AN: Okay. So this story is finally finished. Thanks for all the readers that stuck with me through this long angsty ride. Hope this satisfies everyone. I love this story and I'm pleasantly surprised as to how it ended up. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Summer found Ryan on the patio with Seth several minutes after their conversation. Seth was on the phone and Ryan was standing at the railing, smoking a cigarette with a shaky hand.

"Hey. You okay?" She asked, putting her arm around him.

"Sometimes it's hard to tell the good days from the bad. Because they're all bad," He started slowly. "And the fucked up thing is that it's all me. Like, I have an awesome family and best friends anyone could ask for but…it's still bad."

"What can I do?" She asked.

"Can I come home with you tonight?"

"Of course. And we can talk. Or we can just be quiet. Whatever you need," Summer nodded.

"Thanks."

Summer and Ryan didn't talk, they made love until Summer finally fell asleep in his arms. The next morning, she mumbled, "Ryan?"

"Hmm?"

"What time is it?"

"7:30. You don't have class until 9," He replied.

She rolled over with a smile. "You know my schedule?"

"Yeah. Is that weird?"

"No. It's sweet."

He yawned.

"You get any rest.

"Just thinking."

Summer wasn't sure what he meant. His blue eyes were dim today. She couldn't read him. "It's pretty early for thinking."

"Yeah. I'm going to go get a shower…"

"You want me to come with?"

"My back…"

"Oh, yeah, too hot. I get it. Maybe a massage when you're done?" She asked.

He kissed her, cupping her face. "I'll be back."

Summer drifted into a light doze. After 20 minutes, she realized the she hadn't heard the shower turn on. She got up and put on her robe. Ryan wasn't in the bathroom.

"Ryan?" She searched the apartment, but he was gone. She had her phone in her hand when she saw the Post-it note stuck to the front door.

I'm sorry. I had to go.

Ryan was missing for 12 hours when Kirsten started the calling circle. Every ten minutes, a different person would dial Ryan's phone. She was convinced that he would break down and speak to someone.

He'd been gone 24 hours when Seth was sitting with Gaby, Luke and Trey in Gaby's hotel room. Trey's phone rang, breaking the silence. He answered it immediately.

"Hello?"

"Trey?"

Luke noticed Trey's posture change as he tensed up completely.

"Dawn?"

"Yeah."

"What do you want?"

"I know we aren't on the best terms, kid, but…I know that you love Ryan…you always tried to look out for him…"

"What are you raving about, Ma?"

Everyone was paying attention now.

"I'm out."

"Oh. Really?"

"Ry picked me up yesterday…"

"You saw him?" Trey asked.

"Yeah. He's got me set up in this halfway house…it's real nice. And I'm seeing this shrink or something…she's nice. But I'm worried about Ryan. He…he seemed off or something. Like, I know he has a right to be pissed at me, but this seemed different. When he said goodbye…it was like he really meant it."

"Do you know where he is?"

"No. Is everything all right, Trey?"

Trey was stricken by his mother's concern.

"Do you really care?"

"Yeah, kid. I'm messed up but I love my boys. I'm sorry that I didn't show it…but there's time…is Ryan okay?"

"No, Ma," Trey sighed, visibly affected.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Stay clean. Get better."

Dawn was silent. "I'm trying. One day at a time. You'll take good care of Ryan…and if there's anything I can do…"

"Call me if you talk to him."

"Sure."

Trey closed his phone. "He picked up Dawn from jail yesterday.

"What?" Gaby asked.

"She seemed…different. Ryan's got her in this halfway house, trying to stay sober. She said she was worried about him."

"But I thought his mom…she was a bad mom, wasn't she?" Gaby stopped herself when she remembered that Trey and Ryan shared the same mom.

"She wasn't a mom at all. Me and Ry…we took care of ourselves. Ma…she's manipulative…she's cold…but she really sounded different today."

"But Ryan…he was okay when she saw him?" Seth asked.

"She said he was 'off'. She's going to call if she hears from him again," Trey said, still stunned.

"You okay, man?" Luke asked.

"Yeah. That was just weird."

Jimmy's phone rang the 3rd day of Ryan's disappearance.

"Jimmy Cooper."

"Hey, Jimmy."

"Ryan? Hey, are you all right?"

"Still around…"

"What's going on, kid? Are you all right?"

"I'm off the wagon. I'm at an AA meeting…but they don't really work if you're drunk…"

"Can I come get you?"

"I didn't want to call Sandy…he's done so much for me and I just keep disappointing him…and Summer…"

"I'm glad you called, Ryan, you know that I'm here for you…what can I do?"

"I need to sober up…" Ryan's words were slurred. "I just need a place to crash and I'm tired of hotels…"

"Just tell me where you are, kid…"

"Can you…never mind…"

"What, Ryan? Please…let me help you."

"I…I'll call a cab."

"Ryan. I will help you, I'll come and get you…" Jimmy started, trying to keep his voice level.

"I'll be there in a while."

"Okay. I'll be waiting. Don't leave me hanging, kid."

Jimmy opened the door before Ryan had a chance to ring the bell. "Come in."

Ryan's hair was flattened against his head from the recent rainshower and he was thin in his jeans and t-shirt.

"You cold?" Jimmy asked.

"Yeah…"

"Go take a shower, I have coffee ready."

Ryan looked at him.

"I haven't called anyone yet, kid. It's just you and me, okay?"

"Thanks."

"I'll put some clothes in the guest room for you."

Ryan took advantage and went to the guest bathroom and took a hot shower.

He'd had a relapse. Another one. But something had changed.

He'd gotten up this morning and started a fifth of Jack Daniels. By noon, he found himself holding the bottle in one hand and a gun in the other. Loaded and ready. He didn't shake.

But he felt something snap inside.

He saw Seth.

He saw Kirsten and Sandy.

He saw Summer.

And he wanted to see them again. He'd messed up but if he didn't try and pull himself out of this spiral, he'd fail. He had to try again.

Trying was something.

He wasn't a quitter, or he never used to be.

He'd lost himself.

But he'd remembered it in a flash. He emptied the bullets, emptied the bottles. He'd attempted a meeting.

Now he was here.

He got dressed in Jimmy's clothes and walked out into the main room.

"Sit. Coffee."

Ryan sat down on the couch and accepted the mug of steaming coffee.

"You want some food?"

"I'm okay, Jimmy." Ryan met his gaze. "I'm really okay."

"Really?"

"I…I don't want to die. I want to keep trying. I'm not running anymore. I'm strong and I have people in my life to help me…and I'm so sorry for not coming to my senses sooner…"

Jimmy listened. "So…"

"I know it's sudden and I don't expect you to believe that I'm miraculously cured… I still need help…but…"

"Ryan. I believe you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Ryan smiled. "So…can I ask you a big favor?"

"Yeah, what?"

"Can I crash? Tomorrow…maybe you can take me home?"

"Definitely. I'm going to call your parents tonight, though."

"That's cool." The Cohens were his parents now.

"And I can't promise that Kaity won't find you, she gets up damned early for a kid her age," Jimmy warned.

"It's cool. Thanks, Jimmy."

"Get some rest, kid."

Ryan woke up the next morning to find Kaitlyn sitting on his bed with a tray of food.

"You're skinny. Like Lara Flynn Boyle skinny…"

"Liar…" Ryan smiled.

"It's awesome to see you. Dad's been really worried. You okay?"

"Yeah. For now."

"Eat. I have to tell you about this boy I met…"

"A Newpsie?"

"Ew, no," Kaitlyn said, disgusted. "He's from Texas. He's like this unjaded, innocent little hottie with a body like…well, like yours at your peak…"

"Ouch," Ryan laughed.

"Anyway, I really want you to meet him, Dad was all weird and protective…"

"What makes you think I'll be any different?"

"Dad's old. You just pretend to b e in front of everybody," Kaitlyn replied. "Eat. Dad's pacing in the den. Kirsten's called six times already."

Ryan ate enough to satisfy Kaitlyn and then got dressed, joining them in the den.

"Hey. Morning."

"Hey. Kaity says you're fine," Jimmy smiled.

"Yeah."

"Well…I don't want to rush you, but…" Jimmy started.

"I'm ready." He was ready to go home.

EPILOGUE

"What's this I hear about you not going to your own graduation?" Trey walked into Ryan's office.

"I have a meeting in Rome that I can't cancel," Ryan said, not looking up from the blueprints spread in front of him.

"Cal will understand, I'll talk to him," Trey started.

"Cal? It's not even Caleb anymore?" Ryan asked, smiled as he regarded his brother.

"He's teaching me to play golf. I'm going to kick Sandy's ass next weekend."

Trey was the head of the construction branch of the Newport Group. He'd started his own company and Ryan had hired him enough times that the Newport Group had bought him out but put him in charge of the subsidiary. Caleb wanted a family business.

"I have to go to Rome."

"Ryan, you're graduating college…"

"I went to Summer, Seth and Luke's graduation. I even went to Anna's…"

"Which is why you have to go to yours."

"Trey…"

"Give me one good reason why…"

"Summer's coming with me. It's going to be our second honeymoon."

Trey laughed. "You're not even married!"

"So? Her choice, not mine. Her dad's been married eight times now, she's not into marriage. We've been together, what, 4 or 5 years now…"

"You better figure that out before you go on your honeymoon," Trey said.

"And Gaby's in Rome with Luke, he's playing there…I don't need to wear that stupid gown when I can be in Rome."

Trey sighed. "Okay, man. But at least let me take you out to dinner when you get back. Sylvia and the kids would love to see you."

"I was just over yesterday," Ryan said.

"They always love to see you. I have to go. Call me?"

"Yeah, you, too."

When Ryan got home, all the cars were in the driveway. "Seth? Summer?" He called.

"Outside!" Summer replied. He followed her voice into the backyard.

Summer and Seth were both holding spatulas and standing in front of their small grill.

"What's going on?" Ryan asked suspiciously.

"Summer broke the stove again," Seth said immediately, pointing at her accusingly.

"Not until after Seth blew up the microwave," Summer replied, shoving him.

"What is that?" Ryan pointed to the blackened mounds on the grill that the flames were licking.

"Burgers," Seth and Summer said in unison.

"Burgers," Ryan repeated.

"Yeah, from Burger King, we just heated the buns up and…" Seth began.

Ryan turned off the gas and closed the grill's cover. "We're going out."

"But…" Seth stammered.

"Those buns," Ryan started, pointing at the small table.

"Hey, don't knock the buns, they're totally edible…" Summer defended the blackened buns.

They all paused before bursting into laughter.

"Summer's paying," Seth said as they walked into the house.

"Oh no, you broke the microwave first…" Summer snapped, looping her arm around Ryan's waist.

"True, but…"

"Children, hush. We're going out, you won't starve. Now stop arguing," Ryan laughed.