Hey sailor moon readers.
This is my first fanfic so I would love to get heaps of reviews off you
guys to help me out and to tell me how I can improve to make it more
enjoyable for ya. The summary of my story is down below. Please give my
story a chance.
The normal symbols everyone probably knows but will say anyway:
"___" when someone is talking
'___' when someone is thinking
*___* scene change
~___~ some ones point of view (POV)
(____) My added thoughts on the story
SUMMARY:
Ok Serena and the girls are all 18 in this except Mina who is 23 and is dating Andrew (But will go more into depth about that later in my story :D and about the other characters Serena meets along the way.) Serena has been living with her high school sweet heart for a whole year now, till she finds out what he has been up to when she was at work.
Serena's first real steady boyfriend Seiya cheats on her. She finds this out by walking in on him and another women in her bed doing it. (I really don't have to explain what doing it means do I??) She ran out straight away and ran as fast as possible to get as far away from him as possible (We all know how fast she can run), crying hysterically in the process. Water filling her eyes she couldn't really see where she was going but she didn't care. She hadn't realized she had run onto the road. Cars driving past beeping their horns at her. A truck was coming straight for her. Of course he didn't notice Serena because he was eating something and had suddenly dropped it to the ground and went in search for it. She didn't notice though she was in her own little world of misery and sadness until she heard someone yelling at her she looked up immediately to see what all the commotion was about only to see the truck a few feet in front of her. Serena froze at once she couldn't move a bone in her body. "Watch out!!!!!!" Serena heard in the background but she couldn't move. 'I don't have anything to live for in this world anymore anyway so who cares' tears began to fill her eyes as she closed them awaiting her death..... "No!!!!!!!!!!!"
So what do you think does my story sound promising???????? Please review I know it is only the summary but still I would like to know if you think my story could be something worth reading. Thanks again. Love Ash
"___" when someone is talking
'___' when someone is thinking
*___* scene change
~___~ some ones point of view (POV)
(____) My added thoughts on the story
SUMMARY:
Ok Serena and the girls are all 18 in this except Mina who is 23 and is dating Andrew (But will go more into depth about that later in my story :D and about the other characters Serena meets along the way.) Serena has been living with her high school sweet heart for a whole year now, till she finds out what he has been up to when she was at work.
Serena's first real steady boyfriend Seiya cheats on her. She finds this out by walking in on him and another women in her bed doing it. (I really don't have to explain what doing it means do I??) She ran out straight away and ran as fast as possible to get as far away from him as possible (We all know how fast she can run), crying hysterically in the process. Water filling her eyes she couldn't really see where she was going but she didn't care. She hadn't realized she had run onto the road. Cars driving past beeping their horns at her. A truck was coming straight for her. Of course he didn't notice Serena because he was eating something and had suddenly dropped it to the ground and went in search for it. She didn't notice though she was in her own little world of misery and sadness until she heard someone yelling at her she looked up immediately to see what all the commotion was about only to see the truck a few feet in front of her. Serena froze at once she couldn't move a bone in her body. "Watch out!!!!!!" Serena heard in the background but she couldn't move. 'I don't have anything to live for in this world anymore anyway so who cares' tears began to fill her eyes as she closed them awaiting her death..... "No!!!!!!!!!!!"
So what do you think does my story sound promising???????? Please review I know it is only the summary but still I would like to know if you think my story could be something worth reading. Thanks again. Love Ash