Chapter Ten: Conclusion

"Did it work?"  I heard deep voice asking.  It felt like it was from so far away.  "Annie, is she?"

"I'm getting a pulse."  That voice was closer and definitely female.  I tried to open my eyes, but the lights were so bright I took one glance at the nurse staring down at me and closed them again.  "Jean, Jean, can you hear me?"  She continued and I felt her prying open my lids which were my only defense from the light.

"Ugh…"  I groaned and pulled away just a little in shock.  What was going on?  Did I fall down in the Danger room again?  Everything felt so foggy and confusing.  I gave up the battle to keep out the light and squinted up at her.  I barely knew this woman, but she worked here. 

"Jean?"  I turned my head and saw the owner of the other voice I heard.  Warren.  He was laying on a bed next to mine staring at me, with Henry by his side.  "Oh my God, Jean."  He was slow moving as he rolled off the bed and moved to sit beside mine.  "It worked."

"What," I had to frown a little at the rasp that was my voice, "happened?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"  I didn't care for his answering my question with a question.  Annie helped me sit up carefully when I struggled to do it on my own. 

It took a moment to try and organize my thoughts.  "Magneto was down, and…"  Flashes of pain as I remembered him touching me.  Scott crying…Emma yelling… Logan's scream… flashes of memories that made little sense.

A cool voice from the doorway drew my attention as the soft click of her heels seemed to echo, "You died on us again Jean."  Emma stood at the end of my bed staring at me.  "You died and we waited to see if you'd come back, but you didn't.  This time it was my turn to do a miracle."  She glanced at Warren, who was strangely quiet, and I ignored the touch of Annie as the woman continued to check my vitals.  "We have a healer here that can bring people back from the dead, and no one else thought to call him.  They are so used to you dying they just accepted it."

"Scott?"  I couldn't help but ask.  I stretched out my powers and was a bit surprised at the effort it took.  "He's okay?"

"He's playing recluse now dear.  Hiding away in his trailer blaming himself.  His self pity has really gotten quite tiring."  I would have thought that heartless, but I could look into her eyes and see the truth.  She was worried about him.  Trailer?  I reached out to touch someone's mind outside and Paige was looking at the ruins of the mansion.  It was unliveable.  "Luckily Magneto didn't feel the need to destroy our medlab."  Emma spoke more softly, letting me know she knew what I'd just done.

"How long?"

Henry moved to my side and took over for Annie in checking my blood pressure.  I spared him a glance, but Warren started to talk.  "Emma called me as soon as the phones worked again.  Apparently the magnetic interference took a while to disappate after Magneto died."

"He died?"  It was confusing hearing about how much I missed, and I was still feeling a bit disconnected, like I'd been sedated, but I don't think I had been.

"Logan gave him that warrior death he was hoping for."  Emma moved towards my side, and Annie had to get out of her way.  I could tell the nurse didn't care for that, but I was just happy to see Emma here.  "After he killed you, Logan became a bit distraught."

"We need to give our patient some rest."  Henry must have noticed my blood pressure rising, but I didn't want to be left alone.  "Let's keep this quiet until she's had a nap.  Our loving friends wouldn't be able to contain themselves."

I glanced at Emma and she gave me a soft smile.  "We weren't sure it would work after your being gone for four days, so we didn't tell them what we were doing."  The smile faded.  "Everyone was hurting enough as was.  Get some rest.  I'll see you later."  Scott wasn't going to like that Emma kept this quiet, but I understood why she had, just not how she'd managed.

After a moment Henry was the only one left.  He sat down heavily in the chair by my bed and sighed.  "Jean, I want you to rest and when you get out of that bed it better not be before I release you."

"I haven't even done anything yet Henry."  I gave him a questioning look as I rolled onto my side so I could look at him.

"But I know you, and you'll want to help with the reconstruction.  Once the others find out you are among the living again, I'm giving them all strict orders to not let you."  He wasn't smiling at all.  He stared into my eyes.  "This one was really close Jean.  Warren never tried to heal someone who'd been dead that long and it didn't work the first time.  I really didn't believe it would, but Emma and Warren didn't give up.  Your heart did not want to start."

I didn't know what to say to him, so I just nodded.  I'd be good, not that I felt well enough to go work anyhow, but that had been far to close.

"Do you want me to go get Scott?"  He offered quietly.  I wish he hadn't.  I know Scott was upset, but I wasn't feeling up to seeing him just yet.  He'd want to talk.

"No, not just yet." I felt like I'd pass out any second, and wanted the rest. 

"My God."  I heard it; the loud whisper interrupted my rest.  When I opened my eyes I stared into his face.  He looked stunned, like he wasn't sure this wasn't a dream or nightmare.  "Jean?  I didn't believe her… but… Jean?"

"Hi Scott."  My voice was still weak.  Apparently Emma reached her limit with letting him suffer and told him about this.  I felt better, so I must have had a decent nap, but I didn't feel good enough for this. 

"Oh Jean, I'm so sorry."  His voice cracked as he moved to the side of my bed.  "What Emma and I did was so stupid."  I felt a flash of anger at that.  Here I was coming back to life and he wanted me to forgive him.  It felt rather selfish to me.  I wasn't up for this discussion now, but how could I get out of it?

"Let's not talk about this now."  I was surprised that I wanted to pull away when he took my hand.  I didn't want him touching me, and I hadn't even realized I felt like that.

"I had to get away and think.  You know how I need space when…"  His voice was eager, desperate for me to say I understood.  "I was confused."  He wasn't even listening to me.  I pulled my hand out of his and ignored his surprise that I did that as I struggled into a sitting position, waving his helping hand away.

"When I wanted to talk you left.  I don't feel like talking now."  I glared at him.  "Why is it only you get to make these decisions Scott?  You may be the team leader, but that doesn't extend into our relationship."

"Jean?"  Henry came in a bit quickly, and stopped running when he saw Scott next to my bed staring at me like I'd grown a new head.  "Oh Scott, I see you've found my latest patient."

"And when were you all going to tell me she was alive?"  He had the nerve to sound angry.  That's right Scott, hide behind being leader when things don't go your way, I thought with bitter sarcasm.

"When she was up for visitors, which she's not."  I was surprised to see the doctor stand up tall and stare down my husband.  "Her heart can't take a lot of stress just yet.  Perhaps you should leave and let her rest."  Henry then ignored Scott and moved to my side.  It was interesting to see Scott being treated the way some people had been treating Emma.  As far as I was concerned I was grateful to Henry for putting the blame where it belonged and giving me an excuse to put this talk off.  "Jean, how do you feel?"  He pulled up a chair and sat by my side.  Scott stood stiffly while Henry took his time checking my vitals again.  "I don't like how fast your heart monitor was going.  You need to take it easy."  He scolded me.  "We just got you back, and I don't want to lose you again.  I'm going to restrict visitation on you." 

Thank you  I sent to him as Scott looked nervous and guilty that he'd risked my health.

I'm not exaggerating that much Jean.  Take it easy.  He sent to me then turned to face Scott.  "I'm going to give her a sedative.  Perhaps you should go tell the others the good news, and that I'll send news up when she can have visitors again."

"I could stay…"  He spoke softly and I sighed. 

"No, I don't think that's a good idea."  I spoke gently, but Scott looked like I'd hurt him pretty badly.  He left without saying much after that, and I felt a twinge of pain knowing that he was probably going to Emma.

Once we were alone Henry seemed to relax.  "I can order him away until you're ready."  He gave me a weak smile of support.  "Anyone else you'd prefer to avoid?"

"No… no, I'm fine."

"So our Ms. Frost is still welcome?"  He asked and I looked up into his curious eyes.  Henry was always a smart man.

"Emma's always welcome."  I felt a bit less hopeful that visit would happen.  She had Scott now. "If she decides to visit."

"I'm sure she will."  He patted my leg gently and then reached out to the IV I had in my arm.  "I was serious about the rest."  Was all I heard before the drugs put me back under.

I stared at the television Henry dragged down here for me as it played Beauty and the Beast.  We'd both had a chuckle when he pulled that one out.  He didn't want me watching the news, which did concern me.  Was it so bad he thought it would upset me too much?  Just the thought of it upset me.

I heard the door opened and I tensed up worrying that it was Scott again.  He'd come by to see me earlier and Henry sent him away.  When I saw Emma instead I relaxed.  "So how are you feeling?"  Emma asked softly as she moved to my side.  I noticed that Henry just glanced up from his work across the room and then went back to it.  Not at all the reaction that Scott had gotten.

"I'm feeling a bit stronger."  But not strong enough to leave.  Even I could tell that.  "And Henry hasn't been the best company today, so I'm a tad bored."

"Well, he did promise the government his research dear."  Emma moved to sit beside my bed, making it look like she'd stay a while.  "And I doubt they could read his handwriting."  She glanced at the television then turned to give me a conspiratorial grin.  Her voice dropped just a tad as she leaned closer.  "No dancing furniture for you, at least for a few more days."

I blushed just a bit as I could hear my heart monitor jump just a bit when she did that.  It just felt so intimate having her leaning close to me like that.  "I know, otherwise I would have danced this bed out of here hours ago."

"If I could take you out to the Rose garden I would."  Emma gave me a gentle smile.  "It would have been fair, but you are hooked up to more machinery than I was.  Maybe later."

I gave her a small smile, even though I felt like beaming with that acknowledgment that she wasn't going to abandon me down here.  Maybe there still was hope here.  "That would be nice."

"I could use a break."  She turned to face the television.  "All that digging through the mansion trying to salvage things is hardly fun.  Do you mind if I stay down here and watch the movie with you?"  Like I was going to say no to pleasant company?  She stayed and made the occasional amusing comment about what happened on the screen.  It was the best I'd felt since I woke up again, but I could feel the tension of what wasn't being talked about.  Doubtlessly Emma was told that talking about Scott was off limits, since thinking about him tended to upset me.  I thought people were afraid to upset me before when they were concerned about the Phoenix Force, but this concern about my heart made it worse.

Once the credits started to show Emma stood up and stretched.  "Warren is planning to come down later and give you another transfusion.  We'll see if we can't heal you a bit faster."  She patted my leg through the covers.  "I better get back to work, before anyone realizes that I've snuck off."

"You have to sneak away to see me?"  I asked and noticed the shadow in her eyes for a moment before she covered it.  Of course she wouldn't want Scott to realize that she was visiting me.  It was best if he didn't realize that I was having visitors but he wasn't allowed to be one of them. 

"The school is really a mess.  We are trying to salvage what we can before we start reconstruction."  She sighed, "It gives me a good cover.  As far as everyone is concerned I spent this last hour going through the ruins that were my rooms and came out with nothing salvageable." 

"And my room?"  I could see from the look on her face that it was all gone.

"Once you're up to it, we can go shopping again."  I nodded but it didn't help the sting I felt at losing my photos, and the other things that just couldn't ever be replaced.  I bet if I hadn't moved near the attic some of it might have survived.  Our old bedroom had been on the ground floor.

"I'll come by after dinner."  She spoke softly. 

A nap and another movie later Warren came in to try the transfusion for a third time.  I felt a bit better, and from the look on Henry's face when he looked me over, it was helping.  "A little longer and you'll be up for that stroll in the gardens."  Henry smiled at me and winked.  I blushed at his knowing look, and a quick glance at Warren showed that he didn't catch it.  Good.

Emma's post dinner visit was very brief, and I felt a bit disappointed, but she did promise to come back the next day.

Shortly before lunch Emma came in and my smile slowly faded as I noticed the expression on her face.  She didn't look very happy as she came to the side of my bed.  "Henry can I talk with Jean alone?"  She asked him before talking to me.  I could feel the buzz of telepathic communication going on before he left.  He didn't say anything, but the look he gave me was supportive.

"What is it?"  I asked as I watched her playing with an envelope in her hands.

"I picked up the mail and…"  Emma handed over the envelope she had and I turned it over to see the lawyers office name in the corner, and Scott's name as addressee.  "Are you sure about this?"  Emma asked softly.  "It isn't too late to stop it."

I felt the thick envelope, knowing what papers were in there.  When I looked up I noticed I had Emma's full attention.  "I'm sure."  I spoke quietly. 

"He'll be down here as soon as he gets this."  So she was warning me.  I nodded. 

"Henry thinks I can handle stress now."  I muttered, not that I wanted to handle this particular stress.  I had a feeling Emma had heard that.  I wouldn't doubt that she'd been hiding this piece of mail for a while.  When that suspicion hit me I checked the postage date.  Funny how it was mailed out over a week ago.

"So I should give it to him?"  She didn't sound happy with this, and really it wasn't her place.  I couldn't ask her to deliver my divorce papers.

"No, I can handle it."  I sighed.  I guess it was time to get dressed in something more than a hospital gown.  Could I do this here?  Or should I go up?  Henry had removed the machinery monitoring me after Warren's last visit.

When I started to move Emma moved back so I could swing my legs over the side of the bed.  "Do you think you could wait until I have a chance to talk with him?"  I looked into her blue eyes and could see she'd lost a bit of her pride in asking that.  It confused me for a moment, until I realized what she might need to talk to him about. 

"Okay."  I stopped my movement and just sat there awkwardly for a moment.  She was still thinking about him.  My nightmare could still come true.  At least I didn't have to pack, I didn't own anything anymore.  When she turned to leave I couldn't let her go.  "Emma,"  It sounded a bit too pleading to my ears.  She stopped but didn't turn around.  I took some time to just stare at her tense back.  Truth, now or never… I took a deep breath.  "I died twice that day, and each time I thought of you."

She nodded and I could hear her breath hitch a bit, but she kept moving for the door.  "I just need to know Jean."  Know what?  I thought it but I couldn't ask.  She was already gone.

I could have had dinner with the others.  It was barbeque, and would be for a while, as they all had to rough it.  I was sick of these four walls, but had Henry bring me my dinner anyhow.  I told myself I was avoiding the confrontation with Scott because Emma asked me to wait, but really I was grateful for the excuse.

It didn't stop me from torturing myself with my imagination as I wondered how Emma's talk with Scott would go.  I imagined him telling her that he'd fallen out of love with me, and he wanted her.  That he loved her.  I knew he could be convincing, that he held a certain charm.  I hadn't fallen in love with him in the beginning for no reason, he was attractive in many ways.  Ways that no longer were enough for me, but might be for her.

It was a couple hours after dinner when Emma's mental touch interrupted my crossword puzzle.  Jean, he's on the way.  Her mental voice was so distant I couldn't tell what she was feeling or what might have happened.  I had to push that out of my mind as I moved to change in the bathroom.  I wasn't doing this in my pajamas.

I came out just as the door opened and Scott came in.  He stared at me and my choice of clothes, all I had left really was my uniform.  It wasn't quiet the wrong message, but still far more blatant than I'd wanted to be.    

"Hello Scott."  I spoke as I moved to the chair, not the bed.  I wasn't feeling very good.  My stomach felt rebellious, and my hands shook just a little. 

"I heard you were up for visitors."  He seemed cautious as he studied me.  I noticed his eyes travel to the envelope I was playing with in my hands.  It made me set it down.  I had to work up to that, even if part of me would love to just hand it to him and leave.  I had things I needed to say, things he'd refused to listen to before. 

A quick glance around showed that Henry had left during my trip to change.  Emma might have warned him too.  "I am feeling a bit better.  If I had a room to go to I would have left already, but I figure I have it better here."  I gave him a weak smile.

Scott moved to the side of another bed and grabbed the chair, dragging it over by me.  He seemed a bit subdued this time.  My refusing to see him obviously woke him up to the fact all wasn't well.  I could have waited for him to talk, but the words seemed to bubble out of me.  "You lied to me.  I asked you point blank if something was going on between you and Emma and you looked me in the eye and lied to my face."  He just sat there with a stone expression, like I was some sort of villain whose insane accusations he'd have to endure.  That only fueled my anger.  "How could you think that wasn't an affair?  Did you think I'd approve?  Did you think I'd just look the other way?  No, you knew it would upset me."  I took a deep breath, to try and keep myself from yelling.  His stoic act wasn't welcome.  He was still trying to control this situation, this time with his silence.  "If I'd done something like this, you would have called it an affair."

"I was confused.  I have all these feelings from my possession that…"

"Don't tell me I don't understand you bastard."  I growled at him, and that seemed to startle him.  "If you'd talked to me you would have realized that I understand.  Take responsibility for what you've done.  This I was confused, I made a mistake forgive me crap isn't gonna cut it."

His jaw tensed, "Fine, how about you were turning into something I couldn't relate to anymore?  Do you want to hear about how I felt watching you become this thing?"  He waved his hand at the fire I hadn't noticed burning around me.  The Phoenix Force.  "You were losing your humanity, and I couldn't do anything."

"You didn't even try."  My eyes burned, but I made the effort to pull the fire in.  Thing, that made me sick and hurt in a way I wasn't prepared to deal with now.  "I'm going through just as much if not more than you, and you didn't see me sneaking around behind your back.  I respected you too much to treat you like that, and it hurt that you think so little of me that you'd do this to me."

"How was I supposed to help you?  You were becoming some weird destructive god."

"You should have asked that earlier."  I refused to let myself cry now.  "Instead of sneaking around behind my back.  I had to find out from my students, MY STUDENTS, that my husband was being unfaithful.  Do you have any idea how that felt?  How many on the team knew?  You had everyone lying to me."  I shook my head and stared at him.  "Now I have to wonder where I fit in if even my friends can't be trusted.  Did Logan know?  Henry?  Who was lying to me?"  I didn't expect an answer, but he needed to realize how much this hurt.  How could I live with people that would do this to me.  I wanted to be able to forgive them, and I'd try, but this was more than just Scott's betrayal.  His eyes widened and I imagined he was seeing how this would affect the team, not how it affected me.  How betrayed I felt.

"I didn't ever actually touch her."  His sad excuse just disgusted me. 

I shoved the paper across the table toward him.  "You ran when I needed to talk to you, and you lied to me for months."  I watched him hesitantly pick it up and turn it around to see the return address.  His eyes widened.  The bastard had the nerve to look surprised as he opened it to see the thick stack of papers.  "I would have told you I was considering this but you never called either.  I'm done.  I can't do this anymore."

"Jean."  He stared up from the papers at me, his voice breathless with shock.  "You can't possibly mean…"

"I want a divorce."  My voice shook as I said that.  "You were so fucking arrogant thinking you could just run away and decide what woman you wanted.  I made my own decision."  I glared at him, "And if Emma learned anything from this she'd make the same one.  Scott, you fucked up, and you fucked up big."  I could see his lips press together at my vocabulary, he was always a bit prudish about that, but really, it was the best way to describe the mess he'd made.  I shouldn't bring Emma into this, but I had to say it.  "She needed you, and you abandoned her too.  What did you do to make anyone want you Scott?  You can't treat women like this and expect us to take it.  To wait around for you to decide to love us… it doesn't work that way.  I was planning your mistress' funeral Scott, I was doing that alone.  She deserved better."

He looked a bit stunned at my bringing Emma into this.  "But I do love you Jean.  I made a mistake."  Oh, God… don't tell me he's going to ignore what he did to her.  What he did to her hurt me too, but he wouldn't understand that.  I thought he was a better man than he proved to be.

"That's a shame Scott, because I don't love you like that anymore."  I managed to say it with a cold voice.  My heart screamed at the cruelty and the way his face fell.  I shouldn't have to still love him, shouldn't have to still care.  "It is over.  Just sign the papers."

He took the pen and glared at me, like I was the one to betray him.  He wrote large and sloppy as he barely looked at the papers, and then he tossed the pen across the room in a childish tantrum.  "Fine."  I could see his chin shake a bit as he fought tears and turned to storm out of the room.  I waited another few moments before I finally let my own fall.

Henry didn't come back right away, but he came back quickly enough for me to suspect he hadn't gone far.  His large sad eyes held too much sympathy for me to look at.  "I didn't know, I suspected, but I didn't know.  I'm sorry."  He whispered and my tears started up with more vengeance than before.  I held out my arms and he came to me for a hug.  I clung to him, letting him know that I forgave him. 

It wasn't until very late at night, or early in the morning that something else dawned on me.  Emma had to know that Scott had picked me.  She'd wanted her answer before I served the papers, and it had to rip her heart out.  No wonder I didn't see her later.  I hoped that this wouldn't hurt our relationship, that she wouldn't take this out on me.  It took me a while to fall back to sleep after that, and I slept poorly for the few hours until it must be daylight outside. 

I need to go shopping, I thought as I once again put my uniform on and snuck out around Henry's tired form.  He'd fallen asleep on his desk again.  The elevator had a few buttons covered over in tape, the floors that didn't exist anymore.  I hit the top one, the one that would get me above ground.

Seeing the destruction with my own eyes made it more horrifying.  A path had been made through the mess, but as I got outside and looked back it was obvious the entire building was a lost cause.  The sun was coming up and I could see trailers and tents spread out across the lawn.  I really did have it better in the medlab. 

I was careful as I walked around the tents and moved toward the lake.  I was almost there when I felt I wasn't alone.  Her eyes were staring at the sky like they'd answer her questions, and her arms were wrapped around her as if keeping the cold out.  With her uniform she may actually be keeping the cold out, but she looked so fragile.

"Emma."  I spoke quietly.  She turned a bit quickly, I'd surprised her.  The tears in her eyes made my heart ache.  Scott was a fool.

"He made up his mind."  She gave me a weak smile.  "Foolish boy should have checked to see if you were still on the market."

"I'm sorry."  I took another step toward her.  I'm sorry he hurt her, that she's feeling this pain.  I'm not sorry that he won't have her though, and her slight glare showed that she knew that.

"You were right.  He did just give some lame apology and his decision.  Maybe if you hadn't died in front of him it would have been different, but…"  Her fists clenched and her voice rose a little, "But I died too, and I didn't see him…"  Her tears broke my standstill.  I moved to her, and whether she wanted it or not, I pulled her into a hug.

"He's a fool to not see…"  I muttered softly, and her tense body started to relax, "what I see."

"I wasn't sure I wanted to forgive him, but I did."  She whispered.  "I did, and he just…"

"Well now you know."  It hurt that she'd sought this information out before she'd give me my answer, before she'd consider me.

"That wasn't what I was waiting to know."  She pulled back and stared into my eyes.  "I heard no one could split you two apart, that once he talked to you… you'd work it out.  Everyone was so convinced that you'd work it out."

"Why?"  I didn't understand.  It sounded like the same thing to me.

"Because I hurt you enough.  If you could salvage this, I had to let you."  Emma pulled away from me and took a few steps toward the water.  "We both needed to know what he came up with.  You would have wondered too."

"His decision isn't the one I was waiting for."

She gave a weak chuckle.  "You realize people will talk."  I could see a smile as I moved to stand beside her.  When I reached out my hand, she took it.  We both stood on the waters edge watching the sunrise.