Rated PG: language.
I know I was supposed to have ended the 'Year of Time' series, but I couldn't resist this. Not to be taken very seriously...
Kindly take a moment to review.
Wes sighed with satisfaction. A beautiful day in the park, the sun, a cool breeze, birds chirping, his beautiful new wife at his side. Who could ask for more on this first day of April? He rested an arm around Jen's shoulders.
"Don't the trees look lovely?" she asked, leaning her head against his.
"Yeah, they do. The park's always nice this time of year."
"The leaves are coming in..." She looped an arm around his waist. "The honeymoon was great, but I'm glad to be home." They turned to face each other, stepping into a hug and a lingering kiss.
"Oh, God, they're at it again." Wes looked back. The comment had come from a few steps behind them, where Eric and Gaby were standing hand in hand, a mock scowl on his face, a grin on hers. "You guys seriously need to get a room," he continued.
"What, I can't kiss my wife while we're taking a walk in the park?"
"You're not even walking. Come on, we have to get back to Bio-Lab sometime this year."
Even as Wes opened his mouth to answer, a sound interrupted. Screams. After a quick look around, he spotted a commotion in the distance. People running. And -- he squinted at the thing they were running from, finding no better word to describe it than -- thing. A creature, vaguely human in shape, but impossibly big and bright purple in color, waving its arms and apparently attacking a tree.
"Come on!" Jen tugged at his hand. Eric was already running toward the creature. Wes followed, Gaby behind them as they all dodged fleeing people and in a few seconds came to a stop, staring.
It was big, all right, a creature resembling some kind of bizarre purple gorilla with a line of blue feathers running down its back. Like nothing he'd ever seen before. Wes hesitated. "What the hell is that thing?" he gasped.
"Beats me," Eric said. "A leftover mutant?"
"I've never seen a mutant that looked like that," Jen said.
"Well -- whatever it is, it doesn't look friendly!"
It seemed to notice them for the first time, and charged straight at them. Wes raised his arm and touched his morpher, a glance showing Jen doing the same. Eric's voice shouted as he morphed, also. They all sprang aside as the monster ran between them, swinging its long arms. Too late, he realized that it had a more vulnerable target as they heard a scream of fear.
"Gaby, watch out!" he heard Eric yell. Too late; they all ran forward, and then stopped as the creature scooped Gaby up in its grip and whirled on them, growling savagely. "Let her go!" Eric snarled, pulling the Quantum Defender from its holster and starting forward again.
"Relax, Rangers! I'll take care of this little problem!" It was another voice, coming from behind them. Wes, Eric, and Jen all swung around and stared in astonishment at what they saw.
A Ranger. A definitely female Ranger. She stood proudly, hands on hips, in a gleaming purple suit with white trim in the same pattern as theirs. Then she fell into what was obviously intended to be a heroic pose, a semi-lunge with arms out.
"Hi-yaaaa!" she shouted, and ran at the creature. Before they could stop her, she had attacked, pulling a saber out of thin air and hacking wildly at the purple gorilla, narrowly missing Gaby.
"Hey, watch it!" Gaby shouted.
"Get away from there, you idiot!" Eric yelled furiously.
However clumsy her attack, to Wes's astonishment it seemed to be effective. The monster dumped Gaby unceremoniously on the ground and backed up fearfully. "Hi-yaaaa!" the purple Ranger shouted again, even louder, and yanked a blaster from the holster on her hip, dropping the saber in the process. She held it in both hands and blasted away at the creature, a few shots actually connecting. And however unlikely, it worked. There was a brilliant flash of light and a fireball rose into the air as the creature exploded.
Eric was the first to move, running to Gaby. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Did it hurt you?"
"I'm fine, I think," she said, letting him help her up.
"What happened to the -- whatever it was?" Wes asked.
They all looked around. There was no sign of the purple monster, as if it had never existed. Only smoldering grass and a splintered tree that had suffered more from stray blasts than from the creature. With the danger gone, all four of them turned to face the mysterious new Ranger.
"Who are you?" Jen demanded. "Where did you come from? How did you get that morpher?"
"Don't be afraid, I'm a friend," she said.
"Oh, we're not afraid." Jen took a step closer. "I want to know who you are!"
"All right." She touched her morpher. A quick blaze of sparkling light ran over her as she demorphed, revealing a young woman -- a girl really -- with long wavy black hair, a beautiful face, and an impressive figure in tight shorts and a very well-filled tank top. "My name is April Love," she said, ignoring Jen and Gaby and smiling coyly at Wes and Eric.
"Okay..." Wes said. He demorphed also, with Eric and Jen following his example. "Now, how about telling us where you got a morpher?"
"Wouldn't you rather ask me how I appeared so suddenly? Where I'm from, what I do, what I think, if I'm single, what my phone number is-"
"No, we want to know where the morpher came from," Eric said.
"I could tell you all about it tonight." She gave him what she probably thought was a seductive smile. "I'm sure you want to gaze into my deep and mysterious eyes and talk about the dark secrets of my tragic and angst-filled past for hours..."
Eric exchanged a puzzled look with Wes. "Not really," he said. "What about the morpher?"
"Wes, you're captivated by the inky-dark locks framing my exquisite face, aren't you, and by the-"
"What the heck are you talking about?" Wes exclaimed.
"Where did you get that morpher?" Jen repeated, considerably louder this time.
"That's my secret!"
"Oh no, it's not," Jen said. She stalked forward, grabbing the girl's arm. "This looks just like one of our morphers. I know there isn't a purple one, at least not now. Where did you get this?"
"Ow," April complained. "You're mean. You're supposed to be all grateful that I saved you. All happy that I'm the new purple Ranger."
"After you almost cut Gaby in half with that saber? And you could have started a fire when you kept missing with the blaster."
"Wes and Eric are grateful, aren't you? You're both madly in love with me, I can tell."
"What?" Wes said in amazement. "You've got to be kidding."
"In love? Jesus, we just met," Eric said.
"But -- but you're supposed to be smitten by my incredible courage and confidence. By my long, gleaming raven hair. And my striking violet eyes."
"Now that you mention it, I thought your eyes look kind of weird."
"What do you mean, we're supposed to be smitten?" Wes said indignantly. "I just got married!"
"Well -- well, Eric isn't married! I'll bet he's smitten by my alabaster skin. My full pouting lips. My slender yet sexy figure."
"Hey!" Gaby said. "If that wasn't so ridiculous, I'd be mad."
"Looks like a boob job to me," Eric said, staring at the relevant part of April's anatomy.
"How dare you!" She crossed her arms over her chest.
"What did you think you were going to do with both of them, anyway?" Jen demanded.
April gave them a smirk. "One of them is destined to be mine. We'll fall passionately in love at first sight, get married right away, like tomorrow, and have tons of babies. But they're both so cute, I just haven't decided which one yet."
"That's got to be the stupidest thing I ever heard..." Gaby trailed off, stepping closer and staring. "You know... your voice sounds awfully familiar..."
"What? No! Never seen you before! Ever! In my life!" April's full, pouting lips began to tremble. "This -- this was supposed to be all different -- Eric and Wes were supposed to worship and adore me, and Jen and Gaby were supposed to be my best friends..."
"Yeah, right, we're going to be your best friends after you stole Jen's husband and my boyfriend," Gaby scoffed.
"What makes you think either Wes or Eric would fall for you?" Jen asked.
"My flowing midnight tresses... my pert, cute nose... my long slim legs..."
"I admit you're beautiful, but there's a little more to love than that," Wes said.
"I'm sure I know you," Gaby muttered again. "Your voice... and you look familiar too, kind of..." She moved closer still, examining April's face closely.
"Never saw you before in my life! We never met! You don't know me!" April burst into sobs. "This isn't working! But Uncle Loof promised!"
"Uncle Loof -- oh my God... Susie?"
"No! You weren't supposed to recognize me!"
"Who is she?" Wes asked.
"She's my cousin. She's always been a brat, always hanging around trying to attract attention, horning in where she's not wanted and pissing everyone off." Gaby turned on Susie with a sarcastic smile. "And her real name is Mary Sue Needlemeyer, from the Bronx. That's the only dark secret she has."
"Noooo!"
"What's the real story on that morpher, Susie? What's this all about?"
"I don't have to tell you anything!"
"Not unless you want me to call your parents. I'm sure they'd be fascinated to hear all about your tragic, angst-filled past."
Susie sniffled and wiped her nose, which was no longer quite so pert and cute. She nodded in defeat. "All right. I got the morpher from Uncle Loof. He invented it. Loof Lirpa, the famous Scandinavian scientist," she added, showing a trace of pride. "And he put some kind of hologram thingy in it too. To give me my swirling coal-black locks of hair... the deep pools of my indigo eyes... the flawless perfection of my features..."
"Not to mention those," Eric added helpfully, pointing to her chest.
After a resentful glance at him, she went on. "The purple monster was a hologram too. You were never in any danger. Uncle Loof said I could save you and be a big hero, and Wes and Eric would fall in love with me, and Jen and Gaby would like me, and everyone would think I was wonderful... but none of it happened... you all hate me!"
"No, we don't," Wes started, moved by the sight of her tears.
"Yes, we do," Jen said firmly, glaring at him.
"He probably told you that to teach you a lesson," Gaby said. "Or maybe just to get rid of you. Nobody likes someone who's perfect. You don't have to be the most beautiful, brilliant, powerful, charming, talented girl in the universe. You can't expect to always be the center of attention. Try just being a nice, ordinary person, and please, leave the superheroing to the superheroes."
With another sniffle, Susie protested, "Don't you like my really cool purple Ranger suit or the silken strands of my flowing midnight tresses as they stream over-"
"You already said 'flowing midnight tresses.' Time for you to go home now."
"Wait -- I'm secretly Jen's long-lost half-sister!"
"I'm sure your mom and dad would be surprised to hear that."
Desperately, she turned to the others. "But you haven't gotten to know my sparkling, insightful, yet tough and feisty personality!"
"And I'm afraid we'll have to live without that pleasure," Jen said.
"Maybe I should have tried hair of shining spun gold and eyes as blue as the morning sky...?"
"Wouldn't make any difference."
"Or tumbled locks of fiery red hair and moss-green eyes-"
"Just go!" Jen grated through clenched teeth.
With a startled movement, Susie touched the morpher on her wrist again, and disappeared in a burst of sparks. There was silence for a few seconds.
"Glad that's over," Wes sighed.
"Really?" Jen asked innocently. "I thought for a minute you were infatuated by her tar-black strands of hair, her neon-purple eyes, the balloons stuck to her chest, etc. etc."
"Didn't even notice." Wes dropped an arm over her shoulders.
"You know, I think I see the resemblance," Eric said thoughtfully, looking at Gaby.
"Don't you dare even think about it," she protested as they linked hands again. "We're only distant cousins."
"Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted...?" Wes said as they slowly started to walk again.