Disclaimer: I don't own em. Don't sue. No money is being made. Yadda yadda.

By The Original Marisa

Chapter 3 – Collateral

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Mozenrath paced slowly. "Let's see, what to wish for?" He raised an eyebrow, eyeing Aladdin's little fanclub. "Death of your friends, perha—"

"Nooope, sorry." Genie, now in a blue police officer's uniform, poofed in front of Mozenrath and blew a whistle close to the sorcerer's ear. "Death is prohibited!"

With a quick burst of Mozenrath's magic, Genie was thrown against the wall for the third time. Which is, as they say, the charm; Genie used an airbag this time, and no peeling was involved.

"What does he mean 'prohibited'?!" Mozenrath growled, glaring at Aladdin.

"Yeah!" Gurgled Xerxes, "Prohib...bilibid... prohe..." the eel struggled with the word. "...yeah!"

Aladdin stared at Mozenrath, then smirked. "I never imagined that you of all people wouldn't know the rules a genie is bound to." Aladdin gained confidence in this sudden advantage over his new "master". It was small, but it was something. He floated upwards, "standing" upright. "What, with all your magical libraries, there was nothing about—"

"Just tell me these rules." Hissed Mozenrath.

"Well, first," Aladdin began, crossing his arms, "as you've already learned, a genie can't kill anyone. Second, I can't—"

"No!" Genie exclaimed, "Al, you're doing it all wrong!"

"...what?"

Genie grinned. "When you explain the rules, you've got to do it in style!"  he spread his arms, and the Citadel around them disappeared, replaced with a college lecture hall. Everyone was seated in the stands, sans Genie, who was standing in the center of the hall. He had clad himself in a white shirt, sweater vest, plaid pants and a long grey beard.

Mozenrath was quite perturbed at the change in scenery (as well as his clothing. He was a few centuries behind the idea of windbreakers and backwards baseball caps) and readied his gauntlet. "Return me and my Citadel to normal!"

"Ah, but virst, ve muzt explain ze rules of ze genie." Genie clapped his hands, and one of his special "anti-magic mittens" appeared on Mozenrath's right hand. As the sorcerer growled and struggled to remove the item, Genie tapped the chalkboard, and a stick figure labeled 'Bob the Genie' appeared.

Meanwhile, Abu was tearing a paper out of his notebook.

"Here ve zee Bob. He eez granting a vish for heez master, Isaac Ezekiel Jehosephat zee Third." A second stick figure appeared on the chalkboard, and the two began to move about the green space provided. "Now, Isaac Ezekiel Jehosephat zee Third does not like mizter Piggyface, soz he tries to have Bob kill mizter Piggyface. However..."

Aladdin tuned Genie out, already well aware of how the rules worked. He watched Abu chew on a piece of paper, set it on the desk, and flick it at Xerxes, who in turn made a sad attempt at doing the same. However, the eel was quickly interrupted by the snap of a ruler on his "desk".

"ZERE VILL BE NO ZPITBALLINGK IN MEIN CLASS!"

Xerxes flashed his teeth, ready to bite at Genie, who quickly pointed his finger and produced a muzzle around Xerxes' head.

Genie jumped back to the chalkboard, erasing his moving pictures. "Een konclusion, vhen Bob ze Genie followed Isaac Ezekiel Jehozephat ze Third's orders, he vas taken avay to a beeg scary land of no return."

Mozenrath smirked. "That actually sounds quite promising."

Aladdin found himself wanting to toss a... "spitball" at Mozenrath. Before he could, however, the college lecture hall and all that went with it disappeared, leaving everyone back to normal.

"All right, then." Mozenrath muttered, brushing himself off and flexing his right hand, now free of the mitten. "Finally. For my first wish, I—"

"WAAAAIT!" Genie cried frantically, grabbing Mozenrath's shoulders. "You don't want to make wishes on him yet!"

"Oh?" Mozenrath raised an eyebrow, pushing Genie away, "And why is that?"

"Because... because he...doesn't know how to use his magic yet!" Genie stretched his arm out, reaching for Aladdin and pulling the young genie in front of Mozenrath. "I mean, come on, if you wish for a dog, he'll conjure up a dish towel!"

Aladdin whirled and scowled.

Genie gritted his teeth. "Just. Play. Along." He murmured softly, then raised his voice to normal. "Come on, I've had ten thousand years of practice – and that was just in my lamp! Him?" He ruffled Aladdin's hair, "How long's he been a genie? An hour, max?"

Mozenrath nodded. "Point well taken. Now, how will I remedy this?" With a smirk, the sorcerer snapped his fingers. "Of course! I'll trap you in the Crystal of IXTA—"

Genie quickly pointed his finger at Mozenrath, conjuring a thick strip of duct tape across the sorcerer's mouth.

"Look, Mozenrath." Aladdin watched the sorcerer rip the tape off his mouth and wince painfully. Aladdin continued, smirking. "You know just as well as I do that you'd just love to have me as your little... genie servant thing."

Mozenrath rubbed his lips with his left hand, trying to rid himself of the numbing sensation. Finally, he said, "Yes, but it would be just as satisfying knowing that I'm using your magic to conquer the seven deserts."

"No it wouldn't." Countered Aladdin, "I know how sadistic you are."

Mozenrath eyed Aladdin for a moment, smiling maliciously. "Are you saying you want to be my slave?"

Xerxes cackled.

Jasmine scowled, latching herself to Aladdin's arm. "I don't think any of us are too keen on the idea of him being trapped in a crystal."

"So, say I did want to make wishes on him." Mozenrath began, "how do you suggest clearing up the problem you mentioned?"

Aladdin watched Genie, fully expecting some kind of magical cure, or a strange setting, or even one of those... tee-vee programs that Genie loved to create. But Genie was completely serious. It was kind of... creepy.

"I'll train him." Genie offered. "I'll teach him how to control his magic."

Mozenrath considered that. "You have one month."

"Three." Bargained Genie.

"Two." Concluded the sorcerer. "And that's all you're getting."

Genie dressed himself in a plaid coat, conjuring a pedestal and gavel. "Two months, we have an offer of two months!"

Xerxes floated by curiously, sniffing the gavel.

 "Going once, going twice," Genie called, "SOLD!" he 'accidentally' slammed the gavel down on Xerxes head.

Mozenrath scoffed and snatched Xerxes from the pedestal. "I'll be waiting for you on this date. In two months." He stated, pulling the lamp from his coat. "I'll be keeping the lamp, so don't try anything 'tricky', like stealing it back." He pointed his finger at Abu, who was slowly sneaking up to grab the bronze lamp. The monkey screeched, and when the magic stopped, he was scorched, smoking, and stumbling blindly. "And for some extra collateral..." Mozenrath aimed his magic at Jasmine, and in a flash, she was gone.

"JASMINE!" Aladdin cried, trying to grab at her, keep her safe—but it was too late, she was gone. "Leave her out of this, Mozenrath!" He snarled, "She has nothing to do with this!"

"Just making sure you don't try escaping your fate." Mozenrath smirked. "I assure you, she'll be quite safe. Now run along now, little street rat... the clock is ticking..."

"Tick tock." Xerxes hissed with delight, "Tick tock!"

Aladdin looked ready to lunge, but Genie grabbed his arm. "Mozenrath's giving a generous deal, kid." He muttered, "I wanna save the princess, too, but there's nothing we can do right now. Not with you in this position..."

Iago landed on Aladdin's shoulder. "Listen to him, kid. For once, he's being smart."

"But... he took—"

"You'll have her back, safe and sound, in two months time." Mozenrath hissed. "Now hurry up before I change my mind."

Aladdin scowled at Mozenrath one last time, then turned to leave the Citadel. "I'll be back."

Mozenrath nodded. "I'll be waiting, my genie."

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Author Notes: RARARARARG TOO MUCH CONVERSATION NOT ENOUGH ACTION rips out hair

I feel like this fic is losing it's charm... I'm no good at Aladdin fics. Siiiigh. ;;