Omnia Sol Temperat - Chapter 7

It was Saturday night, and they had spent the evening together in Subaru's apartment.

Smiling softly, the boy ghosted a gloved finger around the outline of Seishirou-san's face. It looked ethereal and beautiful, strangely highlighted by the flickering, muted static of a video cassette long out-spooled. Seishirou was asleep. Halfway though the film, the man had drifted off with a cheek to Subaru's thigh, and then an hour ago Subaru had carefully removed and folded his glasses and placed them on an end table to keep them safe.

Seishirou breathed slowly, the current of air bending a stray hair toward his face by a few millimeters. Subaru considered how peaceful he looked, and he decided that with a profession as demanding as his, it was probably rare for the man to simply unwind. Seishirou-san had looked a little more tired than usual this past week, which meant that any normal human being would be already threadbare; he was definitely entitled to his rest. Subaru smiled a little at how open and relaxed he looked now: he even looked a little younger than usual.

With nothing better to do, Subaru gingerly moved a few strands of floppy hair back behind an ear. An intimate gesture, he realized only after he'd done it. Seishirou didn't react in his sleep, and Hokuto didn't pounce from nowhere to tease him. His cheeks heated in embarrassment anyway. Something squeezed and pulled inside. He didn't notice the scar-twinge on the back of his hands over the heavy, contracting thumps of his heart.

He told himself it was no big deal to smooth Seishirou-san's hair. It was just a courtesy, like removing his glasses, to make him more comfortable. But his warming ears disagreed. Subaru smiled slightly, comfortable with the weight near his hip and the sound of low breathing. He wouldn't allow his own thoughts to make him feel awkward. He was determined to enjoy the comfort and simplicity of the moment without shame.

And so now, at last free from teasing or ridicule and with nothing better to do in the flickering gray light, he sat toying with a strand of hair, repeatedly brushing it back into place against gravity's will. Subaru smiled: it was like black silk against black silk.

-Subaru-kun, do you find me sexy?-

Seishirou's catch phrase would have made a better joke if it had been a little further from the truth. Seishirou-san was very handsome and intelligent; Subaru envied his solid, calm confidence and strength. Often, Subaru looked up to him with full respect and trust.

-But I know I'm not worthy for you.-

But how could that be? In his own eyes, Subaru was just an average teenage boy, too thin to be imposing, too easily embarrassed to be respectable. He even looked too young for his age. He was awkward, clumsy, and stood out miserably in crowds. There was really nothing special that he himself possessed, except the friendship of Seishirou and the love of his sister. He was happiest when they were happy, too.

Subaru swallowed with a guilty idea.

It'd be best to simply forget it, but indecision tore at his chest. Finally squelching thoughts of shame he gathered his courage. He could do it now because no one was looking. Subaru, cheeks aflame, pressed a quick kiss to Seishirou-san's temple, then smoothed hair back over it as if to hide the evidence.

"Good night, Seishirou-san."

Subaru felt the weight of sleep heavy on his eyelids as well, so he pried off his shoes with his toes and leaned back on the sofa. His fingers were still intermixed with Seishirou-san's hair, but he liked it that way, so he didn't bother to move. It was the most comfortable he could ever remember feeling. The hollow feeling inside was gone, too.

Breaths slowed and deepened, until sleep took him as well.


---

Subaru's mouth twitched into an unfamiliar smile; there were gentle fingers on his scalp, easing him from his dream. It was already late twilight. It felt so comfortable here in bed, and he was so well rested that it seemed a good idea to just lay a little longer.

"Morning, adorable. Sleep well?"

He sighed happily. "Better than in ages, Seishirou-san…"

The deeper voice chuckled at that. "That's good to hear." There was a shuffling of sheets. Maybe it was the bleariness of half-sleep, but the voice sounded different, a little less familiar, after the pause. "It wouldn't be a bad idea to get cleaned up before I make us breakfast, eh?"

Subaru turned his head almost expecting to see two people in the room. "Fuuma..?" To which the figure shook his head and shrugged. A torrent of half-formed thoughts, questions, and emotions overwhelmed his fogged mind. He blinked, regaining focus. "I need a cigarette."

"Bet you do." Fuuma extended a pack, taking one for himself.

Subaru brushed it away with a glare. "I don't smoke inside."

He shrugged. "Want to talk outside, then?"

Going outside would require putting on clothes. And while not being nude around a deranged Fuuma didn't sound like a bad idea, getting dressed required first getting clean. All of it was energy he didn't want to spend.

"Eh, never mind, the cigarette can wait." Subaru sat up, gathering the bedclothes around him protectively. Fuuma was already in shirt and boxers – how long had he been up already?

"We're going to have a heart-to-heart? That's really adorable. I thought you'd want my head torn off by your shiki-bird-things by now."

Subaru shook his head. It his fault this happened, because in the back of his mind, he knew he'd slept with Fuuma, and didn't care. "I can do that anytime. It's just interesting that you're…"

Fuuma's eyes lit. "Not trying to kill you right now?" Subaru looked away; he would have phrased it more elegantly.

"You're just acting… almost normal."

"Well, sorry." Extending his hands, he looked offended. "I'm the good guy, here." He brushed some hair from his face and readjusted his glasses. "Would it be too simple to say it's because you wish it?" He looked into Subaru's eyes. "I'm actually a very nice person. I help realize wishes… If anything, I help people who can't do things for themselves."

Subaru laughed indignantly. "You wanted to kill everyone because the planet wished it, right?"

"It did, and part of it still does. And quite many people wished their suffering would end, so don't villianize me."

"Killed them so violently." He stared intently at the wall across the room. "You had fun murdering them."

Fuuma shrugged. "What's wrong with having fun while we do what we need to do? It makes the job easier."

He could accept the sideways reasoning, but there was a note of strain he couldn't keep from coloring his voice when he asked about himself. "But why attack me last night? Don't tell me it's what I wished for."

"You're smart, aren't you." Fuuma grinned at that. "It may have been a selfish moment on my part… I'm supposed to be happy, and I thought it would make me happy to be killed. That's something you understood, isn't it? If I could've scared you into stabbing me through the heart, it would've really helped me out.

"As for this," he gestured toward the bed, "it was a combination of both our wishes. You wished to be with your Sakurazukamori, and if the illusion didn't work right, there was a high probability you'd attack me for molesting you anyway. You can see how it was a win-win situation, can't you?"

Subaru took a moment to digest this. "…You're fundamentally twisted." He rolled over again and flopped down on the pillow. He should have known Fuuma like this was completely nuts.

"That's what two and a half years without a good lay will do," he chuckled.

Subaru's cheeks burned. He'd gotten along just fine his whole life. "Only if you're a perv–" Numbers clicked in his head. "W-wait. Two an a half? Don't tell me you..." He still couldn't quite bring himself to say Kamui's name, but that would explain the boy's jumpiness and emotional trauma, not to mention physical weakness against his twin star.

"Quite the reverse. He nailed me. Couldn't stand to be submissive."

Subaru blinked.

"He was good though, so I adapted a few of his 'techniques' just for you."

"No. S-Seishirou-san would never…" Subaru's guts flip-flopped.

"Well, you never did anything to ease his frustration," he offered. "And don't look at me like someone ate your cheesecake. It was purely sexual, and it was on my proposal, not his. I couldn't even stop him from moping about it later. That's your problem: neither of you really ever knew what you wanted. You know, what he really wanted was your cute ass, and I'm such a nice guy I that filled in the blanks and gave him at least an illusion of what he wanted, screams and all." He shook his head. "Speaking of which, I know exactly how it hurts. You don't have to pretend it doesn't. The Sakurazukamori did the same to me, and it hurt like a—"

"Stop."

"Of course, I used proper lube and he grabbed the first thing he—"

"I really don't want to hear the gory details of the sex between you and Seishirou-san." Subaru shivered involuntarily, feeling dirtier by the second.

Fuuma cast him an appraising look. "Cold? You should get clean."

Clean? He frowned; the blood on his clothing would have set by now, and it'd be harder to get out. The blood of…

Subaru winced. "The other Dragons?"

"Who?"

"Your loose ends."

"…Come again?"

"But the blood, their blood, on your hands. You killed them. You called them 'loose ends', didn't you. And now I have to get their REMAINS out of my clothes." Subaru swayed, feeling the room collapse in on him. His breathing quickened.

If it were only his pain, he could deal with it. Involving his friends, the few people left he knew… Their pain fell on his conscience.

"What? No, calm down. Cold water and ammonia. It gets ketchup out of fabric every time."

Subaru stared.

"Don't have an aneurism on me."

"You fucking bastard."

"You know, you're awfully cute when you swear."

"Get out."

The edge in Subaru's voice didn't seem to affect him. "You're hungry… Feel like pancakes or instant miso? I might make both."

"Out."

"Then don't blame me if you starve yourself to death," he shrugged and swung his legs off the mattress, scooted his feet into flip-flops, and actually went to the door. Over his shoulder, he left words of reassurance. "I'm only trying to help. I'm not as bad as you make me out to be."

"You're just sadistic."

"I prefer to call it altruistic," Fuuma winked. "See you in a few days… Get a shower, find some food… and I hope that soreness of yours heals quick, ne?"

Subaru threw a pillow a second too late: the door was already closed.

Exhausted, he flopped back down on the mattress. It was quite likely that Fuuma, at least his normal self, wouldn't remember any of this by tomorrow, so it was best not to worry himself sick over this. He really should get clean. And do some laundry. But first, he really needed a cigarette. He reached for the pack and lighter, refusing to care that he would probably set the apartment on fire by breaking his rule. Funny how rules don't seem to apply in a crisis.

Before he got halfway done, he had to stub it out in the bathroom sink. All he could think about was Seishirou-san in bed with the dark Kamui, and it made his hands shake.

But he hadn't been any better. Memories of the previous night cut vividly into his thoughts. Looking into the mirror then was a mistake: it reflected an amber eye back to his repentant green.

"Seishirou-san... I'm sorry."

Subaru showered under nearly scalding water until it ran out and left him with ice. He dressed, located his keys, and checked the clock. Luckily, the observation deck would be open for another three hours.

He would see Tokyo's glittering lights again tonight with Seishirou-san.