Pirates of Middle School Curse of the completely random day with Jack Sparrow ---------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclamer: Well just in case you thought we owned Pirates of the Caribbean we don't we don't own Jack or any other characters they are owned by a big company blah blah blah...so on and so fourth but we do own the potc dvd and cd and we have pictures of Jack in our purses and Val has a Johnny Depp signed picture of him on her wall.
Jack: wait.... Did you just say a big moneymaking company owns me?
Us: yeah...
Jack: Does that mean I'm rich?
Us: no...
Jack- NOOOOOOO I will never get true freedom! I say we pillage Disney and burn all of their offices down!
Us: O.o
ON WITH THE STORY Chapter 1: An extremely pleasant surprise
Alyssa and I were watching the Pirates of the Caribbean for the 78 time and we still weren't bored with it. Not that we could ever be bored with staring at Johnny Depp!
We have a slight ok I have to tell the truth...HUMONGOUS obsession with potc...we carry Jack pictures in our wallets we watch potc at least once a week and there is not one second in which we are not listening to the potc CD and I have a signed picture of Jack hung on my wall. We also memorized the whole potc script! Um...we where supposed to write a story for science in which we traveled around the circulatory system and Alyssa and I put Jack in ours!
(Authors note: you can read pirates of the circulatory system and return to the circulatory system because we put them on too! And we really did right it for science...)
Oh no the movie was up to the part where Barbossa stabs Jack. (did I tell you that I can be a little random?) I ran towards the TV and kicked it.
"Whoa I think that was the most random thing you ever did!" Alyssa exclaimed.
"Barbossa deserved it!" I huffed.
"You got to start remembering that they are fictional characters." Alyssa said.
"Jack...Fictional?" I asked.
Alyssa( o.O
"Maybe we should go to back to bed it is 5:00 in the morning and it is a school night and our parents will never trust us with a sleepover again" Alyssa pointed out.
"That might be a good idea..."I thought aloud.
The noise of an alarm clock woke me.
"Garr... must sue school for making me get up at 6:30" I said sleepily.
I sat up and looked down at my floor to see the unconscious body of Captain Jack Sparrow.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"I screamed.
"WHAT!?!" Alyssa asked groggily but when she saw Jack she screamed too.
"NO Disney inc. please don't sue me I didn't kill Johnny Depp I swear!" I yelled.
"If that's Johnny Depp, why is he wearing his pirate costume?" Alyssa asked.
"I told you Jack was not a fictional character!" I said.
Just then Jack raised his hand,"Gimme another rum bartender I'm still sober." He drawled.
"Jack's so cute when he's unconscious." I said dreamily. Alyssa slapped me.
"You're talking about how cute Jack is when we are in this situation?!?"
Jack's eyes suddenly snapped open, "This isn't the bar." He said. He looked at the wall and upon seeing his picture on the wall he yelled "What the bloody hell?"
"Jack is so cute when he's confused." I said.
Alyssa slapped me again.
"Hmmm... so I'm not the only one who gets slapped." Jack mused. "Where am I?"
"You are in the 21first centaury Jack things are very different" Alyssa answered.
"How do you know my name??????" Jack asked.
"That's another thing... you see you were in a movie, the main character, hmm well you don't know what a movie is do you? I'll explain later." Alyssa explained. Jack( o.O
"Right..............."answered Jack.
I giggled, "He's cuter than I imagined."
Jack( o.O
"How are you gonna get back?" Alyssa pondered.
"OOOOOOO how about we ask the flying cows to help?" I asked.
"Did she have too much rum or somtin'?" Jack stated.
"Sadly no." Alyssa said "Did you say flying cows!?! That's crazy enough to work! Power to the cows! I've got a plan!"
"Wow you guys sorta' remind me of me." Jack stared at us quizzically.
Us(o.O
"We're daft like Jack!" I yelled.
"On with the plan! Savvy?" Alyssa said.
"That's MY catch phrase!" Jack huffed.
"Ok first we gotta get ready for school...STAGE 1 dun dun dun!" Alyssa said completely ignoring Jack.
"AHHHHHHHH the spy music is freaking me out" I responded. "Okay on with the plan!" Alyssa said disregarding me.
Soon we were both ready.
I wore a black hooded sweatshirt with a cat and fire in the background (the logo of our band) and cargo jeans.
(Author's note: Yes we are both in a band called Fire Ctz Val=drummer Alyssa=Keyboard)
Alyssa had on a blue shirt with penguins on it and jeans.
"Val lemme see your backpack." Alyssa demanded.
I grudgingly handed it over.
"A CD player the potc CD, percussion band music to Pirates of the Caribbean, how did you get that anyway we didn't even play it in band!!!, your sketchbook, the manuscript of your new story...where is the school work?" Alyssa asked.
"I knew I forgot something!" I exclaimed running to my room to get my binders and notebooks.
Alyssa rolled her eyes.
"Interesting, very interesting. Are you sure she's not related to me?" Jack asked.
"Ok I got my school stuff!" I exclaimed.
"Ok stage 2, follow me!" Alyssa said. Alyssa whispered the plan in my ear.
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo... good plan!" I yelled.
We walked into the kitchen, where my mom was cooking breakfast.
"Mom uh..um... did you see the flying cow outside?" I asked nervously, though I was quite used to these outlandish schemes.
"What?" my mom was in the middle of saying but upon seeing Jack she stopped. "Not another crazy dream where cows fly and Jack Sparrow is at my daughter's sleepover." She muttered to herself.
"Phase 2 complete." Alyssa whispered.
Alyssa handed Jack a backpack which she had gotten ready for him while I was restocking my backpack. I saw Jack's hand reach in from his large coat and deposit a bottle of rum in his backpack. He flashed a small drunken smile at me and winked. I new I should've told Alyssa about it but there is something about Jack that makes people do whatever he says, seriously it's like mind control.
"Phase 3: Forgery." Alyssa said, "We need a counterfeit note from the school board. Val your handwriting is horrible" I glared at her. "and mine is to easy to recognize. Jack do you know how to write?"
"What do you take me for, stupid?" Jack asked.
"Uh do you want us to answer that question?" Alyssa answered.
Jack groaned.
"How do you think I became captain of the black pearl then? Yes of course I can write." He snapped back at us.
In not very long we had a pretty believable letter, ok maybe not that believable but it would work for now,
Dear Principle of this fine blue ribbon school of excellence, I have created a test to prove if you are worthy of keeping your title of blue ribbon school. I have sent a pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow, to come to your school. I want to see if you staff can act as if this is normal and treat him as they would another student. If you achieve this then you will be able to keep your title as blue ribbon school, how ever if you do not your title will be taken away.
With best regards, Superintendent of schools
OK I admit it wasn't that believable but it was all we had and I had a feeling it was going to turn out ok. I gulped as we rounded the bend and the huge middle school came into view.
Disclamer: Well just in case you thought we owned Pirates of the Caribbean we don't we don't own Jack or any other characters they are owned by a big company blah blah blah...so on and so fourth but we do own the potc dvd and cd and we have pictures of Jack in our purses and Val has a Johnny Depp signed picture of him on her wall.
Jack: wait.... Did you just say a big moneymaking company owns me?
Us: yeah...
Jack: Does that mean I'm rich?
Us: no...
Jack- NOOOOOOO I will never get true freedom! I say we pillage Disney and burn all of their offices down!
Us: O.o
ON WITH THE STORY Chapter 1: An extremely pleasant surprise
Alyssa and I were watching the Pirates of the Caribbean for the 78 time and we still weren't bored with it. Not that we could ever be bored with staring at Johnny Depp!
We have a slight ok I have to tell the truth...HUMONGOUS obsession with potc...we carry Jack pictures in our wallets we watch potc at least once a week and there is not one second in which we are not listening to the potc CD and I have a signed picture of Jack hung on my wall. We also memorized the whole potc script! Um...we where supposed to write a story for science in which we traveled around the circulatory system and Alyssa and I put Jack in ours!
(Authors note: you can read pirates of the circulatory system and return to the circulatory system because we put them on too! And we really did right it for science...)
Oh no the movie was up to the part where Barbossa stabs Jack. (did I tell you that I can be a little random?) I ran towards the TV and kicked it.
"Whoa I think that was the most random thing you ever did!" Alyssa exclaimed.
"Barbossa deserved it!" I huffed.
"You got to start remembering that they are fictional characters." Alyssa said.
"Jack...Fictional?" I asked.
Alyssa( o.O
"Maybe we should go to back to bed it is 5:00 in the morning and it is a school night and our parents will never trust us with a sleepover again" Alyssa pointed out.
"That might be a good idea..."I thought aloud.
The noise of an alarm clock woke me.
"Garr... must sue school for making me get up at 6:30" I said sleepily.
I sat up and looked down at my floor to see the unconscious body of Captain Jack Sparrow.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"I screamed.
"WHAT!?!" Alyssa asked groggily but when she saw Jack she screamed too.
"NO Disney inc. please don't sue me I didn't kill Johnny Depp I swear!" I yelled.
"If that's Johnny Depp, why is he wearing his pirate costume?" Alyssa asked.
"I told you Jack was not a fictional character!" I said.
Just then Jack raised his hand,"Gimme another rum bartender I'm still sober." He drawled.
"Jack's so cute when he's unconscious." I said dreamily. Alyssa slapped me.
"You're talking about how cute Jack is when we are in this situation?!?"
Jack's eyes suddenly snapped open, "This isn't the bar." He said. He looked at the wall and upon seeing his picture on the wall he yelled "What the bloody hell?"
"Jack is so cute when he's confused." I said.
Alyssa slapped me again.
"Hmmm... so I'm not the only one who gets slapped." Jack mused. "Where am I?"
"You are in the 21first centaury Jack things are very different" Alyssa answered.
"How do you know my name??????" Jack asked.
"That's another thing... you see you were in a movie, the main character, hmm well you don't know what a movie is do you? I'll explain later." Alyssa explained. Jack( o.O
"Right..............."answered Jack.
I giggled, "He's cuter than I imagined."
Jack( o.O
"How are you gonna get back?" Alyssa pondered.
"OOOOOOO how about we ask the flying cows to help?" I asked.
"Did she have too much rum or somtin'?" Jack stated.
"Sadly no." Alyssa said "Did you say flying cows!?! That's crazy enough to work! Power to the cows! I've got a plan!"
"Wow you guys sorta' remind me of me." Jack stared at us quizzically.
Us(o.O
"We're daft like Jack!" I yelled.
"On with the plan! Savvy?" Alyssa said.
"That's MY catch phrase!" Jack huffed.
"Ok first we gotta get ready for school...STAGE 1 dun dun dun!" Alyssa said completely ignoring Jack.
"AHHHHHHHH the spy music is freaking me out" I responded. "Okay on with the plan!" Alyssa said disregarding me.
Soon we were both ready.
I wore a black hooded sweatshirt with a cat and fire in the background (the logo of our band) and cargo jeans.
(Author's note: Yes we are both in a band called Fire Ctz Val=drummer Alyssa=Keyboard)
Alyssa had on a blue shirt with penguins on it and jeans.
"Val lemme see your backpack." Alyssa demanded.
I grudgingly handed it over.
"A CD player the potc CD, percussion band music to Pirates of the Caribbean, how did you get that anyway we didn't even play it in band!!!, your sketchbook, the manuscript of your new story...where is the school work?" Alyssa asked.
"I knew I forgot something!" I exclaimed running to my room to get my binders and notebooks.
Alyssa rolled her eyes.
"Interesting, very interesting. Are you sure she's not related to me?" Jack asked.
"Ok I got my school stuff!" I exclaimed.
"Ok stage 2, follow me!" Alyssa said. Alyssa whispered the plan in my ear.
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo... good plan!" I yelled.
We walked into the kitchen, where my mom was cooking breakfast.
"Mom uh..um... did you see the flying cow outside?" I asked nervously, though I was quite used to these outlandish schemes.
"What?" my mom was in the middle of saying but upon seeing Jack she stopped. "Not another crazy dream where cows fly and Jack Sparrow is at my daughter's sleepover." She muttered to herself.
"Phase 2 complete." Alyssa whispered.
Alyssa handed Jack a backpack which she had gotten ready for him while I was restocking my backpack. I saw Jack's hand reach in from his large coat and deposit a bottle of rum in his backpack. He flashed a small drunken smile at me and winked. I new I should've told Alyssa about it but there is something about Jack that makes people do whatever he says, seriously it's like mind control.
"Phase 3: Forgery." Alyssa said, "We need a counterfeit note from the school board. Val your handwriting is horrible" I glared at her. "and mine is to easy to recognize. Jack do you know how to write?"
"What do you take me for, stupid?" Jack asked.
"Uh do you want us to answer that question?" Alyssa answered.
Jack groaned.
"How do you think I became captain of the black pearl then? Yes of course I can write." He snapped back at us.
In not very long we had a pretty believable letter, ok maybe not that believable but it would work for now,
Dear Principle of this fine blue ribbon school of excellence, I have created a test to prove if you are worthy of keeping your title of blue ribbon school. I have sent a pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow, to come to your school. I want to see if you staff can act as if this is normal and treat him as they would another student. If you achieve this then you will be able to keep your title as blue ribbon school, how ever if you do not your title will be taken away.
With best regards, Superintendent of schools
OK I admit it wasn't that believable but it was all we had and I had a feeling it was going to turn out ok. I gulped as we rounded the bend and the huge middle school came into view.