Whose Line is it Anyway: The Return of Jak II

by Phoenix Flower

DREW: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?". Keira is the winner tonight!

(Cheers and applause. Keira leans back, hands folded behind her head.)

The rest of us are gonna play our favorite game in the whole world: "Hoedown"! With the help of Laura Hall on the piano! Somebody in this section of the audience, tell me something you're looking forward to in Jak 3.

MAN IN AUDIENCE: Riding lizards!

DREW: Riding lizards. So we're gonna sing the Riding Lizards Hoedown. Laura Hall, take it away!

(Laura starts hoedown music. Audience claps in rhythm.)

JAK: I'm gonna ride lizards in the next game. / It should be like riding a flut-flut but not quite the same. / I hope the seat's more comfortable, 'cause let me tell you, mister— / You don't wanna know where I got some real bad blisters!

DREW: This game is the only place where riding lizards belongs. / I tried it elsewhere once, and things went very wrong. / It got really angry and its jaws were snappin'. / I never should have tried that with a komodo dragon.

TORN: There's a lot of stuff in Jak 3 to anticipate, / And it all sounds really, really great. / The lizards are among the things that excite me the most. / By the way, Drew, that rhyme wasn't even close!

DAXTER: I went to ride my lizard just the other day, / But it was being ornery and it would not obey. / I gave it a good scare to get it back in line: / I put the thought of Torn singing "I Feel Pretty" into its mind!

ALL: Into its mi-i-i-i-ind!

(Buzzer.)

DREW: We'll be right back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway?" right after this. Don't go away.

COMMERCIALS

DREW: Welcome back, everybody. We're gonna end the show tonight with everybody reading the credits. I want you guys to read the credits as opera singers warming up for a performance. Thanks for watching, everybody. G'night.

KEIRA: Da-a-an Pa-a-tterson.

JAK: Bruuuuuce Gowers.

TORN: Where's Linda Taylor with my water?

DAXTER: I haven't seen her around; ask Mark Leveson. Alison Sideriiiiiiis!

TORN: Da-a-nny-y Accomando.

JAK: (coughs, puts his hand to his throat) I think I strained my Denise O'Donaghue.

THE END