Me: Araabian NIIIIIIights, like Arabian DAAAAAys, more OFTen than NOT, are HOTter than HOT, in a LOT of good WAAAAAYS!

Kaiba: Is she drunk again?

Ryou: No, I think she's just really hyper. . . .

Me: SING WITH ME!

Yugi: O.o;; What are you ON?

Jou: --;; LOTS of different things, I'm sure.

Me: Araaaabian NIIIIIIIIights, 'neath Araaaabian MOOOOOOoons! A FOOL off his GUARD, could FALL and fall HARD, out THERE on the DUUUUUUNES!

Bakura: whacks authoress over the head

Marik: WILL SOMEONE TURN OFF THAT RADAMNED DISNEY MOVIE?!

Mokuba: But I LIKE Aladdin. . . .

Honda: However, YOU are ten. SHE is fifteen.

Yami: So?! I'M over five thousand and -I- like Disney movies! Ya got a PROBLEM with that, buddy?!

Honda: ;; Heh heh, no problem here. . . .

Otogi: Does Egypt even qualify as Arabian?

Isis: Close enough.

Rishid: Is there even a fic here anywhere?

Pegasus: Eventually there will be, I assume.

Anzu: Once the idiot over there shuts up.

Me: Just who are you callin' idiot, you little--!

Mai: Start the disclaimer!

Disclaimer: I can see it now! Seto and Joey make out fiercely, Yugi, Yami, Bakura, and Ryou have a foursome, Marik screws Malik at random intervals, and Tèa burns in hell! If you like this much, apply now for a thieving job involving some select legal documents! Until I get my hands on those, the dreams of rabid yaoi fangirls everywhere remain unfulfilled. :(

Warnings: Kind of AU, YAOI, maybe citrus in future

Notes: Ra I'm bored, and I can't think of where to go with my other stories. . . . so what do I do? Start a new one. --;; Other than that there is no point to this fic. I was simply desperate to post something. Shrugs What do -I- know, you might like it.

Please read and review.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Yugi groaned, tapping the eraser end of his pencil impatiently.

Could two minutes -go- any slower?!

It had been yet another exciting school day at Domino High, as you can tell.

Yami was snoring away in the desk next to him.

5. . . . 4. . . . 3. . . . 2. . . . 1. . . .

BRRRRRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGG!

"Whoa!" the Pharaoh's head jerked upwards, startled by the bell. Everyone immediately stampeded out the door, thanking whoever was up there that it was the weekend.

Yugi jumped up and cheered among them, then turned to his counterpart and pulled him to his feet.

"C'mon, Yami! We get to leave!"

"About time!" the dark declared grumpily. He paused a moment. "You're going over to Ryou's house today, right?" he asked Yugi, who nodded enthusiastically.

"Yep! We have to work on a World History project together! I'm meeting him and the rest of the gang at the park, so let's get -out- of this musty building!"

Yami readily agreed, and the two, after stopping at their lockers to pick up books, exited the school and traveled to the designated meeting place.

It was a very nice spring day outside; not too hot, and not too cold, with a slight breeze. Yami sighed contentedly as he sat down on a nearby park bench to wait, since they had gotten there early.

They didn't need to wait long, however, for after only a few minutes, Yugi ran off to greet Tèa, Joey, and Tristan. Yami cracked open an eye, hoping Ryou would take his time.

Because, after all, wherever there was Ryou, there was Bakura.

Yami frowned at the thought of the insane tomb raider, intent on avoiding a confrontation with him. The Pharaoh, as of late, had been acting up weirdly. Or at least, his body had. Yami was quite sure he would -never- voluntarily describe the other dark side as 'sexy', but regardless, more than once he had woken up in need of a cold shower from having a few. . . . -select- dreams about Bakura.

He growled lowly. Damned hormones. Yami thought of banishing all undesired teenage side-effects to the Shadow Realm, then figured there were -way- too many. He smiled bitterly.

"What's so funny, Pharaoh?" spat a voice in front of him.

Speak of the demon. . . .

"Just be glad -we- don't have a project to do together," Yami snapped at the white-haired yami, stretching and sitting up.

"That's what you were grinning at? I highly doubt it," scoffed Bakura, narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms. "And I don't like being ignored."

"Well, unfortunately for you, I couldn't care less," Yami waved the object of his hatred/desire's annoyance away and started to walk toward his hikari.

He wasn't the least bit surprised when Bakura, quick as a flash, appeared, sneering, two inches in front of his face.

"Unfortunately for -you-, Pharaoh, -I- won't be swept away like yesterday's opponent."

Yami made a show of rolling his eyes, while in reality studying some of the (now visible, due to the close range at which he was observing them) intricate details of Bakura's facial and physical structure.

Perfect.

He accidentally licked his lips. The fiend's eyes widened for a fraction of a second, then narrowed.

"You do know -we- have World History on -Monday-, am I not correct?" scowled Bakura. Yami shrugged indifferently, at which Bakura's fists clenched. "My project will kick your project's ass," he hissed. Pharaoh almost laughed out loud.

"Resorting to schoolwork to get the better of me, hm?" he asked coolly. "I wasn't aware that history projects -have- asses. Have you been looking?"

Bakura's teeth ground together; he never could keep his anger in check for long. Yami smirked. If there was one thing that pushed Bakura's buttons, it was when you acted like you didn't care less whether he was there or not.

In his opinion, if he decided to grace you with his presence, you had better be flat out worshipping the ground upon which he stood.

Conceited egotistic, Yami thought, somewhat proudly.

"Listen up, your -highness-. We aren't in Egypt anymore, and -this- world most -definitely- does -not- revolve around -you-!" Bakura growled.

Yami raised his eyebrows in mock-surprise. "So it -did- back then? I feel so special!"

Bakura let out a cry of frustration.

"Up yours, Pharaoh!" the thief yelled angrily, throwing a small ball of crackling Shadow Magic fire at the other, which he dodged easily.

"Ra, you have bad aim," stated Yami seriously. "How long has it been since you've thrown something that wasn't breathing?" He then had to block a much larger, hotter sphere with Shadow Magic of his own.

"I could cream you to a bloody pulp in any kind of sport that doesn't involve -cards-!" retorted Bakura heatedly. Yami's face lit up with a malicious grin.

"Prove it!" He conjured up an electric orb and hurled it at the tomb robber, who jumped out of the way with lightning fast, catlike reflexes. The ball hit the ground and exploded mere inches from Yugi, who squeaked and looked around wildly.

"Child's play, you hack!" laughed Bakura, quickly retaliating, but also missing his target.

"Yami!" cried Ryou to Bakura. "Stop this right now! Someone could get hurt!"

"And you stop, too!" Yugi reprimanded his own dark half.

"Sorry Aibou, but the King of Games has to keep up his title!" called Yami.

"Come over here and -make- me stop, why don't you?!" Bakura cackled, sprinting away from his Hikari, who yelled after him.

"Heads up!" shouted the ex-Pharaoh as he slung more fire at his rival and missed once again, caused the trunk of a nearby tree to splinter at the impact.

"Yo, that really is dangerous!" hollered Joey, him and the others quickly coming to the lights' aid in trying to round up the two out-of-control spirits.

Bakura leapt up and climbed a tree to launch an aerial attack on Yami, who was directly beneath. Both of their Millennium Items were glowing with the sudden overuse of magic.

"Bombs away Pha--!" CRACK! "What the--?!"

The tree branch under Bakura snapped without warning, and he went tumbling down the maple.

"Look out belo--!" CRASH!

He landed with a thud on top of Yami, causing the yelping Pharaoh's knees to suddenly give way so that they were both thrown onto the ground with an "Oof!".

"Bakura, are you all right?!" Ryou asked hysterically, running up to them. The dark moaned and clutched his head, sitting up.

"Yeah," he said, wincing. "I think I'll have a pretty big bump here tomorrow, though."

"Refogh rwe," Yami mumbled through a mouthful of dirt.

"What?" asked Yugi. His dark spat out the grime.

"I said, get off me!" he exclaimed, shoving Bakura to the side.

"Hey!"

"C'mon guys," said Tèa warningly. "Let's not start another fight." Yami looked at her innocently.

"You mean you've never played dodgeball before?"

"Dodgeball, my foot!" Bakura glowered, picking himself up from the mud. "I won!"

"What?!" Yami sputtered. "You did not!"

Bakura flashed his canines. "Did so."

"Says you!" Yami immediately tackled Bakura right back to the ground in a scuffle.

"Stop, we said!" Tristan yelled. The two fighting paid no attention to him.

"I'm gonna take that bad hairdo and rip it off your head!" snarled Bakura, punching Yami.

"Well, -I'm- gonna tear that atrocious nose off and throw it in the lake!" spat Yami, kicking Bakura. "Atrocious means -ugly-, by the way."

"I know what it means!" shouted Bakura enragedly. "And there's nothing wrong with my nose!"

"Please, you two! You look so incredibly immature that I wish I had a camera with me," said a cold voice above them. They looked up from wringing each other's necks for a moment to see Seto Kaiba standing over them.

"What's it to you?" growled Bakura, using Yami's moment of inattention to summon up a static sphere behind his back, planning to smash it into the other boy's cranium the first chance he got.

Yami, upon seeing in his periphravision the Millennium Ring starting to glow, immediately knew what the thief was up to and quickly copied the action.

"Go to hell, Kaiba," he hissed, before turning to Bakura and bringing his flames swinging down at the exact same moment that the other did the same.

Their hands knocked each other's out of the way, and they both hit the opposite's Millennium Item with their Shadow Magic.

"What the f--AAA!"

The Items suddenly both flashed with a blinding light, and everyone who saw it immediately felt a ripping sensation as their world was whitewashed.

Bakura screamed as he felt his soul being slashed in half. The pain erupted inside him and over heated his brain, just as it did everyone else's.

They all blacked out.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Bakura moaned, sitting up and clutching his head for the second time that day.

"Where in Ra's name am I?" he mused to himself, looking around, only to have his vision filled with a sea of golden sand; the others were nowhere in sight.

The yami wandered up one of the dunes in confusion, to be met with the sight of another grainy ocean. He scowled.

"Well isn't this just peachy. Stuck in the middle of nowhere, and not even knowing how the hell I got here!" He kicked the sand in frustration. "And I was just about to blow that damn Pharaoh to smithereens, too!"

He flicked off the glittering expanse, then turned on his heel and stalked in the opposite direction.

As soon as he reached the peak of the next hill, however, he froze in his tracks.

Below, a vast, ancient city spilled out before his eyes, the sounds of daily bustle and trade just barely wafting up to reach his trained ears.

"What the hell?" he breathed sharply, eyeing what he thought was a mirage with suspicion. He considered turning back and preserving the last of his sanity, but, when confronted with the desert, his curiosity got the better of him.

He decided to go down and see just what in Ra's name he had gotten himself into.

Or whether he had merely been knocked out, of course.

Bakura walked through the outskirts of the town in wonder, soon coming to the main market, and discovering, when he walked straight into a camel with PMS, that this was very real indeed.

The market was filled with all the sights and colors one could imagine. Vendors sold jewelry, crops, and slaves, livestock ran around freely, and pickpockets and unattended children scampered underfoot everywhere.

"This place is a mess!" exclaimed Bakura somewhat fondly, casually nicking a small loaf of bread to chew on. "Something seems awfully familiar about it, though. . . ."

He came upon what was evidently the main square, and stood in the middle of the surging crowd, looking around suspiciously, not quite being able to place the feeling in his gut.

"Wait a minute. . . ." He frowned, creasing his brow. "I know this place. . . ." Bakura tapped the shoulder of a woman walking by. The girl appeared to hold a place of very high rank, and was adorned with great amounts of gold covering her body, and a linen headdress.

She turned her cool blue eyes upon him unsurprisedly, and seemed to regard him with a hidden smirk.

"Um," the dark started uncertainly, "Could you please tell me. . . . are we in Egypt?"

The woman raised her brows in an obviously fake questioning motion. "Where else would we be, Ba--my boy?" Bakura missed when she barely caught herself in speech. He was too busy cursing to himself under his breath.

"K'so, I knew it! What in the blazes am I doing here?" he muttered angrily, afterwards looking back up to thank the woman.

"No need to thank me," she said in a low voice, almost as if she didn't want to be overheard. "Just remember what happened before, baka." She smiled, and then disappeared into the mob of people. Bakura looked at the spot where she had just been blankly.

"What in Ra's--?"

"Stop! Thief!"

All the yami saw was a flash of crimson and white as he was suddenly bowled over out of nowhere. He and the person he had crashed into both fell to the ground and scrambled to get back up simultaneously.

"Watch where you're--!" But Bakura didn't finish his sentence. His eyes had locked with another pair.

An extremely familiar, garnet pair.

One set of orbs narrowed, and the other widened greatly.

Just as Bakura was about to comment on their extremely similar looks, the thief's eyes darted to look behind him and he dashed off just as quickly as he had come.

The yami looked after him in shock. He had no doubt that he had just seen himself.

The UN-reincarnated version.

Somehow, he had gotten zapped back to Ancient Egypt!

An excited and evil grin broke out over his face, and he began to follow where the tomb robber had gone, when suddenly he felt a beefy hand on his shoulder.

"Halt!"

Bakura turned around in annoyance to tell whoever had the nerve to touch him to go jack off, when he felt his hands be bound with a length of strong rope.

"Hey!" the dark snarled. "What's the big idea, asshole?!"

"You are under arrest," growled the guard. "For the defiling of the great Akunumkanon's tomb and corpse."

"But I never even--!" Bakura started, but then paused. "Oh wait. I did."

"Shut up, mongrel," the guard snapped, backhanding him across the face. "You will accompany me back to the palace, where you will be flogged and beheaded."

"Just for one stinking--?!"

But without another word the guard dragged a yelping and thrashing Bakura through the streets and up to a giant alabaster building that Bakura had never, -ever- wanted to see again.

The palace of, Bakura paled, Pharaoh Yami.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

tbc?

This was kinda random and stuff, and I don't think I spelled Yami's father's name right, but oh well.

I have absolutely no idea when I'll get around to writing any more of this, but if you are interested in another chapter at all, (questions? comments?) please review.

Otherwise I guess this'll just be a really abnormal one-shot. O.o

Um. . . . yeah, that's it. Review!