Hmm, not much to say about this one...slightly angsty but in a sweet type of
way. (or at least to me...my friends would tell you different but its all
perspective.) Rated it 'R' just to be on the safe side...for those of you who
know what took place before this; you know why. ^^;
Yeah...this is SHOUNEN AI hinting at YAOI. If you do not like it or are
offended by it or simply can not stand it then...hmm LEAVE? I am not forcing
you to read this and I am not in any way shape or form trying to inflict my
opinions as right or wrong I am simply a fanfiction writer who was abused
by her muse to write this. :P So like I've said above if you cant handle
S/A then I suggest that you leave if not and you are mature enough to
handle it then by all means read on. Id love to receive some reviews
although flames may be fed to my dogs, who, since they have notoriously
gassy intestinal tracts, will be spending the night with the flamer
afterwards *smiles "sweetly"* Have fun.
Oh yeah, Yu Yu Hakusho is not mine. Theirs. Too bad, but otherwise, I guess Id never get anything done *nice hentai thought*. Anyway, not making any money off of this so don't sue me. You'd only get some debt, a few dogs, and a pair of fuzzy house slippers anyway. ^-^+
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The morning raindrops clung to the window and that was the first thing he saw as he opened his eyes half way and peered out through his lashes. The day didn't even look like it had come; it was so dark out side. His whole body was sore and momentarily he forgot why. Why he couldn't move his arms or legs without any amount of strain. But then the nights events came back to him.
His fingers trailed down to his hips, as tears were forming in his eyes, not entirely believing that what he thought to be true could actually have happened. His fingers left a seductive caress over his tender skin and for one heart wrenching moment of fear, desperation, and disappointment he was afraid that it was all just a dream. A wonderful fantasy of what he wanted, what he needed that little koorime to do with him. To do to him.
His fingers stopped at the jut of his hip bone and the tears spilt over. He nearly yelped in pain at the tenderness that had invoked such pain with just that one soft touch.
The tears came freely now, knowing that it couldn't have been a dream. He brought his hand up to his neck slowly, as if not to disturb the sheets around him and gingerly felt himself over as he went. There, just as he had started to remember was the bite mark, which had scabbed over slightly but was mostly healed by now, that the little fire demon had made last night. The scratches and the bruises that he had unknowingly inflicted, or so Kurama hoped, were starting to heal.
He shivered. He felt around for the demons ki, and his warmth, but none came to him. His heart leapt. Where had he gone?! He wouldn't have just left him again would he have? It hurt but he stretched out his ki further, just managing to thoroughly scan the room. Where was he?!
All of the pain in his physical being, the pounding pressure that was building in the back of his eyes from searching for Hiei's ki, were nothing compared to the pain that was now pushing in on his chest with such a suffocating pressure he felt he might not be able to breath.
He pushed himself up onto his elbows, though it hurt, he barely noticed it. There next to him, where he expected to find his koibito, in all of his bedraggled, sleep induced glory; was only the imprint of a body and a certain lingering warmth, as if he had just left.
His breath caught in his throat, emitting a small little choked sound to come from him and he fought to keep his eyes from spilling the tears he knew were just screaming to be released.
He didn't want to feel more. None of them. No more of the salty signs of his weaknesses running their filthy trail down his face.
It had happened again. Why? After Hiei had told him that he wouldn't leave, after he had fallen asleep making him promise not to leave him alone he had gone and left him to deal with the wounds and after-pain of that night. It wasn't even the pain coursing from every piece of torn and bruised, bitten and love-made tenderized tendon that was causing this reaction from him, no it was...his, it was- -
NO. He wouldn't stand it anymore. Kurama let his face fall into the heated imprint of his koi, and let the tears soak into the sheets. The fear and agony that had welled up inside of him, making his heart thump painfully just inside his chest, now exulted him in choking moans and sobs.
This had been all too much. He didn't know how much longer he could live with this. He was disgusted with himself. No wonder Hiei had left, after his begging last night, who wouldn't have left? What did he have to stay for? His crying?
His shoulder shook as he felt the pain slowly coming back to him. No matter how many times Hiei sent Yukina to come heal him, it would never completely take the true pain away. The pain that got folded beneath the layers of his heart and soul only for his knowledge. Yukina was Hiei's own way of showing repentance for what he'd done to him but, if Hiei would just stay by him, be there when Kurama woke up, Kurama would gladly keep his wounds.
He refused to think that Hiei was just using him. That wasn't Hiei, and for demons, he knew, that sex is the most intimate a love they know how to show. Hiei's would obviously be a little, Kurama's thought process was skewed by a jagged pain making itself known where he had his abdomen and back twisted into the bed, well rougher. But still Kurama didn't know what to do. He couldn't even end it all because that would mean he would never get to see Hiei again, and that only made his heart hurt worse. He was so selfish, not letting his own koibito love freely, trying to keep such a beautifully dangerous creature all to himself. He inhaled quickly, having to do so a couple times to relinquish the burning sensation of his lungs craving oxygen because of his crying, and immediately regretted it. He felt Hiei all around him again. He felt his scent, his heat, his presence.
His hand wound around the loose sheets and he clutched them tightly, trying to stop his fit. If only he were here, if only he had woken him up when he had left, even just to say that he was leaving, it would have been better than being left alone.
He heard a door open and for a second he was terrified that it was his mother, home early from her trip to Kyoto. He immediately pulled up the sheets to cover his body and sat up in bed, wincing at the pain that shot through him when he did. Instinctively he had looked at his room's entrance door, expecting to see his mother, confused and maybe even a little disgusted at his state but nobody was even there.
"Hn, is that really necessary now?" a deep voice from the other side of the room asked.
Kurama's eyes widened at the familiar voice and word, and his heart lightened as he whipped his head in the direction of the voice. The black cloak of emotions that had encased him in its damper being lifted at just the sound of his voice.
There leaning on the door frame of his bathroom was Hiei, his constant half smirk half scowl planted on his face, his hair in its wild static-y fashion splayed this way and that and his crimson orbs piercing and unyielding, boring straight into the tender part of his heart. So he hadn't left!
"Hie- - Hiei?" Kurama managed to choke out, biting his lip before he could disgrace himself more with the sound of his voice.
He thought he saw Hiei's eyes flash, but as quickly as the thought passed through his mind it left the demons face. As much as Hiei would have liked to he couldn't hold back what his body made it self do involuntarily. His bare chest twitched and tightened, sending a rippling wave of heat over Kurama's own body. Was that because of him?
"Fox, what is wrong with your face?" he asked harshly, pushing off from the door and crossing his arms over his chest, obviously knowing what his body had done.
"What do you mean?" Kurama asked bringing his hand up to his face, then remembering what had just transpired. His face must have looked blotchy and red, his ruby red strands he knew had to be clumped and matted, and there was no doubt in his mind that Hiei hadn't been watching for at least a fraction of the time he had been crying.
Kurama felt a stab at his pride. The youko in him berating him inwardly. How had he not felt Hiei's ki? Had he just been in his bathroom and his ki hadn't picked up on his koi's ki? Stupid! How could he not have picked up on it?!
Soft warm fingers slowly came around his cheek, stopping his prides tormenting lashings. Lost in his own thoughts Kurama hadn't seen Hiei moving toward him and was startled when the fire demon let his heated dexterous hands slide up against his face, to cup his cheek.
"Tell me." he commanded softly but sternly, tilting his head up making Kurama look straight into his face.
Kurama's breath was once again taken away as his emerald eyes were captured by the blood red orbs that now bore into his own. Like roses, Kurama thought. Beautiful, blood colored buds that behind the beauty had plenty a thorn, that caused them to be shut off and cold to the world.
"I..I just had a nightmare. Really it's- -it's ok, I actually feel kind of stupid now." He brought a hand up behind his neck and tried for a laugh but only succeeded in getting a strange forced chuckle. Kurama turned his head away and hoped that Hiei hadn't picked up on his voice, trying to shy away from the tantalizingly warm touch of the koorime.
Hiei climbed on top of him, straddling Kurama's tender hips thankfully, and forced him to look at him once again.
"I don't like it when you lie to me. Now tell me the truth kitsune." He said again, never raising his voice or threatening, simply a command that expected an answer, the same way a you would speak to a naughty fox.
Kurama bit his lip to keep the tears that were pricking the back of his eyes from spilling over. Hiei was so close to him and he hadn't left him after all. He had kept his promise and now all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around his warm kiobito and curl around the only one he ever cared to see again.
"I...I...thought you had, left me..."he told him truthfully and he added nearly inaudibly "again." Hiei started to make a noise but Kurama gave him a look that dared him to say he hadn't ever left him, surprising himself at the wisp of emotion that danced over Hiei's face as he stared up at him forcefully.
"Hn." Hiei replied, breaking the physical connection and looking away, focusing on the outside of the window. "I told you I wouldn't leave you fox, did you not think that I would keep that promise?"
Kurama's eyes were drawn down to Hiei's bare chest, so smooth and inviting, trying to find something that he could focus on, suddenly feeling extremely guilty about doubting Hiei's word.
"Hai, I did." Kurama admitted, letting the sheet that he had been clutching to his chest fall and pool around his waist. "But you're here, so it doesn't matter anymore."
He smiled up at him and let his own fingertips feather tip their way up his abdomen, drinking in the every contour and swell of his toned body once again. Hiei's chest wasn't the only thing that hardened when Kurama's fingertips started to glide their way up his torso. Kurama grinned and slid his whole hand around the demons neck and into Hiei's midnight black hair, scooting closer to him so he could hear his breathing.
Hiei pulled away slightly and looked back at Kurama, and he nearly pulled away too. Hiei's eyes were full of some raw emotion that even Kurama couldn't pin down. "All that just because you thought that I had left you?" he asked his eyes serving as little lie detectors.
"Ei." Kurama whispered, drawing his lashes down so that he wouldn't have to look into those eyes any more. He saw too much pain and guilt in them, and was afraid of what he might glimpse if Hiei was showing him all of this already.
He stole a glance up at him through his thick lashes, catching Hiei's eyes once again. There was something going on in them and Kurama could tell he was battling something inside of him.
"You won't be rid of me that easily fox." Hiei finally said to him. "You're mine kitsune, and I will never leave." Hiei said this with a force that wasn't needed, simply the words made Kuramas skin prickle all over. Yes he had heard Hiei tell him that he was 'his' but now it sounded real, not passion fogged, but a true declaration. The threat had been Hiei's way of being tender. Kurama scooted closer and put his mouth next to his ear, listing to the rain outside his window for a second before breathing into his ear "As are you my little Jaganshi."
Oh yeah, Yu Yu Hakusho is not mine. Theirs. Too bad, but otherwise, I guess Id never get anything done *nice hentai thought*. Anyway, not making any money off of this so don't sue me. You'd only get some debt, a few dogs, and a pair of fuzzy house slippers anyway. ^-^+
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The morning raindrops clung to the window and that was the first thing he saw as he opened his eyes half way and peered out through his lashes. The day didn't even look like it had come; it was so dark out side. His whole body was sore and momentarily he forgot why. Why he couldn't move his arms or legs without any amount of strain. But then the nights events came back to him.
His fingers trailed down to his hips, as tears were forming in his eyes, not entirely believing that what he thought to be true could actually have happened. His fingers left a seductive caress over his tender skin and for one heart wrenching moment of fear, desperation, and disappointment he was afraid that it was all just a dream. A wonderful fantasy of what he wanted, what he needed that little koorime to do with him. To do to him.
His fingers stopped at the jut of his hip bone and the tears spilt over. He nearly yelped in pain at the tenderness that had invoked such pain with just that one soft touch.
The tears came freely now, knowing that it couldn't have been a dream. He brought his hand up to his neck slowly, as if not to disturb the sheets around him and gingerly felt himself over as he went. There, just as he had started to remember was the bite mark, which had scabbed over slightly but was mostly healed by now, that the little fire demon had made last night. The scratches and the bruises that he had unknowingly inflicted, or so Kurama hoped, were starting to heal.
He shivered. He felt around for the demons ki, and his warmth, but none came to him. His heart leapt. Where had he gone?! He wouldn't have just left him again would he have? It hurt but he stretched out his ki further, just managing to thoroughly scan the room. Where was he?!
All of the pain in his physical being, the pounding pressure that was building in the back of his eyes from searching for Hiei's ki, were nothing compared to the pain that was now pushing in on his chest with such a suffocating pressure he felt he might not be able to breath.
He pushed himself up onto his elbows, though it hurt, he barely noticed it. There next to him, where he expected to find his koibito, in all of his bedraggled, sleep induced glory; was only the imprint of a body and a certain lingering warmth, as if he had just left.
His breath caught in his throat, emitting a small little choked sound to come from him and he fought to keep his eyes from spilling the tears he knew were just screaming to be released.
He didn't want to feel more. None of them. No more of the salty signs of his weaknesses running their filthy trail down his face.
It had happened again. Why? After Hiei had told him that he wouldn't leave, after he had fallen asleep making him promise not to leave him alone he had gone and left him to deal with the wounds and after-pain of that night. It wasn't even the pain coursing from every piece of torn and bruised, bitten and love-made tenderized tendon that was causing this reaction from him, no it was...his, it was- -
NO. He wouldn't stand it anymore. Kurama let his face fall into the heated imprint of his koi, and let the tears soak into the sheets. The fear and agony that had welled up inside of him, making his heart thump painfully just inside his chest, now exulted him in choking moans and sobs.
This had been all too much. He didn't know how much longer he could live with this. He was disgusted with himself. No wonder Hiei had left, after his begging last night, who wouldn't have left? What did he have to stay for? His crying?
His shoulder shook as he felt the pain slowly coming back to him. No matter how many times Hiei sent Yukina to come heal him, it would never completely take the true pain away. The pain that got folded beneath the layers of his heart and soul only for his knowledge. Yukina was Hiei's own way of showing repentance for what he'd done to him but, if Hiei would just stay by him, be there when Kurama woke up, Kurama would gladly keep his wounds.
He refused to think that Hiei was just using him. That wasn't Hiei, and for demons, he knew, that sex is the most intimate a love they know how to show. Hiei's would obviously be a little, Kurama's thought process was skewed by a jagged pain making itself known where he had his abdomen and back twisted into the bed, well rougher. But still Kurama didn't know what to do. He couldn't even end it all because that would mean he would never get to see Hiei again, and that only made his heart hurt worse. He was so selfish, not letting his own koibito love freely, trying to keep such a beautifully dangerous creature all to himself. He inhaled quickly, having to do so a couple times to relinquish the burning sensation of his lungs craving oxygen because of his crying, and immediately regretted it. He felt Hiei all around him again. He felt his scent, his heat, his presence.
His hand wound around the loose sheets and he clutched them tightly, trying to stop his fit. If only he were here, if only he had woken him up when he had left, even just to say that he was leaving, it would have been better than being left alone.
He heard a door open and for a second he was terrified that it was his mother, home early from her trip to Kyoto. He immediately pulled up the sheets to cover his body and sat up in bed, wincing at the pain that shot through him when he did. Instinctively he had looked at his room's entrance door, expecting to see his mother, confused and maybe even a little disgusted at his state but nobody was even there.
"Hn, is that really necessary now?" a deep voice from the other side of the room asked.
Kurama's eyes widened at the familiar voice and word, and his heart lightened as he whipped his head in the direction of the voice. The black cloak of emotions that had encased him in its damper being lifted at just the sound of his voice.
There leaning on the door frame of his bathroom was Hiei, his constant half smirk half scowl planted on his face, his hair in its wild static-y fashion splayed this way and that and his crimson orbs piercing and unyielding, boring straight into the tender part of his heart. So he hadn't left!
"Hie- - Hiei?" Kurama managed to choke out, biting his lip before he could disgrace himself more with the sound of his voice.
He thought he saw Hiei's eyes flash, but as quickly as the thought passed through his mind it left the demons face. As much as Hiei would have liked to he couldn't hold back what his body made it self do involuntarily. His bare chest twitched and tightened, sending a rippling wave of heat over Kurama's own body. Was that because of him?
"Fox, what is wrong with your face?" he asked harshly, pushing off from the door and crossing his arms over his chest, obviously knowing what his body had done.
"What do you mean?" Kurama asked bringing his hand up to his face, then remembering what had just transpired. His face must have looked blotchy and red, his ruby red strands he knew had to be clumped and matted, and there was no doubt in his mind that Hiei hadn't been watching for at least a fraction of the time he had been crying.
Kurama felt a stab at his pride. The youko in him berating him inwardly. How had he not felt Hiei's ki? Had he just been in his bathroom and his ki hadn't picked up on his koi's ki? Stupid! How could he not have picked up on it?!
Soft warm fingers slowly came around his cheek, stopping his prides tormenting lashings. Lost in his own thoughts Kurama hadn't seen Hiei moving toward him and was startled when the fire demon let his heated dexterous hands slide up against his face, to cup his cheek.
"Tell me." he commanded softly but sternly, tilting his head up making Kurama look straight into his face.
Kurama's breath was once again taken away as his emerald eyes were captured by the blood red orbs that now bore into his own. Like roses, Kurama thought. Beautiful, blood colored buds that behind the beauty had plenty a thorn, that caused them to be shut off and cold to the world.
"I..I just had a nightmare. Really it's- -it's ok, I actually feel kind of stupid now." He brought a hand up behind his neck and tried for a laugh but only succeeded in getting a strange forced chuckle. Kurama turned his head away and hoped that Hiei hadn't picked up on his voice, trying to shy away from the tantalizingly warm touch of the koorime.
Hiei climbed on top of him, straddling Kurama's tender hips thankfully, and forced him to look at him once again.
"I don't like it when you lie to me. Now tell me the truth kitsune." He said again, never raising his voice or threatening, simply a command that expected an answer, the same way a you would speak to a naughty fox.
Kurama bit his lip to keep the tears that were pricking the back of his eyes from spilling over. Hiei was so close to him and he hadn't left him after all. He had kept his promise and now all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around his warm kiobito and curl around the only one he ever cared to see again.
"I...I...thought you had, left me..."he told him truthfully and he added nearly inaudibly "again." Hiei started to make a noise but Kurama gave him a look that dared him to say he hadn't ever left him, surprising himself at the wisp of emotion that danced over Hiei's face as he stared up at him forcefully.
"Hn." Hiei replied, breaking the physical connection and looking away, focusing on the outside of the window. "I told you I wouldn't leave you fox, did you not think that I would keep that promise?"
Kurama's eyes were drawn down to Hiei's bare chest, so smooth and inviting, trying to find something that he could focus on, suddenly feeling extremely guilty about doubting Hiei's word.
"Hai, I did." Kurama admitted, letting the sheet that he had been clutching to his chest fall and pool around his waist. "But you're here, so it doesn't matter anymore."
He smiled up at him and let his own fingertips feather tip their way up his abdomen, drinking in the every contour and swell of his toned body once again. Hiei's chest wasn't the only thing that hardened when Kurama's fingertips started to glide their way up his torso. Kurama grinned and slid his whole hand around the demons neck and into Hiei's midnight black hair, scooting closer to him so he could hear his breathing.
Hiei pulled away slightly and looked back at Kurama, and he nearly pulled away too. Hiei's eyes were full of some raw emotion that even Kurama couldn't pin down. "All that just because you thought that I had left you?" he asked his eyes serving as little lie detectors.
"Ei." Kurama whispered, drawing his lashes down so that he wouldn't have to look into those eyes any more. He saw too much pain and guilt in them, and was afraid of what he might glimpse if Hiei was showing him all of this already.
He stole a glance up at him through his thick lashes, catching Hiei's eyes once again. There was something going on in them and Kurama could tell he was battling something inside of him.
"You won't be rid of me that easily fox." Hiei finally said to him. "You're mine kitsune, and I will never leave." Hiei said this with a force that wasn't needed, simply the words made Kuramas skin prickle all over. Yes he had heard Hiei tell him that he was 'his' but now it sounded real, not passion fogged, but a true declaration. The threat had been Hiei's way of being tender. Kurama scooted closer and put his mouth next to his ear, listing to the rain outside his window for a second before breathing into his ear "As are you my little Jaganshi."