Title: Tumble

Author: Cassandra Mulder

E-mail/feedback: Yes, please!

Rating: PG

Classification: Gilmore Girls; Luke/Lorelai; angst; romance

Spoilers: "Luke Can See Her Face", "Last Week Fights, This Week Tights"

Written: May 2 - 12, 2004

Summary: Luke turns Lorelai's world upside down, but that's not always a bad thing.

Disclaimer: I do not own "Gilmore Girls", its wacky world, or characters. I just enjoy borrowing them to play with sometimes. It all belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and the WB. No infringement is intended.

Distribution: My archive, Bound, ff.net. Anyone else, please ask, and I'll likely say yes.

A/N: Oh, what the end of the season is inspiring. It looks like those crazy kids are finally gonna have a shot, and Java Junkies all over the world breathe a sigh of relief. A tentative one, but still. I know this isn't how things will go on what will be tonight's episode, but what the heck? Angst is good. I'd like to thank my impromptu beta, Dan, because without his input, I'd likely have tossed this one in the circular file. ;)

Please remember, all feedback is cherished and adored. I don't agonize to not be fed, darn it! Now, on with the show...

---

Lorelai calmly swayed to the music, while she stood in the circle of Luke's arms, but her mind had shifted into high gear.

In Luke's arms... She stared up at him, almost in wonder, before he pulled her closer, and her chin rested conveniently on his shoulder.

He'd asked her to his sister's wedding. He'd tried to be confident, but running into his truck as he was leaving smacked of a case of nerves. That should've been her first warning.

She had known he would go to the wedding out of family duty; that was his way. What was shocking her about this moment was that he actually seemed to be enjoying himself. He was smiling. He was dancing in public. With her.

Luke Danes did not enjoy social functions of any kind. Ever.

That was why Lorelai had started to wonder if the man she was dancing with was really Luke. If his body hadn't been taken over by an alien, or somehow possessed, then she was convinced he'd been mistaking Prozac for aspirin. Something was going on, and she wasn't in on it.

"Lucas?" she murmured, where only he could hear.

"Hmmm?" was his only response.

She pulled back slightly to look at him. He wasn't giving her the evil eye, and he absolutely hated it when she called him Lucas.

"Why'd you invite me to your sister's wedding?"

"Liz likes you."

"Uh huh," she said skeptically. "And?"

"And... I knew you'd be beautiful."

She smiled, almost involuntarily, at that and stared at him.

"What has gotten into you, Luke?"

"What? I can't tell you that you're beautiful?"

"I - I don't know," she stammered, trying to get a hold on where he was going with this. "That's the second time today."

"It's just because you are," he said matter of factly, and continued leading her around the town square, smiling at all the other couples around them.

Lorelai tried to think of something to change the subject while she found her bearings.

"The wedding was beautiful," she said brightly.

"Yeah, I guess it was."

"You're okay with T.J. now?" she asked, mischief dancing in her eyes.

"He's... It's hard to believe he is now my brother-in-law, making him a member of my family, but he's all right. Goofy, but all right. Liz seems really happy, which is good, because some of the guys she was with before..." He shuddered. "It wasn't good."

Lorelai gave an understanding nod, and looked over at the happy couple, smiling and laughing at some private joke. When she was a little girl, she had sometimes pictured a day like today for herself, but things didn't always turn out the way she'd imagined them. That much she knew.

Her dreams had always included a wedding day before the baby, and the guy was like...

Luke slowly let go of her hand as the song ended, and nodded toward their table. She couldn't see it, but this day was taking a lot out of him. He was a little nervous, and he could tell he was making Lorelai nervous, but he couldn't help it. Now or never had never sounded like a better guide to life for him.

He pulled out Lorelai's chair, and she sat down, finally seeming unsurprised at how the evening was going.

"I can't believe they pulled all this off in less than two weeks. I've barely pulled off the inn, and I've had way longer than that," she said, gazing around the square once again at the elaborate decorations.

"Her friends are used to pulling all this off in a short amount of time," he replied, his own gaze fixed on her.

She turned back to him. "Thanks for inviting me. And sorry about messing with you earlier. I like Liz, too, she's really sweet."

"Sweet and misguided for most of her life. But I really think she's on the right track now."

Lorelai smiled.

"She has work she loves, a guy she loves that seems to adore her..."

"A brother who loves her," Lorelai added.

Luke gave her one of his famous shy smile-shrug combos.

"I used to want a little sister," she confided. "But once I got older I realized no dear, sweet, innocent soul - like my sister would be - deserved to have to try to survive my parents' neuroses. So I had to go it alone," she said, but she was smiling.

"Families are funny things," Luke mused.

"There are a lot of things that classify as funny, but I don't think familes are one of them," she said wryly. "But you care about Liz and Jess a lot, especially since they're all you've got."

He looked at her. Not all, he thought.

"You wanna take a walk?" he asked.

"Uh, sure," she replied, standing up immediately.

Luke didn't know if he could go through with what he was planning, but at the same time he knew he had to. His entire future depended on it - on her - and that scared him. Terrified wouldn't even begin to cover it.

He'd seen so many men walk in and out of her life, and he simply couldn't be the next one. He wanted in for life.

That was one thing. The other was that he'd seen her run. He had to make sure that she stayed to hear him out, that she didn't push him away after. Good or bad, all he knew was that he couldn't lose her.

Which was what made what he was about to say extremely risky.

Luke looked over at Lorelai as they walked, trying to judge her expression. He sighed.

She broke the silence first.

"So, Luke, you got something on your mind, or did you just want to get me alone and accost me in the woods?"

He frowned at her. She had such a sick sense of humor.

"We're not in the woods," he remarked dryly.

"But we're alone," she pointed out.

"I've known you for a long time, how many times have I ever accosted you?"

"There's a first time for everything."

Now she was just trying to throw him. And it was working. He shook his head as if to clear it, and stopped walking. He turned to her, and saw the moonlight in her hair, on her face, and suddenly it was like he forgot how to breathe.

"Luke, are you okay?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine."

They had quickly reached the small park at the edge of town, and he gestured toward a carved bench. She sat, and he followed suit.

Lorelai looked around at the stars, then the trees, then cocked her head with a grin. "Oh, look, it's almost woods," she giggled.

"Lorelai..."

"Oh, were you going to be serious?"

"For once," he admitted, but the usual annoyance wasn't in his voice.

"Luke, what do you want to talk about? You know you can tell me... whatever."

He ran a hand over his hair and took a deep breath. He hadn't been this nervous since high school. Maybe not even then.

"I... well, I came to some realizations recently. Maybe that's not even the word for them, because I already knew..."

"You knew...?" Lorelai prompted, looking worried.

He realized he must seem crazy, even for her.

"I just realized there were some things missing in my life."

She nodded, a tiny frown creasing her brow.

"And one of them is you."

There. He'd said it out loud, and now came the portion of the evening where she ripped out his still beating heart, danced on it, and threw it in the nearby fountain.

She didn't respond right away, and all he wanted to do was crawl into the nearest hole. What had he been thinking?

"Me?" she said carefully, trying to comprehend the magnitude of his statement. "I... um, okay," she managed lamely.

Luke contemplated his shoelaces. Anything but her face right now. Somehow, he finally found the nerve to speak again.

"My life has been a train wreck lately, and it's all because I wanted to hide from the truth, Lorelai. I told myself to give up on there ever being anything between us, and maybe that was the smart thing to do. But I couldn't give up till I gave it a shot."

He finally lifted his head back to look at her, and either she was catatonic or just thinking really hard.

"Lorelai?"

She moved at the sound of her name. "So you're saying you like me? Uh," she shook her head, "like that?"

Luke actually chuckled at that. He suddenly felt like he'd been plunged back into junior high. But she was dead serious.

"For a long time, Lorelai. A really long time."

"Oh."

They sat in silence for a moment as she tried to compose herself.

"How long?" she asked quietly.

He hesitated to tell her the truth, but he knew he needed to be honest.

"At least ten years. Maybe longer, I don't really know."

He heard her sharp intake of breath, and wanted to reach for her, but he wasn't sure she was ready for that.

"Oh God, Luke, why didn't you tell me?"

Where was he even supposed to start?

"I just... There were several times I tried. I didn't think it would make any difference."

Lorelai stood, and started pacing back and forth.

Well, she's still here, Luke thought. What do I do with her?

Finally, he stood up as well, and gently caught her wrist.

"Lorelai, don't."

"Don't what?"

"I know the wheels are turning in your head, and you're getting ready to take off, but please don't."

She'd never heard Luke plead before. But it didn't matter. Her mind was whirring, and she was almost convinced she was in shock. There were so many things going on inside her at this very second that she was afraid she might explode.

"Ten years, Luke. Ten," she said in disbelief. "And there was Rachel part two, and Nicole..."

He sighed heavily. "What was I supposed to do?"

"You should've waited. Till I was ready," she blurted out, not quite angry, but definitely upset.

Luke dropped her wrist abruptly, and it suddenly felt numbingly cold where his hand had been.

"I should've what?!" He absolutely could not believe what she had just said. "I tried to go on and have a normal life, because I thought I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell with you. I think this whole town knows how well that's worked out. All I have to show for it is a divorce from a marriage that never should've happened."

"Then why did it happen?" she shot back.

"Well, for one thing, I was drunk on a cruise ship, and I don't remember much about the ceremony. For another, I thought if I just did something drastic, made a life changing move, I could get you out of my system. That didn't seem to take either."

This was not going how he'd planned. He'd never expected her to fall into his arms, but he also hadn't expected to argue with her.

"But you got married, Luke!" she almost yelled.

"Yeah, I got married, Lorelai. And before that, you got engaged to Max. Then you broke it off after I got myself all worked up about losing you forever. Then there was yet another rerun of the Christopher show, followed by that Alex guy who came and went faster than anyone could keep up, and now... what was his name? Jason? Who you never even bothered to tell me about.

How long was I supposed to wait? Till I was fifty? Till I was dead?" He threw his hands up. "You had to know that I loved you, that I loved Rory like she was my own. That's why I fed you, and fixed things for you, and worried about the two of you. Who else do I do all that for?"

"No one," she whispered, and there were tears in her eyes.

"You were the one who couldn't see, maybe the only one who couldn't. And every time I got my nerve up, there was another guy."

He'd made his case, and not even knowing the outcome, he sounded defeated.

Lorelai was openly crying now, as everything came crashing down around her. She'd been hurting him all this time, and she'd never even seen it.

"I'm - I'm so sorry, Luke. That was really stupid of me to say."

He'd gone completely silent.

She walked up to him and gently took his arm. "Luke, please say something," she begged.

"What's left to say?" he asked quietly.

"Luke, please don't do this. It's been such a lovely day..."

Before she could finish her sentence, he swung her into his arms, and kissed her with everything he'd held inside for so long. She didn't hesitate to reciprocate, even though the intensity of what they were both feeling was scaring her to death.

When he finally let her go, her breath came in short gasps, and she searched desperately for something to say.

"That's what I was afraid of, Luke," she finally said.

He only looked at her questioningly.

"That this was it. That you were the only guy I was ever going to feel anything for, and royally screw up our friendship, and now I've gone and done it. No one has ever kissed me like that, and I've never felt that way when anyone else kissed me."

"What's so wrong with that, Lorelai? What is so terrifying about loving someone?"

"I don't know," she replied pathetically. She plopped back down on the bench, and buried her face in her hands. "I am such a flake," she said and started to cry again.

Luke sighed and sat down beside her. Against his better judgement, he put his arm around her.

She looked up at him, surprised, her blue eyes shining with tears.

"You're not a flake," he said seriously.

"Are too." She sniffed.

"Are not," he replied. "And don't argue with me. Burger man knows best," he joked, giving her a smile.

"You're not mad at me?" she asked cautiously.

"No," he sighed. "I'm really not. It took two of us to get this far, Lorelai. If anyone's to blame, it's me for not speaking up sooner. I know I threw you for a loop tonight, and I'm sorry. If you want to forget about it, we can." He knew he couldn't, but he cared about her enough to try, if that's what she wanted.

"I don't," she said sincerely. "I mean, how could I? I want this to be something. I just don't want to rush it."

"Neither do I. I've waited this long, and it's been worth every second, Lorelai. You've been worth it. You have to believe that," he said, looking very much like he wanted to kiss her again.

He reached up to wipe away her tears, and she leaned into his palm. He was so warm, and reassuring, and just... right. She'd thought about what his hands would feel like on her skin plenty of times, but reality was infinitely better.

She nodded belatedly in answer to his last statement. "I want to believe a lot of things right now," she said, finally smiling again. "Which probably means you should take me home."

He looked a bit disappointed, but he didn't argue. He figured it was just as well. Lorelai was probably tired and needed some time to think.

She surprised him by reaching her hand up to cup the back of his head, and pull his lips to hers. The kiss was more gentle this time, slower, exploratory.

When she pulled back, all she could do was smile shyly and notice the incredible love in his blue eyes. Her world had just been turned completely upside down, but it was better than any tumble she could've imagined.

"Why didn't we do this sooner?" she asked playfully.

"Doesn't matter. We're here now," he said, standing up and grabbing her hand.

Lorelai stood and took his arm, leaning her head on his shoulder. This wouldn't be so hard. She could get used to being with Luke. She was, surprisingly, almost already there.

He'd been there all along.

Fin