Another Disastrous Date Ends

Kurt teleported into the room with Rogue and Jean. Earlier he had teleported with Scott and Kitty. "All right," Scott looked at Althea. "Wolverine, Thunderbird and the others are keeping Storm and Blade busy like you asked. Why I have no idea."

"How are they doing that?" Lina asked.

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"He's in this room I'm sure of it!" Logan shouted to Blade as he pointed to a door.

"You'd better be right this time!" Blade snorted. "If only I didn't have to rely on you people! That idiotic girl with the ponytail and her perfume! She sprayed it right into my face! My sense of smell is all screwed up!"

"Well its not like she did it on purpose or anything," Hank shrugged. "Quick! In here!"

Blade opened the door and raced in. Only to find it was a broom closet. An occupied broom closet. "Hi there!" Dr. Rosenberg gasped after Blade bumped into him. "Hey you haven't seen a vampire around have you?"

"What do you know of vampires?" Blade blinked. His eyes were easily able to see in the dark. "AND WHY THE HELL AM I IN A BROOM CLOSET?"

"I know I made the same mistake," Dr. Rosenberg told him. "I was sure Dracula was in here."

"How do you know of Dracula?" Blade asked.

"He stole my fiancée from me back in the seventies!" Dr. Rosenberg snapped. "I was very nearly in love with her. I'm pretty sure I was in love with her. But that jerk in the cape swept her off her feet and turned her into a vampire! What did she see in that guy? Maybe it was the cape?"

"This does not come as a shock to me," Blade moved to the door. He tried to open it but it was locked. "DAMNATION TO HELL! LET ME OUT!"

"We're trying but the darn thing is stuck," Logan grinned as Hank and Roadblock carefully let down a huge refrigerator in front of the broom closet.

"I'll chop my way out!" Blade howled and started to whack at the door with his sword.

"Hey! Watch it here!" Dr. Rosenberg ducked the sword. "Some of us here want to stay alive long enough to slay Dracula!"

"Slay Dracula? You?" Blade looked at Rosenberg. "Do not make me laugh!"

"For your information I am a descendent of Dr. Van Helsing himself!" Rosenberg snapped.

"Really?" Blade looked at him. "Wait…Your name would not happen to be Rosenberg would it?"

"Why yes it is," Dr. Rosenberg grinned with pride. "You've heard of me?"

"I have," Blade growled as his eyes glowed. "You are the fool who is the laughingstock of my profession! Your ancestor was a great man and your very being shames his legacy to no end!"

"Now…Hold on here…" Dr. Rosenberg gulped trying to back away. "Don't you think you're judging me a little too harshly here. Of course you're entitled to your opinion…Oh my god! You're a vampire too! HELP! HELP! I'M TRAPPED WITH A VAMPIRE! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!"

"NO I AM NOT A VAMPIRE!" Blade grabbed him and shook him.

"HELP! HELP! I'M BEING ASSAULTED HERE! VAMPIRE ASSAULT!" Rosenberg shouted. "HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!"

"NO I'M JUST GOING TO BEAT THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU, YOU BUMBLING IMBACILE!" Blade shouted, clearly frustrated.

"DON'T HIT ME! I KNOW A LOT OF GOOD LAWYERS! OW!"

"Well this is more entertaining than I thought it would be," Logan chuckled as the others stood outside the door.

"Yeah I think that'll keep him busy until we find out what's going on," Roberto said.

"What about Storm?" Thornn asked. "She's still on the warpath."

"SHIPWRECK CUT IT OUT!" They heard Ororo shouting. "NO I AM NOT INTERESTED IN RENTING A HONEYMOON SUITE!"

"I think Shipwreck's taking care of that," Low Light said.

***********************************************************************

Meanwhile the Misfits had explained the situation to the other X-Men. "Are you people seriously telling us that Dracula the Lord of the Undead is really an okay guy?" Rogue asked sarcastically. "I don't buy it!"

"Well that's because you've been hearing all the propaganda," Todd pointed out. "You know if you think about it, vampires and mutants have a lot in common."

"I don't believe this…" Jean groaned.

"I do!" Scott snapped. "Of course the Misfits would be on the bad guy's side!"

"And what is that crack supposed to mean?" Lance snarled.

"Exactly what you think it means!" Scott told him.

"Look if you don't believe us ask them yourselves!" Wanda pointed to the vampires.

"I swear I have never bitten anyone but my husband!" Cindy held up her hand. "Okay there was this one saleslady but she called me fat and she totally deserved it. But it was only on the arm and not the neck!"

"I've been off the biting wagon for decades!" Dracula told them. "I've even started a support group for vampires like myself. See here's our card." He took out a card and gave it to Scott.

"Vampires Anonymous," Scott read. "Taking the afterlife one night at a time."

"Okay it's official," Rogue said. "Now I have heard everything!"

"Okay so now that we all agree Dracula is not so icky anymore," Kitty said. "What do want us to do about it? I mean it's still pretty dark outside, can't you guys just turn into bats and fly away?"

"We would but there's no place for us to hide for the day," Cindy told them. "By the time Reinfield got around to making our plane reservations there wasn't anything available until tomorrow."

"Well they're not staying with us that's for sure!" Scott snapped. "Wait a minute! You Misfits have teleportation watches! Can't you just transport them somewhere?"

"Well normally yeah but…" Pietro looked at Trinity.

"The system is kind of down again," Daria explained. "We kind of used up the fuel on our last trip to get some stuff for our latest device." She pointed to the toilet.

"An electric toilet?" Kurt asked.

"No it's a replicator," Lance told them. "Trust us on this, you don't want a demonstration."

"O-kay…" Jean blinked.

"Look we just need a place to hide in for a day," Dracula said. "And a place to stash our coffin. It's built for two people."

"Wonderful so you want us to sneak Dracula and his wife out of here…" Scott said.

"And me!" Reinfield piped up.

"And their driver…" Scott continued.

"Don't forget our coffin," Dracula said.

"And the coffin…" Scott went on.

"Oh and my luggage," Dracula said.

"I have some souvenirs I got in the lobby," Cindy said.

"WHAT DO WE LOOK LIKE HERE? A MOVING VAN COMPANY?" Scott shouted.

"Oh come on Summers," Lance said. "You can hide two vampires and one servant for one day at your fancy mansion! It's not like you don't have the room!"

"Or you've not hidden people on the run before," Todd pointed out.

"I'd like to think we'd draw the line at vampires!" Scott said.

"Racist!" Dracula snapped.

"He's got a point!" Fred pointed out.

"What about Storm?" Jean folded her arms. "Take that point into consideration."

"Oh yeah I forgot about her," Fred said.

"That's right. You guys can't go there," Pietro said. "You'd be Kentucky Fried Bat in ten seconds!"

"Wait a minute," Kurt said. "What about the old Brotherhood house? They could hide there."

"Yeah nobody goes there anymore," Kitty said. "It's still standing. Barely but any port in a storm."

A loud thunderclap could be heard. "And speaking of storms…" Todd gulped.

"Well its not exactly the Ritz but it'll have to do," Wanda sighed. "I've got to warn you, the place is a dump. Everything's broken down and it's full of cockroaches and spiders."

"Really?" Reinfield's eyes lit up. "Can we go Master? Oh please can we go? Please! Please! Please!"

"Oh all right! All right! We'll go!" Dracula waved.

"Good! Nightcrawler you take Reinfield and the coffin and make a few short ports over to the Brotherhood house," Scott sighed. "You guys give them directions how to get there. But this is it!"

"Thank you one and all," Dracula grinned. "And thank you for helping me save my marriage!"

"Sorry for all the trouble," Cindy said.

"Okay here we go," Kurt hopped on top of the coffin. "Hop aboard!"

"Oh goody! A ride! A ride!" Reinfield hopped on top. "I feel like I'm going to Disney!"

"Check out the roaches in the south corner of the basement!" Todd called out. "They're really tasty!"

"Thanks for the tip!" Reinfield said before Kurt teleported off.

Just then the door crashed open and a very angry Ororo stood there. "YOU!" She shouted at Dracula.

"Now Storm…" Fred gulped. "Let's all talk about this like civilized people!"

"Yes you know it's really me who should be mad…" Cindy began. "But I have to admit part of this is my fault! If we could just talk about this…"

"No…" Ororo's eyes grew white and electricity filled the air.

"Arcade…" Lance gulped. "Whatever you're gonna do…Please do it!"

"You got it!" Arcade dumped the remains of his and Todd's sundaes into the replicator and flushed the handle. The next thing Ororo knew something white and fluffy shot out of the toilet and covered her with it.

"AGGGHH!" She screamed accidentally shooting a lightning bolt at the replicator. This caused it to act up and shoot out more gunk.

"Uh guys…" Arcade gulped. "I think this thing is stuck on overdrive!"

"I think now is a good time to depart! Good Evening!" Dracula said as he and Cindy turned into bats and flew out the window.

"Get that thing turned off!" Althea warned.

"We can't!" Brittany told her. "Boy there's a lot of this stuff, whatever it is."

"Marshmallow Topping," Quinn tasted it. "Must have gunked up the system somehow so it didn't get to the ice cream yet…"

"Guys! I think she's gonna blow!" Todd cried out.

Ten minutes later people in the downstairs lobby heard a rumbling noise. Suddenly a flood of marshmallow topping came pouring out of all the elevators and down the stairs. Panicked people ran everywhere, slipping and getting stuck. It also brought down some very familiar faces.

"THIS IS THE WORK OF THE VAMPIRES!" Dr. Rosenberg shouted as he stumbled out. "RUN! VAMPIRES ARE AMONG US!"

"Dad what did you do?" Barry groaned as he walked with two men in white coats. "There he is guys."

"Barry? Barry where are you taking me? Oh no I can explain!" Dr. Rosenberg said as the men in white coats carried him away. "It's the vampires' fault! THE VAMPIRES I TELL YOU!"

"Maybe I should go into psychiatry…"Barry mused. "I could make a fortune off my dad alone!"

"YOU PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS!" Blade howled as he stormed out covered with marshmallow. "Because of you Dracula, his bride and that hideous creature got away!"

"Well accidents happen," Todd said. "You know I think they went off to someplace far away…Boston or London…I think!"

"Well I know one thing. Not even Dracula is insane enough to stay in the same town with you lunatics! I never want to see you people ever again!" Blade growled as he left.

Kurt teleported in. "Well mission accomplished! Ewww! What is this gunk? What happened?"

"Grab a spoon and some hot fudge and I'll tell you everything," Althea sighed.

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"What a night…" Logan grunted as the X-Men walked into the Institute. They were still all covered with bits of marshmallow. "Charles! We're back!"

"I'm going to be cleaning this out of my fur for weeks…" Thornn grumbled.

"It's a good thing you girls dismantled that stupid thing," Forge grumbled. "Especially before somebody used it for it's original purpose. And you guys complain about my inventions?"

"Professor?" Kitty called out. "We're back! Hello?"

"Yo! Where is everyone?" Todd looked around. A loud scream and an insane laugh could be heard upstairs. "Ask a stupid question."

"Come on Rogue you'd better help me untie them," Lance sighed as he went upstairs. "SPYDER YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE KID!"

"Not as big as Shipwreck," Todd snickered as Shipwreck and Ororo walked in together. Literally. The marshmallow topping had hardened and they were stuck together.

"I told you I was stuck on you," Shipwreck grinned.

"Hank you'd better make something to unstick us fast!" Ororo shouted. "Or so help me…"

Just then the phone rang. "Charles? Where have you been? We lost you after Storm fogged up the highway?" Logan asked. "Tabitha hit a cop? Why? She thought he was making a pass at her? Where are you? In jail?"

"Well this night is full of new surprises," Todd remarked.

"Oh and the hotel is suing us for wrecking the place…" Logan groaned as he listened. "As well as the dance club. I figured that. Fine we'll be right down with the bail…"

"Oh I gotta see this!" Shipwreck shouted. "At least something good came out of tonight!"

"NOTHING GOOD CAME OUT OF THIS NIGHT!" Ororo shouted.

"Hey we're not the one's who have bad taste in men!" Rogue snapped.

"Boy Storm you really have a lousy social life don't ya?" Pietro observed.

"Hey I hear Frankenstein's monster is available. Why don't you go shack up with him?" Hank snapped.

"God I hate being single…" Ororo moaned.

Well that's the end of another wacky fic! Now I'm off on my vacation! Whoopee! Don't worry! There will be plenty of insanity and other stuff when I get back in a week or so! Including serious stuff too!

Hank: That's what we're worried about!