Bring Me To Life
A Weiss Kreuz fan fiction
By Krysana
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my own hentai mind! I just like to borrow the Weiss bishies from Koyasu-sama and Project Weiss.
Summary: How can you live if you have no reason for living? Will someone save Ken before it's too late?
Pairing/s: Ken/Aya (yep I reversed it this time - Ken gets to be top this time!), Yohji/Omi (but don't blink 'cause you'll miss it, in this chap anyway...)
Notes: Ken POV. Yaoi. NOT a songfic – but I did use the song for a little inspiration. I first thought of Aya when I heard the song, but I decided to adapt it for Ken. I gave Ken some angst. Let me know what you think!
21.05.04 This fic is a REPOST because it got pulled - I'm assuming from the explicit sexual content of Chapter 6. I will be editing that chapter and any other bits which may have offended any readers. If you reviewed before, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope you might like the chance to reread my little fic. Reviews always appreciated and reviewers huggled to pieces!
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Chapter 1The queue stretches back to the end of the block. This is one of the latest "it" clubs to be at. All the beautiful people come here.
I've been to this place many times and my name is on the all-important list. One advantage of my job is that it pays a lot. The management of this establishment obviously appreciate the cash I've dropped in their bar and have rewarded me for my stupidity.
I feel the stares as I walk directly in. Some stares are hostile, some appreciative. I never have a problem finding a willing partner for the night.
Okay, so I'm not that modest. I've worked hard on my body and I know it looks good. Being an athlete for so many years and now being an assassin, I have to be in impeccable shape.
Besides I've been complimented on my washboard abs by practically every person I've slept with.
It's dark and crowded as I enter the club. Bodies are everywhere packed into the small standing room or gyrating on the dance floor. Anonymous faces surround me. The perfect place to just be one of the crowd.
Tonight I am not an assassin. I'm just another clubber seeking the oblivion of drink, dance and sex.
There's a few people who catch my eye but I head to the bar first.
"Hidaka-san. Your usual?" The sharp eyes of my preferred bartender have spotted me already.
I nod and pay for my beer as I settle on to my stool.
The dance floor is full and I peruse the people on display. Lots of skimpy clothes and expanses of toned flesh. It's a hedonist's paradise.
The beer is cold as it slides down my throat. I'm drinking to forget about my meaningless life. How did I slide from Ken Hidaka, J-league star to being a dead man moonlighting as a Weiss assassin?
Another day. Another mission. For every bad guy that we take down there seems to crop up five others. It's a hard life. But hey, when you're dead, you don't have much choice right?
But tonight's mission was worse than I expected. It was to be a routine execution - leader of a drug cartel, infiltrate his mansion, eliminate him and any bodyguards and remove some crucial files from his computer and leave.
Aya and I were the execution squad. Yohji and Omi were on data retrieval. Everything was going according to plan until right after we popped the guy. The door to his study opened and a young voice was calling for her otousan. The girl was followed by her mother who immediately started screaming on discovering her decapitated husband and his similarly disposed goons.
It humanised the whole mission. It's easier to think of the bad guys as just that, bad guys. Knowing he had a wife and kid, well, that's just a fact on a piece of paper. Meeting said wife and child, it makes a hell of a difference.
Today I just deprived a little girl of her father and a wife of her husband. Even though my head tells me he was an evil man and he deserved it, my heart remembers and hears the cries of the bereaved.
How did my life end up like this?
I didn't talk on the car ride home. Yohji was driving us in his Seven and he was chatting away with Omi in the front seat. Aya was silent too - big surprise there.
I headed up to my room as soon as the car was parked. I'd have a shower later. At that moment I just wanted to be alone.
I curled up on my window seat. The moon was out. It was bright and it shined on my bloodstained clothes. I removed my bugnuks and threw them in their usual place for cleaning.
The blood was dry. It was a dark burgundy colour. I remember that just a few hours ago the blood was bright red, dripping from my claws, splayed from the bodies of the dead.
Why did I pick such a weapon? It's not a neat weapon like Omi's or Yohji's and it's not a classic weapon like Aya's. But bugnuks suit me very well. They're a weapon which demands excellent physical condition and quick arm reflexes - much like that of a goalie.
People think I'm a nice guy. But there's a dark side to this nice guy. I'm best at hand-to-hand combat. I can take any of the other guys anytime. Aya's lucky that I wasn't trying to kill him the first time he showed up at the Koneko. I was only trying to teach him some manners else our team would only have three members.
Besides Kritiker probably wouldn't be happy if I had killed the new Weiss member. Because they saved me from the fire, I'm their property until they release me or I die. Birman wasn't kidding when she asked me to become her dog.
But what choice did I have? I'd just lost everything in my world. My J-league career was gone. My lover and best friend was taken from me. My family had been gone even longer. My parents died when I was young and I was brought up in a number of foster homes.
Like I said, there wasn't a choice and Kritiker knew it.
Yeah life's unfair sometimes.
I like to think that with Kritiker I'm helping the world by cleaning up some of the trash in it. But with each person I kill, there's just more blood staining my hands.
When I wanted to leave Weiss for a girl I met, Yuriko, it all comes back to the blood on my hands. I'm a murderer. I don't have the right to love anyone. I'm living in hell. I can't bring an innocent into my life.
Each new day brings only more blood. Can my hands ever be clean again?
What a maudlin state of mind I'm in. I know if I was at home I'd be reaching for the knife in my bottom drawer.
Yeah, bet that surprised you. Didn't know Ken was into that, did ya?
Some people call it self-mutilation. I just know that the pain makes it all real. When my guilty blood is flowing out, I can feel again. I can wash away the guilt and be cleansed.
I'm in control of the blade at the moment, but one day I might cut myself deeper than I mean to. No big loss there. I'm sure Birman can find another dog.
It's easiest to do it after a mission. My clothes are already bloodstained. If there's extra on them no one's gonna know when we do the laundry tomorrow.
But I gotta be careful. Omi nearly caught me last time. I had to throw my knife under the bed when he entered after knocking only once. I told him that the wound was from the mission and it had reopened when I leant over. He gave me a look, of course I saw it, but I put on my dumb jock face and he believed me. Still it wouldn't do to arouse his suspicions.
Anyway it wasn't an option today. Omi has started doing rounds to check on us all after a mission. So that leaves only one other way to get me out of this slump. I headed off to a club to get drunk and get laid. Another way to numb the emptiness of my life. Yeah it's something I learnt from Yohji.
I headed to the bathroom as soon as I heard the door open. Aya had just come out. I knew it was him because the blood squad always gets to use the bathroom first. And besides I could smell the shampoo that he uses.
Yeah I'm in lust with the guy. He's pretty damn hot you know. That white skin, deep voice, red hair, slim physique. What's not to like?
And he's got a seriously great piece of ass. Every time he bends over in the shop to pick up some plant or whatever, I can get hard just looking at him. I'd like to screw him senseless for a week. Somehow I don't think I'll ever get that chance. Aya's the asexual type.
Yohji's the overtly sexual one of Weiss. He'd like us all to believe that he beds a new woman every day. Maybe he does. But I think he's just in denial. I've seen the looks he's been giving Omi. Sooner or later Omi's gonna notice too.
And on to our last member Omi. He was trained to be a killer. He's not an innocent at all and he has the best mask of us all. Those schoolgirls who frequent the Koneko would be shocked at the things our Omi gets up to.
So that's all of us. A group of dead people. We live together, work together and kill together.
I was going crazy stuck in the house. I had to get out.
I finished my shower and wiped off quickly. Back to my room to get changed. Club clothes are at the back of my wardrobe. I grabbed a pair of leather pants and a tight black shirt. I grabbed a jacket too as the shirt is sheer in case any of the guys are downstairs.
I don't know why I hide this part of my life to the others.
They think I'm a wholesome Japanese boy. A former athlete who teaches soccer to kids. I do love kids. They're so unpretentious. I love to share my sport with them as I know that it was one of the things that helped me survive my childhood.
Sport got me out of the house and gave me something to aim for. It was fantastic while it lasted. J-league was the best thing that ever happened to me. At the time I thought I had the whole world in my hands. I had the best job in the world and my lover Kase was there with me. The higher you are just means the harder you fall.
One minute I had it all, the next it was all gone.
I can't forget Kase. I won't ever let myself get into that situation again. I believed him when he told me he wasn't involved in my disgrace. It's hard for me to believe he hated me that much. So many years and so much history between us. He was my first lover. I'll always remember him for that.
All these thoughts make me even more depressed. I gulp down the remains of my beer.
"Hidaka-san. Can I get you another one?" My bartender asks, noticing the nearly empty bottle in front of me. He gives me a flirty smile.
"Sure." I flash a smile back at Hiro. I know he's interested in me but I have a rule that I won't get involved with staff. It's just too messy when it ends.
"Let me get that for you." A good-looking blonde approaches me.
I'd noticed him when I walked in. Seems he noticed me too.
Hiro passes me another ice-cold bottle of Sapporo, letting his hand briefly touch mine as he does. His look is all innocence except for his eyes.
I smile again but turn around on my stool as Hiro's services are required by other patrons.
My new friend is called Keisuke. He's about my age, young and cute with spiky yellow hair. We get into a discussion about bikes versus cars. He's seriously into street racing and I enjoy a good mechanical discussion. [1]
By consensus we move to the dance floor after our bottles are empty.
The music is loud and the bass is throbbing. There are people everywhere crushed into the small dancing space. It gives would-be couples the chance to get close and downright dirty with each other. Exactly what I want.
Keisuke is a good dancer as I expected. He matches my rhythm, intertwining his body around mine. Even with such a small space, people are stopping to look at us.
We continue to dance and drink. The understanding has been settled. I know who I'm going home with tonight.
We stop for a break and Keisuke spots an empty table on the side. There's only one chair but that's enough.
I sit on the chair and the blonde straddles my legs, settling onto my lap. He leans over to kiss me and the action is getting hot and heavy.
I may be an exhibitionist on the dance floor, but I draw the line at having sex in a club packed with people. I can manage it with a girl, but it doesn't work so well with a guy. I better slow down my eager partner. I pull away from Keisuke.
"Want another drink?"
He pouts.
I stroke my hand down his cheek to his chin.
"I'll be right back," I tell him as my other hand trails down the zipper of his pants.
Keisuke nods. "Hurry back lover," he purrs.
I walk over to the bar. My gaze slides around the room, noting common patrons and nodding in acknowledgement to a few acquaintances.
A glimpse of red catches my eye. What the fuck?!
"So what brings you to this part of town Aya?" I drawl after I make my way across the room to stand before my red-haired team mate.
I look him up and down insolently. He's looking pretty damn good in his black sleeveless assassin shirt and black pants. He really suits black – it makes his pale skin even more obvious. And desirable.
"I followed you," is Aya's simple reply.
"Why? I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself." I make a show of running my hand down the front of my see-through shirt, bringing Aya's attention to my chest.
I don't know what's gotten into me. Suddenly I'm consumed with wanting to show Aya what I really get up when I'm out of the house.
In the Koneko I'm trapped in the life of being a florist assassin. I generally toe the line and don't draw attention to myself.
Since he's followed me here, he must've seen me on the dance floor.
Aya's gaze is still on my chest. "Ken…" He looks directly at me as he says, "I'm concerned about you."
To say I'm surprised is an understatement. Here's the guy who I thought was only interested in money and work. I'm amazed he thinks about me at all and that he followed me today.
But I'm not in the mood for a deep and meaningful conversation. I'm here for action – action that will stop me from thinking about how empty my life is.
"What's to worry about? I'm fine." I'm already turning to dismiss Aya from my night.
He grabs my arm to stop me from moving.
"You're not doing yourself any good by this destructive behaviour." Who would have guessed that Aya's amethyst eyes could be so empathic?
"What are you talking about? I'm just drinking and having a good time. Made a new friend over there." I point at my table across the room. I notice that Keisuke is not looking very happy.
Aya doesn't look too happy about him either. But then Aya doesn't look happy at many things.
Aya speaks again. "Ken, what is your problem? This could have an effect on Weiss."
Ah. I get it now. Weiss leader just wants to ensure his minions are in optimal condition. A problem could result in a failed mission.
My heart has plummeted and I realise that I thought Aya was genuinely concerned about me, Ken Hidaka. But it's really only about Siberian of Weiss.
I remove Aya's hand from my wrist.
"This is my problem Aya. Want to do something about it?"
I place his hand firmly on my crotch where my traitorous body is still reacting to his proximity.
Aya's eyes widen slightly at the contact.
He doesn't move for a few seconds.
I laugh and remove my hand from his wrist.
"Well I better go and find my friend," I say, putting emphasis on the word friend.
And I walk away without a backward glance.
- tbc -
[1] Yes I'm using Seki's voice char from Initial D! I'm too lazy to come up with a new OC. Besides I think it's funny for them to be talking to each other with the same voice. laugh
So what did you think, huh?