Part 4

Elizabeth's return to Longbourn did nothing to soothe her black mood. Jane's quiet heartbreak and her mother's constant (and very boisterous) lamentations about Mr. Bingley's departure from Hertfordshire only reminded her of Mr. Darcy's cruelty. Elizabeth had meant to keep the events that had occurred in Kent a secret, but she could not bear to keep anything from Jane. Two nights after her homecoming Elizabeth reluctantly related to Jane what had befallen between her and Mr. Darcy.

"Mr. Darcy proposed?" cried Jane in shock. This unexpected news momentarily allowed her to forget her pain over Mr. Bingley. "He always seemed so cold and heartless! And yet he loved you all this time! Poor Mr. Darcy!"

Elizabeth grimaced in annoyance and disgust. "I am less eager to declare him so, Jane. He is not worth anyone's pity. If he should suffer he has no one but himself to blame."

"Lizzy, that is unkind," Jane chided her gently. "I am sure this has been an agonizing experience for him."

"Nevertheless, I cannot feel sorry for him. He expressed other feelings which would soon drive away any sympathy that he could elicit from me," returned Elizabeth, quite bitterly. "He made no effort to defend himself on the subject of Mr. Wickham." Nor in regards to you and Mr. Bingley, she added to herself.

"Oh, Lizzy, you still believe him guilty of cruelty to Mr. Wickham?" said Jane doubtfully.

"Please, do not try to dissuade me on that subject, Jane," said Elizabeth exasperatedly. "My mind has been perfectly made up about that."

"But to confess such strong feelings for you, Lizzy," Jane mused. "He must be a decent sort of man to have loved you so."

Elizabeth opened her mouth to make some sort of remark doubting Mr. Darcy's sincerity. Yet she knew that there was no question that Mr. Darcy's feelings were as "ardent" as he had claimed them to be. Suddenly she recalled the nightmare she had that night and shuddered.

"I have no doubt he was sincere, that is for certain," she admitted grudgingly. Suddenly a thought crossed Elizabeth's mind, and she quickly glanced up at Jane. "You do not blame me for not accepting him?"

"Blame you? Of course not, dearest," soothed Jane. "Why do you worry about this affair, Lizzy? He has applied for your favor and you have rejected him. As far as either of you are concerned, the matter is closed."

"Yes, I know…it's just that…" Elizabeth, for the first time in ages, fumbled for the right words. "Somehow…I believe I have…somehow wounded him."

"His pride, perhaps, but I thought you were of the opinion that he had an excess of pride."

Elizabeth nodded. "Indeed, a wound to his pride might do him some good. Yet…it's not that, Jane. I…well, we quarreled a little, and I do believe I hurt his feelings, and…oh, Jane, I feel guilty, and I do not know why!"

"Dear Lizzy," said Jane comfortingly, patting Elizabeth's arm. "I understand your torment, but perhaps you will never see Mr. Darcy again. Perhaps it is better to forget about the affair altogether."

"Perhaps," said Elizabeth with a sigh. I should not feel any guilt, she told herself. Think of all the indecorous things he has said about you! Think of his incivility! Why should I feel guilt for wounding his pride?

"Thank you, Jane," Elizabeth said at last, embracing her sister. "Oh, how I wanted you then! I was quite desolate without any Jane to comfort me."

Jane smiled, if but a trifle sadly. Thoughts of Mr. Bingley were coming back to her mind, her heartbreak returning once again. Elizabeth noticed her sister's change of expression and silently scolded herself for her insensitivity.

"Oh, Jane! I have selfishly forgotten about your troubles! Can you forgive me?" cried Elizabeth, throwing her arms about her sister once again.

"Do not worry about me, Lizzy," said Jane in an attempt to reassure her. "Truly, I will be well. It's just…I believe I still prefer Mr. Bingley to any other gentleman I had ever met…and…" Jane pulled away to face Elizabeth with a sigh. "Never mind that. I am determined to think of him no more."

"Oh, Jane!" said Elizabeth again. "I beg you do not forget about Mr. Bingley. I am certain he will come back for you."

"Please, Lizzy…" said Jane, turning away. Elizabeth noted the despondent tone of Jane's voice. "It is late. I am going to bed." Without another word, Elizabeth watched Jane quietly depart from her room, her heartbreak evident on her countenance.

Elizabeth flopped against her pillows with a dejected sigh. She could not bear to see Jane in such a melancholy state. Oh, if only Mr. Bingley would just return to Hertfordshire! She was determined to see Jane smile once again, and if that required her dragging Mr. Bingley from London to Netherfield herself, then so be it!

Her thoughts inevitably wandered to Mr. Darcy, and immediately her indignation and anger was piqued. To her, even his name seemed to evoke such negative thoughts and feelings. How could Mr. Darcy inflict such pain on her poor sister without even a trace of remorse? Perhaps if he had seen Jane's miserable state, Mr. Darcy might have reconsidered his decision to whisk Mr. Bingley away so quickly. Elizabeth dearly wanted to see Mr. Darcy's cruel and heartless character exposed to the world. All of Hertfordshire knows of his contemptible treatment of Mr. Wickham. I suppose that is enough, she mused. Enough to what? Mar his character? Elizabeth frowned at the thought. To say it in that manner made it seem as though Mr. Darcy was not the abominable man she believed him to be. Perhaps he is just misunderstood because of his reticent nature? Nonsense, Elizabeth thought vehemently. She let those doubtful thoughts pass, wondering why she should have any misgivings on her opinion of Mr. Darcy now.

A fortnight passed since Elizabeth's return from Kent. During that time, the Bennets attended another small assembly at Meryton, and, much to several of the younger Bennets' relief, Colonel Forster's regiment had not left Meryton. The colonel and his officers were present at the assembly, and during the course of the evening, Elizabeth found an opportunity to steal a few minutes with Mr. Wickham before her younger sisters could commandeer his company for the rest of the night. During their tête-à-tête she informed Mr. Wickham of Mr. Darcy's uncivil treatment of her whilst she was visting Kent, carefully leaving out particulars regarding Mr. Darcy's proposal and the Jane and Bingley affair. She did, however cautiously, allude to the role Mr. Darcy played in Mr. Bingley's abrupt departure from the neighborhood. Mr. Wickham understood the implications in her remark and assured her of his indiscretion.

Two days following the ball at Meryton, the Bennet family assumed their usual activities that afternoon. Mr. Bennet had retired to his library, preferring the quiet of his books to the twittering of his wife and daughters. Both Jane and Elizabeth were engaged in their needlework; however, neither was progressing far in their embroidery. Jane seemed much more preoccupied at present with her downcast thoughts, though she at least endeavored to put up the pretense of diligently working. This behavior did not go unnoticed by Elizabeth, who worried restlessly for her sister and, thus, did not concentrate on her stitches. Mary earnestly absorbed herself in working on a new piece on the pianoforte. Kitty and Lydia, being the youngest, could hardly sit still or remain quietly engaged in their activities. They arranged new bonnets, laughing and talking gaily about one officer or another.

Mrs. Bennet was quite unaware of Jane's misery, for she was much more preoccupied with her own troubles. She lamented quite boisterously about the unmarried state of her daughters. At present, her rant and rails were on the subject of Mr. and Mrs. Collins.

"So!" she ventured, addressing Elizabeth. "The Collinses live quite comfortably, do they? Hmph! And I suppose they look up this house as their own, I daresay!" Elizabeth remarked that neither Mr. nor Mrs. Collins could be so tactless as to discuss that subject in her presence. Mrs. Bennet scoffed at the idea. "No doubt they constantly talk alone about having this house when your father's dead!"

Elizabeth's only reply was a wry smile.

When she was greeted with no response, Mrs. Bennet changed her tack. "And Mr. Bingley! To whom we had such high hopes! Gone off forever without notice! Hmph! He is a very undeserving and rude young man, if you ask me."

Elizabeth stole a glance in alarm at Jane, who seemed quite startled at Mrs. Bennet's sudden mention of Mr. Bingley. Elizabeth patted her sister's hand in comfort and reassurance; in response Jane gave a rather half-hearted and pained smile, in which Elizabeth saw no mirth, only sadness.

Oblivious to her daughter's pain, Mrs. Bennet continued her tirade. "Hmph! He played a very cruel joke on us all, leaving Netherfield so suddenly, and I have no opinion of him. Oh, nothing works out the way it should!" she added fretfully.

Lydia finally stood up from her chair, unable to remain calmly at her task of arranging her bonnet. "Mama, Kitty and I want to—" she began, interrupting Mrs. Bennet's ranting.

"Mama!" cried Kitty, soon cutting off her sister's request. She stood by the window and was peering very intently through it. "Mama, I think Mr. Bingley is here!"

"Oh!" cried Mrs. Bennet, the news quickly sending her into a tizzy. "Is it really him?" She rushed to the window; abruptly, Mary's tinkling on the pianoforte ceased. "Oh, it must be! Oh, Jane, he has come for you at last!"

Jane very nearly jumped in her chair at the news; she abruptly dropped her embroidery beside her, her face paling considerably. Elizabeth smiled reassuringly and squeezed her sister's hand, though she herself was unable to retain her own excitement.

"Oh! You must run and put on your best gown!" Mrs. Bennet exclaimed, once again startling her oldest daughter. Jane nearly fell out of her chair as she endeavored to rush upstairs. "No, no! Stay where you are! Oh, sit up straight, Jane!" Her mother smoothed Jane's gown and set her shoulders back. Elizabeth pitied her poor sister, who stood as rigid as a plank as she suffered their mother's ministrations.

Mrs. Bennet was just rearranging a wayward curl by Jane's face when the sound of the door brought her back to the events at hand. She rushed to her own chair and smoothed her own gown, waiting for their much-anticipated guest.

The door to the parlor was opened, and Hill appeared at the threshold. "Mr. Bingley, ma'am," she said rather unnecessarily, and the said gentleman strode into the room. As the ladies rose, the door to the parlor closed as Hill left, and Mr. Bingley bowed graciously. Mrs. Bennet and her daughters curtseyed in kind, and Elizabeth could not help but notice Jane's shakiness as she dipped down into her own curtsey. Mr. Bingley straightened, his own nervousness betrayed by his tentative smile as he sat down.

"What an unexpected pleasure this is, Mr. Bingley!" twittered Mrs. Bennet. "It has been far too long since you were here, and it was very gracious of you to call."

"I do apologize, Mrs. Bennet, for not having called sooner," said Mr. Bingley.

"Oh, never mind that, sir! I am delighted!" Mrs. Bennet laughed gaily. "People did say you meant to quit Netherfield entirely! I am happy that that is not true."

"Well, I do intend to stay in Hertfordshire at least for several weeks," returned Mr. Bingley. Elizabeth keenly watched as he stole a quick glance at Jane, who demurely cast her gaze away.

"Well, that is good news!" said Mrs. Bennet. "Ring the bell for tea, Lydia. A great many changes have occurred during your absence—"

"Pardon me, madam, but it is a fine day today, and I would hate to lose the chance to enjoy it. Perhaps some of us may walk to Meryton?" Mr. Bingley quickly, yet politely, interjected, much to Elizabeth's relief.

Mrs. Bennet responded with approval, adding that some of her daughters intended to head toward town that afternoon. She then suggested, while she must forego the pleasure of walking, that her daughters accompany him. All of the Bennet sisters agreed to a little exercise except Mary, who begged to stay behind so as to engage herself in practicing the pianoforte. Mr. Bingley seemed to think this idea agreeable, and so he and four of the Bennet girls soon headed toward Meryton.

Elizabeth's heart soared for Jane when Mr. Bingley solicited her company for their walk. The two walked side by side ahead of the rest of the party, engaged in some conversation. Elizabeth left her two younger sisters behind and followed the couple a little more closely, so as to catch a few of their words.

"...must beg my forgiveness for leaving so abruptly, Miss Bennet," Mr. Bingley was saying. "I have no excuse to offer you, but be assured that I was not wholly willing to leave you...or this society so quickly," he added, a bit sheepishly.

"Indeed, sir, I bear you no ill will for your departure," said Jane shyly.

"I also have learned," went on Mr. Bingley, "from my sisters that you were in London this past winter. I do beg your forgiveness once again for never calling upon you. I do believe my sisters had forgotten to inform me, so I was ignorant of your presence the entire time. You must forgive me, Miss Bennet."

"Sir, truly, there is nothing to forgive."

Mr. Bingley smiled kindly at Jane, who managed a small smile back before casting her gaze downward modestly. Elizabeth breathed a sigh of immense relief and allowed the couple to continue walking a little farther. There was now no doubt of Mr. Bingley's unstinting devotion to Jane. It was only a matter of time now, and the entire affair would be settled.