran, she realized that she loved him, and that she was a horrible, horrible person.
At the barbecue, Spike and Mary Sue officially announced that where seeing each other. Dawn jumped with joy. Willow and Tara smiled knowingly at each other. Anya dragged Xander away for sex. Giles smiled, happy that Spike finally found someone. The stars and moon shone a little brighter. The night birds sang. The air was permeated with the scent of Pure Love.
And Buffy fumed. But then, she deserved it, because she was terrible.
Buffy caught Spike alone. She jumped, kissing him and trying to take his pants off. Spike roughly pushed her away.
"No, Buffy, I can't. I love Mary Sue, now."
Buffy, from the ground, pleaded, "I love you. Please take me back."
"It's too late. Maybe if you hadn't used me or punched me or called me names." Spike held his head up high and tilted his shoulders back. "I've found someone who loves me the way I am."
He walked out with his head held high, thanking the copy of "Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself" he read last night.
Buffy cried, "Nooooooooooooooo!"
Dawn, Willow, Tara, Giles, Xander, and Anya came into the room. Buffy's cry was tainting the Aura of Love which surrounded the condo.
"What's wrong?" Willow asked.
"I'm in love with Spke."
Everyone gasped.
"I was using him for sex. Now, he's found someone else."
Everyone looked disgusted with her, and she hung her head in shame.
"You used him? After what he did for me while you were gone?" Dawn spit out. She turned away from her. "I can't look at you right now."
"But, he's just an evil, disgusting thing!" Buffy protested.
"You're wrong, Buffy," Xander said, shaking his head. "I might have agreed with you a week ago, but seeing him with Mary Sue made me realize that I was wrong to judge him."
"There's a lot you need to learn about Vampires, I'm afraid." Giles cleaned his glasses, again.
Dawn turned to her in rage. "You don't deserve Spike. I'm glad he found Mary Sue!"
Willow, Tara, and Anya only shook their heads.
"Just look at how deeply he loves Mary Sue. Would an evil, disgusting thing love like that?" Tara asked softly.
Deeply shamed, Buffy ran home.
The next week, Buffy came out of her bedroom to help fight the Gooian demons, which consisted of standing in her spot. The fight went well, Mary Sue successfully defeated the clan, sending them back to the hell dimension they came from. The others were successful in their parts of chanting a spell Mary Sue gave them and shouting during the fight. Spike got a few punches in as well to stay manly.
Buffy turned to go home, but Mary Sue walked up to her.
"Spike told me about you two." Mary Sue stood with her hands on her hips. "He loved you, and you treated him like garbage!"
Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but the only words that came out were, "But he's an evil, disgusting thing!"
Mary Sue violently shook her head. "He's a kind man, yes, I said man. He protected Dawn during the summer when you were gone, and he loved you. He has done nothing to deserve your treatment. "
Spike appeared behind Mary Sue and grabbed her towards him. "You know what I want to do right now? All that fighting makes me so hard."
He swung her around, pressed her against a tree and ripped her pants off. Unzipping himself, he was inside her before Buffy had a chance to look away. Mary Sue looked shocked, but her reddened cheeks betrayed her excitement. As they both came, he vamped out and bit her. It had been so long since he bit someone alive, that he accidently took too much blood. Mary Sue slumped to the ground, dead.
Spike zipped himself up and looked at Buffy. "I guess you were right, I am evil."
"Why didn't your chip go off?" Buffy glanced down at Mary Sue.
Spike looked from Mary Sue to Buffy and shrugged. "Nobody that perfect's human." He smiled at her. "You still love me?"
"Maybe." Buffy swung back and popped him in the nose. "That's for fucking her in front of me."
"Bloody hell!" Spike felt his nose, it wasn't broken. A devilish grin spread over his face. "You want to go back to my condo?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
The End
Summary: A beautiful, perfect girl comes to Sunnydale to make things right. This is a parody of those fics where a new girl comes and "rescues" Spike from mean, old Buffy. This takes place sometime between Wrecked and Dead Things. M/F.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, even Mary Sue.
"You're an evil, disgusting thing!" Buffy pushed herself away from Spike. After five hours of wonderful orgasms, it was time to go, because she was a user.
Spike sat, tears falling down his face, as he watched the girl he loved leave him like yesterday's trash. It must be true, he sniffed. How could a girl like Buffy love a monster like him?
He attempted to straighten his crypt, because she had no respect for his things and always made a mess. A crash came from outside. He could hear the sounds of a fight and ran to see if there was anything he could do. Maybe there was a human in need of rescuing, because that was his true reason for fighting vampires.
The sight that he beheld almost made his undead heart beat. The most beautiful woman was fighting three vampires with grace. Her long, wavy, chestnut hair danced in the moonlight as she killed the vampires one by one.
Spike stayed back, because he didn't want her to kill him, too. He was an evil, disgusting thing. Buffy said so. The girl looked up, and Spike saw the most beautiful green eyes.
"You're a vampire," she said, slowly walking towards him.
He flinched like a woman from a Lifetime movie and waited for her to call him an evil, disgusting thing. A tear fell down his cheek.
"But, you have a lot of good inside of you." She softly touched his cheek, wiping the tear away.
"Who are you?" Nobody had ever been this understanding.
She took his hand and looked into his blue eyes. Somewhere an owl snuggled his mate.
"My name is Meriwerious Suithiana, but you can call me Mary Sue for short. I'm a slayer from the Bludah dimension. My watchers told me that my help was needed here."
"Help with what?" Spike tilted his head and looked at her with awe. How could such a small, fragile looking creature hold such responsibility? It was unlike anyone he knew.
"The Gooian clan plan to take over the world next week."
Spike pulled her through the cemetery. "We must tell the others, then."
When they got to the Magic Shop, he was surprised to see Giles. "You're back!" Spike was happy to see Giles.
Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them. "Yes. I have been informed that something is going down next week. We haven't figured it out yet, and with Willow not doing magic, I don't know if we will be able to figure it out." He looked at Mary Sue and smiled at her sweet face. Just looking at her made his worries lighten. "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name."
Spike pulled Mary Sue towards Giles. "This is Mary Sue, and I think she has information on what's going to happen next week."
Giles sighed with relief. Even though he didn't know anything about this girl, he knew she would solve the problem. "Why don't we wait until the rest are here, then you can explain everything."
One by one, the rest of the Scoobies came in and were introduced to Mary Sue, except for Buffy, who was late, because she's selfish. They couldn't get over how beautiful she was or how her hair flowed around her like a soft curtain. Dawn smiled at how Spike looked at Mary Sue. She hoped they would get together. He needed someone and really needed to get over her bitchy sister.
Buffy came in the store and didn't notice Mary Sue, because she's conceited. She stomped over to Spike. "What are you doing here? I told you to stay away from me! You evil, disgusting thing!"
She pulled back her fist to punch him in the nose. Spike cowered in fear. However, she was stopped by a petite girl with superhuman strength.
"Don't you dare hit him!"
Spike looked at the girl in gratitude. The rest of the gang looked at Buffy with disapproval.
"Buffy, this is Mary Sue." Giles gave Buffy a stern look. "She has information that may help us next week."
Mary Sue looked kindly at Giles. He reminded her of her father. Giles thought she was a nice, polite girl, like the surrogate daughter he never had. She explained to everyone that she was a slayer from the Bludish dimension who was sent to help them.
"This book should have all the information you need on these demons." She handed a large, old book to Giles.
"No research? I like you already!" Xander ran to give her a hug.
"Where are you staying?" Spike asked her.
"You can stay with us," Dawn jumped, excitedly.
Buffy didn't like this Mary Sue. Spike was looking at the other slayer more than her, and because Buffy was mean.
"Can she stay with us?" Dawn asked.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Fine." She stomped out of the shop and went home.
Later that night, Buffy couldn't sleep. Mary Sue, Willow, Tara, Anya, and Dawn were making too much noise in the living room. They were having a sleep over.
She stomped down the stairs to see Mary Sue showing them some magic.
"If you concentrate like this, you shouldn't be addicted anymore," she said to Willow.
"Oh, thank you! I'll try that."
Tara looked at Willow with approval and lovingly kissed her.
"Aw, they're back together," Dawn wiped a tear from her eye.
"Now, you need to talk to Xander about his fears," Mary Sue turned to Anya. "He's scared to death."
Anya nodded and jumped up. "I'll call him right now."
"Dawn, is there something you need to tell us?"
Dawn looked to the ground, blushing. "I've been stealing things."
Everyone gasped.
"It's just that my father left when I was young, then my mother died, and now Buffy hasn't paid any attention to me ever since she came back from the dead," Dawn cried.
Willow, Tara, and Anya turned to Buffy and shook their heads in disapproval.
Mary Sue took Dawn's hand. Everything was going to be better, now. "I know how you feel. My parents died when I was young, only they died in front of me in a very tragic way." Tears fell down her face. Everyone, except Buffy (because she was uncaring), looked at her with sympathy. Oh, how could such a horrible thing happen to someone like Mary Sue?
Buffy wondered if Mary Sue could help her with one of her many problems. Because of her father, Angel, Riley, and Giles, she had a fear of men leaving her. She had a job at a fast food place that sucked, and she couldn't expect to get a better job in the future because she was the slayer. Since the age of fifteen, she, alone, was responsible for protecting the world from evil. When she thought she was finished, she was dragged from heaven by her friends. Now, she had to live in a harsh, bright world, not knowing if she would be dragged back if she died again. This was on top of the fact that she was responsible for her little sister and couldn't go to her mom for help because she was dead. Oh, and three geeks were making her life miserable.
"Buffy, you need to pay more attention to Dawn. She's been through so much." Mary Sue stroked Dawn's hair.
Buffy, because she was a bitch and not because she also had been through a lot, stomped back upstairs.
A few days later, everyone was gathered at the Magic Shop to go over the plan for next week. This consisted of Mary Sue doing the actual fighting, and the rest of the gang standing around.
"Are you coming to the barbecue tonight?" Willow asked Buffy after the meeting.
"What barbecue?"
"The one at Spike's."
"He's having a barbecue at his crypt?"
Willow rolled her eyes. "No, silly. At his new condo." When Buffy looked at her in confusion, she continued. "The one he can afford now that he's teaching English at the University?"
He never told me that, Buffy thought fuming. She searched for him to tell him off, because she was a bully. At the back, she saw him kissing Mary Sue. Jealousy reared its ugly head, and she ran away. As she ran, she realized that she loved him, and that she was a horrible, horrible person.
At the barbecue, Spike and Mary Sue officially announced that where seeing each other. Dawn jumped with joy. Willow and Tara smiled knowingly at each other. Anya dragged Xander away for sex. Giles smiled, happy that Spike finally found someone. The stars and moon shone a little brighter. The night birds sang. The air was permeated with the scent of Pure Love.
And Buffy fumed. But then, she deserved it, because she was terrible.
Buffy caught Spike alone. She jumped, kissing him and trying to take his pants off. Spike roughly pushed her away.
"No, Buffy, I can't. I love Mary Sue, now."
Buffy, from the ground, pleaded, "I love you. Please take me back."
"It's too late. Maybe if you hadn't used me or punched me or called me names." Spike held his head up high and tilted his shoulders back. "I've found someone who loves me the way I am."
He walked out with his head held high, thanking the copy of "Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself" he read last night.
Buffy cried, "Nooooooooooooooo!"
Dawn, Willow, Tara, Giles, Xander, and Anya came into the room. Buffy's cry was tainting the Aura of Love which surrounded the condo.
"What's wrong?" Willow asked.
"I'm in love with Spke."
Everyone gasped.
"I was using him for sex. Now, he's found someone else."
Everyone looked disgusted with her, and she hung her head in shame.
"You used him? After what he did for me while you were gone?" Dawn spit out. She turned away from her. "I can't look at you right now."
"But, he's just an evil, disgusting thing!" Buffy protested.
"You're wrong, Buffy," Xander said, shaking his head. "I might have agreed with you a week ago, but seeing him with Mary Sue made me realize that I was wrong to judge him."
"There's a lot you need to learn about Vampires, I'm afraid." Giles cleaned his glasses, again.
Dawn turned to her in rage. "You don't deserve Spike. I'm glad he found Mary Sue!"
Willow, Tara, and Anya only shook their heads.
"Just look at how deeply he loves Mary Sue. Would an evil, disgusting thing love like that?" Tara asked softly.
Deeply shamed, Buffy ran home.
The next week, Buffy came out of her bedroom to help fight the Gooian demons, which consisted of standing in her spot. The fight went well, Mary Sue successfully defeated the clan, sending them back to the hell dimension they came from. The others were successful in their parts of chanting a spell Mary Sue gave them and shouting during the fight. Spike got a few punches in as well to stay manly.
Buffy turned to go home, but Mary Sue walked up to her.
"Spike told me about you two." Mary Sue stood with her hands on her hips. "He loved you, and you treated him like garbage!"
Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but the only words that came out were, "But he's an evil, disgusting thing!"
Mary Sue violently shook her head. "He's a kind man, yes, I said man. He protected Dawn during the summer when you were gone, and he loved you. He has done nothing to deserve your treatment. "
Spike appeared behind Mary Sue and grabbed her towards him. "You know what I want to do right now? All that fighting makes me so hard."
He swung her around, pressed her against a tree and ripped her pants off. Unzipping himself, he was inside her before Buffy had a chance to look away. Mary Sue looked shocked, but her reddened cheeks betrayed her excitement. As they both came, he vamped out and bit her. It had been so long since he bit someone alive, that he accidently took too much blood. Mary Sue slumped to the ground, dead.
Spike zipped himself up and looked at Buffy. "I guess you were right, I am evil."
"Why didn't your chip go off?" Buffy glanced down at Mary Sue.
Spike looked from Mary Sue to Buffy and shrugged. "Nobody that perfect's human." He smiled at her. "You still love me?"
"Maybe." Buffy swung back and popped him in the nose. "That's for fucking her in front of me."
"Bloody hell!" Spike felt his nose, it wasn't broken. A devilish grin spread over his face. "You want to go back to my condo?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
The End