Hiiiii, guys! beams and waves Angelsight is just NOT wanting to come out right now, so I decided to take a break and turn out a few one-shots. This one right here came to me while I was backstage waiting to go on for Once Upon a Mattress. Hence, the Mattress reference-age. ;;; And I was going to make this a Blinktrack fic, but SOMEONE convinced me otherwise. glares in Lute's general direction Nah, I kid. You rawk, Lutzki. Anywho! On with the fic!

Disclaimer: Oh, for God's sake, I STILL don't own Newsies.

Warnings: Mentions of sex

I Don't Know What He Sees In Me

Have you ever looked at someone that you've seen a hundred thousand times before, but, for whatever reason, you suddenly see them completely differently? Like a light bulb's been switched on or something?

That's exactly what happened when I saw Snitch last year.

I'd always known who Snitch Baxter was. I mean, how could you not? Despite the fact that he dressed, talked, and acted however he wanted, he had always been one of the most popular guys in school. I suppose it was inevitable. Nobody could dislike Snitch; he was just too damn nice. If Snitch saw you in a bad mood, he'd do everything in his power to cheer you up, regardless of whether or not he knew you. He's just that compassionate and empathetic. It's almost like it physically hurts him to see other people upset.

So, yeah, I'd always known that he was a nice guy, but I never really saw him until opening night of the school play.

We were doing Once Upon a Mattress, and I was playing the Minstrel. So, I had the first song. During the blackout, I happened to look into the orchestra pit, and there was Snitch, tapping away at his snare drum and looking like he didn't have a care in the world. He didn't look up, but then again, he really didn't have to; the damage was already done. All I could do was stare at him, gaping like an idiot. I don't know what made him so remarkable that night. He wore the same kind of clothes that he wore every day - a simple, black button-down shirt and jeans. His dark hair was just as messy as it always was. He was flashing his usual goofy grin at Dutchy Kerr, who was playing the timpani next to him. But something just... hit me, I guess. Maybe it was how he just seemed to shine in the light from the lamp on his music stand.

Well, whatever it was, I fell for Snitch and couldn't get back up. Not that I wanted to.

I'd been so engrossed with Snitch that I forgot to sing when the lights came up. After a few seconds of the piano vamping, Snitch looked up at the stage, probably curious as to why the hell I wasn't singing.

And, God, those blue eyes of his... a guy could get lost in those eyes. Everything he thinks, everything he feels, everything about him shows up in his eyes, plain as day. But there are so many layers to them that it's hard to decide exactly what he's feeling right then. So, I guess you can say that you can read Snitch like a book... except it's a book in a language that you don't understand. If that makes any sense at all.

Anyway. I finally managed to pull myself together and salvage the number, but I spent the rest of the show glancing discreetly into the orchestra pit. And, much to my delight, I'd often see Snitch watching me out of the corner of my eye. Every now and then, our eyes would meet, and he'd immediately stare back down at his drum, blushing. Cutest thing ever.

To make a long story short, we got to talking after the show, I got his number, and we've been dating ever since. More than a year.

Most of my friends are shocked that I've managed to stay with one person for so long. They can't believe that I haven't gotten bored yet. The thing is, I don't think I can get bored with Snitch. There are just so many amazing things about him. Like his naiveté. He's just like a little kid, really, which is getting rarer and rarer in this world. He sucks his thumb, he's terrified of lightning, and he's got this whole general air of innocence that just surrounds him. I love that about him. Like, in the beginning of our relationship, he was so confused. He didn't know how to act around his family or his friends any more, since they hadn't known he was gay. Hell, he hadn't known he was gay. Since I'd already been through the process, I literally and figuratively held his hand throughout the whole thing, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I loved the fact that I could do something to help him for once.

Honestly, I'm amazed that I'm still with Snitch. I never thought that he'd stay with me as long as he has. He's just this incredibly kind, beautiful, amazing, wonderful guy, and I'm... I'm nothing special. I'm the "moody little drama queer." I've been a nobody outside of the theater department in this school ever since day one, and I've always expected to stay that way.

I mean, Snitch could have anyone he wants.

I don't know what he sees in me.

---

I thought my life was perfect. I was smart and popular, girls lined up to ask for my number, and I still got to be myself. I didn't have to give up anything that I believed in or wanted to do like I know some people have to.

But then I met Skittery, and I realized that my life hadn't even been half of what it could have been.

It was opening night of last year's school play, Once Upon a Mattress, when we met. I played drums in the band, and he had one of the leads, as always. I'd always known who Skittery Sloane was, just through playing for all the shows and seeing him perform. I admired him and thought that he was an amazing performer, but I didn't really think anything special of him.

The piano started to play, just like always, but he didn't start to sing. So, I looked up to see what was going on.

And, for the first time in my life, I really saw him.

Being the Minstrel, he was dressed in old-fashioned, medieval clothes: a baggy, low-cut light blue shirt that billowed at the sleeves but clung tightly to his wrists, tight black pants, and intimidating black boots. The lights hit him perfectly. He looked like some sort of theater god, like he was born to be up there.

And he was staring right at me.

For a minute, I thought that Skittery was looking at someone behind me until I realized that there was no one behind me. No, he was definitely looking at me. What I didn't know was why this incredibly talented theater guru missed a cue to stare at me.

Then, he glanced back at the audience and started up the song.

For a minute or two, I didn't think anything of it. Then, I realized that I was watching him a lot more than I probably should have been. And that he was watching me, too. But I don't think I really realized until intermission that I had... well, a crush on Skittery. It kinda scared me when I did realize it, though. I got a little worried about how people would think of me. But, then, I figured that I'd always acted however I wanted before, and my friends had still liked me. So, if they decided that because I was gay, they didn't want to associate with me any more, then I guess that they were never really my friends to begin with.

Yeah, big talk. I was still terrified when Skitts and I started dating.

But he helped me through it. God, did he ever. He somehow managed to get my dad, my mom, and my stepdad all in the same room, which is a feat in itself. Then, right as I started to choke on my words, he came forward with a tiny smile and said, "Mr. Baxter, Mr. and Mrs. Benson, I'm Jared Sloane. I'm a... friend of Damien's." Then he took my hand and said very quietly, "Damien's got something that he wants to tell you."

Luckily, everyone loved him. My stepdad had the hardest time accepting that I was gay, but eventually, Skitts won him over.

And I was right. None of my friends treated me any differently. A lot of the girls were a bit disappointed, and they let me know it, but I wasn't ostracized or anything.

I don't particularly know when I first started to fall in love with Skittery. I guess it doesn't really matter. I do know that I couldn't possibly imagine my life without him. He's the serious side to my goofiness. He's so incredibly sweet and sincere and talented. It's true that he can be a little quiet, but I'll talk someone to death if they let me, so we even out. And he does need to smile more often, but the smiles he does give me are worth waiting for. He's gorgeous when he smiles. He's gorgeous when he doesn't smile. Hell, Skittery's just gorgeous.

I can't believe we've been together for more than a year. We spent our anniversary just sitting outside under the stars and talking. I know it sounds cheesy, but it was an amazing feeling. Just sitting around with the boy that I loved, reminiscing about all our "firsts." Our first kiss, for instance. We were at a movie, and I dropped my cell phone. We both leaned down to get it, we both looked up at the same time, and our lips accidentally met. I turned about as red as I could get and started to climb back into my seat, but Skittery just put his hand on the back of my neck and tugged me back in for another kiss. I know I must have been a horrible kisser, and I told him so, but he just laughed and kissed me again. I guess it didn't matter to him.

There were so many other "firsts" that we talked about that night, but most important was the "first" that we made: the first time we had sex. Yes, we waited a whole year to do it. Sex is something that we're both really serious about. I'd never done it, not even with a girl, and he'd only done it a few times. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world until he kissed me on the forehead and told me how much he loved me. I still felt terrified until he whispered things into my ear, beautiful things.

I felt like it should've hurt, but it didn't. Then again, even if it would have been the most horrible pain I've ever felt, I wouldn't have stopped him for the world. Having Skittery inside of me was the only time I'd ever felt completely whole, totally complete. It's like he replaced a part of me that I hadn't even known was missing.

I wonder why he puts up with me, you know. He's one of the most sincere, amazing, intelligent people I've ever met. I seem so shallow when I compare myself to him. Skittery really wants to make a difference in the world, and I know that he could do it. Even if I really cared about the world enough to want to change it, I'd never be able to. Skittery's going to be even more amazing than he already is someday. Hopefully, I'll still be with him to see it.

But then again, Skittery could have anyone he wanted.

I don't know what he sees in me.

End

I don't know where that came from. ;;; I have no idea if I liked that or not. I think I did. Let's say I did! XDDD Anywho. Reviews/feedback would be much appreciated, kids. Love!