**Authors Note** You'll need to think back to the episode where Buzz and Warp get those implant things and are tested on by those Chlorm scientists. Anyway, at the end of the episode the three decided it would be interesting to test the differences between men and women. Can you see where I'm going with this? Also, this is my first fan fic ever *tear* so if this story stinks and I have no sense of humor, please be nice when you review. If you do like it *hope that's most of you* the faster you review the faster I put up the next chapter. Oh, and these characters are all property of Disney and Pixar, not me. Well, enough jibber-jabber on my part, on with the story.
"My Life is a Sitcom"
It was another action-packed day in the galactic alliance. Buzz Lightyear tapped his fingers unrhythmically on the dashboard of 42 and looked over at his copilot, Mira Nova. The Tangean propped her elbows lazy on the ship's dashboard, laid her head in her palms and yawned. Buzz turned his head to get a clear view of the two other rangers in the bridge. Booster was staring out the window into space, oblivious as to what was going on. XR's metallic eyes were fused shut, and his mouth opened to release a soft snore. Buzz looked back out into the endless mass of stars the were slowly moving past. "Okay, so it's a bit of a dull morning," Buzz thought to himself, "but something should happen any second now..."
As if on cue, a high-pitched beep sounded from 42's intercom, making the four rangers jump out of their seats. "Wha...Oh, red alert, I got the fire extinguisher!" XR snapped out of his slumber and pulled a large, red can out of nowhere. Pressing down on the nozzle, a huge fountain of white foam shot out into his face. He had held the fire extinguisher the wrong way.
"XR!" The rest of Team Lightyear said in unison.
"Sorry," XR hid the can sheepishly behind his back.
Buzz Lightyear pressed the button on the intercom, "What is it, Commander?" Buzz asked, as the image of his commanding officer appeared on the screen.
"Buzz, we've got another emergency down at sector twelve," Nebula replied.
"Any details you'd like to run by us..." Buzz hinted.
"Like whose kitten got stuck up a tree this time," XR added.
"XR, be quiet," Booster hissed.
"Sorry, rangers, I have no clue what the emergency is," Nebula replied, ignoring XR's remark.
"No problem, sir, we'll take care of it," Buzz said, trying not to notice that Mira was rolling her eyes.
"That's what I like to hear. Good luck, rangers, over and out," Commander Nebula's face disappeared from the screen.
"Great," Mira said, sarcastically, "now we get to fly hundreds of miles out of our way to rescue some cat."
"Come on, guys," Buzz said, "we don't even know what the mission is yet."
"Buzz, this is sector twelve we're talking about. When has it never been about rescuing kittens off of tree branches?"
"Actually," Booster cut in, "there was that one time when that old lady couldn't open that pickle jar."
"How is that any better than saving a dumb cat?" Mira asked.
Booster shrugged, "You asked for something different, not better."
"Listen team, we're rangers, and rangers never..."
"Buzz, please, I can't take another 'ranger' speech!" Mira interrupted.
"Well, if you'd quit complaining about the job in the first place..." Buzz began.
"Guys!" Booster yelled. The two rangers looked back at Booster, giving him their attention. "Do you HAVE to fight about this, it's bad enough that we got this mission in the first place."
"See, he agrees with me," Mira pointed to Booster.
"I didn't say that..." Booster said, starting to panic.
"No, he's agreeing with me," Buzz argued.
"Can't we just get this mission over with, without arguing!" Booster threw up his hands in protest.
"I'M okay with that," Mira said, glaring at Buzz.
"I've BEEN okay with that from the start," Buzz said, glaring back at Mira.
Buzz and Mira reached for the ship's controls and 42 raced off for sector twelve, it's pilots calm and cooperative.
**************
"You are the most conceited, egotistical, irrational..." Mira shouted at the top of her lungs.
"I'm irrational! You're nothing but an arrogant, stubborn..." Buzz shouted back.
"Stubborn! Look whose talking about stubbornness."
In the back of 42's bridge, Booster and XR sat with their hands over their ears, trying to muffle the heated argument up front.
"You think we should try and stop this?" Booster said to XR.
"What?!" XR yelled.
"I said, 'SHOULD WE TRY AND STOP THIS?!' " Booster strained to be heard over the noise.
"What for?" XR yelled back.
"XR, this isn't one of their normal fights, they've stopped using real words."
"Booster, they never use real words."
"Okay, you've got a point, but they still have to fly 42..."
"They're doing fine, they can multitask."
"XR, are you scared of getting between those two?" Booster grinned as XR's metallic eyes got wider.
"Don't be silly," he said nervously, "I just think they're much better off taking their anger out on each other and not me!"
At this point, both Buzz and Mira had forgotten why they were arguing in the first place, or what they were yelling, or that they were supposed to be flying 42. They just hurled undiscernible insults at each other with a growing intensity. It was Buzz who shouted the first recognizable word.
"PRINCESS!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. For a brief moment the entire bridge was silent.
"That was a mistake," XR said to himself.
"What did you call me?" Mira asked through clenched teeth.
"Don't say it," Booster whispered.
"Princess," Buzz said, mockingly.
Mira's eyes narrowed. "Here it comes," XR said, quietly. Booster covered his eyes with his hands.
With a barbaric yell, Mira leaped from her chair onto Buzz, throwing her fists wildly at him. Buzz managed to grab her wrists and hold them firmly. As Mira struggled to get her hands free, they both toppled out of the chair and onto the floor. Booster and XR watched in amazement at the two rangers rolling on the floor of the bridge.
"NOW should we break this up?" Booster asked XR.
As if in answer, a red laser shot up from the rolling mass of white and headed for the two other rangers. Booster and XR ducked just in time for the laser to zip over their heads and embed itself into the wall behind them. They both looked up at the charred hole in the wall and then back at their dueling comrades, who were completely ignorant to the fact that one of them had almost shot XR and Booster.
"I'm not breaking this up, you break it up," XR said to Booster.
"There's no way they're gonna listen to me, you break them up," Booster replied.
After a few more moments of intense battle, Mira managed to pin Buzz to floor face-down, with one arm twisted behind his back. Mira was sitting on his back, her hands pressing Buzz's arm down into his back.
"Take it back!" she yelled.
"What's the matter, princess, can't you..." Mira pushed on Buzz's arm as hard as she could, making yelp in pain.
"BUZZ AND MIRA!" Booster and XR yelled in unison.
"What?" Buzz and Mira yelled back, their heads snapping up to glare at the other two rangers.
"Ummm...who's flying 42?" XR said, pointing at the foreign moon their star cruiser was about to crash into.
Mira released Buzz and they both scrambled for the controls. They both grabbed a lever at the same time and began fighting for it. 42 swerved sharply in a thousand different directions. Booster nervously bit his nails and XR covered his eyes while chanting, "I'm not here right now. I'm not here right now." The lever Buzz and Mira were fighting over finally snapped, the broken end still held by both of them. For a minute, 42 stopped midair, the two pilots stared at each other and the broken lever with disbelief. Then, 42 dropped straight down towards the strange moon.
**To Be Continued. I know I didn't say anything about the Chlorm scientists yet, but don't worry, it's coming.**
"My Life is a Sitcom"
It was another action-packed day in the galactic alliance. Buzz Lightyear tapped his fingers unrhythmically on the dashboard of 42 and looked over at his copilot, Mira Nova. The Tangean propped her elbows lazy on the ship's dashboard, laid her head in her palms and yawned. Buzz turned his head to get a clear view of the two other rangers in the bridge. Booster was staring out the window into space, oblivious as to what was going on. XR's metallic eyes were fused shut, and his mouth opened to release a soft snore. Buzz looked back out into the endless mass of stars the were slowly moving past. "Okay, so it's a bit of a dull morning," Buzz thought to himself, "but something should happen any second now..."
As if on cue, a high-pitched beep sounded from 42's intercom, making the four rangers jump out of their seats. "Wha...Oh, red alert, I got the fire extinguisher!" XR snapped out of his slumber and pulled a large, red can out of nowhere. Pressing down on the nozzle, a huge fountain of white foam shot out into his face. He had held the fire extinguisher the wrong way.
"XR!" The rest of Team Lightyear said in unison.
"Sorry," XR hid the can sheepishly behind his back.
Buzz Lightyear pressed the button on the intercom, "What is it, Commander?" Buzz asked, as the image of his commanding officer appeared on the screen.
"Buzz, we've got another emergency down at sector twelve," Nebula replied.
"Any details you'd like to run by us..." Buzz hinted.
"Like whose kitten got stuck up a tree this time," XR added.
"XR, be quiet," Booster hissed.
"Sorry, rangers, I have no clue what the emergency is," Nebula replied, ignoring XR's remark.
"No problem, sir, we'll take care of it," Buzz said, trying not to notice that Mira was rolling her eyes.
"That's what I like to hear. Good luck, rangers, over and out," Commander Nebula's face disappeared from the screen.
"Great," Mira said, sarcastically, "now we get to fly hundreds of miles out of our way to rescue some cat."
"Come on, guys," Buzz said, "we don't even know what the mission is yet."
"Buzz, this is sector twelve we're talking about. When has it never been about rescuing kittens off of tree branches?"
"Actually," Booster cut in, "there was that one time when that old lady couldn't open that pickle jar."
"How is that any better than saving a dumb cat?" Mira asked.
Booster shrugged, "You asked for something different, not better."
"Listen team, we're rangers, and rangers never..."
"Buzz, please, I can't take another 'ranger' speech!" Mira interrupted.
"Well, if you'd quit complaining about the job in the first place..." Buzz began.
"Guys!" Booster yelled. The two rangers looked back at Booster, giving him their attention. "Do you HAVE to fight about this, it's bad enough that we got this mission in the first place."
"See, he agrees with me," Mira pointed to Booster.
"I didn't say that..." Booster said, starting to panic.
"No, he's agreeing with me," Buzz argued.
"Can't we just get this mission over with, without arguing!" Booster threw up his hands in protest.
"I'M okay with that," Mira said, glaring at Buzz.
"I've BEEN okay with that from the start," Buzz said, glaring back at Mira.
Buzz and Mira reached for the ship's controls and 42 raced off for sector twelve, it's pilots calm and cooperative.
**************
"You are the most conceited, egotistical, irrational..." Mira shouted at the top of her lungs.
"I'm irrational! You're nothing but an arrogant, stubborn..." Buzz shouted back.
"Stubborn! Look whose talking about stubbornness."
In the back of 42's bridge, Booster and XR sat with their hands over their ears, trying to muffle the heated argument up front.
"You think we should try and stop this?" Booster said to XR.
"What?!" XR yelled.
"I said, 'SHOULD WE TRY AND STOP THIS?!' " Booster strained to be heard over the noise.
"What for?" XR yelled back.
"XR, this isn't one of their normal fights, they've stopped using real words."
"Booster, they never use real words."
"Okay, you've got a point, but they still have to fly 42..."
"They're doing fine, they can multitask."
"XR, are you scared of getting between those two?" Booster grinned as XR's metallic eyes got wider.
"Don't be silly," he said nervously, "I just think they're much better off taking their anger out on each other and not me!"
At this point, both Buzz and Mira had forgotten why they were arguing in the first place, or what they were yelling, or that they were supposed to be flying 42. They just hurled undiscernible insults at each other with a growing intensity. It was Buzz who shouted the first recognizable word.
"PRINCESS!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. For a brief moment the entire bridge was silent.
"That was a mistake," XR said to himself.
"What did you call me?" Mira asked through clenched teeth.
"Don't say it," Booster whispered.
"Princess," Buzz said, mockingly.
Mira's eyes narrowed. "Here it comes," XR said, quietly. Booster covered his eyes with his hands.
With a barbaric yell, Mira leaped from her chair onto Buzz, throwing her fists wildly at him. Buzz managed to grab her wrists and hold them firmly. As Mira struggled to get her hands free, they both toppled out of the chair and onto the floor. Booster and XR watched in amazement at the two rangers rolling on the floor of the bridge.
"NOW should we break this up?" Booster asked XR.
As if in answer, a red laser shot up from the rolling mass of white and headed for the two other rangers. Booster and XR ducked just in time for the laser to zip over their heads and embed itself into the wall behind them. They both looked up at the charred hole in the wall and then back at their dueling comrades, who were completely ignorant to the fact that one of them had almost shot XR and Booster.
"I'm not breaking this up, you break it up," XR said to Booster.
"There's no way they're gonna listen to me, you break them up," Booster replied.
After a few more moments of intense battle, Mira managed to pin Buzz to floor face-down, with one arm twisted behind his back. Mira was sitting on his back, her hands pressing Buzz's arm down into his back.
"Take it back!" she yelled.
"What's the matter, princess, can't you..." Mira pushed on Buzz's arm as hard as she could, making yelp in pain.
"BUZZ AND MIRA!" Booster and XR yelled in unison.
"What?" Buzz and Mira yelled back, their heads snapping up to glare at the other two rangers.
"Ummm...who's flying 42?" XR said, pointing at the foreign moon their star cruiser was about to crash into.
Mira released Buzz and they both scrambled for the controls. They both grabbed a lever at the same time and began fighting for it. 42 swerved sharply in a thousand different directions. Booster nervously bit his nails and XR covered his eyes while chanting, "I'm not here right now. I'm not here right now." The lever Buzz and Mira were fighting over finally snapped, the broken end still held by both of them. For a minute, 42 stopped midair, the two pilots stared at each other and the broken lever with disbelief. Then, 42 dropped straight down towards the strange moon.
**To Be Continued. I know I didn't say anything about the Chlorm scientists yet, but don't worry, it's coming.**