PROLOGUE
It was the last summer before high school. Yuki sat under the tree, reading. Sunlight fell through the leaves, making dappled patterns on his head, and the summer breeze played with his grey hair, pushing it into his eyes. He pushed it back absently, not paying much attention. His concentration was on the required-reading book, but barely. He was waiting.
Suddenly, leaves rustled to his left, and his head shot up, violet eyes bright and eager. He slammed the book shut, a blade of grass marking the page, and scrambled to his feet.
The noise slowed, then stopped. Yuki was on edge. He took a step forward, patience giving out. "Hello? Are you there?"
A twig snapped, and a familiar laugh rang out. "Of course I'm here, baka." Kyou stepped out from behind the tree, smirking, and Yuki grinned.
"I wasn't sure it was you," he said.
Kyou snorted, tossing his orange head. "Who else would it be? And if you didn't think it was me, you shouldn't have said, 'are you there.' You say, 'Is anyone there?' You're not supposed to know."
"Oh, right." The nezumi nodded, the happy smile still on his face. Kyou closed the gap between them, reaching out to ruffle his cousin's hair.
"You're a dork. What're you so excited for?"
"Because I get to see you," Yuki said simply, putting his arm around Kyou's waist. "And I get to be close to you." He tilted his head up a bit, peering at the neko. Kyou was just a tad taller than Yuki, the perfect size for fitting his arm around Yuki's shoulders – which he did. "Aren't you excited, too?"
"I guess so," the other said, teasing. He started strolling between the tall tree trunks, keeping a good grip on Yuki's shoulders. He enjoyed the feeling of Yuki's body against his own. "But then, I'm always happy to see you. And I have an idea for today."
One of them always had an idea. They only got to meet every once in a while, so they had lots of time to plan things to do. Sometimes it was Yuki's turn to come up with something, but this time it was Kyou's.
Yuki leaned into him, interested. "Okay. What? Is it hard?"
"Mmm... sort of. But it will make things easier later on."
"Make things easier?" Yuki's brow furrowed, one knuckle going to his mouth as he thought. "Easier... what things? Is it a scavenger hunt?"
"No."
"Are we building something?"
"Nope."
Yuki made an exasperated noise, thumping Kyou with his book. "Then what is it? Just tell me!"
Kyou caught the hand that held the book and pulled it forward, dragging Yuki off-balance. The nezumi gasped, planting his free hand against Kyou's chest, but before he could utter another word Kyou's mouth was on his. The kiss a delicious shock, a hot current that ran all the way down to his toes. Yuki made a soft noise, his fingers curling into Kyou's shirt as he melted against his cousin, deepening the kiss with a determined flick of his tongue.
When at last they broke away, Yuki was breathing hard, and Kyou's face was flushed. The shadows of the leaves overhead swayed in the breeze, and birds called to each other. "Kyou..." The sound of a door sliding open could be heard faintly, and Yuki froze.
"Kyou," he whispered, cheeks suddenly gone pale. "I think we're too close to the house."
"No, we're not." Kyou turned, still pulling Yuki by the wrist, and looked back over his shoulder. Bushes and trees went right up to the property line of the Honke, but there was a gap in the tall trunks that showed the house clearly.
Yuki's eyes flew to Kyou's, frightened. "Yes, we are! They might've seen us! Quick, let's go, before someone comes --!"
"Wait!" Kyou didn't move, still clutched Yuki's quivering form. There was something burning in his expression, something urgent about his voice. "It's okay. This is my idea, Yuki. They need to know eventually – why not now? Aren't you tired of waiting weeks to see each other like this? Aren't you sick of hiding? I am."
Yuki's eyes showed white, panic slowly filtering into his system. He dug his heels into the soft earth, pushing against his cousin. "No, I'm not! We can't let them see, they can't know!"
Kyou let him put space between them, but he wouldn't let go of Yuki's wrist. "Why not? We're both thirteen. That's more than old enough to know what we're doing. We've been through a lot so far, and we can do this, too. Besides – I want them to know! Damn it, Yuki, I love you!"
Yuki turned beet red, stunned. They'd never said that to each other. He knew Kyou loved him, but to say it now, for this --! "No..."
"Yes. Let's tell. We have to. Come here, we'll do it together."
Yuki shook his head, swiveling it frantically as he scanned the tree line, desperately afraid someone would see them. "We can't! Kyou, please! Let go of me!" He yanked at his arm, but it didn't budge. Kyou had it securely clamped in his calloused fingers, and his grip was strong.
"Why're you fighting me on this, Yuki? Don't you want us to be together –"
"I don't care!" Yuki leaned back and twisted his arm sharply, breaking Kyou's hold at last. He fell back, cradling his sore arm to his chest, begging his cousin to reconsider. "We can't, Kyou, don't you get that? We don't have a chance! Akito –"
"He won't care, Yun-chan." Kyou reached for Yuki, his voice soft. "He won't do anything –"
The rat jumped back, stumbling, as if Kyou's touch was death. "Yes, he will! He hates me! He hates *you*! Look what he did to Hatori!" A sob escaped him, and tears suddenly spilled down his cheeks. "You can't tell, you just can't! I won't let you!"
"We can't hide forever!" Kyou snapped. "When are we going to tell then? When we're eighty?"
"We don't need to tell! Everything's fine!"
Anger surged through Kyou, balling his hands into fists. "It's not fine! You might be too scared to say something, but I'm not! I'm not scared of Akito! I'm going to tell right now!"
"NO!" Both of them stopped, stunned by the shout. Yuki looked more surprised than Kyou, his face white. They stood in silence, staring at each other, both trembling with emotion.
Yuki bit down on his tongue, almost drawing blood. Kyou didn't understand. If they told Akito, they would both die. Akito hated, *hated* the cat. If he found out that his precious mouse-child was in love with the animal he thought of as a monster, he would kill them both. But that was the whole point: he couldn't find out. Yuki had to keep Kyou safe, even from himself. And the only way to do that was to keep Kyou from trying.
Steeling himself, Yuki looked his lover in the eye, letting the cool façade he'd learned from Akito fall into place. "I... I can't do this any more. I can't pretend. Kyou... I don't want to tell because it's pointless. I don't want to see you anymore. I – I don't love you."
"What?" Kyou looked like he'd been slapped. "Don't joke, Yuki. You don't mean that."
He bit his tongue again, the pain keeping him on track. "I do. I've got high school next year. I have to think of the future. I can't spend time messing around." There was movement in the corner of his eye, freezing his blood, and he glanced over Kyou's shoulder at the house. Someone was standing on the porch, watching them. "This... thing we have. It doesn't have a future. It's irresponsible, and childish. I'm too old for your games. From now on –"His throat threatened to close, but he choked out the words before it could. "—I want you to stay away from me."
"You're lying," Kyou said quickly. "You can't –"
"I'm not lying." Yuki wanted to curl in on himself. His stomach hurt so much, and there was a sharp pain in his chest. He couldn't take that look on Kyou's face, that horrible betrayed look. "I'm not gay like you are. You're a pervert. And I don't want to see you anymore! Just – stay away!"
Agonized, disbelieving, Kyou took another step forward, but it was too much. Like a startled deer, Yuki spun on his heel and darted past Kyou, crashing through the break in the bushes. He fled to the house, his breath burning in his chest as he crossed the manicured lawn. slamming into the porch with a small cry. Tears blinded him, but he wouldn't let them fall. Instead, he clung to the engawa, fingernails digging into the wood as he fought for control. A whispered noise slithered across the engawa, and he looked up. Through the watery curtain he could see white buttoned socks, and a cream kimono. Akito's scent suddenly filled his nose, and thin, birdlike hands cradled his face...
(To be continued...)
It was the last summer before high school. Yuki sat under the tree, reading. Sunlight fell through the leaves, making dappled patterns on his head, and the summer breeze played with his grey hair, pushing it into his eyes. He pushed it back absently, not paying much attention. His concentration was on the required-reading book, but barely. He was waiting.
Suddenly, leaves rustled to his left, and his head shot up, violet eyes bright and eager. He slammed the book shut, a blade of grass marking the page, and scrambled to his feet.
The noise slowed, then stopped. Yuki was on edge. He took a step forward, patience giving out. "Hello? Are you there?"
A twig snapped, and a familiar laugh rang out. "Of course I'm here, baka." Kyou stepped out from behind the tree, smirking, and Yuki grinned.
"I wasn't sure it was you," he said.
Kyou snorted, tossing his orange head. "Who else would it be? And if you didn't think it was me, you shouldn't have said, 'are you there.' You say, 'Is anyone there?' You're not supposed to know."
"Oh, right." The nezumi nodded, the happy smile still on his face. Kyou closed the gap between them, reaching out to ruffle his cousin's hair.
"You're a dork. What're you so excited for?"
"Because I get to see you," Yuki said simply, putting his arm around Kyou's waist. "And I get to be close to you." He tilted his head up a bit, peering at the neko. Kyou was just a tad taller than Yuki, the perfect size for fitting his arm around Yuki's shoulders – which he did. "Aren't you excited, too?"
"I guess so," the other said, teasing. He started strolling between the tall tree trunks, keeping a good grip on Yuki's shoulders. He enjoyed the feeling of Yuki's body against his own. "But then, I'm always happy to see you. And I have an idea for today."
One of them always had an idea. They only got to meet every once in a while, so they had lots of time to plan things to do. Sometimes it was Yuki's turn to come up with something, but this time it was Kyou's.
Yuki leaned into him, interested. "Okay. What? Is it hard?"
"Mmm... sort of. But it will make things easier later on."
"Make things easier?" Yuki's brow furrowed, one knuckle going to his mouth as he thought. "Easier... what things? Is it a scavenger hunt?"
"No."
"Are we building something?"
"Nope."
Yuki made an exasperated noise, thumping Kyou with his book. "Then what is it? Just tell me!"
Kyou caught the hand that held the book and pulled it forward, dragging Yuki off-balance. The nezumi gasped, planting his free hand against Kyou's chest, but before he could utter another word Kyou's mouth was on his. The kiss a delicious shock, a hot current that ran all the way down to his toes. Yuki made a soft noise, his fingers curling into Kyou's shirt as he melted against his cousin, deepening the kiss with a determined flick of his tongue.
When at last they broke away, Yuki was breathing hard, and Kyou's face was flushed. The shadows of the leaves overhead swayed in the breeze, and birds called to each other. "Kyou..." The sound of a door sliding open could be heard faintly, and Yuki froze.
"Kyou," he whispered, cheeks suddenly gone pale. "I think we're too close to the house."
"No, we're not." Kyou turned, still pulling Yuki by the wrist, and looked back over his shoulder. Bushes and trees went right up to the property line of the Honke, but there was a gap in the tall trunks that showed the house clearly.
Yuki's eyes flew to Kyou's, frightened. "Yes, we are! They might've seen us! Quick, let's go, before someone comes --!"
"Wait!" Kyou didn't move, still clutched Yuki's quivering form. There was something burning in his expression, something urgent about his voice. "It's okay. This is my idea, Yuki. They need to know eventually – why not now? Aren't you tired of waiting weeks to see each other like this? Aren't you sick of hiding? I am."
Yuki's eyes showed white, panic slowly filtering into his system. He dug his heels into the soft earth, pushing against his cousin. "No, I'm not! We can't let them see, they can't know!"
Kyou let him put space between them, but he wouldn't let go of Yuki's wrist. "Why not? We're both thirteen. That's more than old enough to know what we're doing. We've been through a lot so far, and we can do this, too. Besides – I want them to know! Damn it, Yuki, I love you!"
Yuki turned beet red, stunned. They'd never said that to each other. He knew Kyou loved him, but to say it now, for this --! "No..."
"Yes. Let's tell. We have to. Come here, we'll do it together."
Yuki shook his head, swiveling it frantically as he scanned the tree line, desperately afraid someone would see them. "We can't! Kyou, please! Let go of me!" He yanked at his arm, but it didn't budge. Kyou had it securely clamped in his calloused fingers, and his grip was strong.
"Why're you fighting me on this, Yuki? Don't you want us to be together –"
"I don't care!" Yuki leaned back and twisted his arm sharply, breaking Kyou's hold at last. He fell back, cradling his sore arm to his chest, begging his cousin to reconsider. "We can't, Kyou, don't you get that? We don't have a chance! Akito –"
"He won't care, Yun-chan." Kyou reached for Yuki, his voice soft. "He won't do anything –"
The rat jumped back, stumbling, as if Kyou's touch was death. "Yes, he will! He hates me! He hates *you*! Look what he did to Hatori!" A sob escaped him, and tears suddenly spilled down his cheeks. "You can't tell, you just can't! I won't let you!"
"We can't hide forever!" Kyou snapped. "When are we going to tell then? When we're eighty?"
"We don't need to tell! Everything's fine!"
Anger surged through Kyou, balling his hands into fists. "It's not fine! You might be too scared to say something, but I'm not! I'm not scared of Akito! I'm going to tell right now!"
"NO!" Both of them stopped, stunned by the shout. Yuki looked more surprised than Kyou, his face white. They stood in silence, staring at each other, both trembling with emotion.
Yuki bit down on his tongue, almost drawing blood. Kyou didn't understand. If they told Akito, they would both die. Akito hated, *hated* the cat. If he found out that his precious mouse-child was in love with the animal he thought of as a monster, he would kill them both. But that was the whole point: he couldn't find out. Yuki had to keep Kyou safe, even from himself. And the only way to do that was to keep Kyou from trying.
Steeling himself, Yuki looked his lover in the eye, letting the cool façade he'd learned from Akito fall into place. "I... I can't do this any more. I can't pretend. Kyou... I don't want to tell because it's pointless. I don't want to see you anymore. I – I don't love you."
"What?" Kyou looked like he'd been slapped. "Don't joke, Yuki. You don't mean that."
He bit his tongue again, the pain keeping him on track. "I do. I've got high school next year. I have to think of the future. I can't spend time messing around." There was movement in the corner of his eye, freezing his blood, and he glanced over Kyou's shoulder at the house. Someone was standing on the porch, watching them. "This... thing we have. It doesn't have a future. It's irresponsible, and childish. I'm too old for your games. From now on –"His throat threatened to close, but he choked out the words before it could. "—I want you to stay away from me."
"You're lying," Kyou said quickly. "You can't –"
"I'm not lying." Yuki wanted to curl in on himself. His stomach hurt so much, and there was a sharp pain in his chest. He couldn't take that look on Kyou's face, that horrible betrayed look. "I'm not gay like you are. You're a pervert. And I don't want to see you anymore! Just – stay away!"
Agonized, disbelieving, Kyou took another step forward, but it was too much. Like a startled deer, Yuki spun on his heel and darted past Kyou, crashing through the break in the bushes. He fled to the house, his breath burning in his chest as he crossed the manicured lawn. slamming into the porch with a small cry. Tears blinded him, but he wouldn't let them fall. Instead, he clung to the engawa, fingernails digging into the wood as he fought for control. A whispered noise slithered across the engawa, and he looked up. Through the watery curtain he could see white buttoned socks, and a cream kimono. Akito's scent suddenly filled his nose, and thin, birdlike hands cradled his face...
(To be continued...)