I thought that I would never have to deal with this again... not again.. I
don't think that I can handle another one... God the doctors said that he was
going to be fine... I barely notice that there are people rushing by me as my
mind goes fuzzy recalling earlier as I walked into my apartment to see my
husband sitting on the couch.
"Hi Honey, How was your shift"
"My night was going alright until the last hour of my shift and Bosco and I had to pull this drunken father off his kid, he was beating him with some sort of belt, I thought Bosco was going to kill him."
"But are you allright?"
"Yeah I am fine, it just makes me thankful that I have two kids that I love, and a husband that would never hit them. How was your day?"
"I left work early, I wasn't feeling well, I started having really bad heartburn so the boss told me to go home, I didn't have much to do anyhow, it was pretty quiet"
I needed a shower, badly, so I kissed Fred and headed of to kiss my kids goodnight and just to watch them sleeping for a while. Being a cop you see things that make you thankful that you have healthy kids and a healthy home, well somewhat healthy, I had been fighting with Fred for months now, well ever since I had decided to go back to work. He wasn't too thrilled with the idea of me going back in the first place but I told him that I had to be what I am, a New York City Cop, it is what I was born to be and what I love doing, I wouldn't trade this job for the world.
Eventually he relented, and then I dropped the second bomb, I was going back to be with Bosco in 55-David it was then that the sht hit the fan, Fred flipped out that he was the one responsible for me getting shot in the first place, and then I had to remind him that I was the one who wanted to be there, to help him, like I always have been...and besides I got a small bonus out of it... I shot that bitch, who was causing my relationship with Bosco to go to hell in a handbasket.... this time my aim was true.. the last thing I remember (other than Bosco standing over me) was looking to the side and seeing that bitch with a hole right between the eyes...... she wont cause any more trouble between us anymore. Well when I told Fred that we fought like we have never fought before.. I knew that he didn't want me to go back to Bosco.. back to the only partner that I have ever known.. the one that has always been there for me and now we haven't been on speaking terms for almost four months.
It's been a long day and I am drop dead tired, I cant wait to crawl into bed and forget the world outside exists. I climb into the shower leaving the door open slightly so someone can use the bathroom if they wanted to. "We have to get a house someday... one with two bathrooms" unfortunately living in a place with one bathroom doesn't leave for very much privacy if you want to take a shower, at least if you want to be considerate...
I am just stepping out of the shower when Fred comes in to the bathroom, well the more appropriate term is the door crashed open and he stands there with his hand over his left shoulder.
"Fred? What?.........."
"Faith I think that it is happening again... I think I am having another heart attack"
His eyes roll back in his head as he hits the cold linoleum floor.
"NO!!!!" that is all I can remember screaming before I leap out of the bathtub and rush to Fred's side
"What's going on mom? I heard a....... Oh my god!!" I look up in time to see Em standing there all the sleep gone from her eyes as she sees her father on the floor.
"Mom what happened? Is it?? Again???"
I don't even have to tell her to call 911 she is already on the cordless talking to dispatch. I turn Fred on to his back and by this time Charlie is out of bed and by my side.
"Charlie help me" I am surprised that I am so calm despite the cold fear that has me rooted to this floor, I guess that it must be all the adrenaline that is pounding though my system. "You know how to do CPR?"
Charlie nods at me quickly and takes position by his father's head already putting him in position for mouth to mouth.
"Good, you breathe for him and I will do all the rest"
It seemed like forever before Em let the paramedics in. Kim was working a double for Carlos who was with Kylie for the weekend. Kim came into the apartment with some other paramedic that I have never seen before, she took one look at me and realized who's apartment she had walked into.
"Oh Dear god Faith, not again..."
I can't imagine what I looked like; I just managed to throw a towel over myself when Fred had collapsed. Kim took over caring for Fred along with her partner and I went to my kids. By now the adrenaline that had been surging though my veins had now turned to cold fear as I held them close. Charlie had started to sob on my shoulder and Em was nowhere to be found, I think that it might have been too much for her, the first attack tried her nerves... hell it tried all of us... but now with it happening again I don't know what to do if it wasn't for Charlie holding on to me I think I might have collapsed right there on the floor. Kim turned to me as she was loading Fred on to the backboard "We're going to have to scoop and run, we've given him Lido and a couple of grams of Epi, but the sooner we get him to Mercy the better his chances will be"
I saw her and her partner carry Fred out of the apartment. When Kim turned to her again "Do you want to ride with us to Mercy?"
I don't know what I was thinking but I grabbed the keys to the truck and said that I would be following close behind. And then I watched them carry Fred away into the waiting ambulance and I felt the first tears roll down my face as Kim got into the drivers seat and went tearing off down the street with all the bells and whistles blaring.
"Is Dad going to be all right mom?"
I looked down at my son who was looking so lost....
"I don't know honey but Kim is looking after him, I am going to take you to Grandmas and then I am going to go to the hospital to be with your dad."
Charlie looked up at me and smiled, I nearly lost all my composure right there at the sight of my son trying to keep a brave front for me, when he must be scared out of his wits.
When I finally got to the hospital about 20 minutes had passed since they had brought Fred in. I got lucky and was stopped by Monroe as I sped though a stop sign, I told her the situation and she gave me a full police escort back to Mercy.
So now I stand here in the middle of Mercy watching the doctors work on my husband, trying to bring him back again, I find myself praying to God for the third time in my life when one of the doctors.. I can't remember who now because I am so worked up I can't think straight stops working on my husband and leaves the room and walks towards me.
"Mrs. Yokas?"
I snap my head so fast I was half expecting it to fall off
"Mrs.Yokas, my name is Dr.Powell, I worked on your husband, we tried everything within our power but with this second heart attack, there was too much damage to the arterial walls, I am sorry Mrs.Yokas, but we just couldn't bring him back this time"
I don't believe what I am hearing it is like this isn't happening.... No this can't be.. he survived the last one! He could survive another one! This Quack is just playing with me! No wait he isn't smiling... this IS serious... I have lost my Freddy.... No god no!!!!!
The last thing I remember was the room was getting larger...and it was spinning really fast.... I can't do this.. I can't loose my husband..... no....I didn't even feel the strong arms that caught me before I hit the ground.
"Hi Honey, How was your shift"
"My night was going alright until the last hour of my shift and Bosco and I had to pull this drunken father off his kid, he was beating him with some sort of belt, I thought Bosco was going to kill him."
"But are you allright?"
"Yeah I am fine, it just makes me thankful that I have two kids that I love, and a husband that would never hit them. How was your day?"
"I left work early, I wasn't feeling well, I started having really bad heartburn so the boss told me to go home, I didn't have much to do anyhow, it was pretty quiet"
I needed a shower, badly, so I kissed Fred and headed of to kiss my kids goodnight and just to watch them sleeping for a while. Being a cop you see things that make you thankful that you have healthy kids and a healthy home, well somewhat healthy, I had been fighting with Fred for months now, well ever since I had decided to go back to work. He wasn't too thrilled with the idea of me going back in the first place but I told him that I had to be what I am, a New York City Cop, it is what I was born to be and what I love doing, I wouldn't trade this job for the world.
Eventually he relented, and then I dropped the second bomb, I was going back to be with Bosco in 55-David it was then that the sht hit the fan, Fred flipped out that he was the one responsible for me getting shot in the first place, and then I had to remind him that I was the one who wanted to be there, to help him, like I always have been...and besides I got a small bonus out of it... I shot that bitch, who was causing my relationship with Bosco to go to hell in a handbasket.... this time my aim was true.. the last thing I remember (other than Bosco standing over me) was looking to the side and seeing that bitch with a hole right between the eyes...... she wont cause any more trouble between us anymore. Well when I told Fred that we fought like we have never fought before.. I knew that he didn't want me to go back to Bosco.. back to the only partner that I have ever known.. the one that has always been there for me and now we haven't been on speaking terms for almost four months.
It's been a long day and I am drop dead tired, I cant wait to crawl into bed and forget the world outside exists. I climb into the shower leaving the door open slightly so someone can use the bathroom if they wanted to. "We have to get a house someday... one with two bathrooms" unfortunately living in a place with one bathroom doesn't leave for very much privacy if you want to take a shower, at least if you want to be considerate...
I am just stepping out of the shower when Fred comes in to the bathroom, well the more appropriate term is the door crashed open and he stands there with his hand over his left shoulder.
"Fred? What?.........."
"Faith I think that it is happening again... I think I am having another heart attack"
His eyes roll back in his head as he hits the cold linoleum floor.
"NO!!!!" that is all I can remember screaming before I leap out of the bathtub and rush to Fred's side
"What's going on mom? I heard a....... Oh my god!!" I look up in time to see Em standing there all the sleep gone from her eyes as she sees her father on the floor.
"Mom what happened? Is it?? Again???"
I don't even have to tell her to call 911 she is already on the cordless talking to dispatch. I turn Fred on to his back and by this time Charlie is out of bed and by my side.
"Charlie help me" I am surprised that I am so calm despite the cold fear that has me rooted to this floor, I guess that it must be all the adrenaline that is pounding though my system. "You know how to do CPR?"
Charlie nods at me quickly and takes position by his father's head already putting him in position for mouth to mouth.
"Good, you breathe for him and I will do all the rest"
It seemed like forever before Em let the paramedics in. Kim was working a double for Carlos who was with Kylie for the weekend. Kim came into the apartment with some other paramedic that I have never seen before, she took one look at me and realized who's apartment she had walked into.
"Oh Dear god Faith, not again..."
I can't imagine what I looked like; I just managed to throw a towel over myself when Fred had collapsed. Kim took over caring for Fred along with her partner and I went to my kids. By now the adrenaline that had been surging though my veins had now turned to cold fear as I held them close. Charlie had started to sob on my shoulder and Em was nowhere to be found, I think that it might have been too much for her, the first attack tried her nerves... hell it tried all of us... but now with it happening again I don't know what to do if it wasn't for Charlie holding on to me I think I might have collapsed right there on the floor. Kim turned to me as she was loading Fred on to the backboard "We're going to have to scoop and run, we've given him Lido and a couple of grams of Epi, but the sooner we get him to Mercy the better his chances will be"
I saw her and her partner carry Fred out of the apartment. When Kim turned to her again "Do you want to ride with us to Mercy?"
I don't know what I was thinking but I grabbed the keys to the truck and said that I would be following close behind. And then I watched them carry Fred away into the waiting ambulance and I felt the first tears roll down my face as Kim got into the drivers seat and went tearing off down the street with all the bells and whistles blaring.
"Is Dad going to be all right mom?"
I looked down at my son who was looking so lost....
"I don't know honey but Kim is looking after him, I am going to take you to Grandmas and then I am going to go to the hospital to be with your dad."
Charlie looked up at me and smiled, I nearly lost all my composure right there at the sight of my son trying to keep a brave front for me, when he must be scared out of his wits.
When I finally got to the hospital about 20 minutes had passed since they had brought Fred in. I got lucky and was stopped by Monroe as I sped though a stop sign, I told her the situation and she gave me a full police escort back to Mercy.
So now I stand here in the middle of Mercy watching the doctors work on my husband, trying to bring him back again, I find myself praying to God for the third time in my life when one of the doctors.. I can't remember who now because I am so worked up I can't think straight stops working on my husband and leaves the room and walks towards me.
"Mrs. Yokas?"
I snap my head so fast I was half expecting it to fall off
"Mrs.Yokas, my name is Dr.Powell, I worked on your husband, we tried everything within our power but with this second heart attack, there was too much damage to the arterial walls, I am sorry Mrs.Yokas, but we just couldn't bring him back this time"
I don't believe what I am hearing it is like this isn't happening.... No this can't be.. he survived the last one! He could survive another one! This Quack is just playing with me! No wait he isn't smiling... this IS serious... I have lost my Freddy.... No god no!!!!!
The last thing I remember was the room was getting larger...and it was spinning really fast.... I can't do this.. I can't loose my husband..... no....I didn't even feel the strong arms that caught me before I hit the ground.