Title: Alone In Darkness

Authors: Sita/T'eyla

Rating: PG-13

AN: Thanks to Exploded Pen (I think you're not alone in adoring Malcolm -cough T'eyla cough-), Gabi2305 (tja, alles hat ein Ende, nur die Wurscht hat zwei... irgendwie schade, aber so isses halt nun mal), Aeryn Lavanthia (thank you! Well, we've never actually thought about writing CSI, as we know practically nothing about that show, but after your suggestion we might take a look at some stories), The Libran Iniquity (die letzte Aktualisierung... you go make it okay for your two! They need it!... well, but of course, a little evilness will always be appreciated ;-) ), Phaser Lady (yes, guess that's part of it, and because Trip has less trouble accepting the fact that people will be there for him when he needs it), stage manager (well, hope that you did! ;-) Malcolm isn't quite as bad as you think -g-), Drakcir (well, we'll stop being mean now ;-)... but thank you! We take it as a compliment...), Luna (that's right... and Trip's the only one Malcolm would open up to, so only he could make him better), Tobie Holloway (thank you!! yeah, it was about time Malcolm snapped out of it), Dacker Spaniel (wow, we'd have never thought this would make so many people cry... it's a wonderful feeling! Now, that sounds rather weird, but that's the way it is... well, babbling again, sorry), Rinne( I'm afraid not, as this is the last chapter... but I think he was already over it when he talked to Malcolm), KaliedescopeCat (sorry to disappoint you, but they're not gonna be any more evil plot twists in this one... but, on the other hand, guess the boys really need a break by now ;-) ), jazri (yup, time they got together... as in "talked", of course!! -g-), Maraschino (thank you!) and Les1 (thank you for your comments on our character development. Well, as we said before, Trip has probably put all thoughts of suicide behind him by now - but you'll still get a wrapping up of how it all turned out) for reviewing.

As this is the last chapter, we'd like to say THANK YOU to everybody who reviewed this story, and special thanks to those people who reviewed most or all chapters! You've been so encouraging and wonderful readers... well, all we can say is THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, and we're so happy you enjoyed the story so much!

Hope you'll like the last chapter as well - and feel free to review ;-)!

Thank you again,

Sita & T'eyla

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Epilogue

"It's been a year."

Malcolm buried his hands deeper in the pockets of his jacket, blinking through the snow at the remains of the huge building in front of them. He'd never seen the outside of it, and realized with something akin to surprise that it didn't at all fit his mental picture of it. It only looked like a gigantic ruin, a heap of grey stones charred black by a phaser blast that had been fired over a year ago. When he and Trip had climbed out of the shuttle earlier, they'd hardly been able to spot it, it being almost completely covered with snow.

Tearing his gaze away from the ruins, Malcolm cast a sideways glance at Trip. He didn't exactly look very shaken up either by the sight, and Malcolm had to suppress a grim smile at the irony of it. One should think it would affect us more, he thought. Being back in the place where the things had happened that still showed up in his dreams quite frequently, and which at times kept him from sleeping alltogether. He'd expected the sight of the building to trigger fear in him, or at least anger, but now that he stood here, he realized that it didn't. It was only a ruin on an alien world, covered by meters and meters of snow.

The realization surprised him, and even made him feel a little at loss. He'd come here to face these emotions, to stand up to his fear and anger and prove to himself that he could master them. But now that these feelings didn't even turn up, Reed didn't quite know what he was doing down here.

"I hadn't thought it was quite that big," he said, simply to say something, and Trip turned his head.

"Looked even bigger when I saw it first time," he answered, and Malcolm nodded.

"It wasn't destroyed then."

"Really," Trip said dryly, and Malcolm smiled ruefully. It was obvious to both of them that he'd only been making conversation, and a not very good one, either. Falling silent again, he looked back at the building.

Malcolm had never thought he'd actually return to this place one day. Last week, however, they had received orders to fly to V'nera and check on the development of the planets pre-warp society. It had taken them only two days to get here, Enterprise being less than six light years away from the V'neran system, and during those two days Malcolm had never thought about whether he was going down to the surface or not. He was, he'd known that. It had never been a question of whether or not.

Navigating the shuttle through the planet's atmosphere he and Trip hadn't spoken much. There wasn't much to say, it seemed; both of them knew why they were going down there, so what was there to discuss?

"Damn cold," Malcolm heard Trip say beside him and nodded.

"It is."

Trip crossed his arms, burying his hands in his armpits. There was a moment's silence, and Malcolm already considered asking Trip whether they should get back to the shuttle when he noticed a movement from the corner of his eyes.

"Where are you going?"

Trip waved a hand. "Just..."

Malcolm didn't ask any further but simply turned back, again staring at the stone wall of the building. It didn't surprise him as he realized that it was of exactly the same shade of grey as the walls inside, the same grey of the cell that kept appearing in his nightmares. Still.

It had already gotten a lot better, though. During those first weeks after he'd withdrawn his resignation, the time he'd spent mostly in his quarters waiting for his body to heal, he'd still received an injection every night that helped him sleep. When he'd resumed his work in the Armoury, though, he'd refused to take medication any longer and of course, after that he'd woken up from dreams almost every night. Or hadn't slept at all. Strangely, though, it hadn't been as bad as it had been after the first time they'd been abducted. The time when the tests had still been fresh in his memories. Fragments of those former dreams returned as well, but mostly he kept seeing those scenes which became scarily familiar after some time; Trip who attacked him back in that cell, shards and blood, the assistant.

Again, he frequently spent his nights in messhall, and again Trip joined him sometimes, but it wasn't like after the first time. He and Trip didn't spend so much time together because the crew shut them out, treating them like traumatized victims, but because it helped them both. Right after returning to Enterprise, Malcolm had seriously doubted their friendship would ever recover from what had happened back on the planet, but actually they seemed to have gained a new understanding of each other. The good-natured bickering that had always been the base of their interaction had grown into something... deeper? Malcolm couldn't really put his finger on it, but maybe that was even the word he'd been looking for.

A lot had happened over the last year. One could say that it hadn't been a very eventful year, with Enterprise being mostly on standard research and first contact missions, but to Malcolm it felt like a lot had changed among the crew. They seemed to have grown closer, somehow. Malcolm had also noticed that Trip and T'Pol were spending a lot more time together than before. He didn't know if they were just friends or if there was something going on between them, but even if there was, it certainly wasn't any business of his. He was simply relieved that he - them both - had managed to return to something like a normal life, after all. And most of the times when he woke up at night, sweating and feeling his heart thumping in his chest, it sufficed for him to get up, splash some cold water in his face and remind himself that things were alright. In the beginning, he'd hardly ever been able to go back to sleep after waking up from one of those nightmares, and it had taken a lot of hard work, but now he was finally back to an average of around six hours' sleep a night. Only once or twice the nightmares had left him so upset that he felt he just had to talk to someone about it, and on these occasions he had not simply gone to messhall, allowing his dark thoughts to drown him like he would have done before. Instead, he had called Trip, and despite the nightly hour Trip had always listened to him.

Malcolm sighed. One of the less favourable changes he'd noticed was that he was now even more given to brooding than before, and he realized in mild chagrin that he'd apparently been taking a walk down Memory Lane again. It happened way too often these days. And standing here staring at these scorched ruins wasn't getting him anywhere, either.

He was just about to turn around when suddenly something wet and cold hit him hard on the side of his neck. Malcolm felt icy slush trickle down his back and turned around to see Trip standing there, an apologetic smile on his face.

"Sorry," he grinned, "but it was too great a temptation."

Malcolm stared at him for a moment, unable to speak. "You... you threw a snowball at me?" he asked incredulously. Trip's grin broadened.

"Yeah, well, you were standin' there lookin' all lost in thought, and -"

"You actually threw a snowball at me?" Malcolm repeated, advancing on him, and Trip took a step backward.

"Er - yes - hey, stop, what are you do-"

That very moment a snowball hit him smack in the face, and Malcolm watched in satisfaction as Trip sputtered and shook his head, using both hands to wipe the snow off his face. When he'd recovered, Trip bent down again to scoop up some more snow, and after a brief moment of consideration the tactical officer decided that a strategic retreat might be in order. Too late, though. A second later he was being hit with loads of snowballs, and hardly found the time to gather up some ammunition himself.

It was maybe the third snowball fight in Malcolm's entire life, and certainly the strangest one, but he enjoyed it. And it seemed like Trip did, too. Pelting each other with snowballs, they were both laughing and laughing, and the sound echoed strangely through the silent ruins.

In only a few minutes' time their fight would be over, and they would stand there in the snow, panting and grinning at each other about their foolishness, but not yet. Right now they had forgotten all about their surroundings, all about past events and allowed themselves to simply enjoy the moment, like any friends do now and then. They would be leaving the ruins behind, but right now they weren't in a hurry. There was no reason to. After all, they had all the time in the world.

THE END

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