A/N: First of all I would like to thank a friend of mine, Nefarious Angel, for his suggestion of the UBCS commercial in the last chapter. Secondly…
This is it everyone…the final chapter…
Somewhere over the Mid Atlantic…
Alex tightened her grip on the Control stick, to the point where it was making some rather unnerving cracking sounds. Chris, sitting in the copilot's seat, glanced over uneasily. At this point, breaking the control stick would not be a very good idea.
The cause of Alex's anger was sitting in the back with the other former tree bound and totally lost survivors, yelling at the top of her lungs and threatening everyone within listening distance. In retrospect, Leon felt that perhaps he should not have saved Ashley from becoming an El Gigante snack.
"My father is the President of the United States! I'll have your jobs! You'll be living in Federal Prison for the next two hundred years! And furthermore…"
Secretly, everyone was wondering how long it was going to be before Alex killed her in a very painful and messy way…
Meanwhile at Madison Square Garden in New York City…
All of the former contestant, plus their pets, are assembled on stage ready for the results of the vote. Everyone of them had been given the chance to take a shower and get a change of clothes, including our two prospective winners. All of the former contestants are now wearing the clothing from their respective games.
Jill has on her tube top mini skirt ensemble from RE3. Billy is back in his black jeans and wife blue wife beater. Marcus is back in the freaky opera dress. Carlos has his UBCS outfit from RE3. Rebecca, apparently, has opted for the alternate leather outfit from RE0. Nemmy is in his black leather trench coat, sans rocket launcher…thank goodness. Alexia decided to de-mutate and has donned her purple ball gown. And finally, Brad is back in his STARS uniform from RE3 and Alfred has opted for…shudders…his 'Alexia' outfit. Right now, I suspect the viewers at home are getting violently ill.
In the audience, WC is looking particularly proud of herself. No doubt this is due to the overwhelming success of the show and the fact that she never thought she'd ever get to the end of it…not with her sanity intact anyway. Sitting on her right was one of her best friends, hereafter referred to as AC. On the other side of AC was JC, AC's husband and another friend of WC. Sitting to the left of WC is yet another friend, Nefarious Angel, hereafter referred to as NA.
You know with all these initials floating around I suspect the viewers at home are going to get extremely confused, a condition that does not seem to be bothering WC in the slightest. She's evil, what more can I say?
Anyway…
While WC is gloating over her great success, Wesker finally arrives with the voting pot. There is a resounding cheer from the audience, several women go so far as to swoon at the site of him. Wesker smirks and sets the pot down on a table near the former contestants. His smirk widens as he lifts the lid of the pot and…
- Commercial Break -
Two very hyperactive and somewhat drugged up scientists come running into camera view. In their hands is an extremely large cardboard box.
"HELLO!"
They scream in unison, shattering several nearby windows and killing some poor old woman by exploding her pacemaker. The two hyperactive Umbrella scientists, identified by the large Umbrella logo on the pocket of their lab coats, do not appear to notice the carnage they have wrought. Instead they drop the large cardboard box they are carrying and smile brightly at the camera. I should take this opportunity to mention the box is roughly six and half feet tall and five feet wide.
"We at Umbrella Inc, know how excited everyone is about the new Survivor…so we've designed the perfect collectable for you fans at home!"
The two scientists then jump up and down in unabashed glee. Scientist number two is the first one to shake off the effects of unchecked perkiness and sleep deprivation to speak.
"So we've created a Wesker you can own!"
The two scientists rip open the box to reveal an exact replica of Albert Wesker, CVX version.
"Just call the number at the bottom of the screen and take your choice between CVX version, Remake version, or RE4 version! JUST ADD WATER!"
In unison…
"CALL TODAY!"
A number and brief message pop up on the bottom of the screen:
1-800-1-WESKER
Disclaimer: Umbrella Inc will not be held responsible if your Wesker tries to kill and/or maim you. We will also not be held responsible if your Wesker tries to take over the world. DO NOT under any circumstances allow your Wesker to come in contact with our Chris Version 1.5 model. If any Wesker model comes in contact with a Chris Version 1.5 we will not be held responsible for any ensuing property damage…Thank You…
- Back to the Show -
Back at Madison Square Garden, Wesker is just finishing up beating the hell out of the man responsible for cutting to commercial just as he was preparing to tell everyone present who won the million dollars. After some more tortured screams, Wesker saunters back into camera view, wiping a bit of blood from his hands. He grins evilly at the audience, again causing women to swoon, and clears his throat.
"Since I have better things I could be doing with my time I'm not reading every frigging vote in this jar, instead I'm simply going to impart to you imbeciles the news that Brad has won the money."
There is some shouts of joy from the audience, the former survivors, and loud sobbing from Alfred…which everyone ignores. Brad proceeds to jump up and down as two scantily clad women hold up an oversized check made out to Brad. Wesker continues to smirk with evil glee as a third scantily clad woman struts out holding the actual check for one million dollars…
Somewhere over New York City…
"Just you wait! My Daddy is not going…
"THAT'S IT!"
There is a loud cracking sound as Alex snaps the chopper control stick in half, dives into the back, and beats Ashley mercilessly about the head and shoulders. As the chopper spins out of control, Chris desperately tries to get it UNDER control while the remaining passengers are torn between screaming from fear and cheering Alex on…
Back at the Garden…
Just as scantly clad woman number three passes Wesker, he neatly plucks the check from her hand. Needless to say this causes the joyess celebration to end quick, fast, and in a hurry. Although I must say no one seems very surprised.
In the audience, WC has donned a construction hat and has crawled under her seat, AC, JC, and NA follow suit. While WC is hiding, Wesker breaks down into a fit of evil laughter, which lasts for several minutes. Just as everyone looks to be getting board, he wraps it up…Bob squeaks his approval.
"Ah well then, it was very nice watching…all…of…"
Wesker trails off as a high pitched whine echoes through the Garden. However he quickly recovers.
"As I was saying, it was…"
"DIE YOU EVIL BLONDE BIMBO!"
Even Wesker looks shocked by the echoing scream which appeared to be coming from outside. Suddenly the whine increases, which is followed by more muffled shouting from outside and above the Garden…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"DIE, BLONDIE, DIE!"
"WE'RE GOING DOWN!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Just as Wesker tries to once again make his intentions known, there is a loud crash directly above him…
"Holy shit!"
Wesker and the rest of the contestants dive out of the way as a large chopper crashes through the roof of the Garden. The audience scatters out the door like scared chickens as debris rains down on them, with the exception of WC, AC, JC, and NA…who are still hiding under their chairs.
The former contestants, still on stage and now in various states of injury, slowly get to their feet. Wesker, laying near the edge of the stage, slowly stands, coughing at all the dust in the air. He glances up as the nose of the chopper, which is hanging about five feet from the stage floor. Inside he spots Chris, twitching slightly and looking ready to hurl.
"Damn Redfield, can't…SHIT!"
Wesker hastily dodges as a body comes flying out of the side door of the chopper and hits Alfred in the head, knocking him unconscious. The body is none other than the now severely beaten Ashley. Seconds later, Alex's head appears at the chopper door. It takes all of three seconds for her to spot her big brother.
"You!"
"Now sis, calm down."
Wesker holds up his hand, trying to pacify his baby sister. In the process he displays the stolen check, which only seems to piss Alex, and the other former tree bound survivors, off even more. Alex drops the stage, just as Wesker takes a tentative step backwards. Seconds later, Claire and Leon jump out, holding what appears to be rather large pipes. Hunk, Nicholai, and Birkin jump out next, brandishing large wooden planks. Yoko, Ada, Alyssa, and Annette are just behind them holding what look to be whips, much like Rebecca's. The final person out is Chris, holding an abnormally large combat knife.
"Get him!"
The former tree bound survivors jump Wesker. Seconds later the other former contestants, with the exception of the unconscious Alfred, jump Wesker. While the former contestants whale the shit out of Wesker, Brad grabs his check and skips off with Sanzo, Cloud, and Fluffy in tow. WC, AC, JC, and NA are watching the show and eating popcorn…
Several Hours Later…
"Well, that was fun." Alex smiles brightly. "Come on Chris, let's go get a pizza."
Alex and Chris walk off, holding hands, in search of a good pizza place. Jill and Carlos emerge a few minutes later, looking a trifle banged up but none the worse for wear, they head off toward a nearby McDonalds. Alexia comes strutting out, dragging Alfred by the shirt collar, and heads toward Fifth Avenue. Annette comes stumbling out just behind her husband, looking slightly catatonic. Birkin just shrugs and drags her off toward the nearby Umbrella offices.
All in all, each of the former tree bound survivors step out of the garden and head off on there separate ways. With the exception of our dear injured Wesker…who's poor mangled body has been drug off stage by WC and hauled back to her apartment…
And that is the end of that. The end of another successful season of Survivor, despite the fact that our illustrious, yet incredibly evil host, appears to be in for some suffering. Brad has won the million dollars, the rest of the contestants seem happy to have beaten Wesker almost to death.
And just what is on the agenda for next season…well…
Survivor: Resident Evil VS. Devil May Cry…
- Fin -
A/N: I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed my story. I am honored that this story garnered so much interest from everyone involved. Thanks goes out to those of you who contributed immunity ideas and voted as well.
- W.C.