Disclaimer: I now have a very cool pirate T-shirt that I bought at the
Flogging Molly concert, but still no assassins. Quotes were found in
various sources that I don't want to name, might be taken out of context.
Review, you don't want to make the pygmies cry do you?
I am happy dancing my little pygmy ass off right now. I got my first flame. WAHOO!!! I am now officially a controversial writer. *HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE* If anyone wants to read it, it's for chapter 2 and written by Anonymous (hm, interesting pen name)
So, in honor of all those who dislike my work so much that they feel the need to bitch about it to me, here is the last installment. Enjoy, I sure do
Chapter 4: Homolytic Bond Cleavage (breaking away from our heterosexual feelings)
"the strength of the bond is measured by the energy required to break it, called Bond Dissociation Energy"
It's late, I'm sitting in the kitchen drinking tea laced with whisky, thinking about my life. I hear some shuffling and Yoji stumbles in, drunk after a night of partying. Man I'm horny. Suddenly I don't care about the consequences jumping into bed with him could have.
I smile seductively at Yoji over my teacup, I'm tired and sexually frustrated, not to mention a little drunk. Yoji licks his lips and leans over to place a soft kiss on my lips. I'm shocked for a moment, if I had known this was how he would react I would have smiled sooner. I deepen it, and soon our tongues are battling for dominance. Yoji wraps his arms around my back and I thread my fingers through his hair.
Soon I become aware of an extra set of hands working on my pants. I look down and see a drunk, already naked Omi, struggling with my belt buckle. A part of me is telling me to stop him, this is wrong and he will regret it in the morning, but the functional part of my brain has always wanted to have an orgy and I help him with the buckle. I look over and see Ken helping Yoji similarly. The two of them must have been woken up by Yoji and come down to investigate, forgetting to dress because of the intoxication brought on by their little "we don't have to work tomorrow, let's spend the day in bed with a hangover" party.
Soon we were all naked and touching. Teasing and tasting and prepping each other, no one favoring one partner over another. Things where just getting interesting when the door swung open and in walked Momoe-san.
I started to apologize, explain the situation, when I realized that the glint in her eyes wasn't horror or hatred, but poorly masked lust. Soon she had joined into the fray.
Momoe-san was quite a wild cat in her youth, and very popular due to her convenient height. She is used to having multiple partners. It wasn't long until we are all benefiting from her years of experience.
The night wore on and we took turns pleasuring each other, Momoe-san was indeed very talented, Ken commented, half joking, that we might all decide to become straight after this. After a long night, we collapsed on the kitchen floor, a tangle of limbs. Yoji leaned over to claim my lips as...
RAN: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That was the scariest dream I have ever had. Thank the gods my bed is still clean and dry or I would have to kill myself in humiliation. I don't care if I'm the only one who knows.
OMI: Aya-kun?
RAN: I'm fine, go back to bed.
That came out a little harsher then I intended. It isn't his fault I have a deeply perverted mind. I wonder what the hell brought that on. I would like the record to show right now that I have never been in the slightest bit attracted to Omi (who I consider to be physically twelve, making Ken a big pervert) Ken (who is about as intelligent as a rock and more often then not reeks of various unpleasant things) or Momoe-san (who though very attractive for an old lady, is still a woman and I am gayer then one of Yoji's clubbing outfits).
Obviously the dream was my subconscious trying to do me in. I wouldn't be surprised if Swartz was involved. (never mind that they are probably dead and have no quarrel with us)
I need to calm my nerves. I go down to the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea. Without a second thought I put a hearty dollop of whiskey in it.
I sit there drinking my tea and trying very hard not to think about my dream when I hear shuffling and Yoji stumbles in.
I run up to my room and lock the door.
The next morning I was tired. It was quite obvious that the dream was a result of my sexual tension.
I'm going to confess today. As hard as it is I will shed my emotionless exterior and bare my heart to him, I can't take this anymore
YOJI: Morning Aya
RAN: ...(I can't do this)
YOJI: Aya, there's something that's been bothering me for a while that I want to talk to you about.
RAN: ...(I'm keeping a calm expression but I want to scream, he's going to tell me to leave him alone)
YOJI: Lately, I've noticed some...things about you, and I tried to ignore it but...
RAN: ...(shit here it comes)
YOJI: I think I'm in love with you.
RAN: ...(EEEEP he LOVES ME YAY!!! Still glaring though)
YOJI: I understand if you aren't into that, but I was kind of hoping you would be open-minded and give it a try?
RAN...(scans Yoji head to toe) Hn. Why not? (WAHOO, I wish there was room for me to do a cartwheel)
YOJI: Really? That is so great, you won't regret it Aya. Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
RAN: Fine, I'll be ready to leave at 7:30
YOJI: Perfect. Oh and Aya, thanks (leans in and brushes his lips over mine)
YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!! That was so wonderfully wonderful. I got Yoji and I didn't have to beg. I feel a little bad about making him beg, but I'll make it up to him later.
No sexual deprivation induced dreams for me tonight.
That reminds me, I better burn this journal before the others get curious and finds out about my little dream.
***
OMI: Ken do you have a death wish? What are you thinking posting Aya- kun's journal online?
KEN: No worries Omi, I used a pen name, he'll never know it was me.
OMI: Who else do we know that has access to Aya-kun's room? Besides, you invented the bisexual pygmies to protect you from him, remember?
KEN: But he doesn't know that.
OMI: You have little pygmy cutouts all over our room, your screen saver says "the pygmies are watching you Aya" and you constantly sending him letters that say "Give Ken and Omi the day off or else" and signing them B.I. Pygmie. It's worse then your little Klingon phase. Aya is going to kill you.
KEN: Yeah, well Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam (today is a good day to die. Yes that is actually Klingon, and yes, I know I'm a dork)
OMI: Sometimes I wonder why I put up with you.
-end
I'm sorry. About two seconds after I published my first chapter I thought of the perfect ending and though I tried to hold off as long as possible, I can't do it anymore. My next fic though, I plan to write a monster fic. One of those twenty chapter ones that it takes 6 months to update. Okay maybe only 15 chapters. Well, really more like 10.
Review, you don't want to make the pygmies cry do you?
I am happy dancing my little pygmy ass off right now. I got my first flame. WAHOO!!! I am now officially a controversial writer. *HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE* If anyone wants to read it, it's for chapter 2 and written by Anonymous (hm, interesting pen name)
So, in honor of all those who dislike my work so much that they feel the need to bitch about it to me, here is the last installment. Enjoy, I sure do
Chapter 4: Homolytic Bond Cleavage (breaking away from our heterosexual feelings)
"the strength of the bond is measured by the energy required to break it, called Bond Dissociation Energy"
It's late, I'm sitting in the kitchen drinking tea laced with whisky, thinking about my life. I hear some shuffling and Yoji stumbles in, drunk after a night of partying. Man I'm horny. Suddenly I don't care about the consequences jumping into bed with him could have.
I smile seductively at Yoji over my teacup, I'm tired and sexually frustrated, not to mention a little drunk. Yoji licks his lips and leans over to place a soft kiss on my lips. I'm shocked for a moment, if I had known this was how he would react I would have smiled sooner. I deepen it, and soon our tongues are battling for dominance. Yoji wraps his arms around my back and I thread my fingers through his hair.
Soon I become aware of an extra set of hands working on my pants. I look down and see a drunk, already naked Omi, struggling with my belt buckle. A part of me is telling me to stop him, this is wrong and he will regret it in the morning, but the functional part of my brain has always wanted to have an orgy and I help him with the buckle. I look over and see Ken helping Yoji similarly. The two of them must have been woken up by Yoji and come down to investigate, forgetting to dress because of the intoxication brought on by their little "we don't have to work tomorrow, let's spend the day in bed with a hangover" party.
Soon we were all naked and touching. Teasing and tasting and prepping each other, no one favoring one partner over another. Things where just getting interesting when the door swung open and in walked Momoe-san.
I started to apologize, explain the situation, when I realized that the glint in her eyes wasn't horror or hatred, but poorly masked lust. Soon she had joined into the fray.
Momoe-san was quite a wild cat in her youth, and very popular due to her convenient height. She is used to having multiple partners. It wasn't long until we are all benefiting from her years of experience.
The night wore on and we took turns pleasuring each other, Momoe-san was indeed very talented, Ken commented, half joking, that we might all decide to become straight after this. After a long night, we collapsed on the kitchen floor, a tangle of limbs. Yoji leaned over to claim my lips as...
RAN: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That was the scariest dream I have ever had. Thank the gods my bed is still clean and dry or I would have to kill myself in humiliation. I don't care if I'm the only one who knows.
OMI: Aya-kun?
RAN: I'm fine, go back to bed.
That came out a little harsher then I intended. It isn't his fault I have a deeply perverted mind. I wonder what the hell brought that on. I would like the record to show right now that I have never been in the slightest bit attracted to Omi (who I consider to be physically twelve, making Ken a big pervert) Ken (who is about as intelligent as a rock and more often then not reeks of various unpleasant things) or Momoe-san (who though very attractive for an old lady, is still a woman and I am gayer then one of Yoji's clubbing outfits).
Obviously the dream was my subconscious trying to do me in. I wouldn't be surprised if Swartz was involved. (never mind that they are probably dead and have no quarrel with us)
I need to calm my nerves. I go down to the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea. Without a second thought I put a hearty dollop of whiskey in it.
I sit there drinking my tea and trying very hard not to think about my dream when I hear shuffling and Yoji stumbles in.
I run up to my room and lock the door.
The next morning I was tired. It was quite obvious that the dream was a result of my sexual tension.
I'm going to confess today. As hard as it is I will shed my emotionless exterior and bare my heart to him, I can't take this anymore
YOJI: Morning Aya
RAN: ...(I can't do this)
YOJI: Aya, there's something that's been bothering me for a while that I want to talk to you about.
RAN: ...(I'm keeping a calm expression but I want to scream, he's going to tell me to leave him alone)
YOJI: Lately, I've noticed some...things about you, and I tried to ignore it but...
RAN: ...(shit here it comes)
YOJI: I think I'm in love with you.
RAN: ...(EEEEP he LOVES ME YAY!!! Still glaring though)
YOJI: I understand if you aren't into that, but I was kind of hoping you would be open-minded and give it a try?
RAN...(scans Yoji head to toe) Hn. Why not? (WAHOO, I wish there was room for me to do a cartwheel)
YOJI: Really? That is so great, you won't regret it Aya. Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
RAN: Fine, I'll be ready to leave at 7:30
YOJI: Perfect. Oh and Aya, thanks (leans in and brushes his lips over mine)
YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!! That was so wonderfully wonderful. I got Yoji and I didn't have to beg. I feel a little bad about making him beg, but I'll make it up to him later.
No sexual deprivation induced dreams for me tonight.
That reminds me, I better burn this journal before the others get curious and finds out about my little dream.
***
OMI: Ken do you have a death wish? What are you thinking posting Aya- kun's journal online?
KEN: No worries Omi, I used a pen name, he'll never know it was me.
OMI: Who else do we know that has access to Aya-kun's room? Besides, you invented the bisexual pygmies to protect you from him, remember?
KEN: But he doesn't know that.
OMI: You have little pygmy cutouts all over our room, your screen saver says "the pygmies are watching you Aya" and you constantly sending him letters that say "Give Ken and Omi the day off or else" and signing them B.I. Pygmie. It's worse then your little Klingon phase. Aya is going to kill you.
KEN: Yeah, well Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam (today is a good day to die. Yes that is actually Klingon, and yes, I know I'm a dork)
OMI: Sometimes I wonder why I put up with you.
-end
I'm sorry. About two seconds after I published my first chapter I thought of the perfect ending and though I tried to hold off as long as possible, I can't do it anymore. My next fic though, I plan to write a monster fic. One of those twenty chapter ones that it takes 6 months to update. Okay maybe only 15 chapters. Well, really more like 10.