Chapter4

A long, long, long way from Irvine and Selphie and Laguna was the ff9 hero Zidane with his annoying girlfriend Garnet. For some reason he didn't think she was annoying. Garnet was Queen of Alexandria, but although she and Zidane were married, she refused to let him be king because he was 'too immature'. In other words she wanted to be the only royal.

Zidane was just about to announce his love to Garnet, again, when Marcus came running in screaming

"Help, help the fish has jumped out of the water!" he yelled

"Well put the fish back in the water then!" snapped Garnet as she also was about to say something.

"But if I put it back in I will drown it!" said Marcus with an exasperated expression.

"Fish can't drown you numbskull! EIKO!!!" yelled Garnet as Zidane put his arms around her for the sake of it.

Eiko skipped in the room, "Who do you want me to kill now?"

"No one...at the moment. I just want you to explain to Marcus here that YOU CAN'T DROWN FISH"

"But you can....." moaned Marcus

"Kill him" said Zidane

"HEY! You can't give people orders without my permission!" said Garnet in a snobby tone.

At this moment Zell, Quistis, Squall, Rinoa and Seifer were all thoroughly enjoying themselves at Quistis' surprise party. Zell was enjoying his 23rd hotdog as he happily told Quistis how much he loved her more than everything but hotdogs. Squall was being forced to dance with Rinoa to some jazzy music that Zorn and Thorn were playing.

Seifer, who had recently had his hair put in curlers, who was plotting how to steal Rinoa of Squall, was also having a manicure and a massage.

"Seifer! How much longer are you going to be? I want you to come and dance with me. I feel left out because everyone is talking or dancing." said Edea.

"Just a little longer!" replied Seifer.

"But you said that 2 hours ago!" replied Edea annoyed.

Quistis who was now getting impatient decided to sneak off and open her presents alone. But before she could do that Zell grabbed her and whisked her off to the dance floor.

"Zellll! What are you doing I don't mean to sound rude or anything but you CAN'T DANCE!!!" yelled Quistis wincing as he stepped on her foot.

"HEY!!!!" yelled Rinoa as Zell bumped into her and pushed her further into Squall's arms, "Wait....THANKS!"

"Whatever" said Squall rolling his eyes, but secretly enjoying having his Rinoa so close to him.

Marcus and Eiko who had now walked over to the water and thrown Gerald the fish back in were now walking back hand in hand, despite the fact Eiko was going out with Vivi.

"Do you wanna go out wiv me Eiko? I really like you. You do know that don't you?" asked Marcus.

"Erm...Ok, why not" she replied with a mischievous grin on her face. So what if she was going out with Vivi she could handle 2 guys on the go at once.

Marcus hugged Eiko happily as Gerald the fish jumped out of the water for the second time.

"SEE! Fish can drown! That's why he jumped, to save himself!" cried Marcus letting her go.

"Men are so thick" muttered Eiko.

Zidane was about to move in for the kiss when Garnet turned away quickly picked up a plank of wood, turned around and placed it on Zidane's mouth. He didn't notice as he had his eyes closed. The whole time that Zidane was kissing the plank of wood Garnet was trying to refrain herself from collapsing on the floor and crying with laughter.

Marcus had noticed the commotion as he walked up, with Eiko at a distance, and yelled out to Zidane.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Zidane who had now pulled his lips away from the wood was opening his eyes to find everyone staring at him.

"What are you on about? There's nothing wrong with kissing my girlfriend." But secretly Zidane thought that Garnet needed a shave because her chin was quite bristly.

"You were kissing......" Eiko started to yell but stopped as Garnet glared at her clearly warning her that if she said anything she would have her eaten alive by Quina, "....your girlfriend, yeah"

"Well duh! I am entitled to aren't I?" said Zidane rolling his eyes.

"Not without MY permission! I'M queen" snapped Garnet.

"Oh.....sorry my love" replied Zidane as he hugged at her, "By the way you need to shave"

"It's that sort of comment why I won't let you be king"

"What have I said now?"

"You just said that Garnet needed a shave!" said Eiko