Wolverine was walking by the phone when it rang. He picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Is Mr. Charles Xavier there?"
"He's not available."
"Can I leave a voice mail?"
Logan picked his teeth with a claw. "Nope. He doesn't have voice mail."
"You're a liar. Pass me to it."
He growled, "Say that to my face, and I'll rip it off."
"You are aware this conversation is recorded."
"I'm friends with people who can make the recording and if necessary the person who recorded it, disappear. That doesn't scare me." Logan said, as he tried to remember Shield's new contact point.
"Sir, it's very important..."
"If it was, Chuck would've contacted you before you made the call. Now, is there anything else you want to talk about or can I go get some beer. It's 9pm."
"Sir." The voice was getting irate.
At this point, Xavier rolled in wearing a baseball cap set at a jaunty angle, and drinking a martini. "Telemarketer?" he asked telepathically.
"How'd you guess?" Logan responded. "Any ideas?"
By that point, the caller had gotten fed up. "Look, here's the number. Tell him to call, jerk." She slammed the phone down.
"She's calling from the Xerox company. Wants to give us prices on cartridges. Intriguing, but annoying." Xavier pondered. "Time for plan Theta."
"Not again....." Logan banged his head against the wall, all the while knowing that Xavier would just take control of his mind if he didn't cooperate. It was one thing when chuck was sober. Then he avoided things like that. But drunk was another story.
- - - - - - - -
Wolverine walked out of the mansion. He cringed when Forge's new invention came in sight. Why couldn't he just come up with something approaching normal? At least the slingshot idea had been somewhat sane.
"A jet propelled flying chicken with a saddle and harness?!!!!" he yelled, while forge just tinkered a little more. He was completely oblivious to the annoyed Canadian.
Forge adjusted his belt. "Now, in order to start it up, you have to press the red button. The harness will steer. On the top of the head is a holographic projector that will beam onto a steel screen imbedded in it's beak. You will have to bend down to see it of course. The projector is linked to the radar which will direct you to Xerox. Also, purely for shock purposes, upon arrival the chicken will act like a frightened bird trying to leave an enclosed area. Here's your costume by the way." He handed over a cowboy costume complete with lasso and plastic pisols.
Logan smacked his head. "Why am I not surprised. Why don't you Jump to the end, lunatic. Where are my traveling supplies?"
"Your beer is in the compartment behind you."
Logan smacked his head. "The chickens butt? You want me to pull alcohol out of it's butt?!!!" * snikt *. Next thing Logan knew, he was on the chicken flying at a high rate of speed. "CHUCK!!!!!!!"
- - - - - - - - -
Josephine was taking a coffee break. She'd already forgotten the call to Mr. Charles Xavier. Then she heard a crash and screams. When she looked out, she saw a gigantic chicken flapping it's wings and running around breaking equipment. On top of it, was a man dressed like a cowboy, swinging a beer around and yelling what sounded like "Yahoo!!!!"
Xavier fell out of his chair laughing at the mental images he received from everyone in the telemarketer building. Including Josephine, whose mental processes shut down one by one as she fainted.
"Hello?"
"Is Mr. Charles Xavier there?"
"He's not available."
"Can I leave a voice mail?"
Logan picked his teeth with a claw. "Nope. He doesn't have voice mail."
"You're a liar. Pass me to it."
He growled, "Say that to my face, and I'll rip it off."
"You are aware this conversation is recorded."
"I'm friends with people who can make the recording and if necessary the person who recorded it, disappear. That doesn't scare me." Logan said, as he tried to remember Shield's new contact point.
"Sir, it's very important..."
"If it was, Chuck would've contacted you before you made the call. Now, is there anything else you want to talk about or can I go get some beer. It's 9pm."
"Sir." The voice was getting irate.
At this point, Xavier rolled in wearing a baseball cap set at a jaunty angle, and drinking a martini. "Telemarketer?" he asked telepathically.
"How'd you guess?" Logan responded. "Any ideas?"
By that point, the caller had gotten fed up. "Look, here's the number. Tell him to call, jerk." She slammed the phone down.
"She's calling from the Xerox company. Wants to give us prices on cartridges. Intriguing, but annoying." Xavier pondered. "Time for plan Theta."
"Not again....." Logan banged his head against the wall, all the while knowing that Xavier would just take control of his mind if he didn't cooperate. It was one thing when chuck was sober. Then he avoided things like that. But drunk was another story.
- - - - - - - -
Wolverine walked out of the mansion. He cringed when Forge's new invention came in sight. Why couldn't he just come up with something approaching normal? At least the slingshot idea had been somewhat sane.
"A jet propelled flying chicken with a saddle and harness?!!!!" he yelled, while forge just tinkered a little more. He was completely oblivious to the annoyed Canadian.
Forge adjusted his belt. "Now, in order to start it up, you have to press the red button. The harness will steer. On the top of the head is a holographic projector that will beam onto a steel screen imbedded in it's beak. You will have to bend down to see it of course. The projector is linked to the radar which will direct you to Xerox. Also, purely for shock purposes, upon arrival the chicken will act like a frightened bird trying to leave an enclosed area. Here's your costume by the way." He handed over a cowboy costume complete with lasso and plastic pisols.
Logan smacked his head. "Why am I not surprised. Why don't you Jump to the end, lunatic. Where are my traveling supplies?"
"Your beer is in the compartment behind you."
Logan smacked his head. "The chickens butt? You want me to pull alcohol out of it's butt?!!!" * snikt *. Next thing Logan knew, he was on the chicken flying at a high rate of speed. "CHUCK!!!!!!!"
- - - - - - - - -
Josephine was taking a coffee break. She'd already forgotten the call to Mr. Charles Xavier. Then she heard a crash and screams. When she looked out, she saw a gigantic chicken flapping it's wings and running around breaking equipment. On top of it, was a man dressed like a cowboy, swinging a beer around and yelling what sounded like "Yahoo!!!!"
Xavier fell out of his chair laughing at the mental images he received from everyone in the telemarketer building. Including Josephine, whose mental processes shut down one by one as she fainted.