She Will be Mine - Part V

Hogsmeade.  Firewhiskey.  Drunk off my arse.  These were basically the only thoughts running through my head.  I held onto these thoughts like my life depended on it, because I didn't want to dwell on any thoughts that Hermione's words might drum up.

"Harry!  Please wait!" I heard her say as I climbed out the portrait hole, but I ignored her.  I started walking briskly down the corridor.  After only a few steps, Hermione was suddenly by my side, pulling on my arm.

"Harry!  Please stop!"

"Let go," I said, trying to pull my arm away and walk at the same time.

"I'm sorry Harry!  I didn't mean it like that!  Please don't walk away!"

Man, this girl sure had a strong grip.  I was flapping my arm like a chicken wing, and still she wouldn't let go.  But I wasn't going to stop, even if it meant I had to drag her all the way through the hidden tunnel and out to-

Suddenly, my right leg hit something, and I lost my balance.  I started to topple forward, and I instinctively put out my hands to brace my fall.  I landed rather painfully, my left elbow and right palm taking the brunt of the fall.  I lay there for a second, trying to process what just happened.

"Ow."

"Oh God, Harry, I'm sorry!" Hermione squealed, and out of the corner of my eye I saw her kneel down next to me.

"Did you just trip me?" I asked quietly, incredulously.

"Well, you wouldn't stop!" she said somewhat plaintively.

I rolled over on my back and heaved myself up to a sitting position, examining my hand and elbow.  Just a few scrapes, but they stung like hell.

"Are…are you all right?" she asked tentatively.

I gave her a look.  "Yeah, just peachy.  Let's see…first you call me an idiot, and then you trip me.  While you're at it, why don't you just hop on over to the owlery so you can kill my beloved pet too?"  In case you hadn't noticed, I was a little bitter at the moment.

Hermione had an injured look on her face.  "That's not funny Harry.  That's not funny at all.  I love Hedwig."  I just grunted in response.  "Here, let me see," she said, withdrawing her wand from within her robes.

I held out my palm, and she made a tricky little movement with her wand, healing my scrapes.  She repeated the motion for my elbow as well.  "Thanks," I mumbled.

"Oh Harry, what I said back there, it came out all wrong. I just meant that when I'm around you, I don't have to be so smart-"

"Ah, great," I said sarcastically.  "Clears that right up."

"Oh, that came out all wrong, too," she said anxiously.  "I mean that I can relax around you because you're not interested in important things like-"

I held up my hand, interrupting her.  "Are you trying to make me feel better?  Because if you are, you're not doing a very good job at it."

"Oh God, that came out all wrong too.  I'm making a big mess out of it," she said, wringing her hands in frustration. 

I looked over at her; it was a rare sight, seeing Hermione flustered and stammering.  And while I wanted to be mad at her, to feel all misunderstood (as she would say), Hermione just looked so damn cute kneeling there, looking all frantic and helpless.  I knew at times I could be a bit of the drama queen, but honestly, if you had gone through the crap that I call life, you might be a bit overdramatic yourself.  Hermione had never once, not in the past six years, ever implied that I was an idiot or stupid.  I sighed.  "It's all right Hermione; I know what you mean."

She looked hopeful.  "Really?"

I nodded.  "Really.  I…I may have overreacted, just a tad."

She smiled and held her thumb and forefinger an inch apart.  "Just a tad."

I scooted over so I could lean against the wall, and Hermione sat down beside me. 

"Are we okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, we're okay," I replied, taking her hand and giving it a quick squeeze before letting go.

She nodded.  After a second of silence, she spoke hesitatingly, "Can I ask why you reacted so…strongly?"

Uh oh.  I could, of course, tell her that I had suddenly fallen in love with her and wanted to drag her off to a broom closet somewhere, but that just wouldn't do.  On the other hand, she knew me well enough to see through my lies.  So, when in doubt, tell a half-truth.  I shrugged casually and fiddled with the cuff of my robe.  "I guess maybe I felt a little threatened by Godda- um, by Ernie."

She looked surprised.  "Ernie? Why Ernie?"

God, this girl asked a lot of questions.  "Well, I guess maybe I was scared that you would spend all your time with him instead of with me…and with Ron."

"Why on earth would I do that?"

I looked at her.  "Well, you are going on with him, aren't you?"

Hermione laughed.  "Oh Harry, you big dummy!  I only went out on that one date with him.  I told him it wouldn't work out between us.  Honestly Harry!  He's a bit…pompous for my tastes."

A sense of relief so strong it surprised me seemed to flood over my senses.  I let out a huge sigh.  "Thank God," I muttered under my breath.

Fortunately for me, Hermione interpreted my comment as a reflection on Ernie, and not of my undying love for her.  She giggled.  Did I ever mention how I love to hear her giggle?  Hermione's not the giggling type, so it's always a treat to hear her giggle.  "What on earth would make you think that I would date Ernie Macmillan?"

"Well," I said, feeling slightly defensive, "it's not like we ever talk about things like that."

She looked at me incredulously.  "Are you kidding?  We're always talking about things like that!"

"No," I corrected.  "We always talk about Ron and his girl problems, and we've talked about me and Cho, but we've never talked about you and what you like in a guy."

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows, obviously thinking about it.  Finally, "I guess you're right."  I pumped a fist in victory, eliciting another Hermione-giggle.  It was wonderful.  "So," she said, a rather mischievous look on her face, "we've known each other for six years now.  What kind of guy do you think I like?"

I sensed danger in the question…must tread carefully.   "Well, I'd have to guess based on your dating history," I said.

"Oh, right.  My rather extensive dating history," Hermione said dryly.

It was my turn to chuckle (as a guy, I do not giggle).  "Since I can't use Ernie anymore" – it was just regular 'Ernie' – he was no longer to be damned by God now that I knew Hermione ditched him – "I'd have to say the kind of guy you're interested in would be a cross between Gilderoy Lockhart and Viktor Krum."

"What?!" Hermione shrieked, "Gilderoy Lockhart and Viktor Krum?  You have got to be kidding!"  Hermione was bent over, laughing hard.  Gah!  As I watched her double over with laughter, it began to dawn on me why the great 'Plan (name pending)' failed so miserably.  I wish we'd had this conversation earlier.

Eventually, Hermione regained her breath.  "Honestly Harry," she said, a mirthful smile on her face, "Gilderoy Lockhart?  I was twelve, for goodness' sakes.  I was impressed by his flash and by his exploits.  He's much to shallow, even if he had done any of the things he claimed to do. Although," she added, "I did like the wavy thing he did with his hair."

Oy!  I knew I should have used Sleekeasy's!  "And Viktor?" I asked.

"Oh," she said, waving her hand dismissively.  "I was just really flattered that out of all the girls pining away for him, he chose me.  Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy; it's just that…well, he's a bit too grouchy for my tastes."

"Ah."  God, I felt like such a fool.  Again, if only we'd had this conversation earlier, I wouldn't have wasted my time on the 'Plan (name pending),' or at least come up with a better one.  In fact, now that I think about it, I shouldn't have needed the conversation; I knew Hermione well enough to know that she wasn't impressed by exploits, that she wasn't attracted to grumpy people, or that she didn't need someone brainy.  I would have banged my head against the wall a few times if she weren't sitting beside me.  Now though, the trick was to steer the conversation to find out what she did like in a guy.  Then I could craft 'the Plan II,' or 'Return of the Plan,' or maybe  'The Plan Strikes Back.'  I was thinking about an innocuous question to get the ball rolling when it occurred to me that she hadn't said anything in a while.  I looked over at her and immediately recognized that thoughtful expression on her face, like when she was on the verge of solving a puzzle or mystery.  "Hermione?"

She slowly turned her attention back to me.  "You know…" she said slowly, "you have been acting rather odd lately…"

My eyes widened.  Oh crap.  Excuse! Come up with an excuse! "Well, er, I was feeling a bit under the weather since Hogsmeade.  It was chilly."  I shivered and made a 'brrr' sound for effect.

But she wasn't listening to me – she was working out the puzzle.  "First, you were bragging about the basilisk, just like Lockhart would…"

Danger danger!  Distract her!  "Hey, it's getting pretty late.  We should head back to the common room before we get caught out after curfew."  There, that should do it.  The very idea that we would be breaking a rule should capture her attention.

"…and then, you were acting very grumpy…just like Viktor…"

Argh!  Change the subject!  "Speaking of Viktor, how's he doing?  Have you heard from him lately?  Boy, I sure miss that guy!"

"…and just now, you were talking about politics, just like Ernie…"

There was only one option left: Run!  I quickly stood up.  "So, er, I'm going to bed," – insert fake yawn here – "I'll see you in the morning."  I walked as quickly as possible without running towards the portrait hole.

"Harry, wait."

Ignore her!  Ignore her!  But my feet wouldn't listen and stopped working.  Stupid feet!  I stood still, my back to her.  I felt, rather than heard, her coming up behind me.  She circled around me so that she was facing me.  "Harry?" she asked softly.  "What's going on?"

Apparently my brain decided to shut down for the night and join my feet.  "Uh…"

 "Is there a reason you were emulating Gilderoy Lockhart, Viktor Krum, and Ernie Macmillan?"

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks.  I had never felt more exposed in my life.  Plus, what the hell did 'emulating' mean?  "Uh…"

"What's the matter?" she asked coyly.  "Cat got your tongue?  Perhaps this will help."  Hermione stood up on the tips of her toes and gently pressed her lips against mine.   The paralysis that had taken over my body lasted only a second longer before I regained the use of my body.  I closed my eyes and kissed her back, my arms moving to encircle her around the waist.  I sighed softly into her mouth as she leaned against me, her hands moving to hold my face.  After a few more blissful seconds, she pulled away.  I blinked open my eyes to look at her.

"Black hair, green eyes, and glasses," she said.

My mind was far too gone at that point to make any sense of what she just said. "Huh?"

Hermione smiled.  "If you had asked me what kind of guy I do like, I would have said, 'Black hair, green eyes, and glasses'."

I don't think I had ever smiled so big in my life.  I knew I was incapable of saying anything clever, so just pulled her in for another kiss.  Just like I planned all along.

*******

A/N: And so ends the story.  Hope everyone liked it!  Thanks to ksquared, I-Love-Logolas, and ChickFlick004.

Sexy Little Slytherin: of course Harry's plan worked!  Was there ever any doubt?  ;)

jltat: this is definitely a different style than my other stories.  Just my evolving writing, I guess.

Springbaby: I imagine that while Hermione has a good read on other people, she's not so good when it comes to herself.  And by that, I mean while she may know how she feels, she would initially have a hard time believing anyone felt the same way about her.  Oh, and I meant to read your story, but I keep forgetting.  I promise I'll get to it, honest!

gallandro-83: yes, Hermione was a bit thoughtless, but she was probably tired and not thinking clearly.  Sorry you didn't get drunk!Harry; hopefully this chapter sufficed.

oasis: about the bad language; I actually rarely swear in public (unless I'm driving and some slow driver gets in the left lane, then I swear like a trucker) but in the privacy of my mind I swear a bit. 

Anasazi: of course I can't end it like that! :)  I only know how to end stories one way: with Harry and Hermione professing their undying love, or at least a snog.