So, I lied about two things: Updating within a year and betaing this chapter. I did neither. I've been thinking about my GG fics for a while and in a sudden burst of self ass-kickery I looked through all my notes and patched this together quicksmart. Which is why a) it's so much shorter than my usual chapters and b) it's kinda choppy. It's 230am Saturday at the mo and I just got back from the most ass kicking concert and I'm tired as all get out so I'm going to write this up as well as I can and when I wake up later I'll smooth it out. Hopefully the result will be something worth reading.

And here's a quick sum up on account of it's been a year: Rory and Tristan were once engaged; broke up for some vague reasons which last chapter we discovered had to do with Rory's insecurities. There was a New Year's shindig at Emily and Richard's place where Rory and Tristan ended up in bed together (they weren't naughty though, it was angst and stuff). Here is the continuation.

XXX

"I never told Hollister anything. You know that, don't you?"

The fact that he wasn't even asking if she knew, the fact that he was saying it as something he had realized quite some time ago and had accepted, if somewhat bitterly, hurt more than Rory could have imagined.

Without so much as turning to face him, she nodded warily, eyes intently watching the wall before her. Tristan's arms were still around her warm skin, and the quiet conversational tone he was using reminded her of similar mornings when they would lie wrapped up in one another, talking of nothing and everything. She had lived for those mornings, the knowledge that she was safe and loved and the promise of forever. It was a familiarity that was, quite frankly, unnerving.

If this kept on he might actually succeed in talking her back into a relationship. Unless that wasn't what was on his mind. He has after all been fooling around with that Charlotte or whatever her name was; maybe he was just after some closure? Maybe he was moving on and just needed to get over this last little hiccup before committing seriously to that skanky whore?

Why didn't he want to rekindle their relationship? What an ass. Had she spent fourteen months with him for nothing? Rory slipped out of his embrace, angry that he was such a womanizing prick and that he was the sweetest man she had ever met and that she was a bit irrational. What an ass. Although in all reality, what an ass. She allowed herself a moment to admire the outline of his behind in the mirror on the opposite wall.

More than a little miffed at her actions Tristan sat up too, leaning against the headboard and raising an eyebrow, "So let me get this straight. You knew I didn't tell him, yet you broke off our engagement regardless? We were together over a year Rory; don't you think you at least owe me the truth?"

Oh, yes. He was definitely after closure. But how could she provide him that when she herself didn't know the reasons. Well, she knew the many tiny reasons. The constant arguments and petty fights, his irritating irritatingness, her anal retentive attention to detail that drove him insane... but that wasn't enough to completely destroy them, was it?

She wasn't about to admit that all this pain and heart break was caused by her idiocy.

"Fuck."

Rory watched as Tristan made his way to the door, stopping only briefly to put on his shoes.

"This whole time I thought it was me. I thought I was the one responsible for fucking everything up. There hasn't been a day that's gone by I didn't ask myself what I did wrong, how I could have made it better. But there was nothing I could have done, was there? You wouldn't have let me. Everything? All this? It's all on you, Gilmore. I'm done."

He didn't even look back as he closed the door behind him.

He was right. Of course he was right. Being with Tristan had always felt so temporary, even at their happiest. She always felt like something would come along, some tiny thing would tip the scales and they'd slide right off the edge. And when they hit the floor, who'd be there to pick up the pieces? The only person who could help her would be lying broken right beside her.

In hindsight, it was quite clearly this that had led Rory to end things the way she had. And it was this that was responsible for the feeling of guilt that plagued her ever since.

It was her fault.

XXX

"How did you find Peter, Rory?"

She should have figured the conversation would turn to this one way or another. In fact, she would have been seriously concerned over her grandmother's health if the questioning of her love life hadn't of begun within the next few moments.

Now, how to go about answering the question neutrally?

"Everything was going swell until Tristan showed up, beat the crap out of him and I spent the rest of the night crying in Tristan's arms where I realized that I may still have feelings for him."

Okay, maybe not. She wasn't ready to admit her feelings toward her ex-fiancée aloud just yet. Least of all to her grandmother. Especially when the admittance of such feelings would lead to more questioning and reprimands and the admission that these were not, in fact, newly discovered feelings.

So she just settled for a, "He was very nice, Grandma."

"Yes, he is a very respectable man. Very successful too, isn't that right Richard? Did you know that, Rory?"

No, Peter wasn't the type to brag about his job and how much money it earned him. But she had her suspicions that he wasn't exactly hard up for cash; as if Emily would set her up with anyone under the six figure mark.

"We didn't really talk about our jobs."

Emily took this as a good sign. But rather than being content with it, she had to pursue the matter further, "And what did you talk about?"

What did they talk about? She couldn't remember, all she knew was that given a few weeks she could very easily fall in love with him. A dreamy expression crossed her face until she remembered that she might (or might not) be in love with Tristan, and she had had her fair share of being caught between two men.

Fortunately, Richard chose this moment to make himself heard. He was a firm believer of not saying anything unless it either brought you into a great deal of money, or kept you out of situations you'd rather not be in. This had more to do with the latter, as he recognized his granddaughter's plight. Anyone who had been in the firing line of Emily's questioning would gladly help out another in the same predicament.

"Emily, I do believe this is precisely what you promised Lorelei you would not do, as a New Year's resolution."

"I'm not meddling, Richard. I'm merely asking Rory. You don't mind, do you dear?"

"Actually Grandma... can I have some more cake?"

"Of course. Abigail! Bring Rory another slice, will you? And for god's sake, is it too much to ask for a decent cup of tea?"

Abigail scurried toward the kitchen to carry out her orders.

"When will he call you?"

Rory glanced up, eyes widening, "Who?"

Emily nodded, her suspicions confirmed. Nevertheless, she carried on, "Peter, dear. When will Peter be calling you again?"

"I suppose that's up to him," she trailed off, not really wanting to expand on the matter any further.

"And Tristan?"

Rory choked on her coffee.

"What, uh, what about Tristan?"

"That WAS his car pulling out of the driveway this morning, wasn't it? He drives a black one, doesn't he Richard?"

"What kind of car the boy drives doesn't concern me, Emily. Nor should it concern you. Who Rory see's is her business." He hadn't bothered looking up once from the paper he was reading, feeling the matter was inane and not wishing to discuss it any further.

"Oh, I'm not seeing Tristan. He was just-"

"Honestly, Rory, you and Tristan really ought to stop this." Emily cast a disapproving look in the general direction of the driveway, as if he was waiting for her there, "That boy is nothing but trouble."

She really hated the way her grandmother referred to Tristan as a boy. It was her way of not only disapproving of him, but degrading him further, constantly reminding Rory that she was too good for the likes of him. Rory desperately wanted to remind her grandmother that up until the two had broken it off, Tristan was at the top of her favorite people list. In fact, Rory would bank on him being in the top five, possibly even above Lorelei AND her interior decorator.

But defending him would mean getting into the argument she had been trying to avoid all morning, so she said nothing. This, however, allowed Emily leeway to continue her tirade against Tristan. Halfway through the part where Tristan was responsible for everything that had gone wrong in Rory's life, she couldn't take it anymore.

"It wasn't his fault."

Emily stopped mid sentence, looking at her granddaughter questioningly, "I beg your pardon?"

"The reason we broke up, grandma. It was my fault-"

"Nonsense, Rory. I know exactly what happened; your mother gave me all the details."

"The details are wrong. Mom doesn't know what happened, you don't know what happened. Damnit, Tristan barely knows what happened! For months you've hated him for a reason you were so sure of, and it's completely unfair! He doesn't deserve that." She calmed down, realizing her own words. "He doesn't deserve that."

What went unsaid was that the reason for Tristan being labeled the anti-Christ within the Gilmore household was completely her fault. She hadn't bothered to correct what they thought was the truth, knowing if she did how disappointed they would all be in her.

Emily sat in silence, taking in this new information. She knew, she just KNEW, that Tristan was right for Rory. Peter had suddenly vanished from her mind, a Dugrey was much more suitable for her granddaughter. She was absolutely positive that whatever Rory had done was forgivable, despite the facts that up until moments ago Tristan was irredeemable. How quickly the fallen can rise.

XXX

Rory had perfected the art of list making when she was four. At that age the most complex it had ever gotten was choosing which cereal was her favorite (Fruit Loops had won by a fraction because 'they're colorful' had seemed like an important contributing factor at the time). Since then pro and con lists had played a part in every major decision she had ever made. And for the first time in her life, list making had failed her.

It wasn't so much a question of Should I Get Back With Tristan, Why/Why Not? It was more Will Tristan Take Me Back Even Though I Was A Colossal Bitch And He Really Really Doesn't Like Me Right Now. But it's hard to make a list when that list depends solely on another person's mindset. Rory knew she was being selfish as all get out. She had no right to so much as ask him forgiveness, and he was fully justified in leaving that morning. But it was human nature to go after the things that made you happy, and Tristan… well he was her happy.

The past four months Rory had carried around the feeling like something was constantly on the tip of her tongue. Like she was on the verge of something, on the edge of somewhere. It had driven her crazy, the feeling like she had forgotten something but had no idea what. The anxiousness of coming home to no one and nothing except a large dumpster outside her window that served as a musical instrument to the elements of nature.

She needed Tristan. And damned if she was going to let a little thing like him wanting her out of his life stop her.

XXX

Thus endeth another chapter and I have a pretty good idea of some stuff that's going to happen in the next one. Let's hope for sometime this year?