Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2, or any characters from it, Ryoga and Nabiki in particular are not my creations and are not my property. Charlotte's Web (The book the movie and whatever else they made it) is not my property, however the Fan Fiction of the same title was my own work having little to nothing to do with spiders. Original characters made up by myself are my creative property, and blessedly too pathetic to be copied by anyone.
Not For Children . . .
If you're a kid . . . and you're reading this . . . STOP!
This story is for older, more mature people, (mind you kids can be plenty mature, but I'm using the grown up meaning of the word, which translates to: Over 18) it is filled with grown-up innuendo, adult situations and such, and now you (or your child if you're a marauding parent) have been warned, I shouldn't have to fill this, or any other story with the dreaded 'curse words' to make you realize that it isnt child-safe.
Charlotte's Sequel
Chapter I
We're Back, Yo!
Ryoga Hibiki woke up, stretched, and looked around. Another beautiful day in . . . well, wherever they were. Nabiki claimed that they were headed for the Tendo Training Hall, Ryoga didn't recognize any of the terrain though. He didn't dare suggest that she'd gotten lost. Not to her face anyway, and if he wasn't saying it to her face there just wasn't much point to saying it since she was the only person he'd seen for the past week.
He was getting the feeling that she preferred seclusion, though he'd never figured her being anti-social before. Really she was always such a people person . . . in her way.
They'd actually been surviving off of money she'd scammed from people, Ryoga had tried time and time again to convince her not to take other people's money, on one occasion it had led to a *serious* conflict. But in the end he gave up and let her have her way, it seemed to please her so much to count her 'winnings'.
He hadn't really taken many jobs on the road, since he had to stay in one place to be able to hold a normal job, there just weren't many places that handed out salaries daily, who knew?
He took a deep breath, breathing in the forest/swamp/wherever air, relaxing. From the tent came the sounds that usually meant Nabiki was awake. The sound of someone rolling around in a sleeping bag, the scream at whatever had gotten into her hair over the last night, and of course her actual appearance a few moments later. Upon her wake, Nabiki Tendo, a person possessed by the soul of an ancient Chinese goddess looked more like a normal mortal: her hair was messy, somehow she'd managed to get a twig in it–though there were no sticks in the tent–her image of perfection was gone, with the exception of the light of intelligence in her eyes.
Ryoga smiled at her, "Where'd this come from?" He asked, taking the twig out of her hair.
"Good question. Probably from rolling around with my boyfriend after you went to sleep."
"Who is this boyfriend you speak of? We're the only ones out here, and we didn't do anything last night." Ryoga said, raising his eyebrows in mock confusion.
"Yeah honey, I said 'boyfriend' not 'fiancee' I only fool around with you on days that don't start with a T or an S."
"Monday, Wednesday, Friday . . . Huh? Hey, that's true!" Ryoga realized. "You've got a schedule?"
"Of course." Nabiki said. "All women have them, sweety, it's a recipe for success. That's why in all the best post-apocalyptic movies, if the world wasn't conquered by women, the strongest tribe is the one with the most women."
"I thought they just tracked women down to increase the endangered population." Ryoga said.
"Well I didn't say the women didn't get to enjoy themselves." Nabiki smiled. "Take you and me for example, I'm the brains, you're the brawn, I let you think you're in charge because it amuses me and because I know better, we fool around every now and then, we get along fine."
"Nabiki, I gave up any notion of being in charge five minutes into our trip when you forced me, under threat of tears to give you the map." Ryoga remembered vaguely–for he'd been trying to forget–how he'd scoffed and said 'So you'll cry? Big deal!' and then in response Nabiki had begun to weep, then wail, begging him to think of the children and not hit her again. Of course he hadn't hit her, but the people in the general area didn't care, a crying woman's word weighed more than her shocked, embarrassed boyfriend's and if looks could kill Ryoga would have died a thousand deaths. (Men be warned, girls *will* do this x_x)
"Ah yes. It's good you know your place, my handsome servant." Nabiki smiled.
Ryoga shrugged "I may know my place today, tomorrow I'll probably get lost."
"Well . . . that's why your lucky you've got me on this little trip. If you were still pining for my sister you'd have died of starvation by now simply because you'd never have worked up the nerve to ask her to come with you. How did you ever survive without me?"
"Well my supplies and *funds* don't usually run out this quickly." Ryoga shrugged. "It's like there's five people traveling around with us."
"Yeah, yeah, we've talked about this before." Nabiki sighed. "It's not my fault if being a woman is more expensive than being a man."
"Somehow I don't think it is. I think you're just more expensive than normal women."
"You make it sound like I'm a hooker." Nabiki scoffed.
"I didn't mean it like that." Ryoga said. "You just ask for money whenever I have any, you talk sweet when you're broke, and you never leave my side, oh wait, I guess I did mean it like that."
"I haven't charged you for sex."
"But you come close to it, remember the other week when you saw those gloves you liked and you told me if I didn't buy them, despite the fact that I was broke, you'd sleep with the first guy to come along willing to pay for them?"
"Aww stop whining about that, I was just joking. Now are you going to spend all day staring off into the distance, or are you going to kiss me?"
"I can do both!" Ryoga cried defiantly.
"You have to close your eyes to kiss me." Nabiki observed.
"I don't *have* to." Ryoga scoffed.
"But you will." Nabiki said.
"I doubt it." Ryoga said. "We'll see."
"Do you want to bet on this?" Nabiki asked.
"Sure, why not? I've got nothing to lose."
"Then I've got nothing to gain." Nabiki scoffed.
"You get kissed." Ryoga pointed out.
"I'd be kissed anyway." Nabiki said, leaning against him now.
"Says who?" Ryoga asked, taking a step back.
"All right, I'll bet you close your eyes, if you do you have to pack up camp by yourself, if you don't I'll give you back some of the money I fleeced--uh, 'won' off you in cards last night."
"Y'know normal couples don't bet on hands of Old Maid." Ryoga noted.
"We're not like normal couples, honey."
"All right." Ryoga said. "I accept your challenge, one kiss, no eye closing. Hey, wait a second, what if I blink?"
"Too late!" Nabiki cried, lunging forward and kissing him.
He blinked almost right away. It wasn't like she ever did help him pack up camp anyway.
Ranma sat at the breakfast table across from his favorite, most beloved, most beautiful fiancee . . . no, not Shampoo . . . no, not Ukyo . . . that other one . . . what's her name? The one who yells a lot? Oh yeah, Akane.
He watched her closely, gazing at her short, dark hair, his heart yearned for her, to hold her in his arms, and spend forever basking in the sunlight of her love.
Or strangle her, whichever came first.
"Hey Ranma, do you think Nabiki will come back today?"
"I hope not." Ranma mumbled. "Wha? Oh! Uh . . . sure, she'll show up any time now, Akane." Ranma said. 'With my luck she's still with Ryoga.'
"I wonder what sort of places she and Ryoga have seen." Akane sighed.
"We can only wait 'n see." Ranma sighed. 'I really don't care though.' He decided.
"Do you think they'll be back in time for our wedding?" Akane asked.
"I know Nabiki wouldn't miss it for the world." Ranma said, it was true too, she wouldn't, because she'd be there to charge people for parking. "If they're gone *that* long they aren't coming back." he mentally added: 'And I'm just not that lucky.'
"I hope so . . ." Akane sighed.
Near the beginning of summer, Nabiki Tendo, Akane's older sister, had decided to sneak off to spend her vacation with Ranma's rival Ryoga, Ranma had never been happier! He didn't have Ryoga challenging him every week, and he didn't have Nabiki scamming him out of his every yen. Who cared why she'd gone? The two were engaged as part of some sort of scam, Ranma had forgotten about it a while ago.
Life was great! But then he'd gotten a letter of challenge from Ryoga. Ever since Akane was all excited about Nabiki coming home, and seemed to expect him to be excited about Ryoga showing up too.
But it'd never happen. Not in a million years. Never would he be happy to see Ryoga, ever!
Then Kasumi came in, escorted by a familiar face. Ranma threw himself at the rough looking boy, grabbed him in a bear hug and cried "Ahh! You come back buddy! I missed ya so-ho-ho much!"
"Please get him off of me!" Mousse exclaimed.
"Eh? You're not Ryoga!" Ranma scoffed.
"What was your first clue?" The male amazon scoffed.
"Gee Ranma, I guess you really miss Ryoga." Akane said.
"Shaddap." Ranma grouched.
"What are you doing here anyway, Mousse?" Akane asked.
"The ghoul sent me here with a letter for the assassin."
"We haven't seen her all week." Ranma said. In truth this had been an incredibly good week for him. Of course she usually came back around Sundays, and today was Sunday.
Mousse shrugged. "No matter. Would you mind telling the old ghoul that I delivered it successfully, if she asks?"
"Sure." Ranma shrugged.
"Any idea what it's about?" Kasumi frowned.
"I am not sure, Akane," Mousse admitted, mistaking Kasumi for Akane, "but I say it is probably another taunt, though she has never delivered them in writing before. All the same I suggest you tell the assassin to be careful." The strikingly attractive amazon boy shrugged.
That wasn't so unusual, Lotion and Cologne were bitter enemies, the younger woman seemed to hold some sort of childhood grudge against the elder amazon, something about being tied nude to a tree overnight, and locked in a cupboard for a week, Ranma didn't care enough to listen to the sob story. Cologne didn't seem sorry in the least for whatever injustice she'd committed against Lotion, insisting that the assassin was so stupid, and annoying, that her acts had been justified fully. Ranma agreed, Lotion was the second most annoying person he'd met.
Not quite so annoying as Kodachi of course, but close. Both had insane, maniacal laughs, they'd probably get on well.
"Wont you stay for tea?" Kasumi offered Mousse.
He squinted at her through his nearly useless glasses. "Ukyo? Oh no, I couldn't possibly stay, I must be going, the old ghoul wants those pigs Akari gave her to have baths, and you know Shampoo will not be the one to do it." He said. He waved, and left, knocking over a vase and a picture on his way out. The sad part was that this was a personal best for nearsighted Mousse.
Kasumi looked at the letter Mousse had delivered and shrugged. It was a piece of pulp paper rolled like a scroll, tied at the middle. "Do you suppose we could read this without her knowing we did?" Kasumi asked.
"Why bother? None of us understand Chinese, and it's just a taunt anyway, probably some mama jokes and a crack about her puny rack." Ranma scoffed.
"Crack about her rack? Jeez Ranma, did you stay up all night thinking that one up?" Akane scoffed.
"Nope, the funny just flows, baby." Ranma chuckled.
"The message feels urgent." Kasumi said. "Isn't it odd that Lotion hasn't been seen for a week, and now Mousse shows up telling her to watch her back?"
"You think something happened to her?" Akane asked. Ranma scoffed. He knew, for some strange reason Kasumi had grown attached to the assassin, but he tried to imagine how he'd feel if Lotion was hurt, or worse . . .
He couldn't get the image of himself dancing on a coffin while his favorite music played in the background, out of his mind. But he knew darn well he wasn't that lucky, Ryoga would probably kick the bucket before Lotion did . . . again, the image of himself dancing on a coffin, however this time Ranma wore black, out of respect for his rival.
The man sat at his desk, stroking the goatee that he was quite sure made him look like a stud.
"How does it look today?" The man demanded.
"It's looking well, everything is moving on schedule. The Tendo Training Hall wont know what hit them, we can attack on time." His apprentice said.
"That fool Tendo, he thinks that just having another son-in-law will stop us? He is in for a surprise." The man laughed maniacally.
"Yeah . . . about that . . . I've been an instructor here for about a year now . . . I still haven't seen my first pay check." The apprentice frowned.
The man massaged his temples. "Patience." He said.
"You've been saying that for nine months! I could have had a kid by now and I'd still be broke! I want my money!"
"Can we negotiate it? This attack is rather important."
"We'll be ready to attack in a couple days . . . you have until then to get me my money." The apprentice scowled.
"I'll see what I can do, my young apprentice." The master sighed.
"And stop calling me your apprentice! I've been an instructor here for a whole year!"
"Yeah, yeah. What do you want? A prize?"
"No, just a paycheck!"
"Shut up already," he scowled, "as you can see, I am building a house of cards here?"
The apprentice left, mumbling something about dropping him like a house of cards.
Akane sighed, and watched TV with Ranma and her dad. There wasn't a whole lot to do these days, Mousse wasn't challenging Ranma anymore, Ryoga wasn't around to do it, and they hadn't had any strange adventures lately.
Akane longed for something! Anything! "Life is so boring! I want some excitement!" She cried.
Then the wall caved in, the same wall that had been destroyed by ninjas back in the spring, dad screamed and ran over to an undamaged wall and promptly began slamming his head against it, the wall and it's repair had been quite an issue through the spring, an for part of the summer.
The cause of the problem was a young woman with a slight resemblance to Shampoo, except that her hair was silvery white, she was skinnier, and her breasts weren't quite as wonderfully large. "I have returned!" Lotion cried. "And I have brought dinner! It is very fresh! So fresh that we still have to kill it! Haha!" She cried.
"Wow . . . that's a big deer." Ranma said.
The skinny assassin was sitting atop the head of a bull Moose, six feet tall at the shoulders with antlers that you could probably set up a hammock on.
"Y'know, you really have to be careful what you wish for Akane." Kasumi sighed.
"Where did you get a moose?" Akane blinked.
"In Canada of course. I went there to look for the Male Servant."
Akane blinked, then remembered that was what Lotion called Ryoga. "In Canada?" Akane blinked again.
"Yes. I did not want to go back to China, I was unimpressed with America, I would not be able to stand the African heat, and if I went to Australia I would want to see the koalas, you know, I do not really believe they exist. In short I would have wasted my time the whole time. Sort of what I did in Canada actually, but I think I learned to speak Canadian."
"Uh . . . okay . . ." Kasumi frowned. "Why were you looking for Ryoga?"
"Only because I said that I would." She cried defensively. "I am not out to kill him or anything, there is no contract on his life if that is what you think! I figured I'd get around to looking for him as I said I would, before he found me and was angry and vengeful . . . so very vengeful."
Akane sighed. It was the strangest thing, she didn't want excitement anymore, she wanted things to be boring again. Dad was still trying to smash his head in.
Something had to be done, that moose had to go! "All right Ranma, go get him!" Akane said, shoving Ranma forward.
"Do what now?" Ranma asked, he dodged an enraged moose hoof, then lunged forward, attempting to attack . . . and the moose kissed him. "I have been violated!" He cried, falling to the ground and shaking.
"Yes . . . I would pity you if it were possible for me to feel that emotion. Well now someone must take gender switching servant to get a shot." Lotion said. "Or else it shall grow ill with moose love diseases."
"Y'know for some reason I'm *glad* I didn't understand a word of that." Ranma growled.
"I did!" Nodoka cried, appearing out of nowhere! "My son needs a shot! To the hospital, post haste! Don't worry, Soun darling, I'll be back for some fun later."
"NNNOOO!" Ranma cried, Akane didn't know if he was screaming because his mom just basically made an 'appointment' with her dad, or if he was screaming in fear of the shot. Either way, he had due cause for concern . . . maybe not a sissy scream, but concern at least was justified.
"NNNOOO!" Soun also cried as Panda Genma leapt out and mauled him. Akane wasn't sure if her father was screaming because he was being mauled by one of the so-called gentle animals of the wild, or because his best friend's wife had just informed him that they'd be . . . doing naughty things, which Soun wasn't completely comfortable with. Which was good, Akane would hold no respect for her father if he actually enjoyed committing adultery.
Sober.
Akane sighed, and slapped her forehead. Then she rubbed it, because she'd hurt herself. When she opened her eyes the moose was gone. "What the heck?"
"It shall return." Lotion said. "It knows where we live, it shall gather a great horde and return to do battle with us. When it does, we shall feast!"
"Where'd it go?" Akane asked.
Lotion shrugged and made a grunting sound "I 'uhhu."
"Too bad Ryoga isn't here . . . we could force him and Ranma to rebuild the wall."
"Yes, truly a shame. Well . . . I desire tea . . . tea and honey . . . much tea . . . and honey . . . just the right blend of them mind you, perhaps they will invent honey flavored tea one day, what is there to eat?" Lotion asked.
"Oh no young lady, no food for you until–GGRRAAHHHH–this wall is repaired!" Soun cried, rolling around with an enraged Genma Saotome.
"But it took many days to repair the last time!" She protested.
"Then let your hunger fuel you!" Soun cried.
Lotion threw a hammer at him, however it hit the still attacking panda square between the eyes. Soun stood up and laughed triumphantly.
"Before you start trying to rebuild the wall," Kasumi said, "I need to see you for a moment."
"Don't feed her." Soun warned.
"I wont." Kasumi assured him.
Akane sighed, and turned on the TV. "I sure wish Weeks of our Lives hadn't ended." She sighed. "Who'd have thought, in the end, Gray would have a sex change, and marry his greatest enemy, and who'd have suspected that in the end, all of those incredibly loose, sultry women would turn into a secret society, devoted to establishing sexual equality for dolphins and humming birds!" She sighed again.
Genma leapt up at father, and they rolled off towards the dojo.
There was a knock at the door . . . Akane went and answered it . . .
"Hey there!"
"NABIKI!" Akane cried, lunging forward.
"What? It's me, Ukyo! I came to see Ranma-honey."
"Oh . . . he went to the hospital." Akane shrugged.
"What? Is he okay? Tell me if he's okay Akane!" Ukyo cried.
"Oh sure, he just needs a blood test to make sure he hasn't got some sort of disease. See, he got frenched by a--"
"How could he? As if being engaged to someone like *you* wasn't bad enough!" Ukyo cried. She ran off for the hospital.
Akane sighed, and slammed the door. There was another knock, she opened it, "Greetings Akane Tendo!"
"NABIKI!" Akane cried, throwing her arms around the person. "You've been gone too long!"
"Why, Akane Tendo! I feel the same way, for even a moment away from you is like an eternity. I knew one day you would fall into my arms!" Kuno cried, Akane let go, punched Kuno into the sky, and slammed the door, she leaned against it, panting and locking every lock.
About ten minutes later, there was another knock at the door, Akane warily opened it.
"Oh . . . uh Nabiki?" Akane asked cautiously.
"Hmm? I thought you'd be more excited to see me." Nabiki said.
Akane blinked. The woman standing at the door looked a little different, her hair was a little longer, and she wore a worn pair of pants, and a simple T-shirt, and one of Ryoga's bandanna's around her neck like a scarf, hardly good fashion . . . but it was Nabiki! "Yay!" She cried, lunging forward, wrapping her arms around her older sister and crushing her. "I'm so happy to see you!"
"That's more like it. Oh, Ryoga is back too. But you don't have to say 'hi' to him." Nabiki said. "Fawn over me s'more!"
"You've been gone too long," Akane scolded, "we were afraid you'd never come home! We thought you'd just go straight to college and never see us again!"
"Uh . . . actually Akane . . . I'm not . . . er . . . well I'd never leave without telling you." Nabiki said nervously. "You . . . didn't rent my room out, did you?"
"Nope." Akane said.
"Good. I ask because I would have rented yours out to anyone willing to pay . . . I'm changing my cloths. Ryoga, do . . . whatever it is you do when I'm not around." Nabiki chuckled. "We'll talk later Akane, I promise."
Ryoga came inside with an apologetic look on his face. "I tried to get her back sooner, gosh how I tried to get her back sooner, but she kept leading me the wrong way, we only got back here by supreme coincidence. By the way, I think I saw a moose running around outside, is that normal now?"
Akane frowned. "Uh . . . not really . . . Hand Lotion brought it back for dinner, but it frenched Ranma, now he's going to get a shot."
Ryoga chuckled. "I should thank her . . . er . . . sorry."
"That's fine." Akane shrugged. She sort of liked the idea of cocky old Ranma being tied down for a shot. "So . . . what sort of stuff did you guys do? Where did you go? Who did you meet? How often did you get lost?"
"Uh . . . well we didn't really meet anyone, we spent a lot of time, uh . . . by ourselves. We looked at a couple foreign colleges, couldn't get anywhere near the really good ones because of security though. We did get to see some historical places, nothing special. Nabiki wants her face carved into a mountain now."
"That's Nabiki." Akane sighed.
"We were lost most of the time," Ryoga continued, "that is . . . I was. She always knew where we were going, she more or less led the way, claiming that it was my fault every time we ended up at a theme park, or a beach, or--once or twice--a cheap motel instead of the dojo or training ground I was aiming for. Actually we only got back because I recognized the area, and called a taxi." Ryoga scratched his chin, Akane noticed he sort of needed a shave, "To tell the truth, I didn't really mind too much. But every time I wanted to challenge Ranma, she wouldn't let me come back."
"Why not?" Akane frowned.
"I don't know." Ryoga shrugged.
Akane shook her head. "Well it's great to see you again, Ryoga. Thanks for taking care of my big sister."
"We took care of each other really." Ryoga said. "I couldn't ask for a better traveling companion."
"And just think, by this time next year you two will be husband and wife . . ." Akane sighed, romantically.
"Er . . . yeah, sure." Ryoga said.
Nabiki sighed, and threw herself onto her bed. She was home! She should be glad, but she wasn't. Ryoga had tried to convince her to come back for a while now, but she couldn't. She didn't want to face her family . . . she couldn't tell them . . .
She didn't dare tell them, it'd kill father, and she didn't want to do that until his will was worth something. She hadn't even told Ryoga, but she could tell he was starting to realize something was amiss.
"I have to tell them sooner or later." She decided. "Later is better than sooner of course." She sighed.
"Nabiki!" Kasumi cried, knocking on her door. Nabiki groaned and answered it. "You've come home!" Kasumi cried, hugging her, and nearly crushing every bone in her body. "I was so worried! I know you were traveling with Ryoga, but we all know how easily he gets lost! Oh Nabiki, I've missed you sssooooo much!"
"Th-thanks! N-now . . . AIR!!" Nabiki gasped. Kasumi let her go. "It's good to see you too." Nabiki noted.
"We've missed you." Kasumi smiled.
"You said that." The younger woman pointed out.
"Right. Well we really did. And we got letters from colleges all over the world!"
"Hmm? But I didn't apply to–"
"Of course you did! And you got many, many replies, most of them are printed on fancy, expensive envelopes, the one from Marvard is velvet!"
"Marvard? Velvet?" Nabiki blinked.
"Yes!" Kasumi said.
"But I didn't apply there!"
"Here, just take a look at your letters!" Kasumi said excitedly pointing at the pile of envelopes on Nabiki's desk.
"I thought something looked different." Nabiki frowned. She walked over and opened some of them, most were nameless business colleges, some art schools, even a technical institute or two. Then of course there were top name universities inviting her to join their distinguished student bodies, one thing Nabiki noticed was that each college was in another country, the United States mostly. "I just got back from the US, why would I want to go there now?"
"Well didn't you look at any of the colleges?"
"Well sure, but I–"
"And didn't you submit some college applications?"
"Not to these places." Nabiki scowled. "I submitted some applications a few months ago, before I went off on my . . . vacation." Nabiki said. "No to Marvard . . . I've never even heard of Marvard!"
"But they must be a good school, their envelopes are velvet and it smelled rather nice when it arrived, I imagine the scent has worn off by now." Kasumi said.
"That's great, I'm not even going to ask you why you were smelling my mail. Uh . . . Kasumi, I didn't want to tell you this until I had everyone together . . . but . . . I'm not *going* to college." Nabiki said.
Kasumi's smile didn't falter, but her eyes were wild with rage. "And . . . why is that?"
"I'm–"
"Pregnant, aren't you?! Father will DIE when he hears, how could you do this?" Kasumi cried.
"Oh it's easy, Kasumi! You see, first you spread your legs and–Hey! I'm not pregnant!" Nabiki scowled. 'At least I don't think so . . .' She thought.
"Oh? Well then . . . see that you stay that way." Kasumi warned. "Why aren't you going to college?"
"Well . . . I just decided I'd rather spend my time with Ryoga." Nabiki lied.
"If he . . . were dead . . . you'd go to college?" Kasumi asked hopefully.
"No, if he were dead I'd mourn for a year." Nabiki sighed.
"Curses!" Kasumi scowled. "He's a sly one, that Ryoga Hibiki!"
"I just sort of decided while I was out there with him . . . that I'd rather just be with him for the rest of my life, who needs four to six years of parties, casual sex and orgies, drinking binges, all of it leading up to a cushy job?" Nabiki shrugged. 'Actually, when I say it like that it sounds like I made the wrong decision.' she thought.
"You eloped!" Kasumi cried, holding her chest as if she'd had a heart attack, she fell to her knees.
"No, I didn't." Nabiki sighed, Kasumi recovered. "Look, stop overreacting, I–"
"Why not just go to college, and stay engaged like you were supposed to? Get married after college?"
"Because . . . ah . . . I don't want to . . ." Nabiki said. "It's not like I don't trust him . . . it's just . . . he's a man."
"How long do you think you can travel the world with him before you get bored with it? At least in college you'd learn some sort of skill you could use."
"I've got mad sex skills already." Nabiki scoffed. And that was about the only skill she could see herself learning from any of these second rate colleges she'd never heard of.
"Spit or swallow?" Kasumi demanded.
"Why are you so opposed to this?" Nabiki frowned, deciding not to even bother answering that question.
"Because I don't want to see you throw your life away. You're just eighteen, you've only lived a tenth of your life so far . . . wait . . . tenth? Eighteen . . . times ten . . . okay, you've lived–"
"I get the picture Kasumi."
"Right . . . well . . . what did Ryoga have to say?"
"I haven't told him yet." Nabiki admitted.
"Don't you think you should?" Kasumi asked. "It's all his fault after all."
"It is not!" Nabiki protested. "You're just mad because I hooked him before you could."
Kasumi laughed bitterly. "Not quite. Actually I'm just annoyed that you'd waste your potential just because of him. If he'd never shown up here trying to get revenge on Ranma you'd never have eventually met him, and never have eventually got around to remembering his name and inevitably you'd never have started dating him."
"What can I say? The boy's got his uses, and that's the truth . . . uh . . . what's with all that 'eventually' stuff?"
"It took you a couple weeks to notice that he wasn't Ranma, when introduced to one another you both just sort of grunted dismissingly."
"Well I didn't care back then!" Nabiki said defensively.
"Nabiki . . . while we're on the subject of 'news' I've got some for you . . ." Kasumi said.
"What's that?"
"I've just talked to Lotion . . . and she's agreed . . . to . . ."
"To what?'
"Well, Lotion and I are going to–"
"OH MY GOSH!!! NOT THIS!!! NOT HERE!!! NNNNOOOO!!!" Ryoga shouted from downstairs.
About a minute and a half earlier...
"So where else did you guys go?" Akane asked.
"Lot's of places," Ryoga shrugged, "we checked out colleges of course, she didn't really seem too interested. We got to go to this place with bright lights and stuff and a lot of gambling, she got work at a black jack table, I couldn't get her away from the place."
"You let my sister work at a black jack table? In a place that sounds suspiciously like Las Vegas?" Akane's eye twitched.
"Uh . . ." Ryoga scratched his head, "I didn't really see it being a problem, I mean she made more money that week than we started the trip with, and she seemed really happy while we were there, I'm not even sure why she agreed to leave."
"She probably had a run in with the law, or the mob, had to flee the area before they came down on her and arrested her, or whacked her." Lotion noted. "I met a mobster once, very nice fellow. He did not like italian food though, I think maybe he was new to the whole business. He said he had some business to do down in Vegas, I bet they've got quite an enterprise set up there. Nabiki probably started running numbers for them. Maybe she was one of their call girls."
Ryoga massaged his forehead, but Akane looked simply horrified. "You let my sister become some mobster's call girl!?"
"No . . . I mean . . . I . . . don't think so . . ." Ryoga scratched his head.
Akane was not appeased, Ryoga decided to back away slowly, and avoid any direct eye contact. It was working when there was suddenly a knock on the door, saving him. "I'll . . . get . . . it . . ." He offered, remembering to avoid direct eye contact.
He quickly escaped Akane's immediate reach, and answered the door. "Oh . . . hi, Tendo Training Hall, challengers please use back entrance, have a nice day." Ryoga said, doing his best impersonation of Kasumi, answering the door with a smile and his eyes closed.
"Ryoga! Don't just send our guest away!" Akane cried
"Very bad manners!" Lotion agreed, she threw something at him, it hit him in the back of the head . . . it felt sort of like a brick.
Ryoga shook his head to clear it. He looked at the person standing outside . . . strangely familiar.
She was accompanied by a pink ninja, but Ryoga didn't care about that. She had long, raven hair, pretty brown eyes hiding behind silver framed oval lenses, a perfect, innocent face, a dazzling white smile, and a look of pure, uncontrolled joy.
"C-could you be? Are you . . . Ryoga Hibiki?" She asked shyly.
"OH MY GOSH!!! NOT THIS!!! NOT HERE!!! NNNNOOOO!!!"
"Oh Ryoga! My Ryoga darling!" Yoshimi cried. "I knew it was you, you haven't changed . . . well you're taller and stronger of course! Oh Ryoga!"
"Anyone but you! Anything but you!" Ryoga pleaded.
"Settle down, Ryoga. Who are you?" Akane asked.
"Why, I am Yoshimi Harume, age seventeen and three quarters, daughter of Kotaro Harume." Yoshimi bowed to Akane, then turned to Ryoga. "Didn't you tell them about me, my dear?"
"Actually, until about four months ago, I blissfully forgot you existed." Ryoga grumbled.
"Ryoga! That's not nice!" Akane said.
"Oh my silly darling, you're just kidding, right?"
"Of course he is, he's told us all sorts of things about you." Akane said.
'No! Don't be nice to her! She's the enemy!' Ryoga thought.
To Be Continued . . .
For the CW Veterans: Yoshimi has finally entered the scene, learn more about her, find out what is in Lotion's message, and see The Battle of the Moose unfold int Part II: "The Boy who Cried MOOSE!"
For the New Guys/Girls it's . . .
GrimmZ's Original Character Dictionary (makes women's mouths water)
Subjects: Kotaro Harume & Han Lo-Chun.
Kotaro Harume is an international multi-billionaire with a small army of pink ninja body guards who will kill one another just for the chance to bring him his phone. He doesn't really like his daughter, Yoshimi. He, like Ryoga, doesn't really give any specific reason, but he's certainly willing to take a trip to Italy (not that there's anything wrong with Italy) to avoid being in the same area as her. Kotaro only wants his daughter to marry Ryoga so they can wander all over the place and never bother him again, he fails to realize that Ryoga eventually does end up here he was originally headed.
Han Lo-Chun (Hand Lotion) is an amazon from Shampoo's village, with a very sad childhood that she likes to bring up on occasion. She claims to be a feared warrior/assassin, and Cologne did recommend her to Akari, but her fighting skills don't really back up her boasts. Most of the Ranma crew don't care for her, but some will tolerate her. She was hired to kill Akane, but she failed miserably. We're not sure what she's still doing in this story.
Not For Children . . .
If you're a kid . . . and you're reading this . . . STOP!
This story is for older, more mature people, (mind you kids can be plenty mature, but I'm using the grown up meaning of the word, which translates to: Over 18) it is filled with grown-up innuendo, adult situations and such, and now you (or your child if you're a marauding parent) have been warned, I shouldn't have to fill this, or any other story with the dreaded 'curse words' to make you realize that it isnt child-safe.
Charlotte's Sequel
Chapter I
We're Back, Yo!
Ryoga Hibiki woke up, stretched, and looked around. Another beautiful day in . . . well, wherever they were. Nabiki claimed that they were headed for the Tendo Training Hall, Ryoga didn't recognize any of the terrain though. He didn't dare suggest that she'd gotten lost. Not to her face anyway, and if he wasn't saying it to her face there just wasn't much point to saying it since she was the only person he'd seen for the past week.
He was getting the feeling that she preferred seclusion, though he'd never figured her being anti-social before. Really she was always such a people person . . . in her way.
They'd actually been surviving off of money she'd scammed from people, Ryoga had tried time and time again to convince her not to take other people's money, on one occasion it had led to a *serious* conflict. But in the end he gave up and let her have her way, it seemed to please her so much to count her 'winnings'.
He hadn't really taken many jobs on the road, since he had to stay in one place to be able to hold a normal job, there just weren't many places that handed out salaries daily, who knew?
He took a deep breath, breathing in the forest/swamp/wherever air, relaxing. From the tent came the sounds that usually meant Nabiki was awake. The sound of someone rolling around in a sleeping bag, the scream at whatever had gotten into her hair over the last night, and of course her actual appearance a few moments later. Upon her wake, Nabiki Tendo, a person possessed by the soul of an ancient Chinese goddess looked more like a normal mortal: her hair was messy, somehow she'd managed to get a twig in it–though there were no sticks in the tent–her image of perfection was gone, with the exception of the light of intelligence in her eyes.
Ryoga smiled at her, "Where'd this come from?" He asked, taking the twig out of her hair.
"Good question. Probably from rolling around with my boyfriend after you went to sleep."
"Who is this boyfriend you speak of? We're the only ones out here, and we didn't do anything last night." Ryoga said, raising his eyebrows in mock confusion.
"Yeah honey, I said 'boyfriend' not 'fiancee' I only fool around with you on days that don't start with a T or an S."
"Monday, Wednesday, Friday . . . Huh? Hey, that's true!" Ryoga realized. "You've got a schedule?"
"Of course." Nabiki said. "All women have them, sweety, it's a recipe for success. That's why in all the best post-apocalyptic movies, if the world wasn't conquered by women, the strongest tribe is the one with the most women."
"I thought they just tracked women down to increase the endangered population." Ryoga said.
"Well I didn't say the women didn't get to enjoy themselves." Nabiki smiled. "Take you and me for example, I'm the brains, you're the brawn, I let you think you're in charge because it amuses me and because I know better, we fool around every now and then, we get along fine."
"Nabiki, I gave up any notion of being in charge five minutes into our trip when you forced me, under threat of tears to give you the map." Ryoga remembered vaguely–for he'd been trying to forget–how he'd scoffed and said 'So you'll cry? Big deal!' and then in response Nabiki had begun to weep, then wail, begging him to think of the children and not hit her again. Of course he hadn't hit her, but the people in the general area didn't care, a crying woman's word weighed more than her shocked, embarrassed boyfriend's and if looks could kill Ryoga would have died a thousand deaths. (Men be warned, girls *will* do this x_x)
"Ah yes. It's good you know your place, my handsome servant." Nabiki smiled.
Ryoga shrugged "I may know my place today, tomorrow I'll probably get lost."
"Well . . . that's why your lucky you've got me on this little trip. If you were still pining for my sister you'd have died of starvation by now simply because you'd never have worked up the nerve to ask her to come with you. How did you ever survive without me?"
"Well my supplies and *funds* don't usually run out this quickly." Ryoga shrugged. "It's like there's five people traveling around with us."
"Yeah, yeah, we've talked about this before." Nabiki sighed. "It's not my fault if being a woman is more expensive than being a man."
"Somehow I don't think it is. I think you're just more expensive than normal women."
"You make it sound like I'm a hooker." Nabiki scoffed.
"I didn't mean it like that." Ryoga said. "You just ask for money whenever I have any, you talk sweet when you're broke, and you never leave my side, oh wait, I guess I did mean it like that."
"I haven't charged you for sex."
"But you come close to it, remember the other week when you saw those gloves you liked and you told me if I didn't buy them, despite the fact that I was broke, you'd sleep with the first guy to come along willing to pay for them?"
"Aww stop whining about that, I was just joking. Now are you going to spend all day staring off into the distance, or are you going to kiss me?"
"I can do both!" Ryoga cried defiantly.
"You have to close your eyes to kiss me." Nabiki observed.
"I don't *have* to." Ryoga scoffed.
"But you will." Nabiki said.
"I doubt it." Ryoga said. "We'll see."
"Do you want to bet on this?" Nabiki asked.
"Sure, why not? I've got nothing to lose."
"Then I've got nothing to gain." Nabiki scoffed.
"You get kissed." Ryoga pointed out.
"I'd be kissed anyway." Nabiki said, leaning against him now.
"Says who?" Ryoga asked, taking a step back.
"All right, I'll bet you close your eyes, if you do you have to pack up camp by yourself, if you don't I'll give you back some of the money I fleeced--uh, 'won' off you in cards last night."
"Y'know normal couples don't bet on hands of Old Maid." Ryoga noted.
"We're not like normal couples, honey."
"All right." Ryoga said. "I accept your challenge, one kiss, no eye closing. Hey, wait a second, what if I blink?"
"Too late!" Nabiki cried, lunging forward and kissing him.
He blinked almost right away. It wasn't like she ever did help him pack up camp anyway.
Ranma sat at the breakfast table across from his favorite, most beloved, most beautiful fiancee . . . no, not Shampoo . . . no, not Ukyo . . . that other one . . . what's her name? The one who yells a lot? Oh yeah, Akane.
He watched her closely, gazing at her short, dark hair, his heart yearned for her, to hold her in his arms, and spend forever basking in the sunlight of her love.
Or strangle her, whichever came first.
"Hey Ranma, do you think Nabiki will come back today?"
"I hope not." Ranma mumbled. "Wha? Oh! Uh . . . sure, she'll show up any time now, Akane." Ranma said. 'With my luck she's still with Ryoga.'
"I wonder what sort of places she and Ryoga have seen." Akane sighed.
"We can only wait 'n see." Ranma sighed. 'I really don't care though.' He decided.
"Do you think they'll be back in time for our wedding?" Akane asked.
"I know Nabiki wouldn't miss it for the world." Ranma said, it was true too, she wouldn't, because she'd be there to charge people for parking. "If they're gone *that* long they aren't coming back." he mentally added: 'And I'm just not that lucky.'
"I hope so . . ." Akane sighed.
Near the beginning of summer, Nabiki Tendo, Akane's older sister, had decided to sneak off to spend her vacation with Ranma's rival Ryoga, Ranma had never been happier! He didn't have Ryoga challenging him every week, and he didn't have Nabiki scamming him out of his every yen. Who cared why she'd gone? The two were engaged as part of some sort of scam, Ranma had forgotten about it a while ago.
Life was great! But then he'd gotten a letter of challenge from Ryoga. Ever since Akane was all excited about Nabiki coming home, and seemed to expect him to be excited about Ryoga showing up too.
But it'd never happen. Not in a million years. Never would he be happy to see Ryoga, ever!
Then Kasumi came in, escorted by a familiar face. Ranma threw himself at the rough looking boy, grabbed him in a bear hug and cried "Ahh! You come back buddy! I missed ya so-ho-ho much!"
"Please get him off of me!" Mousse exclaimed.
"Eh? You're not Ryoga!" Ranma scoffed.
"What was your first clue?" The male amazon scoffed.
"Gee Ranma, I guess you really miss Ryoga." Akane said.
"Shaddap." Ranma grouched.
"What are you doing here anyway, Mousse?" Akane asked.
"The ghoul sent me here with a letter for the assassin."
"We haven't seen her all week." Ranma said. In truth this had been an incredibly good week for him. Of course she usually came back around Sundays, and today was Sunday.
Mousse shrugged. "No matter. Would you mind telling the old ghoul that I delivered it successfully, if she asks?"
"Sure." Ranma shrugged.
"Any idea what it's about?" Kasumi frowned.
"I am not sure, Akane," Mousse admitted, mistaking Kasumi for Akane, "but I say it is probably another taunt, though she has never delivered them in writing before. All the same I suggest you tell the assassin to be careful." The strikingly attractive amazon boy shrugged.
That wasn't so unusual, Lotion and Cologne were bitter enemies, the younger woman seemed to hold some sort of childhood grudge against the elder amazon, something about being tied nude to a tree overnight, and locked in a cupboard for a week, Ranma didn't care enough to listen to the sob story. Cologne didn't seem sorry in the least for whatever injustice she'd committed against Lotion, insisting that the assassin was so stupid, and annoying, that her acts had been justified fully. Ranma agreed, Lotion was the second most annoying person he'd met.
Not quite so annoying as Kodachi of course, but close. Both had insane, maniacal laughs, they'd probably get on well.
"Wont you stay for tea?" Kasumi offered Mousse.
He squinted at her through his nearly useless glasses. "Ukyo? Oh no, I couldn't possibly stay, I must be going, the old ghoul wants those pigs Akari gave her to have baths, and you know Shampoo will not be the one to do it." He said. He waved, and left, knocking over a vase and a picture on his way out. The sad part was that this was a personal best for nearsighted Mousse.
Kasumi looked at the letter Mousse had delivered and shrugged. It was a piece of pulp paper rolled like a scroll, tied at the middle. "Do you suppose we could read this without her knowing we did?" Kasumi asked.
"Why bother? None of us understand Chinese, and it's just a taunt anyway, probably some mama jokes and a crack about her puny rack." Ranma scoffed.
"Crack about her rack? Jeez Ranma, did you stay up all night thinking that one up?" Akane scoffed.
"Nope, the funny just flows, baby." Ranma chuckled.
"The message feels urgent." Kasumi said. "Isn't it odd that Lotion hasn't been seen for a week, and now Mousse shows up telling her to watch her back?"
"You think something happened to her?" Akane asked. Ranma scoffed. He knew, for some strange reason Kasumi had grown attached to the assassin, but he tried to imagine how he'd feel if Lotion was hurt, or worse . . .
He couldn't get the image of himself dancing on a coffin while his favorite music played in the background, out of his mind. But he knew darn well he wasn't that lucky, Ryoga would probably kick the bucket before Lotion did . . . again, the image of himself dancing on a coffin, however this time Ranma wore black, out of respect for his rival.
The man sat at his desk, stroking the goatee that he was quite sure made him look like a stud.
"How does it look today?" The man demanded.
"It's looking well, everything is moving on schedule. The Tendo Training Hall wont know what hit them, we can attack on time." His apprentice said.
"That fool Tendo, he thinks that just having another son-in-law will stop us? He is in for a surprise." The man laughed maniacally.
"Yeah . . . about that . . . I've been an instructor here for about a year now . . . I still haven't seen my first pay check." The apprentice frowned.
The man massaged his temples. "Patience." He said.
"You've been saying that for nine months! I could have had a kid by now and I'd still be broke! I want my money!"
"Can we negotiate it? This attack is rather important."
"We'll be ready to attack in a couple days . . . you have until then to get me my money." The apprentice scowled.
"I'll see what I can do, my young apprentice." The master sighed.
"And stop calling me your apprentice! I've been an instructor here for a whole year!"
"Yeah, yeah. What do you want? A prize?"
"No, just a paycheck!"
"Shut up already," he scowled, "as you can see, I am building a house of cards here?"
The apprentice left, mumbling something about dropping him like a house of cards.
Akane sighed, and watched TV with Ranma and her dad. There wasn't a whole lot to do these days, Mousse wasn't challenging Ranma anymore, Ryoga wasn't around to do it, and they hadn't had any strange adventures lately.
Akane longed for something! Anything! "Life is so boring! I want some excitement!" She cried.
Then the wall caved in, the same wall that had been destroyed by ninjas back in the spring, dad screamed and ran over to an undamaged wall and promptly began slamming his head against it, the wall and it's repair had been quite an issue through the spring, an for part of the summer.
The cause of the problem was a young woman with a slight resemblance to Shampoo, except that her hair was silvery white, she was skinnier, and her breasts weren't quite as wonderfully large. "I have returned!" Lotion cried. "And I have brought dinner! It is very fresh! So fresh that we still have to kill it! Haha!" She cried.
"Wow . . . that's a big deer." Ranma said.
The skinny assassin was sitting atop the head of a bull Moose, six feet tall at the shoulders with antlers that you could probably set up a hammock on.
"Y'know, you really have to be careful what you wish for Akane." Kasumi sighed.
"Where did you get a moose?" Akane blinked.
"In Canada of course. I went there to look for the Male Servant."
Akane blinked, then remembered that was what Lotion called Ryoga. "In Canada?" Akane blinked again.
"Yes. I did not want to go back to China, I was unimpressed with America, I would not be able to stand the African heat, and if I went to Australia I would want to see the koalas, you know, I do not really believe they exist. In short I would have wasted my time the whole time. Sort of what I did in Canada actually, but I think I learned to speak Canadian."
"Uh . . . okay . . ." Kasumi frowned. "Why were you looking for Ryoga?"
"Only because I said that I would." She cried defensively. "I am not out to kill him or anything, there is no contract on his life if that is what you think! I figured I'd get around to looking for him as I said I would, before he found me and was angry and vengeful . . . so very vengeful."
Akane sighed. It was the strangest thing, she didn't want excitement anymore, she wanted things to be boring again. Dad was still trying to smash his head in.
Something had to be done, that moose had to go! "All right Ranma, go get him!" Akane said, shoving Ranma forward.
"Do what now?" Ranma asked, he dodged an enraged moose hoof, then lunged forward, attempting to attack . . . and the moose kissed him. "I have been violated!" He cried, falling to the ground and shaking.
"Yes . . . I would pity you if it were possible for me to feel that emotion. Well now someone must take gender switching servant to get a shot." Lotion said. "Or else it shall grow ill with moose love diseases."
"Y'know for some reason I'm *glad* I didn't understand a word of that." Ranma growled.
"I did!" Nodoka cried, appearing out of nowhere! "My son needs a shot! To the hospital, post haste! Don't worry, Soun darling, I'll be back for some fun later."
"NNNOOO!" Ranma cried, Akane didn't know if he was screaming because his mom just basically made an 'appointment' with her dad, or if he was screaming in fear of the shot. Either way, he had due cause for concern . . . maybe not a sissy scream, but concern at least was justified.
"NNNOOO!" Soun also cried as Panda Genma leapt out and mauled him. Akane wasn't sure if her father was screaming because he was being mauled by one of the so-called gentle animals of the wild, or because his best friend's wife had just informed him that they'd be . . . doing naughty things, which Soun wasn't completely comfortable with. Which was good, Akane would hold no respect for her father if he actually enjoyed committing adultery.
Sober.
Akane sighed, and slapped her forehead. Then she rubbed it, because she'd hurt herself. When she opened her eyes the moose was gone. "What the heck?"
"It shall return." Lotion said. "It knows where we live, it shall gather a great horde and return to do battle with us. When it does, we shall feast!"
"Where'd it go?" Akane asked.
Lotion shrugged and made a grunting sound "I 'uhhu."
"Too bad Ryoga isn't here . . . we could force him and Ranma to rebuild the wall."
"Yes, truly a shame. Well . . . I desire tea . . . tea and honey . . . much tea . . . and honey . . . just the right blend of them mind you, perhaps they will invent honey flavored tea one day, what is there to eat?" Lotion asked.
"Oh no young lady, no food for you until–GGRRAAHHHH–this wall is repaired!" Soun cried, rolling around with an enraged Genma Saotome.
"But it took many days to repair the last time!" She protested.
"Then let your hunger fuel you!" Soun cried.
Lotion threw a hammer at him, however it hit the still attacking panda square between the eyes. Soun stood up and laughed triumphantly.
"Before you start trying to rebuild the wall," Kasumi said, "I need to see you for a moment."
"Don't feed her." Soun warned.
"I wont." Kasumi assured him.
Akane sighed, and turned on the TV. "I sure wish Weeks of our Lives hadn't ended." She sighed. "Who'd have thought, in the end, Gray would have a sex change, and marry his greatest enemy, and who'd have suspected that in the end, all of those incredibly loose, sultry women would turn into a secret society, devoted to establishing sexual equality for dolphins and humming birds!" She sighed again.
Genma leapt up at father, and they rolled off towards the dojo.
There was a knock at the door . . . Akane went and answered it . . .
"Hey there!"
"NABIKI!" Akane cried, lunging forward.
"What? It's me, Ukyo! I came to see Ranma-honey."
"Oh . . . he went to the hospital." Akane shrugged.
"What? Is he okay? Tell me if he's okay Akane!" Ukyo cried.
"Oh sure, he just needs a blood test to make sure he hasn't got some sort of disease. See, he got frenched by a--"
"How could he? As if being engaged to someone like *you* wasn't bad enough!" Ukyo cried. She ran off for the hospital.
Akane sighed, and slammed the door. There was another knock, she opened it, "Greetings Akane Tendo!"
"NABIKI!" Akane cried, throwing her arms around the person. "You've been gone too long!"
"Why, Akane Tendo! I feel the same way, for even a moment away from you is like an eternity. I knew one day you would fall into my arms!" Kuno cried, Akane let go, punched Kuno into the sky, and slammed the door, she leaned against it, panting and locking every lock.
About ten minutes later, there was another knock at the door, Akane warily opened it.
"Oh . . . uh Nabiki?" Akane asked cautiously.
"Hmm? I thought you'd be more excited to see me." Nabiki said.
Akane blinked. The woman standing at the door looked a little different, her hair was a little longer, and she wore a worn pair of pants, and a simple T-shirt, and one of Ryoga's bandanna's around her neck like a scarf, hardly good fashion . . . but it was Nabiki! "Yay!" She cried, lunging forward, wrapping her arms around her older sister and crushing her. "I'm so happy to see you!"
"That's more like it. Oh, Ryoga is back too. But you don't have to say 'hi' to him." Nabiki said. "Fawn over me s'more!"
"You've been gone too long," Akane scolded, "we were afraid you'd never come home! We thought you'd just go straight to college and never see us again!"
"Uh . . . actually Akane . . . I'm not . . . er . . . well I'd never leave without telling you." Nabiki said nervously. "You . . . didn't rent my room out, did you?"
"Nope." Akane said.
"Good. I ask because I would have rented yours out to anyone willing to pay . . . I'm changing my cloths. Ryoga, do . . . whatever it is you do when I'm not around." Nabiki chuckled. "We'll talk later Akane, I promise."
Ryoga came inside with an apologetic look on his face. "I tried to get her back sooner, gosh how I tried to get her back sooner, but she kept leading me the wrong way, we only got back here by supreme coincidence. By the way, I think I saw a moose running around outside, is that normal now?"
Akane frowned. "Uh . . . not really . . . Hand Lotion brought it back for dinner, but it frenched Ranma, now he's going to get a shot."
Ryoga chuckled. "I should thank her . . . er . . . sorry."
"That's fine." Akane shrugged. She sort of liked the idea of cocky old Ranma being tied down for a shot. "So . . . what sort of stuff did you guys do? Where did you go? Who did you meet? How often did you get lost?"
"Uh . . . well we didn't really meet anyone, we spent a lot of time, uh . . . by ourselves. We looked at a couple foreign colleges, couldn't get anywhere near the really good ones because of security though. We did get to see some historical places, nothing special. Nabiki wants her face carved into a mountain now."
"That's Nabiki." Akane sighed.
"We were lost most of the time," Ryoga continued, "that is . . . I was. She always knew where we were going, she more or less led the way, claiming that it was my fault every time we ended up at a theme park, or a beach, or--once or twice--a cheap motel instead of the dojo or training ground I was aiming for. Actually we only got back because I recognized the area, and called a taxi." Ryoga scratched his chin, Akane noticed he sort of needed a shave, "To tell the truth, I didn't really mind too much. But every time I wanted to challenge Ranma, she wouldn't let me come back."
"Why not?" Akane frowned.
"I don't know." Ryoga shrugged.
Akane shook her head. "Well it's great to see you again, Ryoga. Thanks for taking care of my big sister."
"We took care of each other really." Ryoga said. "I couldn't ask for a better traveling companion."
"And just think, by this time next year you two will be husband and wife . . ." Akane sighed, romantically.
"Er . . . yeah, sure." Ryoga said.
Nabiki sighed, and threw herself onto her bed. She was home! She should be glad, but she wasn't. Ryoga had tried to convince her to come back for a while now, but she couldn't. She didn't want to face her family . . . she couldn't tell them . . .
She didn't dare tell them, it'd kill father, and she didn't want to do that until his will was worth something. She hadn't even told Ryoga, but she could tell he was starting to realize something was amiss.
"I have to tell them sooner or later." She decided. "Later is better than sooner of course." She sighed.
"Nabiki!" Kasumi cried, knocking on her door. Nabiki groaned and answered it. "You've come home!" Kasumi cried, hugging her, and nearly crushing every bone in her body. "I was so worried! I know you were traveling with Ryoga, but we all know how easily he gets lost! Oh Nabiki, I've missed you sssooooo much!"
"Th-thanks! N-now . . . AIR!!" Nabiki gasped. Kasumi let her go. "It's good to see you too." Nabiki noted.
"We've missed you." Kasumi smiled.
"You said that." The younger woman pointed out.
"Right. Well we really did. And we got letters from colleges all over the world!"
"Hmm? But I didn't apply to–"
"Of course you did! And you got many, many replies, most of them are printed on fancy, expensive envelopes, the one from Marvard is velvet!"
"Marvard? Velvet?" Nabiki blinked.
"Yes!" Kasumi said.
"But I didn't apply there!"
"Here, just take a look at your letters!" Kasumi said excitedly pointing at the pile of envelopes on Nabiki's desk.
"I thought something looked different." Nabiki frowned. She walked over and opened some of them, most were nameless business colleges, some art schools, even a technical institute or two. Then of course there were top name universities inviting her to join their distinguished student bodies, one thing Nabiki noticed was that each college was in another country, the United States mostly. "I just got back from the US, why would I want to go there now?"
"Well didn't you look at any of the colleges?"
"Well sure, but I–"
"And didn't you submit some college applications?"
"Not to these places." Nabiki scowled. "I submitted some applications a few months ago, before I went off on my . . . vacation." Nabiki said. "No to Marvard . . . I've never even heard of Marvard!"
"But they must be a good school, their envelopes are velvet and it smelled rather nice when it arrived, I imagine the scent has worn off by now." Kasumi said.
"That's great, I'm not even going to ask you why you were smelling my mail. Uh . . . Kasumi, I didn't want to tell you this until I had everyone together . . . but . . . I'm not *going* to college." Nabiki said.
Kasumi's smile didn't falter, but her eyes were wild with rage. "And . . . why is that?"
"I'm–"
"Pregnant, aren't you?! Father will DIE when he hears, how could you do this?" Kasumi cried.
"Oh it's easy, Kasumi! You see, first you spread your legs and–Hey! I'm not pregnant!" Nabiki scowled. 'At least I don't think so . . .' She thought.
"Oh? Well then . . . see that you stay that way." Kasumi warned. "Why aren't you going to college?"
"Well . . . I just decided I'd rather spend my time with Ryoga." Nabiki lied.
"If he . . . were dead . . . you'd go to college?" Kasumi asked hopefully.
"No, if he were dead I'd mourn for a year." Nabiki sighed.
"Curses!" Kasumi scowled. "He's a sly one, that Ryoga Hibiki!"
"I just sort of decided while I was out there with him . . . that I'd rather just be with him for the rest of my life, who needs four to six years of parties, casual sex and orgies, drinking binges, all of it leading up to a cushy job?" Nabiki shrugged. 'Actually, when I say it like that it sounds like I made the wrong decision.' she thought.
"You eloped!" Kasumi cried, holding her chest as if she'd had a heart attack, she fell to her knees.
"No, I didn't." Nabiki sighed, Kasumi recovered. "Look, stop overreacting, I–"
"Why not just go to college, and stay engaged like you were supposed to? Get married after college?"
"Because . . . ah . . . I don't want to . . ." Nabiki said. "It's not like I don't trust him . . . it's just . . . he's a man."
"How long do you think you can travel the world with him before you get bored with it? At least in college you'd learn some sort of skill you could use."
"I've got mad sex skills already." Nabiki scoffed. And that was about the only skill she could see herself learning from any of these second rate colleges she'd never heard of.
"Spit or swallow?" Kasumi demanded.
"Why are you so opposed to this?" Nabiki frowned, deciding not to even bother answering that question.
"Because I don't want to see you throw your life away. You're just eighteen, you've only lived a tenth of your life so far . . . wait . . . tenth? Eighteen . . . times ten . . . okay, you've lived–"
"I get the picture Kasumi."
"Right . . . well . . . what did Ryoga have to say?"
"I haven't told him yet." Nabiki admitted.
"Don't you think you should?" Kasumi asked. "It's all his fault after all."
"It is not!" Nabiki protested. "You're just mad because I hooked him before you could."
Kasumi laughed bitterly. "Not quite. Actually I'm just annoyed that you'd waste your potential just because of him. If he'd never shown up here trying to get revenge on Ranma you'd never have eventually met him, and never have eventually got around to remembering his name and inevitably you'd never have started dating him."
"What can I say? The boy's got his uses, and that's the truth . . . uh . . . what's with all that 'eventually' stuff?"
"It took you a couple weeks to notice that he wasn't Ranma, when introduced to one another you both just sort of grunted dismissingly."
"Well I didn't care back then!" Nabiki said defensively.
"Nabiki . . . while we're on the subject of 'news' I've got some for you . . ." Kasumi said.
"What's that?"
"I've just talked to Lotion . . . and she's agreed . . . to . . ."
"To what?'
"Well, Lotion and I are going to–"
"OH MY GOSH!!! NOT THIS!!! NOT HERE!!! NNNNOOOO!!!" Ryoga shouted from downstairs.
About a minute and a half earlier...
"So where else did you guys go?" Akane asked.
"Lot's of places," Ryoga shrugged, "we checked out colleges of course, she didn't really seem too interested. We got to go to this place with bright lights and stuff and a lot of gambling, she got work at a black jack table, I couldn't get her away from the place."
"You let my sister work at a black jack table? In a place that sounds suspiciously like Las Vegas?" Akane's eye twitched.
"Uh . . ." Ryoga scratched his head, "I didn't really see it being a problem, I mean she made more money that week than we started the trip with, and she seemed really happy while we were there, I'm not even sure why she agreed to leave."
"She probably had a run in with the law, or the mob, had to flee the area before they came down on her and arrested her, or whacked her." Lotion noted. "I met a mobster once, very nice fellow. He did not like italian food though, I think maybe he was new to the whole business. He said he had some business to do down in Vegas, I bet they've got quite an enterprise set up there. Nabiki probably started running numbers for them. Maybe she was one of their call girls."
Ryoga massaged his forehead, but Akane looked simply horrified. "You let my sister become some mobster's call girl!?"
"No . . . I mean . . . I . . . don't think so . . ." Ryoga scratched his head.
Akane was not appeased, Ryoga decided to back away slowly, and avoid any direct eye contact. It was working when there was suddenly a knock on the door, saving him. "I'll . . . get . . . it . . ." He offered, remembering to avoid direct eye contact.
He quickly escaped Akane's immediate reach, and answered the door. "Oh . . . hi, Tendo Training Hall, challengers please use back entrance, have a nice day." Ryoga said, doing his best impersonation of Kasumi, answering the door with a smile and his eyes closed.
"Ryoga! Don't just send our guest away!" Akane cried
"Very bad manners!" Lotion agreed, she threw something at him, it hit him in the back of the head . . . it felt sort of like a brick.
Ryoga shook his head to clear it. He looked at the person standing outside . . . strangely familiar.
She was accompanied by a pink ninja, but Ryoga didn't care about that. She had long, raven hair, pretty brown eyes hiding behind silver framed oval lenses, a perfect, innocent face, a dazzling white smile, and a look of pure, uncontrolled joy.
"C-could you be? Are you . . . Ryoga Hibiki?" She asked shyly.
"OH MY GOSH!!! NOT THIS!!! NOT HERE!!! NNNNOOOO!!!"
"Oh Ryoga! My Ryoga darling!" Yoshimi cried. "I knew it was you, you haven't changed . . . well you're taller and stronger of course! Oh Ryoga!"
"Anyone but you! Anything but you!" Ryoga pleaded.
"Settle down, Ryoga. Who are you?" Akane asked.
"Why, I am Yoshimi Harume, age seventeen and three quarters, daughter of Kotaro Harume." Yoshimi bowed to Akane, then turned to Ryoga. "Didn't you tell them about me, my dear?"
"Actually, until about four months ago, I blissfully forgot you existed." Ryoga grumbled.
"Ryoga! That's not nice!" Akane said.
"Oh my silly darling, you're just kidding, right?"
"Of course he is, he's told us all sorts of things about you." Akane said.
'No! Don't be nice to her! She's the enemy!' Ryoga thought.
To Be Continued . . .
For the CW Veterans: Yoshimi has finally entered the scene, learn more about her, find out what is in Lotion's message, and see The Battle of the Moose unfold int Part II: "The Boy who Cried MOOSE!"
For the New Guys/Girls it's . . .
GrimmZ's Original Character Dictionary (makes women's mouths water)
Subjects: Kotaro Harume & Han Lo-Chun.
Kotaro Harume is an international multi-billionaire with a small army of pink ninja body guards who will kill one another just for the chance to bring him his phone. He doesn't really like his daughter, Yoshimi. He, like Ryoga, doesn't really give any specific reason, but he's certainly willing to take a trip to Italy (not that there's anything wrong with Italy) to avoid being in the same area as her. Kotaro only wants his daughter to marry Ryoga so they can wander all over the place and never bother him again, he fails to realize that Ryoga eventually does end up here he was originally headed.
Han Lo-Chun (Hand Lotion) is an amazon from Shampoo's village, with a very sad childhood that she likes to bring up on occasion. She claims to be a feared warrior/assassin, and Cologne did recommend her to Akari, but her fighting skills don't really back up her boasts. Most of the Ranma crew don't care for her, but some will tolerate her. She was hired to kill Akane, but she failed miserably. We're not sure what she's still doing in this story.