And now for something completely different.

This is a sort of interlude, taking place in the five month gap between Discovery and Mouth of Yomi. Please be kind, its my first attempt at humour. (Or flame me, whatever. I still have my asbestos undies.)

And this goes out to Cha Oseye Tempest Thrain, beta reader extraordinare, who gave me the idea in the first place.

DISCLAIMER: I do not, nor will I ever in this lifetime own the characters or universe of Yu-Gi-Oh!. I just come to visit and play. (Arigato, Takahashi-sensei!)

(Now, where did Ryou-chan go,,,)

Atem Goes Mallcrawling

Atem walked cautiously through the crowded 'mall', as Yugi called it, being careful not to touch anyone and looking at the shops with great curiosity. He had already been with Yugi to his and his aibou's favourite shop, the one that traded Magic and Wizards cards; but Yugi had to get new school uniforms fitted, a procedure that could take awhile, so Atem had wandered off on his own. He wore the Millennium Puzzle, so he could speak to his young partner whenever he wished, but right now he felt that learning to function on his own in this strange modern world would be good for him.

Despite his two years or so inhabiting Yugi's body, he nonetheless tended to be leery with anything high-tech that wasn't a Duel Disk. Like that Ra-be-damned alarm clock…

Ah, well, He would adapt, and he would get used to this strange world. He stopped by an electronics game shop and spent a few minutes playing the demo system they had set up there; the game was different than anything he was used to, but he caught on easily enough. He could see why Yugi wasn't as interested in these electronic games though - they took timing and reflexes, whereas his aibou loved puzzles.

Moving on, Atem explored a clothing shop, remembering a conversation he's had with Yugi as they had dressed this morning.

{"You know, I never used to dress like this until you came along." Yugi indicated the leather pants he was shimmying into.

"It's not my fault you had no sense of fashion." Atem retorted. "I mean really, what's with that plain white shirt?"

"It's my school uniform, dummy. I didn't have a choice."

"And those big clunky 'running shoes'? You have to admit, aibou, the boots suit you better."}

He'd broken down laughing at the look Yugi had given him. Smirking at the memory, Atem left the store and continued his perambulations. He bought an 'ice cream cone' with some of the money Jiichan had given him, savouring the cold chocolate treat.

As he walked by another store, white lights caught his eye. The store front was lit up, brilliantly reflecting off the counters of glass and silver. A dozen mirrors perched here and there, flashing whenever a passer-by made them move. Atem stared, fascinated. What could they be selling here?

He walked inside, looking like a shadow in his all-black ensemble. He glanced down through the glass counters, raising an eyebrow at the tiny coloured disks lined up inside. He licked his cone and studied them, trying to make out the kanji on the label.

"Can I help you?" A woman's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Yes. Can you tell me what you're selling?" Atem cocked his head at her curiously. She was dressed in a peculiar fashion; quite nicely, but with a plain white coat overall. He clucked his tongue - she was pretty, and would be quite attractive without the coat.

"This is the makeup department, young man. Are you looking for something for your mother?"

"Makeup?" he asked.

"Cosmetics, dear." She smiled. "Eyeshadow, blush, base, you know. That kind of thing."

Atem felt his jaw slowly sag open. "Cosmetics?" he said finally. "This store sells nothing but cosmetics?"

"Of course. This is the eyeshadow…" she pointed to the counter he'd been looking at. "And this is the blush, and over here are the lipsticks…" She continued, but Atem didn't hear.

He giggled. He, Atem, former Pharaoh of Upper and Lower Egypt, giggled like a schoolgirl.

A whole store with nothing but cosmetics!

Now that he knew what he was looking at, the variety was truly mind boggling. A whole counter full of eyeshadow! And the shades…silvery white all the way to gold-tinted black. He stuffed the last of his cone into his mouth and rubbed his hands together.

"Do you know what you are looking for?" The woman was back, and by the expression on her features, she was slightly worried by the excited gleam in his eyes. The giggles probably weren't helping either.

"Hai…do you have kohl?" he asked. "It goes around the eyes…"

"Oh, eyeliner. Of course. We have several different shades of that."

She led him to a stand of samples, telling him to pick the one his mother would like and call her when he made his decision. Then she wandered off to watch something happening at the far side of the store. Atem glanced over and blinked. It looked like a contest of some type - several people were putting cosmetics on other people.

"Excuse me, miss." he called the helpful lady. He indicated the area and asked "What is going on over there?"

"Oh, that's a makeover contest. We have several makeup artists demonstrating our product on volunteers, and the winner gets a year's supply."

The gleam in Atem's eyes turned manic and he grinned. This would be fun…

Atem walked up to one of the 'artists'. She turned to glance at the young man, and the Pharaoh did something he never thought he would do in this lifetime.

He opened his eyes as wide as they would go, put on a cute smile, and did his absolute best impression of 'kawaii Yugi'. "Can I try?" he asked.

The woman smiled. "I don't think that you…" Atem blinked and drooped his shoulders, even contriving to bring up a tear.

"Please?"

No one could resist that. Atem grinned as the woman nodded. "Alright, dear." Funny how people seemed to call him that. "You can give it a try, if you can get someone to volunteer."

"Okay!" Atem straightened up and cast a glance over the crowd waiting for their turn. A pretty young thing caught his eye and he walked over to her. "Would you like to have me do you're makeup?" he asked, smiling seductively. She blushed, wide-eyed, and nodded. Triumphantly he led her to the chair and began.

Three hours later, the lineup for Atem's chair circled the store and even the employees wanted a chance with this strange young man. The make-up artists watched in awe as he applied colour with the expertise of a maestro. And when he finally finished, no one argued his right for first prize, even if he hadn't actually been entered.

Yugi waited, tapping his foot impatiently. Where could Atem have gotten to? He said over the mind link that he'd be right there, but that was fifteen minutes ago.

Finally he spotted his doppelganger making his way through a crowd, wearing a wide smile and carrying several massive bags.

"Where have you been?" Yugi demanded.

The Pharaoh laughed, amused by the look of confusion and impatience on his aibou's face. "I do believe I just found my second favourite store in the mall."

That's all folks! This is a planned one-shot, but I do take requests! Anything else you would like to see, let me know. Push the little purple button!

R&R Kudasai! Arigato!